The Stowaway (-Part Nine)

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Yay update.

Oooh... Harley, Connor, Asher and Collie in the same room... that can get... interesting.

And he kissed Pax? But but but... why?

[VividBubbles!]

I'm guessing Collie's kiss with Pax was just a way for you to make him sick otherwise I will be very sad. Oooooo, and Collie, Harley, Asher, and Connor living together. Interesting. Update soon!!! BYE!

[sneasons greetings]

What the..?

This is just amazing.

How haven't I even read this before?

I CRAVE more.

[PaperThings]

A/N: Eeek sorry about the wait, guys. Also, sorry about the lack of sneezing in this chapter. I had to set a few things up. Thank you lovelies for being patient!!

@pinknose - Heee thank you. I do love those reactions.

@ Emily - Urgh, I've done it three years, and it always takes over my life in the most stressful of ways. But this is the first time that my first draft is anything I'm even remotely happy with, so I guess that's something? Still, I have a lot of work to do, haha. And yeah, I agree, most of the stories on here are absolutely amazing.

@ Sigrith - I do like putting strange mixes of characters together. And teehee, well, I can't do the predictable thing, can I?

@ Bubbles! - Hahaha, well, you'll seeeee . There's more that's going to happen/develop between all of them, I promise.

@ Ralee - Yay!!! Thank you so, so much! I'm so glad you like it.

---

Part 7

---

“Hey, slow down, you’ll trip,” Connor said. That smile. Collie wanted to wrench his wrist from Connor's grasp and rip it off his face.

Collie shuddered. He was in no shape for a confrontation; his nerves sizzled, dizzy and hot, and the last thing he needed was Connor Stallion goading his overworked heartbeat. He recalled a time at prep school, years ago: What’s the matter Michaels? You enjoying the fall? Stupid kid stuff, but then they’d trip him and he’d go sprawling, head first, bruised face a badge for the rest of the day. Those kids had been Connor’s friends.

“Please,” he said, and he hated his voice for trembling. “Not right now.” Perhaps hearing the desperation in his voice, Connor let him snatch his arm away.

“I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all,” Connor said, and his mask of hurt was so perfected that Collie wanted to punch him. Well, he always wanted to punch Connor, but now he prayed for the blow to purple up those too-blue eyes. “Now that we’re roommates. I thought… well, I know, Collie.”

“Huh?” His mind scattered, Collie ran a finger over his lips. But Connor couldn’t mean -

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” he said, smiling. “Don’t get me wrong, you were discreet, but it’s never been hard to see when you’re hiding something. You're so earnest all the time, Collie.”

“Hiding what?” Collie asked, but the next second it dawned on him and he felt his heart flutter. No wonder Connor wanted to room with them, no wonder –

“The laundry room? You and your - ”

His worst fears confirmed, Collie shut his eyes. And ran. That had become his first gear stance, legs poised to get as far as he could as fast as possible. The sound of Connor's calls in his ears, he rocketed first towards Asher’s room and then, because he realized he couldn’t bear to break the news just yet – after all, Connor had a problem with him, so if Pax was turned in, it would be Collie’s fault – he kept on running.

Of course. It always got fucked up in the end.

Unable to do anything but follow routine, his feet carried him to the one room, the one situation, he knew he could play.

“Hey, Collie. What’s the matter?”

Collie collapsed into a chair by the table and tried to catch his breath, running his hands through his hair. He could hear himself muttering, but wasn’t sure of what he was saying or why. It was just overwhelming, was all. Like everything had risen up and crushed in on him at once. One problem at a time, yeah, he could handle, but not kissing Pax and living with Connor and knowing that he’d fucked it all up and Connor was going to turn Pax in.

Asher would probably never speak to him again.

Or, no, he would. He was too kind to blame Collie. But Collie would know, every time they talked, every time Asher smiled sweetly at him, that it was a little bit a lie.

He’d never hated anyone as much as he hated Connor Stallion.

“You playing, Col?” Alabaster asked, his voice sharp. Unlike most people, he only called you by a nickname when he was angry with you.

Collie bristled. They never had discussed the room situation.

Suddenly he was very aware of James staring at him, Harley looking back and forth between him and the table. Only Jared didn’t seem to care.

“You haven’t been here in a while,” Alabaster said, putting out his cigarette. Where does he get those cigarettes? Collie had always wanted to know. “So I wondered. If you still wanted to play.” That voice.

“Yeah, sure, deal me in,” he said.

“Rough day?” James asked, his voice somewhere between inquisitive and sympathetic. Harley shot James a look, which Collie caught, and James dropped his eyes, abashed. He had planned to ask about the rooms, and what Collie felt about them – Collie was sure he would, the moment Harley wasn’t there to protect.

“A bit,” Collie said icily. “Is there anything to drink?”

“Yes, my dear Sir,” Alabaster said, and in under a second he was up, jumping over the bar and mixing Collie an elaborate drink that smelled rotten and tasted worse. Collie downed it in a gulp, for once delighted by the way his head spun.

“Hey,” Harley said, grabbing his hand under the table. “Maybe… maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Why don’t I take you back to your room? Or maybe try and move in to our new one early.” His smile was tentative and a little twisted on the corners, but he looked almost like the old Harley.

