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Tintin's Only Weakness


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Hi, guys! So, I guess you could say I'm sort of new to this site, but I've kinda been obsessing with the whole Tintin fandom ever since the movie came out and am rather disappointed by the lack of SFF-posts reguarding this tenacious little red-head! Anyway, I've had this little story in my head for a while; it's not much, but I hope you like it nonetheless! turned.gif


Whistling contentedly to himself, Captain Archibald Haddock strolled the streets of Brussels. Though it was a sunny day, the clouds, he could tell, were turning darker and darker with every step he took.

"Blisterin' barancles," the Captain exclaimed quietly, "Good thing I'm headed fer home! Them skies're lookin' mighty bla--"


"...What in ten-thousand thunderin' typhoons was--"


"Why, hello..."

The Captain looked down at his feet to find an infant kitten: orange and white, with huge brown eyes that looked as though they were about to cry any second.

"Awww," Haddock cooed as he picked up the little kitten, "Ain't'chu a down-right cutie, eh? Say now: where's yer mamma and pappa, lassy? I...wait...you are a lassy, aren't yeh...?"

Sheepishly, Captain Haddock blushed as he took the necessary precautions that were called for to be sure. The kitten (obviously not stupid) hissed as he did so.

"Pardon me," Captain quickly tipped his hat, "But you are a lassy, that's fer sure! An' a pretty one, at that!"

As the little kitten purred nuzzled against the Captain's chest, the sky boomed with thunder.

" Blisterin' barnacles! Looks like a down pour is comin' our way. But...but I'll not dare leave you t' face such a storm yerself! No siree! I'll see to it you get someplace safe'n'dry. And what better place than Marlinspike Hall?!"

As the thunder clapped once more, Haddock tucked the little kitten under his jacket.

"C'mon, little lass; let's getchu home."

Meanwhile, back at Marlinspike Hall, investigative reporter/journalist/adventurer, Tintin-along with his trusted sidekick (and best friend)-Snowy were investigating some incriminating evidence on a rising case. Well, in all actuality, Tintin was doing most of the investigating, while Snowy whined and whimpered, shivered and shook in fear of the raging storm that was brewing outside.

"Ugh! For goodness sake-Snowy! I've told you time and time again," Tintin kindly scolded as he crawled under the work bench where his little white dog lay quivering, "The thunder cannot hurtchu. Storms, in general, are a very, very silly thing to be afraid of!"

At that moment, Tintin heard the entry door to Marlinspike open, along with a hearty, "Ahoy, lad! 'M'home from the market! Aaaand, I've got a suprise for yeh!!!"

"Splendid, Captain," Tintin called, then turning back to Snowy, "See, now don't you feel foolish? Why, poor Captain Haddock was out right in the very thick of that storm without so much as a quiver, and here you are shaking like a leaf just from a bit of thunder!"

Snowy whimpered further still. He knew he wasn't brave, but he just couldn't help it! Of course, Tintin simply chuckled and patted his quadrapedic friend on the head as he said, "Come along then: let's go have a look at this suprise."

As Tintin and Snowy rumbled down the staircase into the main hall, Captain Haddock stood trying to dry the excess water off the baby cat with his handkerchief. Finally reaching the bottom step, Tintin huffed tiredly, yet excitedly, "So, what's the--"

He stopped short. Arms stretched to their full extension, Captain Haddock smiled widely as he held the happy kitten. Snowy growled quietly as he glared at the little fur ball, while Tintin was at a loss for words; merely sputtering utterances such as, "Uh...oh, um..."

"Eh?" Captain jestured smiling, "Ain't she a beauty?! Found the poor thing lyin' out in the rain all by her loansome. Just a set of eyes: big and sad enough to break your heart. No family, no master: just a sad little--now Tintin, there's no need t'get all teary an' what not; she's safe with us now-"

"No-*sniff*-no, Captain- i-it's dot that-*sniff*," Tintin sniffled, itching the underside of his unusually pink-tint nose.

"Oh, c'mon, lad," Haddock mocked loudly, "No sense in hidin' yer emotions: there they are, as clear as day! I mean, look atcha--eyes waterin', nose snifflin'...Barnacles, Tintin, I never knew you t'be so sensative-"

"Captain, I-*sniff*- I swear, I'm no-nuh, uh, ah, AHH--"


Now, Tintin: one of the bravest boys in all of Belgium, and possibly the entire world: had but one tiny flaw. His only weakness, and probably the dumbest weakness in the history of weaknesses, was his allergy to cats; stupid, stupid cats! He could journey to every Eastern country known to man, discover the lost temple of Katmandu, uncover and knullify corruptive scandal in the states, and even uncover 14th century treasure...but the second Tintin got a little cat hair up his nose...

