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Misty Mountain Sneezing


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Based on a true story...

It had been a long year for both of us. I had actually miscarried twice: a toll that had wreaked havoc on our marriage. Sam had been working crazy hours lately, and had been super stressed. He's not typically a guy that complains with words, but, rather, it comes out in strangled gasps here and there. Not literal gasps, but in small explosions over nothing around the house, or sometimes, just in silence. which is why this particular aliment was especially difficult for him. He's never been the type to call attention to himself, and he's always, as long as I've known him, been uncomfortable being in the spotlight or nurtured.

We'd decided to plan a little vacation. He couldn't spend too much time away. He had an entire network of television depending on him, but we could get away for a couple days, as long as we were in cell phone range and had wifi. The Adirondacks seemed like a natural choice - being only a couple hours away from the city. Plus when Sam and I were dating, hiking was our preferred method of courtship. We could take the dogs, too, a huge plus for both of us.

Escaping traffic proved to be a bit perilous for both of us. He wasn't haivng my input, and his stubbornness was wearing on me as well. By the time we got up to the cabin I was ready for a hot bath, a glass of wine and a book. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with him, it's just that I didn't want to see him for the rest of that night.

"I've got your overnight, do you have anything else?" he called, unloading the last of everything.

I didn't answer because I knew he knew the answer already. The only function that question served was to prove to me that he was working harder, and he loved to play the martyr. I wasn't playing along. I was exploring our new weekend digs, and frankly, was impressed. The bathroom had a brand new jacuzzi, and I couldn't wait to take it for a test drive. I was still exploring the features of the bathroom when I heard Sam in the adjoining bedroom unloading our luggage. I came into the bedroom to grab my robe and toiletries, and I saw him squinting at the light, eyes half shut in that tell tale sign.


Sam's not usually a big sneezer, and he rarely sneezes more than once in a row. I blessed him perfunctorially, and grabbed my bag from his hand. I started to undress, and then it happened again -



He ignored me, so I ignored him. I went into the bathroom to take a bath and give us both time to cool off. As the door shut behind me, I heard this:

EEEmmpCHOOO, (inhale) CHOOO. FUCK.

This piqued my interest for like half a second, but I was so annoyed with him, I ignored it. In the bathtub, and after a glass of wine, I started to cool off, so to speak. I knew he didn't want to be like this. I certainly didn't. All these circumstances were merely things happening, we loved each other enough to get through this. I came out of that bath with a clear head an open mind to talk things through and approach a resolution. But, knowing him and his thick head, not expecting much.

I got dressed and headed out to the kitchen to start dinner. Sam was hunched over the table on his laptop, his back to me. He sniffled wetly as I walked toward him. sidling up behind him furtively, maybe even creepily. I put my arm around his waist and whispered into his ear. "Babe, let's start this weekend over. What say you?"

He looked up and smiled at me. I kissed him on the mouth, passionately. I couldn't remember the last time we'd kissed like that. I pulled away to start dinner. as I started toward the kitchen I heard:


"Bless you, babe. You ok? You've been sneezing a lot." I watched him struggle to supress the next two. He literally shook.


"Sure," he continued to type furiously. He's ever been a complainer.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed.

"Sam?" I called, listening for any sign of him. The night before had been amazing, so I figured he was making breakfast to revitalize both of us in bed. I was wrong. then i heard a sound I couldn't quite place. I got up and followed it, it kept repeating itself in a very methodical and quiet manner. I started walking down the hall, as it got louder and louder

nxxxtCHmphh, HAnxxxtCHmpph, HEEEnxxtCHmph, HAEEEEESHnnnxtc

I stopped dead outside the bathroom door. I'd never seen Sam sneeze like this in my life. As far as I knew he didn't have any allergies. and when he's sick, it's just really loud, harsh single sneezes. WHAT was this? Had he been holding out on me this whole time?? And how much would my affection for this affliction creep him out? As I weighed this in my head, I lost myself for a second, until this happened.

He grabbed a pile of tissues and unleashed this: HEEEEnxxtCHU, HA-nnxxxxxtxhmpf, nxxxxtCHU, CHOO, CHOO, HAnxxxt, HAnxxxtCHOO. He paused to grab his breath, and I could see the tears streaming down his face in the mirror. I was so fucking hot, I couldn't even breathe. He resumed his fit, attempting to stifle them so I wouldn't hear, but he couldn't help it. The power of his sneezes were more powerful than his ability to stifle HAAAA-nxxxtch, HEEE-shoo, HAREEEEE-shoo, HAAAAAASHOOOOOOO, SHOOOOOO, CHOOO, cHOOO, CHOOO (sharp inhale) HARESHOOOOOO

I couldn't fight it anymore. I rushed the scene.


"Babe, you ok? What's happening?"

He turned and triend to answer, but gave up immediately. HAAAA-nxxxtchOO, HAAAnxxxtchOOO, HEEEESHOOOO. He bent at the waist, tears streaming down his face. I took his face in my hands and he tried to pull away. constrained, he sneezed a little more subdued HEEEnxxttchmph, HEEEnxtttchmph HEEE- HEEE- foiled by my interference, his sneezes abated for a hot second. I released my grip on his face, and he gave in fully, unable to control them, in a display I have never witnessed. HAAAAAAAAAASCHOOOO, HAAAARESHHHHHHOOOOOO, he turned around, embarrassed. the towel dropped from around his waist and he stood there naked, facing the wall, vulnerable and helplessly allergic, sneezing helplessly. HAAAAAAACHOOOOO, HEEEEEEEEEnxxxtmpf, HAREEEEEEEEmpf, HAAAAACHOOOO, CHOO, CHOOO, nxxxmpf, nxxxmpf, HAnxxmpf, HEEEEEnxxmpf, HARESSSSSSH, HARESSSSSSSh, HAREEEEEESH, EEEEESH, EEEEESSSH, HAAAAAAEEEEESH

He took a breath and for a few minutes the sneezing seemed to relent.

Panting, he leaned against the wall and slid all the way down until he was sitting on the floor. I ran up to him and snuggled up next to him, putting my hand on his chest, his head, and pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Babe, are you ok? What was that? I never knew you had allergies... Especially like that."

He seemed embarrassed. He blew his nose in the towel at his feet. Several times. Then he finally brought his eyes to meet mine, and just as he seemed ready to speak. HEEEExxxncht. HAAARSCHOOO. It seemed to take the last shreds of energy out of him. Congested and exhausted, he offered a vague explanation, "Yeah. I'm sorry. I thought I was over it."

to be continued...

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So sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time recently. You have my sympathies, I have been there myself.

I notice that you, too, are new to the ranks here, I find it is fantastic escapism that is personal to you. (I am quite addicted now)

Your writing is good - do continue, looking forward to seeing more!

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I would like very much to read this story, and I've tried, but to be brutally honest: that minuscule font is giving me an eye-ache. Might I trouble you to make it a bit bigger...?

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I would like very much to read this story, and I've tried, but to be brutally honest: that minuscule font is giving me an eye-ache. Might I trouble you to make it a bit bigger...?

Yeah. I had to copy paste it on a word page and expand it but then it was ok and I liked it very much! Can't wait to read more :)

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