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Escaping The Palace (F) (2 parts, complete)


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Escaping the Palace (F)

Mira froze, pressing herself against the warm stonework of the palace, the beginnings of a sneeze tickling suddenly and undeniably at the back of her nose. Her large dark eyes opened wide, shimmering with the inevitable, while desperately she pressed a slender finger beneath her sharply defined nose. Relentlessly, the footsteps of the approaching guard filled her senses. Above her, the cascade of jasmine blossom spilled its torturous pollen upon her through the night-time air. And slowly, with a frenzy of hitched breaths, Mira sneezed with a ferocious blast that seemed to her as of it shook the palace to its foundations...

Inwardly she hated herself for sneezing so uncontrollably. So damned loudly! This was her only chance to escape – if she blew this then there would be no other chances, and all she could do was sneeze like thunder!? Her lack of control made her feel enraged and yet weak at the same time.

For four years she had been a prisoner in the palace. Four years of serving the Emperor and his endless legions of lecherous guests. Four years of desperately trying to control the treacherous tickling of her nose while she tried to serve the sprawled visiting dignitaries, while dressed in attire that left very little of her voluptuous figure to the depraved imagination of the palace visitors.

This had been her first opportunity, the first time the guard to her bedchambers had inexplicably not been stood resolutely outside when she had found the ornate wooden door unlocked. Without pausing to think of the consequences she had plunged out through the warm heady evening air, stealing through the shadows of the sprawling palace, aware that she would never get another chance...

...and then the sneezing had started.

It had begun with a sudden burst of rapid-fire sneezes that came upon her so quickly and forcefully that there was little she could do to smother the fit. Each sneeze had seemed to echo off the rough-hewn stone of the palace like a burst of cannon-fire, her body jerking violently to each sneeze. Despite her hands pressed desperately to her nose, they still slipped out between her fingers, as her large brown eyes screwed tightly shut with each, unstoppable release.


Blinking through her allergic tears, she looked up through the reddish evening light and saw the sun setting upon the banks of jasmine which grew in wild thickets throughout the palace gardens, spilling their pollen into the warm air. The very sight sent a trembling, tickly sensation spreading deeper inside her nose. She pinched her wide nostrils, feeling her breath rushing. Her chest rose and fell heavily as the sneezy sensation grew.

That was when she saw one of the guards, a dark figure creeping along the flagstones. She darted backwards, trying desperately to control the hitching of her breath which was becoming audible in its urgency. Her nose was almost twitching with its desire to explode and expel the torturous pollen grains, while within the diaphanous silk of her robe, her body bucked and shook with the need to find release.

He must have heard her fit! Try as she might, Mira could not control her build-up and released a shrieking gasp as the sneeze built to new heights of intensity. She clamped her hands over her mouth as more gasps escaped her, seemingly deafening in the stillness. The footsteps of the approaching guard matched her racing heartbeat. And then, all was lost.

Mira’s breath hitched in a frenzied series of falsetto gasps and she released one of her colossal screams of a sneeze which had regularly shattered the silence of the palace bedroom, or tore through the calm decorum of an imperial banquet. It left her with such force that for a moment she felt dizzy, disorientated. Echoes of the frantic sneeze ghosted away amongst the minarets and towers, now pale sentinels in the dusk.

She found herself bent double, her jet-black hair tumbling forwards over her face, sniffing weakly to quell the tickle that still danced teasingly at the back of her nose. When she looked up, she saw the guard; a look of satisfaction – and shock – plastered across his face.

‘You better come with me,’ he muttered gruffly.

To be continued...

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Escaping the Palace (F) (Part 2)

I could not help but stare at her, this delectable girl – her dark body shimmering through the gauze of her silk robe. She made an effort to stand up straighter, sniffing desperately to quell what could only be another tickle invading her powerful nose, while dark curls of hair fell away from her face as her eyes met mine. The scimitar I pointed at her wavered slightly in my grip.

