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Pineapples Don't Have Sleeves!

Vongola Undicesimo

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Okay, about a week ago I took the New York State 8th Grade English test. Most of it was the usual stuff: boring reading, boring questions, boring essays. But then........there was *ahem* this story. In The Hare and the Pineapple a pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The moose thinks the pineapple has a trick up its sleeve and will win, and the crow agrees. However, the owl says that pineapples don't have sleeves. So the race starts. The hare wins without the pineapple ever leaving the starting line. The animals eat the pineapple. The end.

"Moral: pineapples don't have sleeves."

............................................THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF STORY WAS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, it gets better. Much. Better. After we read the passage, we had to answer questions about it. For example:

"The animals ate the pineapple because they were

A) Hungry

B) Sad

C) Annoyed

D) Happy"

Or something like that anyway. Though the question we argued about like mad people for the entire week was the next question. Who was the wisest animal? The moose, who was talking in smart-sounding sentences about how the pineapple wo was going to trick them? The hare, who didn't have any lines? The owl, who was the first to say pineapples dont have sleeves? Or the crow, who simply agreed with the moose. Who do you think it was?

Thankfully, New York State realized how stupid they were and announced that none of the questions about this story would count towards our scores. It's become like state-wide news or something. Pfft, idiot test makers...

Just to let you know the impact of this event, "pineapples don't have sleeves" has become a meme. Not kidding. A meme.

I almost wish that the questions counted just so I could see what the right answer was.

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Well, clearly the hare was the wisest animal. He knew he could win the race, without a question, because pineapples don't have legs either. Clearly. smartass.gif

As for the people who wrote those test questions? They must have needed some extra points to complete the test grading, so threw in a stupid story.

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My son just took the same test and was telling us about the story. All I could think the whole time was, that is the stupidest story I've ever heard. I mean, really?? Who's bright idea was that one?

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I would say the owl is the wisest animal, since he knew that pineapples do not have sleeves. Whoever had the bright idea to include that story on the test needs a few more brain cells, just saying ;)

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A meme is something that happens when something on the internet (a video, a picture, etc.) becomes really popular, generally quickly. It gets parodied, copied, and used in almost every way you could think of.

By the way, I have learned that a B and then a ) make a smiley emoticon with shades. I shall remember that for the future.

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This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard about standardized testing. XD And so I made this. Art Student Owl FTW.


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Hahaha, I like this. laughing.gif It's completely ridiculous, and not suitable for an official test of course, but still amusing. Personally I think the animals ate the pineapple because they were annoyed. I mean, wouldn't you, if given the chance? Seems most of the US is pissed at this poor pineapple. As for the wisest animal...

- Not the hare; he agreed to a race with a pineapple, after all.

- Not the owl; he's just a sarcastic dick.

So that leaves the crow and the moose, right? I don't think so. Now that I've actually read the story both the crow and moose's statements were proved wrong. The hare's wasn't. He was correct with everything he said, so that's where my vote goes. Hmmm, maybe I'm looking too far into this? tongue.png

And if we're talking memes, the author of this story must be sitting with this face just now:


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Clearly the pineapple is the wisest animal. We re being misdirected away from the fact that it is the pineapple who initiates the action by challenging the hare. So it's a talking pineapple. Obviously genetically modified somehow [oh. and that means it must be an animal, not just a wordless fruit]. Animals are wiser than men, so they realise the importance of preserving the selfish gene [which is why cows, for example, want to be eaten, and hate vegetarians].

The pineapple wants to be eaten , and realises that with his ability to speak but not wear sleeves, this is the best way to get eaten so that everyone will acquire a taste for pineapples and grow more of them, until ultimately they achieve world domination.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...

Hahaha! I know this is late, but I love this! How was the pineapple able to challenge the hare in the first place? He also doesn't have a mouth ...

Looking at it from a teaching aspect, I do think it's a great question because it allows for creativity and reasoning, however, it is something funny to do as a Friday activity and has no business being on a standardized test.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This is the most awesomest test question I have EVAR seen!!! I wish it was on my English honors test last year, do you know how hard the class would have died laughung?! It would have been AMAZING!!! XD

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