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Sneeze-related Jokes?


Stimuli

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So, here's the story; I was browsing around on twitter, when randomly seeing the tweet "Why do most fish live in salty water? Because they'd sneeze in peppery water" (worst joke in a long time, but it made me think of the possible jokes to make)

So, do you have any jokes in store? biggrin.png (Sorry if it was on the wrong board, I am still trying to figure out exactly where to place this haha)

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They say that when America sneezes, Britain catches a cold

Hence the expression, God Bless America.........

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Confucious say: Man who sneezes without hankerchief must take matters into his own hands.....

Q: Why did the computer sneeze?

A: Because it caught a virus!

And my favourite expression when we have one of those days in our house when everyone seems to be sneezing: 'Bless this house and all who sneeze herein'. :)

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The old Facebook one:

He: I love you sooooo much! I think I would die without you... I would swim across the Atlantic for you. I would...

She: *sneezes*

He: You're okay?

She: Yeah, I'm just allergic to bulls**t.

And one from my Country:

For successful sexual relationship between a mouse and an elephant mouse shouldn't have any complexes and elephant shouldn't have hayfever.

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This is pretty bad, it was the "in" knock knock joke when I was younger.

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2 : Who's there?

Person 1: AAhhhcch

Person 2: AAhhhcch who?

Person 1: BLESS YOU!

blush.png Guess what?! If you google or search sneeze jokes then there's one that a lot of people have posted places about a guy/ blond girl on an aeroplane but it's a bit adult so I thought I'd better not risk it. LOOK IT UP! Plus here's a link for Dane Cook ( I've never heard of him) doing some comedy on sneezing. :D

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Oh i got 1. I got this 1 from deleted scenes from "the wrestling road diaries" when colt cabana and daniel bryan were reading jokes off of banana flavored laffy taffys lol

one of the jokes was "what can you throw but can't catch?" and the answer was "A Party"

and then a few seconds later Colt was like "oh i got one..what can you catch but not throw?"

A cold. xP

I loved that 1 xD

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  • 9 months later...

This is a joke from the back of the calendar today. I had never heard/read it before :)

"

Before they signed the contract, the landlord asked the future tenant:

- I have a question: do you own a radio?

- No.

- Do you play the piano or some other instrument?

- No.

- Do you sing?

- No, and if I have to sneeze, I lock myself into the closet and close the door behind me.

"

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This is a joke from the back of the calendar today. I had never heard/read it before smile.png

"

Before they signed the contract, the landlord asked the future tenant:

- I have a question: do you own a radio?

- No.

- Do you play the piano or some other instrument?

- No.

- Do you sing?

- No, and if I have to sneeze, I lock myself into the closet and close the door behind me.

"

:lmfao: For some reason I thought that one was hilarious!!! :lol:

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This is pretty bad, it was the "in" knock knock joke when I was younger.

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2 : Who's there?

Person 1: AAhhhcch

Person 2: AAhhhcch who?

Person 1: BLESS YOU!

You just reminded me of something...

When I was a kid and flying on airplanes, there was this radio channel for kids that was about a bunch of kids going on an adventure with Ronald McDonald (McDonald's sponsored the in-flight kid's meals), and at one point, Ronald is telling a bunch of knock-knock jokes, including that one. But then he goes a bizarre step further...

"Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

"Hatch."

"Hatch who?"

"I didn't know you had a cold too."

This is then followed by a honking noise. Strange stuff, but I wasn't complaining.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I stumbled across this (not too funny) joke today:

The circus director looks at the demolished circus tent, yelling: "Damn the person who gave the elephant sneezing powder!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

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