‘You better...’ I began, but I could see she barely even heard me, for her eyes were already squinting shut; lashes fluttering, a definite quickening in the rise and fall of her chest. ‘I...I...’ was all she managed before another sneeze began to form in a series of increasingly high-pitched inhalations. Her gorgeous lips parted, nostrils widening with each breath. Her hands clenched at her sides, and she wound up to deliver what I knew was going to be a truly earth shattering sneeze.


The girl delivered the sneeze with every ounce of power in her body, her profusion of dark hair whipping forwards across her shoulders. As if in protest at her capture, she refused to make any attempt to smother or stifle it, as if by unleashing the full force involuntary explosion, she would have been able to blast me from sight and so continue her futile escape.

But my mouth was dry at the vision of this sneezing temptress, a curious warm tremble running through my core. And staring at her along the now distinctly trembling length of the scimitar, I realised that all I wanted was for her to deliver another thunderous sneeze, and for me to watch her as the evening’s heat blossomed around us.

‘I suppose,’ she whispered, her voice heavy with oncoming sneezes, ‘that you are going to force me back. You lapdogs of the emperor are all the same.’ She sniffed contemptuously, rubbing a finger against the tip of her nose. Those large, dark eyes swam with allergic tears.

‘Err...’ I said, my sense of authority tumbling around me. Never before had a felt so struck dumb, so helplessly at a loss. She brought both her hands up, covering her mouth and nose, her wide expressive eyes glowering at me over her fingertips. They fluttered, and I saw she was trying to hide yet another cataclysmic build-up from me, trying desperately to regain some of her tattered self-control.

‘Haaa...aaaaah,’ she began. Her eyes squeezed shut, he body moving seductively in rhythm with the building sneeze. Seductively; I could not think of it as anything else. I both anticipated and dreaded what was about to happen.

With a sudden inhalation that sounded almost as a shriek, she rocketed forwards, delivering a stream of barely controlled explosions into the cupped nest of her hands. My eyes travelled the rich curves of her hips, which jerked frantically with each sneeze that came barrelling out of her delectable frame.


Like a fusillade of cannon-fire, her sneezes echoed around the courtyard, causing roosting birds to flap from their eyries in alarm. She was so utterly powerless, so helpless in the grip of her unstoppable bout that all I wanted to do in that moment was reach out to her and clasp her, sneezing wildly against my chest until the fit abated. But still I was rooted to the spot, all thoughts of my duty deserted. I watched her struggle to rub the torturous itch from her nostrils, her palms making little desperate circles against the tip of her nose.

And all of a sudden, the thought of his master, the Emperor having this woman all to himself, serving out his every whim, was too much for me to contemplate. A woman like this needed to be free – free so that some day she may meet a lowly palace guard, off duty in the city. A guard who would appreciate her for her beauty, her pride and even her colossal sneezy fits.

As she shuddered with the further urge to sneeze, I finally overcame my paralysis. Taking her arm I led her through the gathering gloom, flitting from ornate column to shadowed arch, while all the while she gasped and hitched in breath at my side, sometimes squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her expensive silks to her nose when the urge to sneeze threatened to overwhelm her.

At last, the side gate. I fumbled with the keys, while she stared at me her realisation and gratitude fighting a losing battle in her eyes, with the truly eruptive force that was gathering in her sinuses. As the gate creaked open, I pushed her through, pausing long enough to look into her face, to capture the perfection of her pre-sneeze expression.

‘Run now – and don’t look back,’ I gasped, stunned at my own foolishness and yet drunk on it. ‘And...and...look for me in the city....I’ll be looking for you.’

‘Thaaaaa....thank you,’ she managed before turning and running swiftly down the dusty hillside below the palace’s glowering battlements.

She got at least to the line of trees, vanishing into the darkness, before the sneezing started. It echoed up through the warm air, sneeze after violent sneeze, barely muffled by distance. I hoped she would get them under control before the search for her began. But then, part of me could have listened to her forever.

The End

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