The Vineyard

[Zwee]

Once upon a time, about 500 years ago, I promised SexualOddity an allergic Sam story in gratitude for literally every single one of her stories being perfect. And also, because allergic Sam is her favorite. This story is not as good as any of hers, but I think it's sort of cute, and I hope all you readers out there think so too! Okay, here goes!

~*~

It was a beautiful day by any standards. The sky was clear and displayed a rich azure color that no amount of watercolor could ever match. It was warm too, the sun illuminating the flowers so they became bright blurs of color as the Impala drove smoothly by. It was such a beautiful day, in fact, that it seemed no one could be in a bad mood. Dean hummed along with his cassette tape, head bobbing and eyes squinted against the brightness. He glanced over, seeing that his younger brother must have been the exception to the rule. Sam’s eyes were screwed up, and he was hunched over in his seat with an irritated expression on.

“You okay?”

“Hhh… y-yeah. Ehh…Hhht-tchew.”

“Gesundheit.”

Sam sniffled into the sleeve he’d hastily thrown up to block the itchy sneeze. “Thanks.” He murmured, rubbing his nose. “Take a left here.” He added, nodding to the road that would take them up to Richmond Estate Winery.

Dean turned up the large hill, listening to the sound of his car’s engine as she powered up the steep incline.

After a few minutes of silence in the car, Sam sneezed again into his elbow, more forcefully. “Hehh’CHUH! Huhh’EHschhoo!” He groaned quietly, beginning to dig through the glove compartment for some tissues. He made do with a paper napkin, breath hitching again. “Hhh… Ehh… Ugh. Huhhh’ktschh! Ktschh’ew! Hhht’tschhew!”

“Christ. Bless you.” Dean’s eyes roamed over his brother in concern, scrutinizing.

“Thanks, sorry.” He mumbled, scrubbing at his nose impatiently. “Dean, watch the road!”

They had a near miss with a shiny Mercedes Benz, and Dean sheepishly concentrated on driving for the next few minutes until they reached the well manicured lawn surrounding the parking lot of the winery.

To Sam’s dismay, there were flowers blooming everywhere. Puffs of cottonwood from the trees floated through the air, and he could practically see the clouds of pollen coming his way on the light gusts of the warm summer breeze. He really, really didn’t want to open the door to the car.

“Come on, Sammy.” Dean prompted, when he noticed his brother hadn’t even unbuckled.

“Coming.” Sam threw open his door and stepped out, holding his breath. His nose was already tickling. He bent with three more itchy sneezes and groaned. “Hhp-tschoo! Heh-hetchhhuh! Tsh-sh-SHHew!”

“Bless you.” Dean said, examining their surroundings. “How’s the pollen count today?”

“High.” Sam answered miserably.

“You take anything this morning?”

“Just a little bit of the crappy non-drowsy stuff. I wanted to be ahhhawake for the ihhhinterview—uhh… Huptschoo! Never works anyway.”

“Damn.” Dean ducked back in the car, grabbing a stack of napkins for his brother. He then headed for the door of the winery, praying it would be better inside. Sam followed, stuffing the makeshift tissues into his pocket and sniffling.

There were flower arrangements from the gardens everywhere, but the air conditioning was nice, and all the windows were closed, to both brothers’ relief.

Sam avoided a vase of powdery-looking flowers as they walked up to the front desk. He knew normally they wouldn’t have bothered him much, but the high pollen count and the fact that he hadn’t taken any real medicine made it so that his nose was ridiculously sensitive; he figured anything at this point might set him off.

“Are you here for the wine and chocolate tasting tour?” Asked the woman behind the desk pleasantly, surveying their suits with interest.

Dean looked as if he wanted to say yes, but Sam cut him off. “No, we’re here to speak to the owner, Mr. Richmond.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

Sam and Dean exchanged glances, then made identical movements for their jackets’ inside pockets, each producing a badge.

“Oh! I’ll see if he’s in.” she pressed a button and tapped her earpiece. “Is Mr. Richmond in? Oh, good. Will you tell him we have two agents here to see him about the— the... incident, I presume?” She waited, giving them a smile. “He says go on up.” She told the brothers, motioning toward the elevator. “He’s at the top floor.”

They followed her directions, and pressed the top button. As soon as the doors closed, Sam turned away from the older one, cupping his hands over his face.

“Hehh-kktchsh! Etchsh-shsh! Etchshch-uhh! Atshch! Hehhaashshoo!”