Collie shook his head, hating himself for the way he shoved away Harley’s hand, but knowing he had to. “Stop babysitting me, Delantis.” Harley froze, that deer in the headlights look of his, and Jared laughed. Jared's laugh was something awful, soft and patronizing and rock solid all at once.

Collie lost three rounds’ worth of money, burning through almost all his savings. After he’d consumed three more of Alabaster’s specialty drinks, Harley stopped letting the others take his money.

“Come on, he’s drunk,” Harley said, snatching away the coins Collie had dropped onto the table.

“I am not,” Collie said, but his words slurred and his eyes couldn't focus on one spot. When he stood up to reach for the cash – none of it his – he started to fall.

“Hey now, this is cruel,” James drawled, shaking his head as Alabaster tried to force more alcohol down Collie’s throat.

“I’m just – “

Alabaster never did finish his sentence.

The door clicked open and three high-sailors stepped in. “We had a feeling you would be here,” one of them, a large blonde man, said.

He did not look pleased about his discovery, which was something.

Some of the high-sailors got far too much joy out of punishing the lower types.

“You psychic now, are you Maxwell?” Alabaster said. He was a little drunk himself and his words sounded unhinged, his eyes wild and crazy as he leaned back his head to laugh.

“Come with us, boys,” Maxwell’s companion said.

“Fuck,” James spat.

“Collie, come on,” Harley said.

Collie had fallen behind the table and was sitting there, clutching the table leg, his eyes so wide and frightened that they made Harley want to turn away from him. Of course it took the high-sailors to sober Collie up.

“Come on, Collie,” Harley said to him, his body drooping.

“I can’t walk,” Collie said, and he looked panicked.

“Come on.” Harley waited patiently, helping him up and half carrying him down to the cell, where he took care of him, stopping the others when they said a word. It was a miserable night, for everyone, and by the end of it they were barely speaking to one another.

Alabaster, as it turned out, was a maniac in captivity, yelling and singing at the top of his lungs.

When Collie awoke the next morning, his head pounding, Alabaster and Jared were both gone. Harley was asleep, one arm draped over Collie’s back, and James sat in the corner, shoulders squared, looking angrier than Collie had ever seen him.

“Collie Michaels.”

Collie rubbed his face, realizing what had woken him.

“It’s urgent,” said the guard. “We’re releasing you for the day, but we expect all of you to report to the Captain’s office this evening, seven sharp. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” Collie said. He could barely remember anything. “Where did…” He gestured to the empty space.

The warden grimaced. “Your friends have important jobs aboard this ship, son. The Captain couldn’t afford to spare them.”

“Right,” Collie said. Urgent? What could be urgent? His heart started to race. Maybe Connor had turned Pax in. He waved to James, who didn’t wave back.

The warden led him to the hall and then opened the door to the side office.

Asher. Asher was there. Collie’s worst fears confirmed themselves. When the door clicked shut, Asher made a noise, a lamb in a fence. Tears poured down his face. And Collie's heart was aflame.

“Asher?”

“No – no,” Asher said, waving his hands, trying to shush him. “I – I told them I needed you for a research project,” he said, his words dampened with pitiful sobs. “They can't - they can't hear me." He glanced anxiously to the shut door. "But Collie, Collie, he’s not waking up.”

“What?” In his shock, and his exhaustion, and his remaining confusion from the previous day, Collie could barely focus on Asher, let alone what he was saying.

“I went to check on him this morning, and he didn’t wake up,” Asher said. “I don’t know if – “ He pressed his hands against his pretty-boy face, not so pretty now, his shoulders hunched with sobs. “I didn’t know who else to find and they said you were here…”

“It’s going to be fine,” Collie said, after a moment had gone by. He felt empty, all of his earlier awkwardness nothing compared to this. “I – “ He paused. “We’ll go check on him and then… we’ll figure it out.” At least Connor hadn’t turned them in yet, that was something. But as Collie looked at Asher, already falling apart, but not given up hope yet - he could tell - he knew this wasn't going to end well.

“Thank you,” Asher said softly, his voice barely audible. Before Collie knew it, Asher had pressed

against him, arms clinging under shoulders and head pressed against his uniform. Collie stood there, his nerves twittering self-consciously, and then wrapped his arms as tightly around Asher as they would go. Even with everything else, it occurred to them that this might be the only chance he got.

He never wanted the moment to end, but then he remembered Pax, barely breathing, maybe dead, so sick that it chipped a little at Collie’s heart. “Let’s go.”

---

A/N: Thank you for reading, guys! Comments would be adored, and I promise not to take too-too long with the next part .

[Emily]

oh my holy good lord, Paaaax! I knew this was going to happen from the beginning. But still, I wanted to keep him. And I'm recalling that wonderfully steamy kiss from the last update now.

[obsessed]

eeeeep.

(:

[TheCakeIsAlive]

eeeeep.

(:

eep seconded. Great story. Very addictive.

[sneasons greetings]

But-but...

Pax

[VividBubbles!]

I'm.... dying. Dying from....... adorableness. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!!!!! This is so awesome and Asher's so cute and I really want Collie to get sick and I don't know why but I love Connor and Harley's so sweet and I really don't want Pax to die and and and......... I LOVE THIS!!!! Thou shall updateth this soonest oreth I shall dieith!

