The Perfect Date (M/F)

[Ciel]

This is my first attempt to write something after reading numerous stories. I've only written an introduction, so please tell me how I can improve or what I can add in to make it more interesting? Tell me if it's not good enough.

The Perfect Date

by calliecat23

Should he wear a suit? But then he would have to wear his black shoes, which were in need of polishing and the shoe polish was annoyingly nowhere to be seen. Darren jerked forward as he sneezed for the hundredth time, stifling by. "Heh'nxgt! Heh'nxgt!" His head was pounding and his throat felt like sandpaper.

"Ewww." announced his younger sister Joyce passing by his room, who was only 12, 5 years younger than him.

“Id is so dnot by fault,” Darren retorted, his voice thick with congestion. “Heh'nxgt! Heh'nxgt! Heh-eshoo!” He let the last sneeze explode freely. Promptly, he took out his checkered handkerchief, found a dry spot and blew his nose, producing a rich gurgling sound. This was followed by a few chesty coughs.

Clamping his streaming nose with a tissue, he surveyed his room for something more suitable. A jacket with a tie?

"Heh-ESSHOO!" Groaning, he blew his nose furiously, filling the soggy tissue with warm mucus. He reached for another kleenex from the tissue box, and blew his nose more. "Heh'nxgt! Heh'nxgt! Heh-eshoo! Heh-ESSHOO! Eh-t'CHOO! Heh-iSSHHOOO!" The sneezes were getting more desperate and rapid. Darren snatched a wad of tissues and blew powerfully. The irritating tickle in his nose died down a little, and he gave his now stuffy nose a loud honk for good measure before peering over his variety of ties. There was a striped one, a dotted one, one with tiny pictures of pianos on it; and even one with porcupines. He chose the piano one (which tended to impress girls) and decided to wear a nice light blue fleece jacket to go with it.

Okay. So he was done now. All he had to do was to find out a way to cure a cold within half an hour. He had a feeling that Kayla did not like sniffling guys, no matter how nice his tie was. Stifling a few sneezes on the way, he headed for the kitchen to get something for his nasty cold.

[sneasons greetings]

Fantastic start! Continue?

[meepsy]

This is cute! I'd def like to see it continue!

[sneezychick93]

so cute! Can't wait to read more. Please continue!

[VividBubbles!]

Awwwwwww. This is so cute! But not in a bad way. Though, I don't really get how cute can be bad unless under certain circumstances and..... yeah, okay, I'm done with that line of babbling. Anyway, I think that this story will be great if you continue it. I can totally see Darren go out with Kayla? and they go to a restaurant and then they go for a romantic walk but it's cold outside and Darren starts to shiver really hard and starts to get worse and tries to hide it but Kayla? notices and is all like "awwwww" and she takes him to her place and..... well I should probably stop now. Oh, I just pushed my idea down your throat, didn't I? Sorry, I'm just in a babbly mood today and I'm sure you've already got this all figured out already. Oh, and I see that you've pretty much almost mastered the element of sneeze spelling (I only say almost because there are some people on here that have been here for years and have perfected it). Great for you! Anyway, I really hope you continue this. It is really good. Update soon!

BYE!

[Ciel]

Sorry that I haven't updated this for four months xD I kind of forgot, but then I was browsing through the Stories when I found something vaguely familiar, then I remembered it was the story I wrote some time ago! So I'm giving it a shot again, tell me what you don't like and I'll see what i can do.

In case you're wondering, Kayla is NOT his girlfriend. Not officially, at least. Umm. Well... you'll see.

Part 2

They had scheduled to meet at the cafe at two, just to talk, over a drink. Kayla checked her phone for the millionth time. It was two minutes past two, which meant Darren was late. Of course, she wasn't trying to nit-pick, but in all their "dates" (as she secretly considered them), he had never been late. He was always the one waiting for her.

She sipped some ice cold water and restrained herself from checking her phone again.

They'd met in the little cafe near the college. She was sick and she knew she looked awful - her nose was pink, her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks tinted with fever. Thick mucus constantly streamed from her raw nostrils, so she had to keep dabbing and wiping her nose. Not to mention her explosive sneezes that sprayed the immediate vicinity with glistening wet spray.

