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The Sneeze Contest


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This is my second story, constructive criticism would be appriciated. :)

"Oh my, look how horrible she looks with all that makeup on." Ashley said as she pointed to the television screen while she was sitting next to her two best friends Nicole and Katie. Just then Ashley felt a burning tingling sensation in her long, straight nose. She knew she had a monster sneeze coming so she squinted her dark brown eyes. "Heh, eh, he-ICHIIEWWW, hah-ISHHHHOOO." Her long, dark hair whipped ferociously covering her face. The second sneeze was very wet and sprayed into her elbow.

"Bless you." Nicole said.

"Thanks." Replied Ashley."

"Wow, you sneeze all the time, your constantly sneezing." Katie said, staring at her with her blue-green eyes, small, button nose, and her dark blonde hair. Ashley couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"What?!?!? I sneeze alot? Your the one with the nose always throwing fits."

"Oh come on," Katie replied, "even Nicole sneezes more than I do."

"No way! Name the last time I sneezed!" Nicole exclaimed with her long, straight nose like Ashley's, blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes.

"I have a way we can settle this discussion." Ashley said.

"How?" The other two girls exclaimed.

"We will have a sneezing contest. Each one of us will have two feathers, so for me I will have one feather to tickle Katie's nose with and the other one I will tickle Nicole's nose with. The person that sneezes first is the sneeziest person with the weakest nose, and who ever sneezes last is the person with the strongest nose and sneezes the least." Ashley said.

"Yea ok, I will go get six feathers from the drawer." Katie exclaimed. After Katie got the feathers they each got two feathers and brought their chairs close up by each other. Their arms were a little bit tangled up but they each had two feathers underneath their two nostrils.

"Ok when I say go we can all start tickling," Ashley said, "ready, set, GO!"Ashley started tickling Nicole's right nostril and Katie's left nostril while Katie was tickling Ashley's right nostril and Nicole's left nostril and Nicole was tickiling Katie's right nostril and Ashley's left nostril. Ashley felt like she was being accused of something she was innocent for. She knew she didn't sneeze as much as the other two but that all didn't matter if she lost this contest and she felt like she would lose right then. Nicole seemed to find the sneezy spot with her feather in Ashley's left nostrils. Just as Ashley's eyes started fluttering Nicole seemed to stop brushing her nostril with her feather and when Ashley looked to see why, it was because Nicole's nostrils were flaring big time and she really looked like she needed to sneeze. Nicole's breathing hitched and she took her feather away from Ashley's nose and took her other feather away from Katie's nose and turned her head the other way.

"Damn, I need to, heh-choo, ha-chew, heh-chiewww." Nicole sneezed a quick, rapid fire triple and she was out of the contest. Nicole gave them each one of her feathers so they each had two. "Wow, I can't beloved I lost that quickly." Nicole said before having to sneeze again. "heh-cheww, hah-ichoo." Ashley was happy that she knew she couldn't lose now, but she really wanted to beat Katie because she said about how little she sneezed compared to how much Ashley sneezed. She knew Katie's small nose couldn't take it much longer as Katie started wrinkling her nose a bit but Ashley was worried she would beat Katie to it first. Ashley finally could not take the burn anymore, she was disappointed with her self as she prepared for a sneeze. She closed her eyes when she heard, "heh-shewww! ha-ikshewww!" Ashley could tell it was one of Katie's long, dramatic sneezes and when she opened her eyes she saw Katie rubbing her small, red nose.

"Ha! yes! I won!" Ashley shouted with joy. Somehow the sneeze went away completely and even though if she sneezed now it wouldn't matter, it made Ashley look even better by not having to sneeze at all.

"Ha-shewww! Heh-shewww!" Katie sneezed again and buried her small nostrils into a handkercheif and blew her nose.

"Ok, you won fair and square." Nicole exclaimed while madly rubbing her nose.

"You bet I did!" Shouted Ashley.

"Heh-sheww!" Katie sneezed again and cursed her small nose under her breath.

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I really enjoyed reading this :D Got to love girls getting into sneeze competitions!

If you want constructive criticism, I would say spend a little more time describing what the sneeze feels like for the sneezer as its building - it builds up a sense of anticipation in the reader (at least, it does for me ;))

Look forwards to reading more of your work.

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Part 2

NIcole couldn't help but keep sneezing the rest of the night after the contest. She kept feeling the constant tickling in her sinuses and she wasn't sneezing her cute, girly sneezes that she usually sneezed. She was sneezing loud, really loud in front of her friends and she couldn't help it. She didn't really like sneezing in front of them or sneezing in front of anybody but she just couldn't help it.

"I'm getting tired we should go to bed soon." Katie said.

"Me too." Said Ashley when she gave a loud yawn. "What about you Nicole?"

"I don't know I guess I'm......" Nicole felt that itch return in her nose and she couldn't stop it, "HEH-ITCHOO! AH-KITCHOOO! HEH-ATCHOO! HA-A-HECHOO!"

"Bless you." Katie said.

"You have been super sneezy ever since we had that sneeze contest." Ashley noticed.

"yeah." Nicole replied. NIcole knew that she never got this sneezy so it either meant that she had come down with a cold, or her pollen allergies were acting up again.

Katie said, "I think I'm going to go to......." when she was intruppted by Nicole's nose.