BYEITH!

[PaperThings]

A/N: Blah, okay, so for once the delay wasn't because I was lazy or busy, but because I was having a lotlotlot of trouble with this story, and had to change my outline a ton and I'm still not sure I'm thrilled with its new direction, but hey, I guess we'll see in a few parts, and please tell me what you think because I'd really love to know other people's opinions, haha (not that there's all THAT much plot here, but still).

Thanks for your patience, guys! You're the best. <3

@ Emily - Hee . The steaminess isn't over, I promise. And you'll see about Pax . Of course nothing's permanent, right?

@Obsessed - EEP! Haha thank you.

@Sigrith - Yay! Thanks so much! I'm so glad you like it.

@ Ralee - I know . I do feel a little bad for him.

@ Bubbles! - Yay! Thank you so much dahling, I'm very glad you find it adorable. So sorry I took so long to update!

---

Part 8

---

As he looked at Pax’s body, white and still and silent, Collie thought unwillingly of his father.

Is this how his father had looked? A porcelain shell? Collie would never know, and he would always wonder. He would always wonder Why and How, and he would never get the answers. He knew that. His arms crammed against his torso, trying to crush himself closed and stop the whole world from squirming in. The sound of Asher’s sobs tore at his heart.

“He has a pulse.” His voice was flat. The relief, sprawling and suffocating, came after a second’s delay.

Asher wasn't listening. He was pulling at Pax's hair, gentle, insistent, making the pale locks damper than they already were.

"Asher, he's alive." The word alive caught on his tongue, too many syllables, and it choked him a little when Asher turned to look, his face a mess of tears and hopelessness. "What should we do?" he asked Asher, almost impatient.

"I..."

"He needs to go to the infirmary. I don't think we can wait for the next pit stop, because..." Because Pax looked very, very sick. Because he was alive, but Collie, though no medical expert, didn't think not-waking-up said anything very good about your health. "What if..." The idea came to him in desperation, and he knew it wouldn't have otherwise; it was so bizarre and ridiculous he didn't even know if Asher would agree. But at least it was something. "What if we pretend he's you?"

"What?" This caught Asher's attention. His hand fell to Pax's shoulder and he looked up, meeting Collie's eyes.

"Cut his hair, put him in your uniform... he doesn't look so much like you, but..."

"The infirmary staff doesn't know me, though," Asher said. Collie's heart fluttered, hearing how hope had wiggled its way back to Asher's face and his voice, making them alight again. "It - it could work. Oh, Collie, thank you. You're amazing."

Amazing. Collie flushed, and fought and lost the battle against a small smile. Amazing. Of course, the idea wasn't perfect. If any of Asher's friends visited him, they'd know the truth immediately. And then there was the matter of Connor Stallion and how he would, most likely, figure out the trick at once, if he really cared that much. For the first time, Collie felt grateful to be rooming with him - it would allow him to keep a closer watch on Connor's daily moves. As an obstacle, rather than an enemy, the blue-eyed rival seemed much more manageable.

"I just... want to help." He sounded exactly as inferior as he felt, and it mortified him. "And you'll, you'll stay here? Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Of course. Anything, I'll do anything," Asher said, his voice frayed with desperation.

"Okay, then let's make this quick."

Collie let Asher do the hair cutting and face washing and also let him change Pax into the sailor's clothing - he looked away for that, focusing as he did on his hands, making sure they didn't sweat too much. The truth was, though they would never be anything close to identical, they now looked enough alike to pull this off - again, so long as Asher's friends didn't take notice.

"Please, just take him there now," Asher said, when Collie tried to add more finesse and detail to their plan. "I'm going to lose my mind, sitting here like this... please, Collie?"

"Sure," Collie said. And when Asher reached out a hand it took him only a second to realize Asher meant for him to hold it and he did, squeezing tight until it stopped shaking. "It's going to be okay, Asher." And as he left, a groomed Pax slumped in his arms, he felt his interior balance struggle between confidence and terror. When Pax's warm face slid against his collarbone, his insides smashed wildly between the two.

"Please, please, someone help!" He was thrilled by how easily the panic came to his voice, because it was all there. He was making a scene, and as he shouted for a doctor to come, that he might actually cry. What if this didn't work?

"What is it, son?"

Collie recognized the doctor from when he himself had been here, not long ago. He realized suddenly that Asher had visited him, but then decided that enough kids had been here since that the doctor probably wouldn't have remembered his face.

"Have you been taking your medicine?" the doctor asked, even as he spotted Pax's body.

No, but he has, Collie thought. Oh God, what if this was all his fault? What if he had made it worse somehow?

"Doctor, it's Asher Abrams... I went to see him today and I found him, like this, and it's true he's had a bit of a cold, but -"

"Don't worry, Collie," the doctor said, and all at once Pax was out of his arms and in the doctor's. "We'll make sure he's okay." They worked quickly. At first it seemed they were unconcerned, doing routine checks, but as the time went on, and the muttering increased, the worry set in around the edges.

Collie stood completely still, trying to stave off horror as he watched various tubes and pumps plunge into Pax's delicate skin. He was, at first ignored. Approximately twenty minutes later - Collie had started keeping track, with the theory that the more time that passed, the worse a situation this was - the first doctor turned to him.