"Hih...ih... ahh... HAH'ESHHOO! Heh'ISHHHOO! Heh-CHUUH! E'Shhhooo!" Kayla coughed deeply, the phlegm rattling in her chest. She sniffed to keep the overflowing mucus in check, wincing at the loud squelching sound it made as she grabbed a napkin to blow her nose. She blew heartily and loudly into the napkin, knowing that soft blows would prove futile in clearing her congestion.

"Hey." A guy around her age came up. "Can I sit here? The other tables are full."

"Sure." And she was immediately mortified at how croaky she sounded. She raised the napkin to her nose and blew hard again, muffling two or three sneezes in the process.

"That's some cold you've got there, huh?"

"That would be - sniff - putting it mildly." Kayla exploded into another sneezy bout. "Heh-ISHHOO! Heh'tchoo! Huh'Eshhooo!" But she wasn't done yet, she could still feel a gigantic sneeze coming on -

"Here. You seem to need this."

A checked handkerchief.

Kayla held the handkerchief firmly to her nose -"Ehhh-ARAAASHHHHOOOO!" The handkerchief was soft and gentle against her rubbed-raw nose. She blew gently in order not to ruin it. She couldn't help thinking that nobody had ever, ever offered her their own handkerchief, for her to blow her excessive gunky green snot in. No one.

Yes, since that encounter they had gotten to know each other, exchanged some emails, met up somewhere to have lunch. And so far neither of them seemed to admit that they might be a little fond of each other. But Kayla knew better.

Darren spotted Kayla waiting at a table and hurried over. "I'm so sorry, Kayla. I was caught up in something, and I lost track of time." He sniffed and rubbed his nose discreetly before sitting down opposite to her.

Kayla smiled at him. "I'm glad you're here! We have so much to talk about - over hot chocolate?"

"Yep, hot chocolate sounds good." Despite blowing his nose thoroughly before coming, his voice still sounded rather nasal. He hoped she wouldn't notice. While she was placing their orders to a waiter, he stifled a sneeze in his elbow. "Hah'chmpf!" Great. Now his nose was running again. He snuffled quietly, but there was a desperate flaring tickle inside his nose. He pressed a knuckle against it, trying to curb the irritation and prevent himself from sneezing.

Kayla was chatting away. "You know what - last week I discovered that I'm allergic to cats!" She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I learnt it the hard way. I nearly died after my friend came over with her two cats, I was sneezing non-stop!"

Oh, why did they have to talk about sneezing now? The tickle in his nose magnified, and there was another tickle in his sore throat. He took a sip of water. That was a big mistake. The cold liquid did little to soothe his throat, and instead he exploded into a coughing fit. Naturally, he began to sneeze as well - horribly loud, wet sneezes. "Heh...Heh-eshoo! Heh-ESSHOO! - cough cough cough - Heh-iSSHHOOO! Hah-IAASHOOO!"

He felt Kayla staring at him, and he didn't blame her. "Eh-t'CHOO! Huh-eh'CHUUHHH!" He jerked forward with these sneezes so that he was nearly bent over. Coughing weakly, he blew his nose quickly with the remaining kleenex in his pocket. That proved insufficient. Placing the glistening balled-up kleenex on the table, he retrieved a crisp new handkerchief and blew his nose, trying to look as nonchalant as possible as he cleared his sinuses.

"Darren! You're sick!" pouted Kayla. "You should have told me!" Nevertheless, she put her hand on his forehead. "I think you have a fever. Really! You should take a rest at home. We'll reschedule this, okay?"

Darren felt like a little kid again. "It's not a- but- oh well. Okay." Nursing his streaming nose with his now-soggy handkerchief, he groped some money from his wallet and handed it to her. "For the drinks - oh, I'm so sorry Kayla for ruining our meet-up..." He gave a liquidy sniff. "I'll wait -"

"-Nope, you'll go home first." She said playfully. "I will actually call in fifteen minutes to check..." She tried to sound stern, but actually giggled. "Oh, I sound like a nurse! But seriously, get better soon."

After Darren's sickly self had dragged himself out the cafe, Kayla smiled, and secretly she pocketed the slippery, glistening, mucus-filled soggy kleenex.

[VividBubbles!]

Awwww! So sweet! Are you going to continue? I hoe so!

BYE!

[42686]

Gah! how did i miss this?! what a cute story!

[graydarkness]

AWWWWWW!! I absolutely love this story so far! Darren's sneezes are delish. I hope you continue updating, it's great so far

[sneasons greetings]

I agree! More would be awesome.

[Ezmac_45]

Love this story! The description is really amazing