50 Shades of Grey and the wider fetish community

[Sniffle Lover]

So I haven't actually read the book yet, but I wanted to get your thoughts on how you think the book will influence other people's perception of people that have fetishes. I bring this up because everyone is talking about how great the book is so I looked up a synopsis on the book. Granted it's just from Wikipedia and that's only one source but this sentence stood out to me "As [Anastasia] gets to know [Christian], she learns that his sexual tastes involve bondage, domination, and sadism, and that childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual. Do you think that people will associate having a fetish with some triggering event and being "a deeply damaged individual", more so than they already do? Or do you think that reading about BDSM will make people more enlightened about the fetish community? Pretty much how do you think the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy will affect the fetish community? That is if you think that it'll affect it at all. So yeah I'm just curious.

[JenJen]

"I bring this up because everyone is talking about how great the book is"

I'd love to know where you hang out, because I have not seen one positive thing said about this series online (except one glowing review from a friend of mine whose opinions I have never trusted, lol). XD

The important thing to understand is that the books do not portray BDSM relationships correctly or positively. I have some good pals online who are deep into the BDSM scene and in their opinion the books are dangerous, especially for younger, inexperienced readers who may perhaps come away from the books thinking that Christian and Ana's "relationship" is typical (or acceptable) of dominant/submissive relationships.

Christian's behavior especially is troublesome because he seems to take on a dominant role as a way to deal with his feelings about his mother. I read a passage where he claimed that he saw the face of "the crack whole" (his mom) in the faces of all the women he is with. If that doesn't seem like a recipe for an unsafe situation for any woman to be in, I don't know what is.

Anyway, yes, I think the books are pretty damaging. Not just to the concept of fetishes, but to the concept of any non-vanilla sex.

Not to mention the concept of good erotica. Or good writing in general.

(Sorry if anyone enjoyed these books, I just... ugh, they make me rage like nobody's business.)

[Vetinari]

Oddly enough I read this commentary yesterday. From what has been said, it seems to me that this author has taken BDSM, and got it all wrong. I don't like the general implication, that anyone into BDSM (or if you widen the envelope, anyone with an unusual kink) must be emotionally scarred. That's an assumption that is all too easily made anyway and perpetuating the myth doesn't do anyone any favours. I don't imagine it will have much effect on our fetish because it's so little known in general but of course, it's the old chestnut of whether the fetish or kink is carried out in a consensual manner or not. If the public concept is that a sneeze fetishist is a weirdo who goes round blowing pepper in a random person's face, then no wonder it would be met with negativity. Short of writing something mainstream with a character who is a genuinely rounded and normal fetishist, it's difficult to undo this impression because so much that reaches the mainstream is negative because that is where the news and media.concentrate their interest.

[VoOs]

All things evil stem from the Twilight-series.

[March Hare]

If people are going to form an opinion of concepts like fetishism based on a badly written softporn novel and nothing else, they are... let's be nice and say insufficiently informed.

Certain people are always going to assume the worst about what they don't know. I'm not sure whether we should blame Ms Frustrated-Twilight-Fan for any future common misconceptions about fetishism in general, though.

[tma]

If people are going to form an opinion of concepts like fetishism based on a badly written softporn novel and nothing else, they are... let's be nice and say insufficiently informed.

Certain people are always going to assume the worst about what they don't know. I'm not sure whether we should blame Ms Frustrated-Twilight-Fan for any future common misconceptions about fetishism in general, though.

Agreed!

[Chanel_no5]

Everyone talks about it? Personally, this forum is the only place I have heard anyone talk about it. Nobody I know IRL has even heard of it, and most people I know online (not from this forum) seem to be oblivious of it, as well. So... I don't know. But all in all, fetishes have never really had a good reputation, I don't think that series will make any true difference of people's perception. Theeeeeeen again... I've never really had an interest in hetero erotica, so I've never checked it out for myself, and I'm not likely to either.

All things evil stem from the Twilight-series.

*laughs and nods in heartfelt agreement*

[Pearlised]

Gawd. These books are everywhere. I actually read a bit while it was still a twilight fan fiction and wasn't too into it. But I agree that it portrays the idea that anyone into 'different' or have kinks must have baggage.

I think they may encourage others to be more frequently using fetish terms as the norm, such as in another thread they ask opinions on the word 'fetish' becoming more widely used (eg my sister shops all the time, she has a shopping fetish) which I'm against also.

But you know, people are going to do what they do and the hype will die down eventually.

[prisma]

How many of you who actually read the book are into BDSM?? I have read the book(s). I AM into BDSM. I thought the books were good.

I dont think it was that well written but I enjoyed the books. I think the part about christain and his mother is more to give him a back story more than anything. Its not to suggest that he is taking stuff out on Ana

[March Hare]

From what I've heard, the BDSM in the book is definitely on the vanilla side. But, that is not what this discussion is about. It's about whether the books are going to spark 'HALP! Teh scareh!'-discussions about fetishes around the world wide web, which it probably is, but what else is new?

A lot of people who know that our fetish exists think it's weird already. Also, fetishism in general is not the same as BDSM. Also, I'm gleaning from sites like Mommyish and Jezebel that the discussions on the books among their demographic are more along the lines of "hoo, I'd like to try that with the hubby sometime" than "eeew, that guy has a FETISH and fetishes are WEEEEERD!"

[count tiszula]

Clearly I haven't read any of it, but it has been all over news and discussion programmes, and the reaction has been as Maru says.

FFeminists stop here! There seems to be an undercurrent of masochism in many ladies; eg all the critics hated the film the Man in Grey but for the same reasons it was incredibly popular, viz the villainess was beaten to death by James Mason, which became a fantasy dream. And indeed the whole Twilight thing is based on the predatory vampire thing goin back to Dracula and beyond.

My feeling is that this can only make people more open to nonstandard sexual interests; possibly for the first time ever.