"This is no place for you right now, Mr. Michaels." Back to last names, then. Serious business. "We know you're worried about your friend - we'll let you know if he's ready for visitors." If. If, if, if.

Collie wanted to fall apart right there. Whether Pax's well being was for Asher's sake or his own, he could no longer tell. Somewhere in the act of worrying about them both, he had confused the two and driven himself to a point of unutterable fear and love for the pair of them.

The doctor's hands were anxious as they shoved him to the door. "Please. He needs our full attention right now."

Collie nodded fast and back-peddled to the laundry room, where he found Asher. Of course. What else had he expected? Asher was stuck now.

"He's..." He couldn't say it. He shrugged his shoulders, feeling defeated even though nothing had happened yet, and half-fell onto his knees. Asher scooted forward and in seconds they were holding each other, heads resting against one another's shoulders, each helping the other breathe.

In that moment Collie truly felt at sea, afloat, but at least he wasn't alone.

"Can you sneak in, Collie?" Asher said. "Try to see him? Please?"

"Yeah, I will," Collie said. It had already occurred to him. "Tonight. After - Oh shit." The worry and the hospital and the sitting here with Asher had all taken up the day. He was late for his meeting with the Captain.

"I'll be back," he said. "I'll bring you food and clothes and stuff."

"No, I'm okay," Asher said. "Please, just find out about Pax. And... oh, we were supposed to move into our new room tonight, weren't we?" He laughed, as if this was funny. Collie didn't find it funny; for all the good things that had happened, he thought it an added travesty that he wouldn't get to room with Asher after all. At least he had Harley, he and Harley against Connor, though at the moment that was very little comfort.

When Collie arrived to the Captain's office, the others were there. Pinpoints of amusement, curiosity and anger hit him at once, and he blushed, particularly jarred by Harley's slight scowl.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," he said. "Uh, my friend... I had to take him to the infirmary."

"I heard," the Captain said, and something about the ice in his voice made Collie's skin prickle. What had the Captain deduced, exactly? "Please, take a seat Collie. We'll discuss proper decorum some other time. As I was saying to your friends, I think I have come up with the proper punishment for your misdemeanors. Though I do understand that you are young, and that boys will be boys, you broke chief ship rules. And besides all that, I never can have enough workers. And so, I'm giving you boys a special job. I realize you're all consumed with your regular duties, so these will take place after dinner, during your usual free time. Something to prevent you from these... less savory activities." Collie gulped. He would have used that time to visit Pax or, he realized, Asher, who would now have no contact with anyone else. He inhaled sharply - once upon a time, that'd have been a dram come true.

"You will come here and, starting tomorrow night, help me catch a criminal aboard this ship." The Captain did not look at Jared and Alabaster. He did not say anything about how they'd already been helping him with this. "I will explain in more detail to you then. For now, you are dismissed. Please use tonight to move into your new rooms."

They were quiet as they left. No one said a word about the punishment and Collie was sure that meant something.

There was no evidence of Alabaster's early insanity. His red hair was combed once more, glossy and fragrant, his cheeks lightly tinged with pink. He and the others were rooming together, of course. With some kid who Collie'd never even spoken to. This was going to be the divide, then. He could feel it, and was surprised by how sad it made him. There wouldn't be a group anymore, not like there had been. Or at least, there wouldn't be a group with much room for him.

"See ya Harley," Alabaster said. "See ya. Collie." James waved off-hand, looking like he might say something. Jared nodded.

"Bye."

Harley was standing by the wall, his arms folded, his eyes fixed on something faraway.

For the first time in a while Collie remembered that Harley, who was not dealing with a stowaway, and who was always more deeply affected by pain than most people, was still struggling with the deaths of their companions from the fishing trip. Collie was so tired, but decided he could spare a bit of kindness for his best friend. "I can't believe we're roommates. It's going to be great, huh?"

Harley smiled weakly. "Hard to believe," he said. His gaze was wistful as he watched the others go. "Hey, where'd you go this morning? James said he saw you get released." Because he was Harley, he was not resentful, merely inquisitive and maybe slightly envious.

"Oh, um... Asher. He was feeling sick, so I tried to help him, but then..." To his shock, a lump caught in his throat. He could hardly wait till dinner was over and he could sneak downstairs to see about Pax.

"I'm sorry," Harley said. Collie saw the debate that took place in his eyes, whether or not to pry further. Apparently he decided not, because he slung his arm around Collie and off they went to eat their mediocre meal.

Connor was not in the dorm that night, and Collie worried that he might be up to something like, say, meeting with the Captain. For once in his life, he hoped Connor would show up soon.

Harley was exhausted and so they got into their beds - Collie liked the bottom bunk and Harley liked the top, so they claimed the left wall - and went to sleep without discussing anything, important or otherwise.

Collie waited until exactly midnight to leave; Connor hadn't showed up still and so Collie decided either he had decided to wait until the next night to move, or that they were all screwed anyway, and his sneaking out wouldn't make a different. He made his way silently to the infirmary, through the door that was kept unlocked - of course it was kept unlocked, he thought; what if someone needed it?

He knew from his short time there where the night doctors were, and so he avoided those areas, and instead snuck to the slightly more permanent area. There was one occupied bed, and he found it after only a few minutes searching.

