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Polyamory


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My boyfriend C and I have been discussing this recently. We have been in polyamorous relationships in the past, each with the two of us and another girl. While there were definitely enjoyable things, neither of the girls was a good fit for us.

We were discussing the idea of trying a triad relationship again, and C mentioned that he thought any girl we invited into our relationship should have the fetish.

This led to a discussion, the result of which was...C believes, and I see his point and agree, that our fetish makes us better candidates for polyamorous relationships.

Before I go any further, I want to define polyamory as I am using the term. Debating the definition, which may happen, isn't the point of this thread :\

I consider polyamory to be a relationship between more than two consenting adults, wherein all parties know about all others. I actually go farther and specify that in the kind of polyamorous relationship we are seeking, each person is involved with each other--it's not, him with me, and him with another girl...the other girl and I would be romantic as well.

Now, C submits that because we all share what is, for many of us, a very deeply ingrained interest, we can bond very deeply with one another over that shared interest alone. I know there are many people who would consider anyone who would accept their fetish (as long as they treated them fairly decently other than that as well), to be the perfect partner...never mind someone who indulged them in it, or shared it.

I have to admit, the idea of another woman with us who shared the fetish is very, very appealing. In any kind of a long term relationship, I'd want to be open about this interest, but I'm very good at worrying, and feeling awkward, even when I logically know I shouldn't. C basically has the fetish vicariously now...I never feel awkward around him. But part of me knows that even if she was cool with it, if we were with a girl who didn't have the fetish, it would be hard for me to relax and just enjoy it without worrying that she would think I was nuts.

Coming back to my point, what I want to know is...what do you think about polyamory? Do you think the fetish, either sharing it or being indulged in it, creates deeper bonds than other relationships might have? Does that mean we have a propensity toward polyamory?

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One thing I did notice after finding this community and "coming out" to my husband was that I was a much more open person. I've always been kind of a flirt, but the fetish and being open about it opened my mind to so many other ideas about relationships. I've formed a few very loving relationships in this community, so I think that you are probably right in your thoughts. Perhaps having a fetish like this makes us more accepting of others and their quirks? Not sure exactly why. But, I do believe this fetish leads to close bonding with others. Anyway, not sure if this really answers the question. :P

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