A Grand Attempt

[Healer]

I don't usually like writing, let alone writing anything fetish-y, but here we go, anyway. I want it to be one of those multi-part stories that all the cool people write, but I don't usually stick these things out longer than one 'part'. I'll try to anyway, and if this is popular enough, Part 2 will be considerably longer.

And yeah, the title sucks, it's all I could think of. If I think of something better, I'll let you all pretend it's called that instead.

Part 1

Molly Clyde was sitting in the diner on the end of Richmond Street. In her left pocket was a packet of mints, $500 in cash, and a scrumpled up receipt for the tennis set she bought for her uncle's fifth wife's birthday. In her other pocket was small packet of tissues and a gun. It was only a pistol. This operation was supposed to be discreet, which is why the rucksack by her feet had, amongst other things, a silencer packed. It was also why she wasn't carrying anything more than the pistol. Shotguns aren't particularly well-known for their subtlety.

"Heh...HEH-CHIEW!" she sneezed into her arm, and sniffled. Unfortunately for Molly, colds were pretty similar to shotguns, in that respect. She looked down at her watch, wrapped around her left arm, and with her right arm she reached into her right pocket, ignored the gun and grabbed the tissues. She had a minor struggle, as she tried to pull out the pack without removing the gun, and potentially blowing the operation, and after finally pulling out the tissue packet, Molly made a mental note to put them into her left pocket next time.

12:03. They were late. Molly pulled a tissue out of the packet, and wrapped it around her nose, before blowing into it. She tried her hand at discretion again, but blowing your nose and acting discreet are two things that don't go particularly well together. She did get a few looks, but she tried to look down and ignore the stairs.

She focused her eyes on the newspaper below her. She wasn't reading it, her mind was on other things. The 'operation' as Heather called it, the money that Kyron promised to supply, the constant stream of lies from the Bo Brothers, this cold that Kate gave to...

Her thoughts stopped. Everything stopped, and her mouth began to open. She tried to return to her thoughts.The cold that Kate--

Her thoughts were interrupted again. The only thing she could focus on was the burning itch in her nose. "Heh...Fu...eh...Fugk....I--ECHIEW! HESHIEW!" She pulled out the tissue again, reaching into her right pocket. "HECHIEW!" Shit. She put it in her left pocket, didn't she? "Uh...HET-ISHEW! TISHEW!" Her hand shot into her left pocket, and pulled out the packet, she yanked out a tissue, covering the large "Eh..ESHEW! Hnn-GKT!" she stifled the last one,and quickly blew her nose again, before any sneezes could coax there way out of her nose.

She raised her eyes upwards, expecting the entire diner to be looking her way. They weren't. They ignored her. Somebody had put the jukebox on, one or two minutes before her fit started. It seemed loud enough to make her sneezes just seem like part of the background.

She looked at her watch again, sniffling. The sooner this was over the better. 12:05. Molly didn't particularly care that they were late. She wasn't the one organising this, she wasn't funding it, she didn't have a major role, either. She was one of the cogs. Although, she thought, who puts a cog into a mechanism first? Everything else needs to be there before the cog can do anything useful.

She rolled her eyes, and faked a smile as one of the waiters cleared up her cup of coffee from 20 minutes ago, and wiped her nose with the tissue she was now clutching in her right hand, as he walked away.

*DING*

The door! The door was opening, and Molly looked up. Heather, and Bryan. The rest of the crew wasn't here yet, but Heather was in charge of the whole thing, she'd be keeping tabs on them They made there way over to her, and sat at the other end of the table. Heather sat right across from Molly, with a blank expression on her face.

"Gun?" she whispered

"Id by pocket" replied Molly, biting her lip at the sound of her congestion. Heather paused momentarily, before nodding.

"The others will be here in two minutes. When Kyron arrives with the cash, me and you" she pointed at Molly "are going to walk out. Kyron will follow us after five minutes. Bryan," she aimed her thumb at Bryan, who was sat right next to her "will wait for Kate, and they will both leave as soon as they possibly can. We," she was referring to herself and Molly again "will then meet Roger and Lindsay at the park across the street. Then we all make our way to the agreed upon location, and carry out the operation from there. Did you get all that?" she asked Molly

"Yes" Molly said, nodding.

"Any questions at all?"

Molly shook her head, trying to avoid speaking. She'd blow her nose later, she'd have to.

"Okay then," Heather smiled "Let's get this started"

-------------

So, that's all I've got written for now, it's not very long, I know, but if you like it I'll try to make the next part longer. Though, I fail to see why would

like it.

Regardless, post your thoughts, criticisms and such and I'll try and take them into account, and I will also reply. Thanks!

