Long-distance relationships~

[Mash]

I sincerely hope this is the right area for this... but here goes.

Who all here is in a long-distance relationship? How you met essentially doesn't matter. Whether you met over the net, and are arranging meetings in person, or are just away from your significant other.

Is it working for you? Are you happy with it? Are there things you regret about it?

I've been in a relationship with a girl I really like who lives across the country for several months now. I've been having a really enjoyable time with it. I do most of my social interaction over the net anyways, so this isn't terribly new for me. The only problem I'm facing is of course, the time zone issue. She's only three hours ahead of me, but that difference can be a killer sometimes.

[tma]

Actually long distance is why my hubby and I committed sooner than we had thought. Of course- that was back in the *GASP* semi-pre-internet days (mid-90s). We anticipated being half the US away from each other for at Least a year and we decided that we needed to "fish or cut bait" (i.e.- either be just friends or make a solid commitment). Now that I've gotten to know a lot of great friends through here, I think that I could probably navigate that type of a relationship a bit better than I would have being able to back 17 years ago.

Time difference can be a pain. Hope that everything works out.

[Anonymouse]

I first met my boyfriend our first year in high school. We didn't date then, but we both liked each other. He ended up moving halfway through freshman year and I didn't really hear from him again after that until a few years after Facebook had first gotten popular. I friended him thinking he was another friend of mine from high school and nearly shat myself when I realized it was the kid I had a crush on freshman year. He was in a relationship but they broke up after a month of dating and soon after we "got together" online, after admitting to me in a Facebook message he had a crush on me back in high school. His ex kept harassing me and telling me I was just a rebound... but we're still together three years later.

I'd say about half of our relationship so far was spent long-distance, as I was in my sophomore year at a college two-and-a-half miles away when we first reconnected. It was tough on me after a while, especially after one summer I went to study abroad in England for five weeks with a group of students from my college. My ex happened to be one of the people going, and he and I were never really that serious though we are good (platonic) friends, but it made my boyfriend uneasy all the same. Luckily we had Skype, and at college we spoke on the phone at least every other day and texted/IMed constantly.

If you think there's a solid chance of getting together physically in the future and staying that way, then long-distance relationships are definitely worth it, especially if you really like the person and believe the wait will be worth it. I totally sympathize with the time zone thing, as I was five or seven (can't remember) hours ahead in England, but my boyfriend sleeps at odd times anyway so it wasn't too much of a problem.

I hope everything works out with you two!

[Mash]

There's definitely a possibility of this becoming a physical relationship. It'll take some time (hopefully not more than a couple years) and a fat wad of starter cash, but the possibility is there. I don't have any pre-existing obligations to worry about, luckily.

So far we've only been able to stay in contact via Yahoo, or in her case the yahoo-text thing she has on her phone, but it's working out. I don't mind it, in any case, and I think she's too busy with stuff at the moment to give it too much thought. xP

Thanks for the responses, guys.

[Pearlised]

I did have one.

There are some serious advantages and disadvantages which I think you can't grasp until you go through it. But it can be just as intense as a regular relationship.

Also, I would advise against it. But of course feel free to completely regard that.

I regret starting as I knew we couldnt last and I feel I 'lead him on'. Thats just my experience though. If you have any other q's feel free to ask

[March Hare]

I'm going to be in one... at least, I consider it a long-distance relationship, although I know the majority of you will probably go "WTF, that does SO not count!"

My man is moving to a different town. That's right, he'll be THREE HOURS AWAY. (That's by public transport.) Plus, he'll come home every weekend. Plus it's only for nine months, one year at most. And still I feel as though he is going sooo far away for sooo damn long Oh the joys of living in this tiny country with its completely bloody ridiculous bus and train fares!

I guess it all depends on what you're used to. And what I'm used to is being with him for a goodish part of every day. Cry me a fucking river, right?

[tma]

I guess it all depends on what you're used to. And what I'm used to is being with him for a goodish part of every day.

Awww!! That is sweet! Plus- I'm sure that it would be tough.

I'm such a sap that when my hubby is gone overnight (which doesn't happen that often) it is really hard for me to go to sleep. Even though most of the time we actually go to bed at different times. It just feels weird and not right that he isn't home. So... yeah- I'll join you in the "sap" club, Maru.

[SusieQusie]

I was for 3 years. It worked for us, but I personally got a lot of criticism for dating someone who lived so far away. A lot of people just don't understand why someone would want to do that, or what would make it work. It worked because we love each other. Plain and simple. We also both value our personal space and privacy. We live together now, but sometimes it still seems like we're apart because we work different schedules. A lot of people feel bad for us...but they don't need to. We make time.