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Natto

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Hey guys! This is a fic I wrote for Animeeze as part of an exchange. It’s not the type of thing I’d normally write, but he requested it and I thought it’d be fun to expand my horizons a little…that is, writing about female sneezing, and boobs. This is a Pokemon fic, about a new Team Rocket recruit named Kelly, who Jessie is jealous of, and wishes to sabotage by making her sneeze. Animeeze, I hope this suits your taste! I hope that other people will enjoy it, too.

~`~`~

When Jessie found out that there was to be a new Team Rocket recruit, she tried not to worry too much. After all, her own team was sort of a fringe thing—what they did wasn't exactly what Team Rocket as an institution did. Team Rocket, as an institution, tended to have complicated plans that Jessie and her teammates were never privy to. Jessie and her teammates were, and are, solely employed to capture rare Pokemon, particularly Pikachu. The new recruit, lauded as she was for her strategic skills, would probably be shuffled off to the head office, far away from fieldwork, and far away from Jessie and James' strange little side operation.

This doesn't happen. Two days after Jessie first hears about the new recruit, she is deposited at the mouth of the dank, moldy cave that Jessie, James, and Meowth are currently calling home. A bodyguard with a black Team Rocket uniform and a pair of sunglasses that obscure his eyes mumbles a quick explanation that Jessie doesn't actually hear, mounts a Pidgeot, and takes off, leaving Team Rocket and the new recruit choking on a cloud of dust. The new girl's aquiline nose twitches, and she lets out a high-pitched “hyii-CHOO!” The sneeze makes her take a huge gulp of air, which calls attention to her poorly covered chest. Her full, round breasts heave with the sneeze, and when she finishes she sniffles, quietly. James raises an eyebrow, slightly put off, then resumes drooling over her.

“Oh…oh my. Excuse me. Hi!” The new recruit waves, calling attention to her dark pink, well-filed finger nails. “It’s such an honor to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you from the Team Rocket training team, and I’m just so excited to be working with the renowned Jessie and James!” She smiles, her white teeth flashing. Jessie rolls her eyes. They aren’t renowned for much of anything, except screwing up. “My name is Kelly Mitchell!” she squeaks. “You’re Jessie, and you’re James—and you must be Meowth!” She giggles. “Try not to get too close to my face, okay Meowth? I’m allergic to cats, and I get sooo sneezy when they get in my face.” Jessie rolls her eyes again. Why the hell would they assign this bimbo to their team when she’s allergic to one of their principle members?

And Kelly is a bimbo. From her waist-length, curly blonde hair, to her bright blue eyes shrouded by dark lashes slick with mascara, to her impractical pink high heels to her white mini skirt that barely covers her ass and her ridiculous low-cut tank top, this woman just screams slut. And James is looking at her! He isn’t being obvious about it, but Jessie knows the subtle hints of attraction that James displays. Leaning in closer, blinking too rapidly, laughing at things she says that aren’t funny—it paints a clear portrait of a man stricken by lust. Jessie isn’t exactly in love with James, but he does, in a sense, belong to her. Jessie doesn’t appreciate the attention he’s paying this girl.

“Welcome aboard, Kelly,” snarls Jessie, arms crossed and staring at a Zubat hanging from a stalactite. “You might not know it yet, but being on Team Rocket isn’t all fun and games. It’s a lot of hard work with not a lot of results. You may end up sleeping in a cave for three months and having to go for days without a meal. You don’t get paid until you steal a Pokemon, and that’s a lot harder than it looks. It’s dirty, grueling, and thankless work…I’m not sure a girl like you would be up for it.”

“Thanks for worrying about me, but I think I can handle it!” she chirps. “Actually, I’m somewhat of an adventurer. My dad and I climbed Mt. Moon last spring. We spent a lot of time sleeping in caves. I’m not afraid to get dirty!” She giggles, willowy fingers fanning over her rosebud mouth. This earns a snort of disdain from Jessie, and a snicker from Meowth. “I mean dirt, silly, actual dirt! Anyway, I’m used to it. I also know a lot about what kinds of plants are edible, so if we don’t have the money for a meal, I’m sure I can scrounge something up! But…we should have the money.” Her eyes narrow, and her sweet mouth creeps into a smile. “I’m an excellent Pokemon Thief.”