Dean frowned in concern. “Jesus.”

“Huhh… huh-huh- HETCHshoo! Ugh.” Sam pulled a napkin from his pocket to blow his nose.

“You sure you’re up to this?”

“It’s just one interview, right?” He sniffled.

“I mean… we should check out the scene of the crime, test for EMF, I don’t know… Maybe talk to the family, too.” Dean didn’t really want to admit that there were lots of things he’d been hoping to find out from the visit.

“Great.” Sam sighed. He gave his nose one last rub before nodding a few times. “Fine, I’ll be okay.”

The doors opened, and Mr. Richmond’s personal assistant ushered them into chairs in front of an enormous desk. She pushed a strand of her shiny red waves away from her face, and smiled. Dean grinned right back, unabashedly sliding his eyes down her figure.

“Mr. Richmond will be in to see you in a moment.” She said before exiting the room.

The owner of Richmond Estate was a large man in every sense of the word. He was tall (possibly taller, even, than Sam), muscular, wide, and had a big ego. His Italian suit looked well-kept, and his patent leather shoes shone brightly. His smile was large and inviting, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Throughout the interview, his face remained impassive, and his cold, dark eyes gave off a feeling of power. None of his answers seemed insincere, and he didn’t scoff much at the questions. Dean didn’t delve into the really weird ones. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this man could have them thrown from the estate if he doubted their identities even a bit.

Sam rarely spoke, but instead concentrated all of his will power on not sneezing. Despite these efforts, he didn’t do very well with his goal. The conversation was punctuated often with his breathy, allergic outbursts. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer, excusing himself to find privacy in the hall. Eyes streaming, he leaned against the wall, dizzy and breathless.

“HatshchSHUH! Heh-heh-HEHHtshhuh! Hishchshoo! Hih-hitchoo. Hetchsh-uh! Itchshuh! Hehshch-uh! Etchshch! Ehhtch-eshh! Hehh-ehhhTSCHOO!” He muffled the fit into a handful of napkins, gasping. After a few moments, he recovered and returned to the room, rather abashed and very much hoping the secretary hadn’t heard him.

What felt to Sam like hours later, they concluded the inquiry and headed back down in the elevator.

“Sammy.” Dean said firmly as soon as the doors had closed.

“Huh?”

“Let’s just come back another day. When you’ve actually taken your allergy meds, and the pollen count isn’t so ridiculous.”

“No, Dean, I’m fine. I can make it another couple of hours. It’s not that bad.” This was very unconvincing, especially because Sam’s voice had been reduced to a hoarse, congested version of his normal tone.

“Seriously? You look about ready to drop, and you can’t go two minutes without sneezing.”

As if to prove this, Sam pitched forward with a double. “Huhh’ktsch! Huptschhuh!”

“It’s fine, man. We’ll just finish up tomorrow or something. That way I’ll be able to get that secretary’s number anyway.” He winked, grinning.

Sam heaved a sigh. “Yeah, fine. Huptschh!”

“Gesundheit.”

“Thanks.” He sniffled.

~*~

Wowwwww... I think I like writing allergic Sam, because I can make him sneeze TONS without it seeming too ridiculous!

Haha, okay, let me know if you like it so far! There will be more.

[GoldenOwl]

This is wonderful! Keep it up

[SexualOddity]

I so totally did remember! IN FACT I saw the topic on the recent topics list and thought 'Ooooh Zwee fic!' And then I got really excited and wondered if it was allergySam. AND THEN IT WAS! AND THEN... AND THEN... IT WAS AWESOME!

I am writing you a numbered list lady...

1. Allergic-interrupty-talkie-Sam is yum!

2. I LOVE YOUR SPELLINGS! They sound so tickly. And they're all different without sounding like they wouldn't be frome the same person.

3. The way you talk about the clouds of pollen and the dusty flowers and the puffs of cottonwood. Man, it even SOUNDS itchy! And poor Sam not wanting to open up the car door!

4. Hee! Dean wanted to go on a wine and chocolate tasting tour.

5. Aww Dean wanted to do all the things while they were there (which is awesome because, well, more allergic Sam) but he felt so guilty about it (which is awesome because it's ADORABLE)

6. Sam stoically (sp?) powering through. It's sexy.

7. Embarrassed Sammy!

8. Hoarse, congested Sammy!

9. "Wowwwww... I think I like writing allergic Sam, because I can make him sneeze TONS without it seeming too ridiculous!"