Pax's eyes were open and Collie almost stopped where he was, almost sank into the ground, because in a way it was more than he'd been hoping for.

"You're up," he said, fighting to keep the emotion from his voice. "Your brother's going to be so happy." And so am I, he thought.

Pax smiled, a genuine smile, small and fragile though it was. "How'd you manage this?" he asked. His voice. It was so weak, Collie almost didn't want to hear it. But, he decided, it was better than nothing.

Collie shrugged. "We cut your hair." His face felt too hot, but the room was dark and he decided Pax couldn't see. "You - you figured that out, right?"

"After they called me Asher. So my brother is...?"

"In the laundry room. I'm going there next," Collie said, holding up the bag of fresh clothes and smuggled dinner rolls.

"Wow," Pax said, and his voice took on a rough exterior, tremulous though it was. "We owe you a lot, don't we?"

Collie cleared his throat. "Was that sarcasm?" He was genuinely destroyed, just a little bit.

"Nah."

Collie relaxed and silence descended on them. All he could think of w as how, with his new hair, in the dim light, Pax looked a lot like Asher. And yet not.

"So... how are you?"

"Pretty shitty, if you can believe it." His laugh was cold and thin, and Collie could trace the stamped out hysteria in it. "They gave me this thing that's supposed to help, but so far I just feel... I don't know. They said my fever'll be down by morning."

"That's good." You didn't almost die then, he wanted to say. You had us really sick. "It's not anything permanent?"

"Well, I gue - " He cut off, the spoons of his eyes aching outward, grabbing at all that surrounded him as his mouth made a funnel. He made wheezing, gulping sounds, his hands - all connected to wires - drawn forward. "Fu-hih-ck, Co...llie... I can't - " He flapped his free fingers, his nose squirming downward as his top lip curled open, tugging him into the realm of no control. Collie got it - there was no barrier between them. Frantic on Pax's behalf, he smudged up the blanket around Pax's neck, and watched as the boy's face instantly disappeared into it.

"HihhPSHAA! EhhDDSHHAAA! PPSHAA-SHHHA!" By the time he finished his shoulders were heaving and they didn't stop, as if the exertion was too much for him. Collie lowered the bed so he was level, and watched as Pax's eyes burned, glinted with feverish pain. "Your head, is it okay?"

"Hurts," Pax mumbled.

"Okay, well, what can I do?" He felt over-eager. "Um, water maybe? Water, okay?" He heard the unnatural pace in his words and winced. "Here." He dashed to get a washcloth.

When he made it back, he heard a soft sound, like a cat mewing to be let inside. There was water on Pax's cheeks.

"Pax - "

After seeing Asher, sunshine super hero boy, cry, he'd thought no one's tears could surprise him, but he'd been wrong. Asher's brother's could. There was something so much worse about this, about Pax crying. Like he'd given up. Like he'd held back for so long, and what was the point anymore?

He saw Collie looking at him and just stared back, the tears splashing almost unnoticed onto his cheeks. "Pax," Collie said, softer. "Um, I'm going to stay, okay? Until - until it's light out." Because he knew Pax would never ask, but at this point, he couldn't foresee leaving and facing Asher tomorrow. It would be cruelty to leave Pax alone.

He reached out with the damp washcloth and wiped Pax's nose, which had begun to run. The cold water made Pax inhale hugely, an instant and painful reaction, and Collie waited patiently as he sneezed shudderingly into the blanket. "Hehh'SHHA! HihhSHHH! EttdddSSHHA!" When he finished, his quiet crying turned to sobs - small, contained, but sobs nonetheless. It was the medicine, Collie told himself. That's why he was losing it.

Collie gripped his arm and sat, gingerly, beside him. He didn't have any idea what to say and so he said nothing.

"I fucked it all up, didn't I?" Pax asked, his eyes tearing and words slurring, both with tears and the hitching beginnings of another sneeze. "I'm a fucking murderer... I ruined my brother's life."

"No," Collie said, his voice harsh. "You didn't Pax, you didn't." And because he'd already done it once today, with other Abrams boy, he thought why not and he reached out to hold Pax's hand. He was almost, almost, getting used to this. And Pax, as if they might as well take this all the way, hid in Collie's shoulder, his hot tears smearing along the pajama top, his small body quaking into Collie's chest. Collie couldn't help thinking that he'd been better, more adequate, at comforting the other Abrams boy, but that he would remember this moment more vividly.

And when the sun came up, and Pax was finally asleep, he gave the other boy a squeeze and crawled away to check on Asher.

His whole body tingled. He had never been more aware of everything - of himself, and the way he walked and talked and looked, and of other people, and the way they moved around him. And though there was a great wall of sadness in him, threatening to rise up, he also felt strangely elated. Sometimes there were little things to be grateful for.

A/N: No cliffie! Isn't that peculiar? Next chapter will probably be more exciting, and at any rate will include Connor (probably? unless I depart from the outline once again?) so that's good. Please, please comment and tell me your thoughts!

Thanks a lot for reading!

[Emily]

I was so confused when I scrolled down to find nothing :c

"is this an early April fool's joke? "

and then I put on my glasses

and highlighted everything

and the world was once again right as rain

then I read it

and my world turned upside down again

poor Pax, as much as I love his suffering

[PaperThings]

Wait it doesn't show up as anything? Gah okay, I need to fix it. Something weird was going on with the font when I posted it and so I made it white, but... blah.