"H'UH-pshoo! Ugh-*sniff*-E-excuse me, Captain..."


"-*sniff, sniff*-Thadg'you: Dow, you see Cap-ahp, a-AHP'SH-tchoo! -*sniff, sniff*- I-I do beg your pardon..."

"What in tarnation..."

Finally, after watching Tintin rub his nose, Captain Haddock gasped, as he seemed to have gotten the message...

"Why, Tintin! You never told you were allergic to cats!"

"Only a little..." Tintin managed to say after his slight fit...a fit that was only just beginning, "eh, UH-shoo!"

"A LITTLE?! LOOK AT YOU! Oh, ten-thousan'-thunderin'-typhoons, Tintin! She can't stay here with you sneezin' like that! Oh...why didn't'cha tell me you were allergic to cats?!"

"W-well: huh, huh-H'AP-shew! I-I-*sniff*-t-thought you knew..."

"How in blue blazes could I've known?!"

"Well, the fact that -*sniff*- at by old flat, Bisses Fidch, the landlord, had a cat that'd always set be off in a fit," Tintin muffled stuffily, "Which is also why I have a pet dog, a-ad dot a pet ca-caaah, ...ca-huuuh, huh- hu, HUP'tchoo!"

"Poor lad," Captain Haddock mumbled as he searched his pockets, eventually finding a handkerchief to hand over to Tintin. Shyly, Tintin blew his nose as quietly as he could (though it was so stuffed, it still came out rather loudly--loud enough, actually, to make both Captain Haddock and Snowy grimace.)

"Uh, Captain-*sniff*-d-did this -*sniff*-ha-handkerchief have any-*sniff, sniff*- cat h-hair on it..."

"Oh, barnacles," Captain remembered, "I used that hanky to dry the poor little thing off from the rain!"

"Uh-uh, eh-uh, ah, ih, ahh--"

Tintin's nostrils flared with agony: the tickle was so strong! All he wanted to do was run: run away so nobody would have to see him in his place of vulneralbility. The only thing stopping him; paralyzing him, for that matter; was the insane urge to sneeze. Poor Tintin--so embarrassed to have shown such weakness in front of both Snowy and the Captain, he just couldn't bare sneeze again! But, his nose--how it itched!

"I-*sniiff*-hah-*SNUFF*-H-HAAH-hu-uh, H'uh-HAAAH..."

Tintin tried and tried to stop the tickle, but everytime he breathed, it just got stronger and the tickle went deeper. He tried rubbing his nose with the handkerchief, but each time he pressed it against his nostrils, the cat hair lying within the cloth would caress the most sensative area in the back of his nose, making the urge to sneeze even stronger still! The only thing to end this was a sneeze, and not just one--but maybe two, or three, or more! Still, Tintin was strong; and still he tried desperately to hold back the sneeze.

"--aaaah, AAAAH-uh--*sniff*-aaaAAAHH..."

Just then, the tiny little cat slipped from Captain Haddock's arms, and started nuzzling Tintin's leg. That did it...

"h-HUH'shooo! HUP'tchoo!! ATCH'hooo! A'UHH-tshoo! H'UHshooo! T'tchew! H'ur'SHOO!..."

Poor Tintin, believe it or not, was trying incredibly hard to stop his fit. He could practically feel the stares coming off Snowy, Captain Haddock, and yes, even the little manipulator of this Sneeze-fest himself. Unbelievably through all of his torture, Tintin somehow came to a thought.

"Great snakes; This is absolutely humiliating! Maybe, just maybe, if I try stifling them, that'll help any..."

"H'xngt! H'll'nxgt! M'p'hxt! Huh-HUP'gx'choo!..."

"Well, that didn't work very well a'tall. Oh, no--here we go..."

Knowing that these last few sneezes were going to be much stronger, Tintin took a few steps back from his friends just before...

"...h'uh, huh!...H'UHshooo! T'tchew! H'ur'SHOO! h-Hup'SHOO! Eh-ISH'oo!...-*sniff* Oh, good lord..."

Beyond humiliated, Tintin ran upstairs to his work room without hesitation. As Captain Haddock blinked confusedly as to what he just witnessed, the setting sun's light peered through the window in Marlinspike Hall's front doorway.