"HEP-CHOO! HA-ITCHOO! HEH, HEH-ITCHOO! ICHEWWWW! HA-ATCHOOO!" Nicole sneeze almost burst her eardrums, that's how loud and powerful her sneezes were.

"OMG! Bless your sneezy nose!" Ashley said.

"i guess I won't go to bed because I will never go to sleep hearing those loud sneezes!" Stated Katie.

Nicole felt that tickling nose return again. That darn tickle would not go away! She didn't want to sneeze in front of the other two again because that would be embarissing so when they turned their heads she decided to try and stifle.

"hep-NGGXTCH!" She completly failed the stifle. But that was not the worst part of that sneeze. She felt a little jolt of pain around her chest area.

"Bless you again!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Oh I think that sneeze kind of hurt me." Nicole said.

"Like a pain type of hurt?" Ashely asked.

"Yeah I'm going to go to the bathroom and blow my nose." Nicole exclaimed. However, when she stood up she right away sat back own because she felt evenmore pain than when she was sitting down.

"Ow! Crap!" Nicole said disgusted, "It really hurts when I stand up in my chest area."

"So did it just start hurting you when you sneezed?" Katie asked.

"Yeah, I thinks it hurts because I tied stifling it." Nicole answered.

"Ok, let me go upstairs and go get my laptop to see what might be hurting you and how I can help." Ashley said and went up the stairs.

Nicole layed down on the couch when Katie came up to her and said, "I'm sorry, it's my fault you are sneezing. Even though I didn't win the contest I still cheated."

"huh? What do you mean?" Nicole asked.

"Well, I really wanted to win that contest because I am super competitive and I hate being called a sneezy nose. I knew you would win the competition so when I went to go get the feathers, i kind of sprinkled some pollen on it."

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Guest bondman24

I really like where this is going. I'm not sure I like when sneezing gets to the point of causing physical pain for someone, but that's just me.

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Sorry I didn't mean to make it seem like she's in that much pain, I just needed to do that for my story line.

Personally, I don't really like that either

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Ohhh man, this fic is soooo fetishy, with the sleepovers and the feathers and the contest and the little hint of bitchiness and the pollen. I love itchiness and the kind of pre-sneeze tension thing so the tickliness and the 'who's gonna sneeze first thing?' really appealed to me.

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Part 3

"You did what?!" Nicole snapped.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry." Katie said sorrowfully.

"Wow! I have never heard of that effect of a stifled sneeze before." Ashley said when she came back downstairs with her laptop.

"Yeah," Nicole sniffed, "I hope I won't have to sneeze again because I think I'll explode!"

"It says here it might be something to do with a rib." Ashley said.

"That seems right." Nicole replied.

Just then Katie felt a tickle in her nose. She tried sniffing but that only made it worse. She didn't want to sneeze now because of what she did to Nicole and they only had the contest like an hour ago. Katie placed a finger under her nose and that seemed to do the trick. However, the sneezy tickle came back as soon as she took the finger of the bottom of her nose and she had no time to react. "HE-SHEWWW! HAH-ISHEWWW! HE-ISHEWWW!" Katie became more and more desperate after each sneeze. "HE-ASHEWWW! ISHEWW! KASHEWWW! ISHEWWW!" Katie felt the tickle again but she didn't want to keep embarrassing herself so she rubbed her nose until the tickle stopped.

"That was impressive! I have never heard such huge sneezes from a girl with as small of a nose as yours.

"Um, thanks." Katie shrugged. She wanted to go crawl in a hole right now.

"Does your rib still hurt Nicole?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, kind of." Replied Nicole. Nicole felt a small tickle in the back of her nose but she rubbed her nose and made it go away. She was successful for now but she knew it would be back.

"Well I'm going to use the restroom." Announced Ashley.

"Yeah, thanks for telling us." Replied Katie sarcastically.

"Whatever." Ashley said, scratching her nose as she walked away.

Nicole felt that itch return to her nose that she had before. She tried rubbing her nose and wrinkling it but neither helped. She knew she was probably gonna have to let this one out, however she was just only wanted a single and not a big, old, messy fit. She pushed the tip of her nose towards her face in a last second desperation attempt but it failed and the itch grew way to strong to keep in her nose. "HE-CHEW!" Nicole sneezed into cupped hands and bent over at her waist. She sighed as she payed back down.

"Bless you." Katie said.

"Thanks." Replied Nicole. She knew Katie was forced to say bless you because it was her fault she was sneezing. Just then the sneeziey itch returned to Nicole's nose. She rubbed her nose madly back and forth but it wasn't working. She tried mentally stopping the sneeze but it was to no avail. She brought her hands close to her face and prepared for a sneeze. "Heh, heh...." Nicole felt a warm finger be placed right underneath her nose and stopped the sneeze. She opened her eyes and saw it was Katie's finger, "Thanks Katie!" Nicole said happily.

"Yeah no problem, it was my fault you got so sneezy and hurt yourself in the first place." Said Katie.

"Nah, I'm not hurt, I lied about that. It was my plan all along. You see, I saw you dump some pollen into the feathers so I decided to get you back by prentending I was hurt when I stifled the sneeze. It actually did hurt me a bit at first, and that's how I came up with the idea."

"And to think I put my finger under your nose for you!" Katie replied jokingly.

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