Haha thank you so much for the comment!

Edit: Okay, I fixed it. I'm not sure why but my computer was being obnoxious earlier and it messed me up.

[VividBubbles!]

Oh, thank God! You finally continued this!!!! I was so scared that you had stopped writing this! This was so good! I'm still waiting for Collie and/or Connor to get sick but I guess that's what happens when you have an awesome plot, it takes longer to get to the part everybody wants to happen. I loved that scene with Pax and the crying. Oh, and thanks for not killing him by the way. Otherwise I probably would have been really, really sad. Update soon!

BYE!

edited to point out Ralee and her now wantingness of Collie sickness as well, just sayin'

[sneasons greetings]

Oh my dear god, thank you!

Another chapter. This is so fantastic. I've been waiting.

I hope he gets better...

But... they kissed.

Collie should get sick too. xD

[cupkake]

I'm so glad I finally took the time to read this. It's beautiful, I'm completely hooked. I can't wait for the next part, because this is definitely one of the best stories thats been posted on the forum in awhile. Haha hopefully what Pax has is contagious

[EmeraldThread]

Oh wow, I just realized I haven't told you how fantastic this story is! Your writing is absolutely beautiful and it's so easy to immerse myself into the world of the characters and just enjoy it through to the end. I LOVE all of your characters and the plot and everything going on (especially this twist here). Looking forward to your next update!

[PaperThings]

A/N: I'm so so sorry, guys! I was finishing up school and exams and then I had this surgery thing that wasn't too serious but made me not want to write for a while. But I definitely didn't permanently abandon this story and here, at last, is another part. I have some more of it kinda-sorta written (it was done quickly and needs a LOT of editing), so it shouldn't be all THAT long before I post some more.

Thank you so much, you lovely, lovely commenters, you are the greatest people EVER and I really appreciate the feedback. XOXO

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Part Nine

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Collie did not have the heart to wake Asher up, although he desperately wanted someone to talk to. It had only taken several weeks for him to grow unused to loneliness, and despite the memory of Pax’s weight in his arms, the sound of Harley breathing softly in the neighboring bunk, he had never sensed more acutely his isolation in the world.

He stood with his hand poised to open the door, not daring, wishing he were a different person and wishing he didn’t wish it so.

“Collie?”

“Alabaster? What are you doing here?” He hugged his skinny arms against his chest and realized what a stupid question it was. Collie who was habitually in bed by nine, but Alabaster often roamed the halls at night, wreaking havoc and causing general unhappiness.

“I could ask you that, friend. It’s a little…late… isn’t it?”

“It’s almost breakfast,” Collie said quickly. “I had to do some laundry.”

“Ah, d’you need help?”

“No, that’s okay.” He pressed up against the door, as if Asher were his to protect, and realized at the sight of Alabaster’s darting eyes that it had been the wrong move.

“You sure?” His red eyebrows danced.

“Yep, I’m fine,” Collie said. He smiled as widely as he could, which resulted in more of a grimace.

“You know, you and Harley are really missing the party.” For the first time Collie noticed the shine over Alabaster’s eyes, a hint that he was drunk or angry, or both. “We’re having so much fun without you.”

“That’s great, Al,” Collie said. “I’ll be sure to tell Harley. Well, good night.” He waited until Alabaster had stepped partially down the hallway, and waved goodbye, before he stepped off the door.

And then, the second his back was turned – Alabaster raced back and opened the door.

“ALABASTER!” Collie roared, realizing too late he’d wake up the whole hallway. “Fuck, Alabaster.”

But Alabaster stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. His glance flicked from Asher – who was curled up in sleep, his breathing like slippered footsteps - to Collie and he grinned.

“Get out of there,” Collie hissed. “You’re going to wake him up.” He succeeded in dragging Alabaster out by the shirt collar – a feat he knew would have been impossible, had the other man been unwilling – and was shamed at the sudden explosion of giggling.

“Really? You had to go for one of the pretty boys?” Alabaster asked, between laughs. “Is Connor in on it, too? Does Harley know? Just how much have you been keeping from us, Collie my boy?” His hands settled on Collie’s shoulders and Collie shook them off, unnerved.

Alabaster slid to the floor, hysterical.

At least this got it over with, Collie thought. Someone was bound to find out eventually, and it may as well have been the worst person first. And besides, if Alabaster thought he and Asher were together, and assumed that’s why Collie was sneaking around, then that wasn’t so bad at all.

“Firstly,” he said, his face hot, “I’d prefer you don’t repeat this to anyone.” With any luck, he’d be too drunk to remember it by sunrise. “And secondly, no, Connor Stallion is, and always will be, a dipshit who I do not want to associate with, and I do not know why we were put in a room together. Goodbye, Alabaster.”

Fury stirred through him as he strode for the exit, and he decided that he’d be happy to never lay eyes on Alabaster ever again.

Unfortunately, that was a near impossibility. They all gathered together again that night, after dinner, and reported to the Captain.

Marcos ushered them in and then remained in the corner, his eyes eager for attention but already clouding with disappointment. Harley eventually rewarded him, supplying a thin-lipped grin and a wink, and Collie felt a surge of affection for his friend.