“Well, if you’re half as special as you say you are, it seems we’ve got it made in the shade, huh James?” James nods, his eyes cast slightly downward, toward Kelly’s tits. “I was being sarcastic, you dolt!” shrieks Jessie. James yelps are her sudden anger, and she slaps him on the side of the head.

~`~`~

After two days, it becomes quite clear that Kelly wasn’t bluffing. She steals a Wartortle, a Vulpix, two Nidoqueens, and a Taurus in one haul, and sends them off to the boss with a handwritten note about how much fun it is to be part of Team Rocket. She dots her i’s with hearts and stars, and sprays perfume on the envelope. Jessie and James ended up trapped in a net while Meowth rolled around on the floor pointing at them and laughing. One night before they received their payment for the stolen Pokemon, Kelly cooks up a feast from mushrooms she dug out of the ground and berries she picked from the trees. Jessie eats it reluctantly, and James eats it with a huge smile on his buffoonish face.

James says that having Kelly on their team is a dream come true, and he spends most of the night asking her inane questions about her interests. “Do you like the color pink? How about purple? Do you like cranberries?” None of her high-pitched, whining answers could possibly be of any interest to James, but he doesn’t care. Talking to her is an excuse to stare at her breasts, and he’s doing plenty of that. It’s times like this that Jessie wishes James would just be gay instead of bisexual—if he were gay, he wouldn’t be so swayed by this bitch. Jessie sighs, and stares at the moon. Meowth meanders over to her and asks, “hey Jess, what’s eatin’ you?”

“Oh, nothing,” she says with a dramatic sniff.

“Okay then, suit yourself.” Meowth turns to go, prompting Jessie to grab him by the scruff of the neck and shout that she wasn’t serious. “Okay okay, jeez! If you wanted to talk you shoulda just said so, you don’t have to go all loony tunes on me! What’s the problem?”

“Shouldn’t it be obvious?”

Meowth sighs, then flops on his stomach and presses his face into the grass. “Look Jess, if you’re gonna tell me, tell me. If not, I’m goin’ ta sleep.”

“It’s Kelly,” she hisses, stealing an angry glance at the girl as she laughs hysterically over James’ impression of a Psyduck. Meowth nods sagely, as if he’d known it all along. “Who does she think she is, stomping in here and acting like she’s better than me?” She widens her eyes and pushes up her breasts with her hands. “Ooh, look at me, I know how to tell poisonous mushrooms for regular ones! I’m so smart! I’m so pretty! I have breasts the size of boulders! I’m an expert at stealing Pokemon even though I’ve only been on Team Rocket for five minutes! Look how special I am! Hurrr!” James looks over at her and furrows his eyebrows. Jessie looks away. “I can’t stand her. I want her to screw up, just once. Is that so wrong?”

“Not really,” says Meowth, sitting up and crossing his arms. “It’s only natural to be jealous of a fine specimen like that. And I don’t suppose you’re going to calm down until you do something about it. Any thoughts?”

“So far as I can see, she only has one weakness, and that would be…you.” Jessie rubs a hand over the back of Meowth’s head, and comes up with a handful of loose fur. “Probably this part of you. Remember how she said she was allergic?”

“Oh yeah, I remember. You want me to make her sneeze or something? James seemed kind of grossed out when she did that before. Might get him to stop mooning over her for a while. You’d like that, right?” Jessie nods. “I’ll do that for you Jess…if you make it worth my while.” Jessie heaves a sigh, and promise Meowth a fish dinner as soon as they can afford it. “With catnip,” he insists. “With catnip,” Jessie agrees.

