Barbie loses control

[Bgrace27]

So this is my second story, I am open to ideas about it.

Character Description:

Juliette Marie Collins: Juliette is what people consider a Barbie. She is about 5'7" has perfectly waved blond hair that looks great straightened or curled. Her eyes a bright and blue, yet frequently red. Has horrible allergies to pollen, dust, cats, perfume, cologne, dogs, feathers, and any other scent.

Lily Anne Jenson: Lily is a carbon copy of Juliette without the allergies and has chestnut hair instead of blond. People call them The Twins.

Juliette is someone most girls dream of being, and she knows it too. She is what most people call "perfect." She gets straight A's in everything, is absolutely beautiful, has the best boyfriend of 3 years Michael, they are so cute together, and anything else you can imagine. This perfect girl harbors a sect that only a very few people know. I'm Lily, and this is the story of my best friend.

I met Juliette at the start of first grade. We were just staring soccer season and it was both of our first years. She was so small when i met her. She was the littlest girl on the team. When i first saw her, her hair was in braids down her back and she was running around the soccer field. Little did i know what was going to come next. This was the first time I experienced her allergies. She sat down on the bench and her eyes were all red and kinda watery. I had no idea why, but I wanted to know and I started to talk to her.

"Hi," I said shyly "my name is Lily."

"Hi!" she said excitedly "my name is Juliette.*sniff*"

"Are you sick? Why are you sniffing?"

"Oh *sniff* its allergies, I h...h...have them hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU really bad."

and that is how we met.

so heres these start. only a few sneezes. should i continue?

[ThePokeFan599]

Yes, please do

[mysterysneeze]

I agree with him. You have two great characters, and the beginning of this is pretty good . It is short, and there is a plot here, so I say go for it ^^

[NoV]

Oh yes, please continue You have set up the characters perfectly, and we need more female fics on this board in my opinion

[sneasons greetings]

Please continue?

[Bgrace27]

hi guys, sorry for the long delay I'm super busy. so i have to let stuff calm down. but then i will update. i promise.

[Pearlised]

Update when you are ready, it is fantastic!! can't wait!

[Bgrace27]

Years after we had met I learned to fall in love with Juliette's allergies. She would often spend the night at my house even though we had 3 cats and 2 dogs. She didn't mind. Yes she hated her allergies and more times than not our mornings would start like this.

"morning l-l-l-l-lily *SNIFFFF* hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU"

"Morning sneezy."

"dodt bake fud of be.hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU hepschu hepschu hepschu HEPCHU "

"I'm sorry... but it is funny."

I loved her sneezes. something about them just made me. jump for joy. Yet as we got older Juliette started to hide her allergies. She would take medicine so that they wouldn't bother her as much. I don't know why but i missed the constant sneezing. I always loved when she stayed over because i got to hear her sneeze so many times and i was just purely wonderful.

so I'm kind of lost for ideas if anyone has an suggestions I'm open!

[kushamizuki]

if i were you i would devlop 1) how Juliette feels about her allergies 2) how Lilly feel about Julliet's allergys 3) how this afects the relationship between the two. Since you'v already established that lilly likes to watch Julliete sneeze the next thing to do is deel with how jullit feels about sneezing and then work from there

[NoV]

Thanks for posting the new part

If you want a suggestion, think about the scenario the characters are in - is Juliette embarrassed about sneezing so much, does she secretly enjoy sneezing? Any details like these you can add will only make it better