“You boys will be split into groups, and in those groups I want you to search every corner of this ship, and report any suspicious persons or activities to me.” Those were the Captain’s only instructions. He did, however, dole out flashlights and cameras, and – to Collie’s supreme unhappiness – weapons. He was given a knife, and so was James; the other three were given guns. Marcos looked unhappy when he was told that, although he would be searching with them – the Captain needed all the help he could get, apparently – he would not be getting a weapon himself.

“You three…” The Captain pointed at Alabaster, Jared and Collie, “will form one search party, and you three,” he pointed to the others, “will form another. Please report to me when the shift has ended and tell me what you have found. Remember boys, I do expect results.” He raised an eyebrow.

Collie couldn’t have been less pleased with his group if he’d tried. He had never liked Jared much, although he’d tried to for Harley’s sake, and Alabaster was sure to be twice as bad if he didn’t have someone light-hearted like James or Harley to bounce his comments off of.

Sure enough, they were two steps into the corridor when Alabaster’s hands, claw-like, seized on the back of his shirt. “Our little secret, huh, Collie?”

“Shut up,” Collie said, trying to erase from his mind the ugly image of Alabaster’s wink. He wondered if he could simply abandon them here, but guessed from the no-humor expression on Jared’s expression that he would probably be reported. “Let’s get this over with.”

“I say we start on the top floor, do a thorough comb-through,” Jared said.

“Fine with me,” Collie said, suddenly glad Pax was safe in the infirmary.

Thorough was perhaps an odd word to describe their search. Alabaster and Collie hung back, arms folded, occasionally bending to peer half-heartedly under something, and Jared, void of emotion, tore each room apart in full.

“What are you looking for, there? Footprints?” Alabaster said.

Jared didn’t answer and perhaps it was that, being ignored, that incited Alabaster’s anger.

“So guess what Jared,” he said, bouncing a little in front of them down the hall. “Collie doesn’t want me to tell you – guess they’re keeping things quiet – but, he has a new boyfriend.”

Collie’s lungs contracted and he found when he opened his mouth to scream, to protest, to anything, he couldn’t utter a single word.

“New boyfriend, or is first boyfriend better?” Alabaster said. “Sorry mate-y, I just thought it was better we were all on an even playing field here.”

Collie took a breath, tried to ease the burning in his cheeks. “I bet you did,” he said in a dull, clipped voice.

“You’ll never guess who it is,” he went on.

Jared looked as if he hadn’t heard a word of it.

“ – Asher Abrams.”

Collie wondered why it was quieter than before, and then realized it was because Jared had stopped walking.

“The boy who’s sick?”

“What?” Collie forgot all about Alabaster and focused on Jared, Jared whose eyes sometimes looked empty, like he didn’t have one kind thread to him.

“He’s in the infirmary,” Jared said slowly. “We’ve been short one man.”

Of course. Jared and Asher were both smart, well-qualified – they held the same top jobs. “Um. Yeah. He’s been sick.” Collie stuck his shaking hands in his pockets.

He had to get them off this floor, out of this hall, before Alabaster could do anything. They had to go back to the Captain’s office as soon as possible.

“Looks like you busted him out though, huh?”

“Shut it, Alabaster.” Collie glanced to Jared and nearly flinched when Jared stared back, not quite inquisitive but also not quite oblivious.

“Why don’t we check on him!” And with a moment of theatrical grandiose, he raced – no, skipped – to the laundry room and flung open the door in a single motion, grinning to himself. Twice in one day. I should have seen it coming, Collie thought.

He intercepted and slammed himself against the door, shutting it, just as he caught a glimpse of Asher’s bemused expression.

“I’m sorry,” he mouthed, but wasn’t sure if Asher saw. Face red, he kicked noisily at the wall. “Leave him the fuck alone, Alabaster. He doesn’t feel well.”

But as Alabaster stood there, laughing, Collie noticed the vein that stood out in his neck. Alabaster wasn’t amused, he was furious. Why? Because Collie had taken precious Harley away from them? Once upon a time Collie wouldn’t have cared less if Alabaster wanted to be his enemy – but now it made him nervous.

“Let’s finish,” he said, through clenched teeth. “I’m tired.”

There were no more upsets and Alabaster, even, was unusually quiet. Jared continued to act with far more professionalism than was needed, and Collie wondered what he got out of it.

As soon as they were finished, Collie sprinted back to the laundry room, wincing as he ignored Harley calling for him outside the Captain’s office.

“I’m so sorry,” he said immediately, sitting beside Asher.

Asher’s eyes were wide. “Why? Who was that before?”

“Just… friends of mine,” Collie said. “It’s not important. I’m just sorry they bothered you.”

But Asher looked unbothered. “What? They don’t know about my brother, do they?”

“No,” Collie said emphatically. “No, they don’t.” He hoped he wasn’t trying to convince himself and that the squirmy, twisty feeling inside of him had only to do with what Alabaster did think – that he and Asher were together.

“Well, all right then, it doesn’t matter.” Asher said, and the smile on his face, pure sweetness, melted away all of Collie’s concerns. “How is he?”

