Mash Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 I gave my mother a flat stare as i stood on her porch, soaking wet, as a torrent of rain splashed around me."Let me get this straight..." I began, moving inside the house as I shrugged off my coat, "You made me drive thirty miles in the rain... so that I could clean for you?" I finished, raising an eyebrow."Oh, give an old woman a break. The ladder is higher up than I can reach, and I don't want to chance falling off of it!" she retorted, throwing her hands in the air. Despite my irritation, I couldn't argue with her logic.I slumped in defeat, taking a glance up at the pull-down ladder. "So... you just want me to... what? Clean it up?" I questioned, reaching for the draw-string.My mother nodded, "Yes, that, and I'd like for you to look around for anything up there that you might want." she tapped her chin, "Also... why don't you drag the Christmas lights down, too? Unless you want to drive down here again next week, as well." she finished, smirking triumphantly.I tugged the ladder down, rolling my eyes. "Fine, fine. I'll be back down in like a half hour."A sigh escaped my lips as I pulled my shirt up over my nose, squinting as I began climbing the ladder, peering into the darkness. It wasn't the smell of the musty, old attic that bothered me, though. My nose was frustratingly sensitive to anything that happened to intrude on it, and dust particles were no exception.A cough burst from me lips as I waved my hand around, scattering the cobwebs that blocked the entrance. Popping my head up, I squinted, reaching upwards for the light that I vaguely remembered. The feel of a slim pull-chain, and the click of the light preceded the flash of light that the dim bulb provided. I growled to myself as I noticed the thick layer of dust on... everything.Was she really gonna be able to tell if I actually cleaned up or not? Probably not. I'd just tidy up the position of the boxes, and drag down the christmas lights. I began dusting off various boxes, checking for the box that the lights were in. Dust rose up around me, and my nose wrinkled on instinct, but my shirt protected me from most of it.It didn't take long to find the box in question. It was tucked away next to the attic entrance, out of immediate view, but it was obvious that someone had basically just tossed it up into the attic. Probably my sister's work.Dragging the box out into the open, I crouched down, dusting the top off, causing a cloud of dust to rise up.My mother's voice rang up from the room below. "Oh, and Mac, I forgot to tell you this over the phone, but your ex Shelby is coming by this year.""Say what!?" I barked, whipping around. Unfortunately, the fast motion cause my foot to catch on the side of the Christmas light box, throwing me off balance. I tumbled, my shirt getting pulled down roughly as I fell on my back, a large cloud of dust rising around me. "Aww... crap." I muttered, immediately registering the irritants in my nose."H-hehh... hetchhh!" I sneezed, arching upwards, more particles of dust invading my nostrils. "H-hehh! Heehh ehhhtch! Hetchh!" my nose twitched violently as I desperately pulled my shirt up, the cloth covering my nose, but not before a little more dust snuck in."H-hehh... ahhh... ehhahhhhchuuu!" I sneezed harshly, falling backwards again, panting a little as I sniffled.I hated this god damn attic.--------Hope you guys enjoyed it. ^^ I like to do short stories, mostly fiction, and I plan on contributing more in the future. ^^ Link to comment
TheCakeIsAlive Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Well-written and a very nice scenario. Definitely liked it. Link to comment
LovelyLinda Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Rowrrr, I freaking LOVE this!The scenario is perfect and it's all so realistic *_*I love these wonderful build-ups...Pleaaaase write more!!! <3 Link to comment
Mash Posted July 12, 2012 Author Share Posted July 12, 2012 Thanks, guys and gals. I enjoy writing, particularly if I know that the audience is enjoying the story. I just get embarrassed with this topic in general, and generally never make the story very long. I'm self-conscious that way. xP Link to comment
Smokey Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 This was fantastic- you should definitely write more Link to comment
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