~`~`~

Meowth strides over just as James is leaning in for a clumsy kiss. “Hey,” he says, plopping himself down between the twosome. He flicks his tail under Kelly’s nose, and faces James. “Are you guys going to bed any time soon? We have to get an early start if we want to get to Celedon City in time for their big parade—it’s going to be so chaotic, we’ll nab a ton of Pokemon if we make it.” James nods, face red from his aborted attempt at kissing Kelly. Kelly’s face is red too, but for another reason.

Kelly’s nostrils quiver, and she scrubs the underside of her nose with a dainty finger. She sniffles, hard, and pinches her nose closed. “M-meowth? Could you move your tail please, sweetie? Remember what I said about being allergic to…ahhh…hiihhh…” She sniffles again, and takes a deep breath that makes her chest expand, and her barely covered breasts wobble. “Allergic to ca….caahhhh…” Her eyes water with the effort not to sneeze, and she fans her face, still taking deep, harsh breaths. “Ahhh…hahhh…hyaaa-CHIEW! Het-CHOO! Chiew!” She blinks, seemingly finished, so Meowth drags his tail under her nose once more. “Hehh….hhhehhh…hip-SCHIEW! CHIEW! Ahhh….” One breast pops out of her tiny shirt as her body pitches forward. “Oh n-no,” says Kelly, too absorbed in her fit to put it back. “Ep-SHIEW! CHH! CHH! M-meowth, please….”

Meowth stops, apparently satisfied. James is looking at her with raised eyebrows. He’s never really liked it when people sneezed, he always found it repulsive. “Are you alright?” he asks, fishing in his pocket for a tissue. “Meowth, get away from her, you little pest!” He hands her a torn napkin, the only thing he can find, and Kelly blows her nose with a grating honk. “Oh gosh,” she says, her voice deadened with congestion. “I hate sneezing.” Her moaning is pitiful, especially with her breast still hanging out—she hasn’t even noticed it, the idiot!

Jessie smirks. Kelly and James lapse into an awkward silence, punctuated occasionally by Kelly’s loud trumpeting into the napkin. She eventually fixes her shirt, but not until after James has fallen asleep.

~`~`~

Kelly has been given orders to undertake a solo mission. Jessie, James, and Meowth will be her back-up, but the actual thieving will be Kelly’s job. She is going to steal six Magikarp from a man who has bred some of the strongest Gyarados in the world. James says, quite cheerily, that this is probably because they’re talentless hacks who haven’t stolen a single Pokemon in months, and Kelly has a spectacular success rate. Jessie scoffs at this, and tells James to take more pride in himself.

Jessie is broiling. This order is a slap in the face from the boss, and the fact that James just accepts it is baffling. It’s as if he doesn’t care about being part of Team Rocket anymore, or about being her team mate. No, James is happy just watching Kelly’s boobs jiggle. He’s utterly stupefied by her. Well, Jessie isn’t going to let this stand. Her next mission is going to fail, and Meowth is going to help.

In the morning while Kelly and James are asleep in sleeping bags lined up infuriatingly close to each other, Jessie brushes Meowth’s fur, then sprinkles the hair all over Kelly’s face, hair, and clothes. With a plastic glove on, she rubs hair inside her nostrils. For good measure, she opens up a few packets of pepper that she recently swiped from a diner, and sprinkles those as well. The instant the hair makes contact, Kelly’s nose begins to twitch. Jessie ducks behind a nearby bush, and watches with her hand over her mouth. Kelly lets out three ear-splitting sneezes, waking James and sending a flock of Zubat flapping out of the cave. She shucks off her sleeping bag, and takes a deep, shuddery breath. “Oh no…” she groans. “Not this agai…aga…hip-SHIEW! Hek-CHOO! ACKSHH! Chhh-HOO!” She pitches forward, the bottoms of her breasts grazing her knees, and sneezes five more times into her cleavage. “Ugh…need to go to the store and get some….hek-SHOO! Addihistabeeds…” She sniffles miserably, and wipes her red nose on the edge of her sleeping bag.

Jessie, who has by now made it back to her own sleeping bag, pretends to wake up. “Could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep!”