“Er, well… he’s getting better. He’ll be okay.” Collie curled his hands into fists, fighting thoughts and feelings about Pax. That would complicate this too much. He was here with Asher, he reminded himself. Asher whom he'd dwelled on since the moment the ship debarked.

“It’s such a relief,” Asher said, exhaling. As he spoke he shifted in the small space, so he and Collie were side by side. Their noses almost brushed as he turned to meet Collie’s eyes. “Collie,” he said, in a confessional tone, “you can’t possibly understand how much you’ve done for me, for both of us. I can’t remember the last time I thought he might be safe.”

But Collie could only nod along, because he was lost – lost in the ice-like perfection of Asher’s cheekbones and by the overwhelming image of he and Pax as children, different sides of a coin Collie couldn’t help clutching with his love.

“You saved him, Collie,” Asher said, and when he reached out a hand to touch Collie’s arm and then froze halfway, Collie thought his heart might stop.

His eyes flicked away from Asher’s face automatically, somehow embarrassed.

“Ehh-NNGT!”

The noise was surprised, like a kitten unhappy it had ambled upon a needle.

“Oh,” Collie said, and blushed horribly when he realized he’d said it aloud.

Asher was grinning though, a sheepish little smile. “Sorry,” he said, the back of his hand against his nose. And in perhaps the most graceful surrender Collie had ever witnessed, his eyes folded neatly shut and he made another kitten-like noise of distress. “EhhNNX!” He sniffled lightly and dropped his hand, apparently finished.

“Bless you,” Collie whispered. “You didn’t… you aren’t sick, are you?” He wondered at the power of lies and if what he’d told Jared had any impact on this.

“It doesn’t matter,” Asher said, “as long as Pax is okay. I’ll be fine. I have a much stronger immune system than he does, at this point.”

Collie nodded, but the symptoms still made him uneasy. “You should be careful though. Here.” He took the blanket and wrapped it firmly around Asher’s shoulders, holding the edges against Asher’s chest for as long as seemed acceptable.

“Thank you,” Asher said, and the smile never left his face. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m happy to help,” Collie said, eyes on his knees. There were so many things he wanted to say to Asher. Like how he was a great brother, like how Pax was so lucky to have someone like him. Like how he was the greatest person Collie knew, and didn’t deserve something like this happening to his family. But Collie wasn’t the sharing type, and so he kept it to himself.

“Listen…” he said, his anxiety at the moment pushing him to it, “The Captain’s having me search for the stowaway. Me and my friends.”

Asher’s eyebrows moved to paint a gentle picture of sadness.

“But, don’t worry,” Collie said. “This is good, in fact, because I can lead them off the trail. And everyone thinks you’re in the infirmary, so…”

“Right,” Asher said, but he sounded nervous. “Right. Well, he was bound to keep looking.” He folded his legs up under the blanket and gave another sniff. “I’m sorry he dragged you into it, Collie. It must be hard.”

One day, Collie thought, he would have to ask Asher how he remained so sympathetic all the time.

“It’s all right.”

Their faces almost touched once more as they looked at one another, peacefully quiet. This time Collie felt rather than saw when Asher shuddered, moving fluidly with a gasp against his hand.

Even as his faces crumpled, his blond lashes alive and his eyes sparkling with moisture, he still looked, somehow, composed. “UhhHhXT!” There was a great pause and Asher wrapped an arm over his face, shielding what was possibly a less composed version of this. “Uhh’choo! Ehhshoo!” Collie tried not to blush.

“Excuse me,” Asher said, the picture of politeness. Collie couldn’t help smiling.

Even though he didn’t want to, really didn’t want to in fact, he made his legs work. After all, if he stayed any longer there was a good chance he’d embarrass himself. “You need rest,” he said. “It sounds like you’re getting sick.”

Asher nodded thoughtfully, but to Collie’s delight, he looked disappointed.

“I’ll stop by tomorrow,” he said.

“Okay. Can you – can you see Pax, too?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Collie,” Asher said. His head lolled back against the pipe, sleepy and unguarded, and Collie wanted very much to kiss him good night – but he couldn’t. “Tell him… I say hi.”

“Yeah. Okay. Good night, Asher.”

He stood against the door for almost five minutes, just breathing, letting himself for the first time imagine the rest of the story as if it might be a thing. A thing that could come true.

EDIT: cannot for the life of me get the paragraphs to space the way I'd had them before, I'm so sorry!

[EmeraldThread]

I absolutely LOVE this story!! So excited to see how this turns out for the three of them, especially now that Asher's sick, too. Can't wait for the next update!

[Emily]

YAY AN UPDATE! :'D hope you're recovering well from your surgery

and I'm totally feelin' you about the paragraph spacing. can't stand it when my computer totally and utterly refuses to let me do what I want to it

ufufufu it's only a matter of time and [lots of] exposure before Collie catches this wonderfullness 8'D

[VividBubbles!]

Mmmmmm, I love you Narnes! And oooooooh is Asher getting sick?! Poor thing! I guess Collie'll have to take care of him! And how will Collie survive the stress on his immune system? Oh right, he won't. More soon please!

BYE!

[sneasons greetings]

Oh, thank god. I thought you'd forgotten about us D:

Amazing.

Keep going

Pleease?

[ichixshiro14]

Yayyyyyyyyyy update!!!