Lady Allergies

[thegreatpretender]

This is my first try at a Sneezing story using a characters of my own. Please tell me what you think of him and his condition. Please and Thank you.

“Heh… heh…” Melvin pressed his finger under his nose as hard as he could trying to fight off the impending sneeze. He waited a moment, fighting against it. It backed off to his relief and he sniffed, rubbing his sleeve against his reddening nose. He couldn’t take much more of this.

Being allergic to pretty much all cosmetics and perfumes made it hard getting close to a lady without his nose going crazy on him or his eyes watering. As a matter of fact he had all kinds of allergies. So why was he at a café with a bunch of women who were wearing far too much perfume and listening to poetry that made people want to slit their wrists? Because his “buddies” know he has the awful ability to attract women to him, wanting to coddle him and make him feel better all the while making him worse. Those said buddies were sitting next to the pretty women at their table, trying to get the ladies attention away from him and onto them. Why couldn’t he just go home now that they found the girls?

Melvin sniffed again and regretted it. He got another whiff of the perfume from the young lady next to him and now the tickle was back. “heh…heh!” He quickly pressed his hand to his nose and tried to fight it again. As his breathing built up with the sneeze, he fumbled around for his jacket pocket to pull out his handkerchief. Once he felt it he whipped it out and pressed it to his nose just in time. The feeling had prickled and teased his poor nose and he couldn’t fight it anymore.

“Ehhh... EhhIHShhhh! huh-EHHShuhhhh! Hehhshisuuu!” Melvin sneezed into his handkerchief and rubbed at his nose, not willing to blow his nose in front of everyone.

“Bless you! Oh, you poor thing!” The lady cooed. She rubbed at his back and the other ladies turned towards him.

“Are you getting sick?” Another asked reaching across and touching his cheek in concern. Melvin felt his face heat up at the attention and tried not to make too much of a scene. But he needed to sneeze again.

“Heh-ESHhioo! Hehhshisuu! Hehishhh! Heh-!” The last sneeze caught in his nose. ‘No! Please don’t get stuck!’ He pleaded silently, ‘Do anything! Make anything happen! Just please don’t let it be stuck!’

It was stuck. As poor Melvin struggled with the sneeze building in his nose, the women gathered around him, petting his hair and touching his person trying to soothe him. His nostrils flared and his eyes watered from the irritation of his allergies and from the sheer will of trying to get the sneeze out of his nose. The perfumes mixing around him didn’t push the sneeze out of him any faster like he would have hoped. Instead, they played with him, gently feathering over that one spot in the back of his nose.

“Heh… Heh!” Melvin held up his handkerchief in preparation of the sneeze. His eyes slowly closed and his nose quivered. The woman next to him found his concentration utterly adorable and playfully taped her finger to the tip of his nose.

Melvin was caught off by it, but it was all the push he needed to get out his sneeze.

“HEHHSHIOO!” The sneeze bent him forward and he nearly hit his head against the table. The girls gave him a chorus of bless yous and proceeded to try to coddle him. He laid his head down on the table, sniffing and miserable. ‘I just wanna go home…’

[Lucian]

I really liked this story. The character is very interesting and so is his condition. It's a good way to tie in sneezing and care-taking at the same time. I'd definitely like to see this character again. Thanks for sharing and an excellent first try!

Ah! I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!!

[SterlingSilver]

Awwwwww~! SO CUTE! I'd be doing the same thing to him, if I was one of those women xD. Nice plot set up and premise. Hope to see more from you~!

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Ciuty80]

very cute and promising!

please more and happy bday! ^^

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Awwww, very cute story. Poor guy.

And ^^

[RoyalFlush]

LoL! That was super cute. (fave line: "I just wanna go home".") I could see each of the little things you were desrcibing and that last line just cracked me up. I love it.

I will say this though...i wish stuff like that happend in real life. People randomly getting cooey over a sneeze. I don't think it would happen...but I really wish it did. That would be so wonderful Ooooo!!! Nonetheless, great short story. Too short in fact. I require more please. Gimmie. Hahaha I'm joking. If you do write more like this...please share.

As for you first fic with your own character I have to say I like it. I don't really know Melvin though. What does he look like? How does he act generally. It was a very short story so i understand why you wouldn't have time to despribe him. I think is condition is one that many people have. Perfume is terrible for people with sensitive noses....like myself.

I trully love that little story. Short, sweet, to the point and filled with pleasure. Lovely. Again, I will say, please write more at your leizure. (is that how you spell leizure? Lol oh well. )

[Akahana]

Happy Birthday!!! This was so cute~ <3333333

[pinknose]

Mmmmm. I like this A LOT! It's an absolutely adorable concept that I hope you keep going with!

[Katsuo]

Awesome story, i usually don't like male sneezes, but you made them really cute. Love it, please contiue

[happybunny]

oh my goodness! what a great start! Please update when you can, i love this!!