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Hide and Go Sneeze


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First time writing something like this. Let me know what works. :)

Kelly slid into place behind an old wooden barrel, in back of the equipment shed.

It had seemed like the best place, given that she was still pretty new to the campus. Freshman orientation had finished off with a game night, sort of a 'everybody getting to know everybody else' affair. There had been card games, board games, one group of masochists wanting to play kickball, and then someone had loudly proclaimed, "Anyone up for a round of hide and seek?" It had been one of her favorites in grade school, and Kelly jumped at the chance to take one last shot at it. She pushed her dark-blonde hair out of her face once again as she jogged over to the small group of potential players. The initiator, 'Sharon', she remembered her name being, was asking for a volunteer to be 'It'. When no one took the offer (Kelly had always been a much better hider than a seeker), Sharon, as she put it, "humbly took the duty upon herself." She covered her eyes, started counting to a hundred, and everybody bolted.

As she ran out of the Rec building, Kelly's mind went completely blank. For the life of her, she couldn't think of a good hiding spot. She looked around in a panic, finally spotting the old equipment shed, just a few yards off, over by the sports fields. In her mind, Sharon could come out any minute! She sprinted over to the building, sliding behind the barrel just as she heard Sharon announce, "Ready or not, here I come!"

Looking at her surroundings for the first time, she realized that the custodian should really be taking better care of the place. The rakes in the storage barrel looked a bit rusty, and there was a faint smell of must in the air. She focused on listening for Sharon, occasionally hearing a footstep from far off. She was so focused, in fact, that she didn't even notice that first tingle from deep in her left nostril. The second barely registered. It wasn't until her nose actually twitched that she suddenly realized what was happening.

And for the second time that night, she started panicking. Puberty had been quite good to Kelly: her legs had lengthened gracefully, her face had a natural beauty to it, and her chest had swelled to the extent that, well, she'd been quite the center of attention until she'd learned to cut back on the skin-tight shirts. But so (at least in her mind) had her lung capacity increased. She'd developed a few allergies around 10th grade, and her massive sneezes had managed to badly startle family members, neighbors, and at least one flock of geese before she'd started taking a potent antihistamine. She didn't sneeze often, now, to her immense relief. But the medicine had no effect on regular odors, and the slight mildew smell in the air had started brewing up a massive storm inside of her sinuses.

One sneeze, she knew, was all it would take to end the game. She promptly brought her finger up under her nose, and gave it a good rub. That helped, some. There was still a tingling feeling, deep within, but it was stalled for the time being. She suddenly realized she hadn't heard any sound from Sharon for awhile, and she craned her neck around to listen more closely. Which also put her nose right next to the barrel. She sucked in an involuntary gasp as her nostrils flared, fuming with the potency of the rapidly-growing tickle. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy, her breathing getting deeper. She could hear the faintest 'Heh....heh...", knowing that it was going to get a whole lot louder if she didn't do something fast! She pinched her nose shut, but that only seemed to condense the tickle, pushing it back again, but making it a whole lot stronger. She rubbed her nose frantically, trying to force her breathing back to normal, but to no avail. The tingling was back again, and growing to slowly fill every inch of her delicate nose. She knew now that there was no beating this thing, but she was determined to hold it back as long as possible. At least let Sharon catch somebody else before she blew her cover! It was coming, though. She could feel her chest filling, pushing against her shirt with each intake of breath. "Heh.....ah.....hih....." There was no doubt, this would be a big one.

A twig snapped from about three feet away. Startled, Kelly looked through a crack in the barrel, and there, right on the other side, was Sharon! Luckily, she couldn't see Kelly, and the adrenaline surge from the twig snap seemed to have scared the sneeze away! For the first time since the game had started, things seemed to be going her way! As Sharon turned and started walking away, Kelly relaxed. And the tickle came instantly roaring back, bigger and angrier than ever at being stifled this long. Kelly let out a tiny gasp, and Sharon cocked her head, listening. It was like nothing Kelly had ever experienced. She could actually feel the flesh of her nose crawling with sneeziness. It felt as though a featherbed had been ripped open in her head, and every inch of her nasal membrane scattered with the tickly, teasy things. She clapped both hands to her face, rubbing her nose and struggling mightily to hold on.

Sharon was still standing there, listening. If only in her head, Kelly could hear her desperate inhalations increasing. "Ich....eh...heh....heeehh", rising to the ear-shattering blast that was sure to follow. She was taking deeper and deeper breaths, her chest straining against the repressive structure of her shirt. "Heh...hah...haaah..." And then the tickle came to a head. It was as if one of those feather had fallen, ever so gently, onto that single most sensitive part of her nose, and set off the massive avalanche that had been so long repressed. There was no fighting this thing now. "Hah...HaaAAAH....HIIII..." Sharon had turned towards her, victory in her eyes, but Kelly simply didn't care. "HEEEE....HEH....HAH-CHOOOOO!!!" The silence of the night was split. Her nose, still apparently embittered by the whole episode, required two more massive eruptions "HIII-CHOOO!!! HAH-CHOOO!!!" before allowing her any peace.

Sharon walked over to her, put her hand on her shoulder, and calmly stated, "I think you'd better be 'It' from now on". Kelly had no argument for that.

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I'm usually not into female sneezing, but this is really well written! Fantastic build up here :D

Good work~!

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  • 1 month later...

Sneezing while hiding is a fun theme, and hide-and-seek is a pretty good way to make it happen, isn't it? :D Good job here, hope to see more from ya!

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