“I’b sorry Jessie,” Kelly mumbles. “B-by…by c-cat allerg…alle….hiihhh…” Her next sneeze appears to be stuck. Her chest heaves, and her mouth hangs open like her lip has been hooked by a fishing pole. Jessie rolls her eyes. If her breasts pop out again it will be her own fault, if she wore a bra, or a shirt that didn’t start at her nipples, she wouldn’t have this problem. Jessie doesn’t understand why she doesn’t; wouldn’t breasts that globelike cause back pain? “ahhh….ahhh…” Oh for fuck’s sake. Can’t she just sneeze and get on with it? “Ehhh…” Her nostrils quiver, and she presses her breasts together with her forearms as she reaches to rub her nose. “EPSHIEW! HECHOO! HACHOO….aghh…ihhhpSHIEW!” She snorts, and blows her nose on the sleeping bag. How charming. “Oh by gosh, I’b soooo stuffy,” she rasps. “By doze is rudding like crazy, too…” She sniffles violently to prove her point. “D-do you have addy tissues, Jessie?”

Jessie passes her a tissue that’s been pre-coated with Meowth fur and pepper. Kelly is so distracted that she doesn’t notice, and immediately buries her nose in its folds. This, predictably, triggers another sneezing fit. Jessie smiles, and saunters over to James to kick him awake.

~`~`~

Although she’s tried to wash her face and rid her clothes of cat hair, much of it is stuck in her sinuses. Her blonde hair is mussed from all the sneezing, and her top is aligned poorly, almost totally exposing her left breast, and covering the right. She sneezes almost every time she breathes, her nose is bright red, her lips are dry, and she sounds like someone is pinching her nose shut. James is avoiding her, and Meowth is walking a little too close to her. When they get there, Jessie asks Kelly if she’s sure she’ll be able to swipe the Magikarp without being noticed.

Hyaahh-CHOO! Uhh…I dod’t thig so. Dot with by allergies this bad.” She sniffles, and wipes her nose on the back of her delicate hand. “They’re goig to hear be sdeezing for sure. Ad I cad’t seeb to stophik-SHOO! CHOO! Ugh…Jessie, are you allergic to addythig? If you are, you cad appreciade how buch this sucks…hek-CHOO!” She bends forward, hands folding under her cleavage, and aims her sneeze at the ground. “I wish I had sobe tissues…by head feels like there’s ad ocean idside….eck-CHRR!” More desperate, wet sniffling, more pitiful high-pitched groans. “This is horrible…HYAHHCHHIUUEE!”

“She’s allergic to Oddish pollen,” says James, Jessie grabs his hair from the back and hisses at him not reveal her weaknesses. “We hardly know Kelly, she doesn’t need to know about my allergies!” James shrugs, and says that they knew about hers, so it was only fair. “What’s she going to do with that information, anyway? Jeez Jessie, you need to calm down.” He smiles and says, “Kelly, I’m allergic to jellybeans, Red ones. I think it’s the dye. I get hives if I eat them…luckily, they’re fairly easy to avoid.”

Kelly sniffles, and says in a scratchy voice that she doesn’t think she can complete the mission. “It’s okay Kelly, I’ll do it,” purrs Jessie. “James will help me—after all, we’ve been partners for years now, we know how to work together. You already came up with the plan, so I’m sure it’ll go smoothly! There’s no need to worry. Just hide somewhere where no one can hear you sneeze.”

~`~`~

The plan goes beautifully. For the first time in years, Jessie and James walk away with everything they intended to steal, and then some. Besides six Magikarp, they nabbed two Miltank and a Mareep—common enough farm Pokemon, but useful for their milk and their wool. Their success was due entirely to Kelly’s plan, but Jessie manages to blind herself to that. She is flush with success, and won’t let anything ruin that. She spends the whole day bragging to her team about how amazing their heist was, and how proud she is. Kelly flatters her with congested congratulations and smiles knowingly when Jessie explains, for the fifth time, exactly how it all went down.