Edited August 27, 2012 by TheMorpher

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Very much like your writing style. A very enjoyable read. ^^

[Argent]

The writing's spiffy. You really capture her frustration and wariness. Will definitely read part 2!

[NoV]

I like it very much The sneezing is great, and what's wrong with the title? I look forwards to more!

[Healer]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. Haven't made a start on Part 2 yet, but this generated enough interest (more interest than I expected, at least) for me to want to write a second part.

Hopefully I'll get it up soon, but 'eventually' is probably the best term to use for now

[megacycle]

Nice story. I look forward to reading more.

[lovelylovexoxo]

I like it

[gxy49]

Great so far!

[Healer]

I'd all but forgotten about this, until a few days ago. I wouldn't have bothered writing this, but I kind of said there would be a second part. It's 5 months late, but I'm not great at regular updates. If I ever bother to do a third part, don't rely on me doing it particularly soon.

-----

PART 2

All of them sat there, in total silence, aside from the occasional sniffling, from Molly.

Heather looked at her watch, and called over a waiter. She asked for a single coffee. Bryan muttered "Same here".

The waiter turned to Molly. "You, ma'am?"Molly, who was, at this point, attempting to hide her incredibly obvious congestion, just shook her head. She wasn't going to talk. If she said anything, then after the operation ends, and the police are going around asking people to describe the suspects, 'One of them had a cold' would be on everyone's lips. She was too smart for that.

And if she spoke to just Heather or Bryan, then they would kick her off this operation, almost immediately, under similar lines of logic.

A while later, after the two Styrofoam cups of coffee were half-empty, and Heather, Bryan and Molly had shared another several minutes of total silence, Kyron walked in.

Heather nodded to Molly, who got ready to stand up, but stopped. 'Not now...' She thought to herself. It was far too late, and she knew it.

The itch was already there.

She tried to rub her nose. Nothing. She rubbed it harder. Nothing. She sniffled. It just aggravated it. She tried every discreet method she could, to take it away. It was still coming. All she could do was just-- "He-GNK...heh...TISH-NK"

Molly opened her eyes. She was staring at the floor. She almost didn't want to look up. Stifled or not, sneezes just don't convey any form of subtlety, whatsoever. Reluctantly, she moved her head up to look at the others, sniffling. Her nose was running pretty ferociously, but one look at the glare that Heather, Bryan and Kyron were shooting at her, made her realise, that it was probably not the best time to do anything about it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Heather whispered at her

Molly started to speak, but realised the congestion in her voice wasn't much better. She hesitated, and instead gave an awkward shrug.

Heather sighed "Can you give me a proper answer?" she continues to hiss

Molly sniffled, hoping for some easement, but... no luck

"S-sdeezig" she muttered

"I got that" she replied "Why?"

"I-- I just had to--" she was cut off, by Heather, who was already getting agitated by the time.

"Save it, we have to go. Kyron."

She turned to Kyron, who handed her a small briefcase, that Molly hadn't noticed him carrying.

Heather nodded

"Remember, five minutes. Then you follow me and Molly out. Bryan, you wait for Kate"

Bryan nodded, and Kyron took a seat.

Heather and Molly both left, Heather carrying the briefcase, full of the cash they'd been promised. Molly was shaking.

----------

Kate was sat at a subway station. Despite the signs, indicating which one she was at, Kate was not going to look up. Instead she remained focused on her laptop.

She reached into her pocket for a tissue, and gave her nose a harsh blow.

Like Molly, Kate was sick. Unlike Molly, however, Kate wasn't working in the field. She could afford to be ill. "Heh...Het-SHIEW!" she sneezed, loudly into the tissue, scrumpled it up, and threw it into the bin beside her. She glanced at the clock in the corner. By her estimate, Kyron would be at the cafe by now. He would be going in five minutes. She needed to meet Bryan in fifteen.

She pulled up maps on her laptop. By good fortune, she had gotten off at the right station. Jenkins Street Station. Ten minute walk from the rendezvous. She grinned, but turned away from her laptop. Her breath faltered, and her nose itched once again "Heh...ISHEW!" she rubbed her nose, and switched back to what she was doing, for another five minutes.It wasn't too much of a chore.

Five minutes, and she already managed to obtain the security details of 635 Rike Road. The Headquarters for the massive industry, Technimo. Or, as she had come to call them recently 'those rich bastards'

Five minutes, She shut her laptop down, blew her nose, and left the station.

------

This is pretty crappy and pretty short, but I am going to try and write a third part for this. But, it'll probably take just as long for me to get around to it, since my writing is pretty shitty. Thanks for reading through this, regardless, though! Criticism and feedback would be cool and stuff.

Edited February 3, 2013 by TheMorpher