"Well, lassy," Captain said to the kitten opening the door, "Looks like fair weather again. Take care, little one."

As Captain closed the door, he knealed down and patted Snowy's head as he muttered quietly, "Now, t' take care a' the other little one."

Once Haddock reached Tintin's room at the top of the stairs, he noticed the boy was reluctant to turn around and face him. Trying to look busy, Tintin sat hunched over his desk so Captain couldn't see the magnifying glass he was holding glued to some unimportant piece of fuzz he was pretending to analyze. Trying hard not to smile, Captain Haddock cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Lad," Haddock began, "I know, erm...I-I know yer a bit embarrassed...but evr'yone has their strengths an' weaknesses..."

"Like Snowy and the thunder," Tintin thought to himself as Captain Haddock continued.

"...And with those weaknesses, well, we get a little sheepish when somebody....no matter how close you are t' that somebody...finds out about them. But, if tha' somebody is your friend--and if you think we ain't friends, Tintin, then I'm throwin' ya out on yer daft-end---then there's really nothin' t' be embarrassed about."

Tintin thought silently after Captain Haddock finished. Then, he turned around suddenly.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Tintin said shyly, "It's jus'...of all things I hate doing in front of people, i-it's sneezing. It...it just shows weakness, and I just-"

"Y' don't want me t' think ya weak," Captain interluded, "Tintin-if there's one thing you ain't, it's weak! Now, sneezin' is somethin' that everybody does, and nobody can control... no matter how many times you drive a half-empty jet plane through a ragin' thunderstorm."

Laughing at the Captain's subtle joke, Tintin replied, "Thanks, Captain. You're a true friend."

"Alright, alright," Captain muffled before exclaiming gruffly, "No need t' get all mushy on me!"

"Right, of course," Tintin smiled, reaching into his pocket, "Oh! I nearly forgot..."

Just then, Captain Haddock grimaced as Tintin held up the used, cat-hair-laced handkerchief from his pocket.

"I believe this's yours."

"Uhh, right...how's about we give it a wash first?"

"Sounds fine to--eh, uhh...HUH'shoo! "


"Ugh-*sniff*-thank you."


Well, this would've been accomplished much more quickly...IF IT DIDN'T KEEP MESSING UP WITH MY SPACES!!! GRRRR!!!wallbash.gifOh, well: I knew it was too long; this just confirms it--lol! Hope you enjoyed it, guys!

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Ah! How adorable! I must confess I never did read the Tintin books, but I loved the movie, and whoever did the voice for Tintin was amazing! Gotta love those British accents... Mm, and this was fantastic! Thank youuu!

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I loved Tintin as a girl. I checked Land of Black Gold (iirc?) out of the library so many times just because of the sneezing powder bit rolleyes.gifblush.pngtonguesmiley.gif

I loved the little conversation Tintin had with Snowy in this, very cute.

Tintin's sneezes were gorgeous too, especially after the stifling.

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Excellent story, although I don't quite see why Tintin would rush out of the room and hide when sneezing, at least not after his perfromance in Tintin and the Land of the Black Gold; I can't think of any more extended sneezing powder theme anywhere, including at least two sneezing while hiding sequences, a sneezefight and Tintin's finding the villain's hideout by following the sneezes. I admit I read it in French , so a lot of Atchoums, but there was at least one American cartoon version which I used to watch obsessively.

I can't find it on YouTube although the first part of it has been posted......and I bet it's there somewhere....

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I REALLY need to re-read Land of the Black Gold, it seems. I read all the Tintin books as a kid and I don't remember that sneezing powder scene! Though it's very possible that just skipped it altogether because I was reading in the general vicinity of another person. :blush:

That said, this fic was SO cute! I was always more partial to Captain Haddock myself (that awesome nose fjdskljdsfjfk), but I still really enjoyed it! Tintin's so precious, and it was sweet how embarrassed he was while he was trying to reign himself in. :D

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Oh my goodness CUTE blushsmiley.gif !! I read this at work on my phone (probably not the best idea, I know, hehe but it was a slow day) and it definitely brightened my day! So sweet and cute and funny and d'aawww! I really love how Haddock is so... uhh I dunno but I love how you write him interacting with the both the kitten and TinTin! And snowy with thunder and and <3 sorry words are failing me. This was just perfect.

I admit, the only thing of TinTin I've ever seen is the movie last winter. Now I'm very curious about the other TinTin media. Any recommendations? And... there's more sneezing yay.gif ?!

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