At one point, James decides to go looking for food, and asks Kelly to come with him. Kelly refuses on the grounds that she still isn’t feeling well. Meowth tags along with James, and doesn’t respond to Jessie’s unspoken questions about why James won’t ask her. This leaves Jessie and Kelly sitting alone in the cave.

“You know, you never could have stolen those Pokemon if not for my plan,” rasps Kelly, scratching a freckle on the side of her nose. Jessie stares at her, mouth ajar, and then snaps that Kelly was so wrecked by her stupid cat allergy that she couldn’t even carry out her precious plan. “And whose fault is that?” asks Kelly, arms crossed under her breasts, pushing them ever so slightly upward. Jessie blinks. Could it be that this stupid bimbo isn’t so stupid after all?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jessie says. She waves a hand in front of her face dismissively, and laughs. Sweat pours down the back of her neck, and down her front, getting trapped in her cleavage. She points to herself and says, “surely you can’t be referring to me?”

“Wow, you must really think I’m stupid! You know, I was assigned to work with you and James because you’re incompetent, and you make Team Rocket look bad!” Jessie opens her mouth to protest, but Kelly waves a hand to shut her up. “I’m an expert thief, do you really think I can’t see through your obvious tricks? I heard you whispering with Meowth every time he came and dragged his tail under my nose, and I found his fur all over my clothes. And pepper. Pepper!” She sighs, her chest heaving with the drag of the air. “Look, Jessie—I really don’t like having allergies. A stuffy nose is my least favorite thing in the world, and my sneezes are just so...unladylike. So I have to ask…that Oddish allergy of yours…it’s not fatal, is it?”

Before she can think it through, Jessie finds herself shaking her head. The instant she does, she’s blasted in the face with a handful of sticky, golden powder. Her nose begins to itch, dully at first, but then it blossoms into a crawling feeling that fills her sinuses, and makes her nostrils twitch. She takes a deep breath, and sniffs in an attempt to neutralize the itch, but it only makes it worse. This is Oddish pollen. That little bitch must have snuck off to get some while they were stealing Pokemon! Jessie’s breasts rise and fall with each shuddery breath, and she’s aware of her shirt lifting off to expose the underside of them. She’s too preoccupied with the building itch in her nose to do much about it. Her eyes tear up, and she sniffs again. “Hehh….hiihhh...HEPSHAHH! HICHOO! Ehh….ick-choo! CHOO!” Her nose is running profusely now, so she wipes it on the back of her glove. “You little bitch…HECHOO! Ahh…ahh…haCHOO! Two can play at that game.” Jessie pulls a handful of Meowth’s fur out of her pocket, and rubs it in Kelly’s laughing face. Her laughing immediately turns into an aggrieved pre-sneeze expression, and she explodes into a fit of twelve. Once she’s finished, she’s red-face, panting like a dog, and her round, smooth breasts have popped out of her flimsy white shirt.

“W-well…well-played…Jess…eh-CHOO!”

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Natto thank you so so much, this story is amazing! The characters are awesome, I was laughing at James the whole time XD It was written so skillfully and awesomely, thank you so much, this is more than I could have ever asked for :D^_^

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I really enjoyed reading this story Natto :) Breasts and sneezing - together they make one of lifes perfect combinations ;)

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@ NoV - Yeah, well, from what I hear, breasts can improve almost any situation. Sneezing will do that, too. Glad you liked the story, and thanks for the comment.

@ Pearlised - You're very welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and thanks for the comment.

@ Animeeze - I'm so glad you liked it! When you made your request I wasn't sure if this was something I could write about successfully, so it's really nice to see that it worked out. And I'm glad you thought James was amusing, I was giggling at him a bit as I wrote, too. I'm very happy to have exceeded your expectations!

This has been fun. I can't wait to see your end of the exchange! :D *excited*

@ Pilgrim - Thank you very much! Yeah, normally I'm in the "lets give dudes colds" crowd, but ehhh, it's good to branch out sometimes. And doing exchanges is fun. Glad you liked the story.

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I know I'm late replying, but I just wanted you to know that I loved this story! Definately one of my favorite sneezefics of all time. And I want a Meowth now...

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