My Secret is Out...Help!

[GhostLily342]

The other day, I spent the night at my girlfriend's place. That morning I woke up and immediately started showering/shaving/getting ready for work. When I emerged from the bathroom, my girlfriend was holding my phone and carried a puzzled look on her face. She then asked me, "Hey, why do you have pictures of girls sneezing on your phone?"

Crap

Make no mistake, I'm a champion at lying and always have been, but I quickly realized that there was no way I could lie my way out of this one. So I told her the truth.

"Well, um...if you want to know the truth, it's a fetish of mine."

The next part was unexpected--she laughed. Seriously. She thought that the idea of a sneeze fetish was one of the funniest things she had ever heard. She repeatedly told me to quit joking and tell her what was really going on.

After I assured her that this truly was the case, her attitude changed from funny to confused, and finally to hurt. She was under the impression that because of the sneeze fetish I wouldn't think she was attractive or sexy anymore unless she engaged in something fetish-related, which isn't true in the slightest.

We're ok now, but when it comes to how I should deal with this from now on, I'm clueless. Has anyone else ever been "outed" by your significant other? What did you do about it? Any suggestions as to what I should do?

[alias]

Yikes, I can just imagine how my stomach would drop if something like that happened to me.

I don't know your girlfriend or how she feels, but being a female myself, I would imagine it's not the fetish that bothers her. I think she is more hurt by the fact that you have other girls on your phone in general, sneezing or not. Anytime a guy wants to look at other girls, the girlfriend is always put in an awkward spot, and that can make her feel self-conscious and under-appreciated. It would be similar to her finding your phone filled with girls in bikinis. Granted, not all girls have a problem with this kind of thing. Some don't care, others care a whole lot. It just depends on the girl.

I hope I don't sound accusatory, because I'm not saying you have done anything bad or wrong! Just trying to offer some perspective.

Good luck with it all!

[Anonymouse]

What bothers me about this story is that she was looking at your phone while you were in the shower. I don't know about you guys personally, but generally I feel like looking at someone else's phone while they're not in the room is snooping.

My only suggestion is to reassure her, either verbally or otherwise, that you're still attracted to her whether she's sneezing or not. Alias brings up a good point that she might be upset that you have pictures of other girls sneezing on your phone, but I know some guys in relationships still look at porn and their girlfriends are okay with it. She might not be that kind of girl, but if she is, looking at pictures of other girls sneezing is no different than looking at porn for you.

[ScorpionPrincess]

I think you did the right thing. It was an awkward situation for both parties- she was looking at your phone when you weren't around, and you had the pictures on your phone. I agree with Centurion, I don't think your girlfriend was upset about the fetish, more so that they were girls in general. Just make it clear to her that it you still find her beautiful/sexy/hot regardless, and that she doesn't have to participate in the fetish if she doesn't want to. Just so she knows that either way the fetish doesn't and won't change your feelings about her.