RIGHT? Welcome to my world, lol!

10. *This is an approximation of my reaction*

"Haha, okay, let me know if you like it so far!"

SO FAR? DID SHE SAY 'SO FAR????'

There will be more.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!

*Dances round living room*

Thank you so much for writing this!

[Ciuty80]

this was just soooooo AWESOME!!!!! i it

please MUCH more!!!!

[Sawyer]

Ohmygod Zwee omg Dean is all concerned sweet big brother and I love how he switches from gesundheit to bless you when he gets more worried and omg and calling him "Sammy" and Sam is just like "no no I'm fine" and so embarrassed by sneezing every minute all the time and talking while trying to sneeze and oh Zwee you are the best~

[AsylumFlower]

I love this!! <333 (I mean, it's allergic!Sammy...

The conversation was punctuated often with his breathy, allergic outbursts. this is like the best line ever...

MOAR?!

[27jj]

BREATHY ALLERGIC OUTBURSTS

IS THIS REAL LIFE

[Zwee]

Hello lovely readers! It feels like I've been away from you for so long! I have to apologize and give you excuses you probably don't need. I've been the busiest person for the past week (few weeks? Has it been more than one?) and then, as soon as I got a free moment, my computer decided it would be great to stop working. And then I had internet troubles, and I got a new modem and a new keyboard, and now I feel rejuvenated and ready to post the next chapter of my story for you!

So... yay? So sorry it's been a while. I'm running on about 2 hours of sleep, so I haven't had a chance to reply to your comments individually yet, but I will! Tomorrow night!

Happy Halloween and enjoy:

~*~

Sam sought refuge in the Impala, burying his nose in the tissues Dean had stolen from the front desk. He was in the midst of a breathless sneezing fit when his older brother clambered in beside him and started up the car.

“Huhh-kktshhch! Heh-etschhhuh! Hihh-hitchshoo! Uhh-hutschh! Ihhh… Hehh… Heh-heh-hetschh’UH!”

“Jesus. It’s a good thing we left when we did. I don’t think you could have lasted much longer in there.”

Sam gave a pitiful moan, blowing his nose as softly as he could and blushing furiously.

“You gonna be okay?”

“M’fine.” The younger one muttered, buckling his seatbelt as they drove down the steep hill and away from the allergy-inducing estate.

Five minutes later, Sam was sleeping. He’d been thoroughly exhausted from that day’s troubles, and his eyes had been itchy and gritty, so he decided to just close them for a while.

Dean looked at his sleeping brother, smiling affectionately. He felt bad that Sam’s allergies had been so awful, and especially for making him come out to the most pollinated place on Earth for a simple interview, on the day of the highest pollen count that year.

He began searching for a place to buy Sam some allergy medicine, but the road was narrow and barren. He doubted there was a convenience store for miles. The sun was just beginning to touch the horizon, and he looked out at the ridiculously vivid sunset unfolding before him. It really had been a beautiful day, he thought.

Resigned to listen to Sam’s stuffy sniffles for the next hour, Dean relaxed in his seat, turned on some music with the volume on low, and settled in for a long ride.

Dean was so preoccupied with making sure Sam was still breathing every five seconds, he didn’t notice he was running dangerously low on gas. When the car began to sputter and slow down, Dean’s eyes scanned expertly over the dashboard for any signal light and immediately saw the needle was on Empty.

He let out a string of curses, which woke Sam, and pulled off the road.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked stuffily, before sneezing. “HH-hhitchhew. HutSHUH!”

“We’re out of friggin’ gas, Sam. Damn it!”

“Oh.” Sam’s eyes grew wide. “Oh. Oh shit. Shit! Dean, this is really really bad.”

Dean frowned. Being out of gas was a huge inconvenience, but they’d spent their share of nights in the Impala before, and, although

Dean paid perfect attention to his baby, this wasn’t the first time they’d run out of gas. He didn’t realize why Sam looked so devastated until he looked around.

They were surrounded by cottonwood trees and pollen-dusted flowers and a gentle breeze was blowing more powdery, itchy things their way as they watched.

“Fuck, Sammy, I didn’t think about that. This is worse than I thought.”

Sam looked like he was about to cry. He sneezed again, harder. “HatschchSHUH! Heh-heh-EHHtshuh! Huh-TCHOO!” His breath was now coming in wheezes.

“Hey, hey, deep breaths. You’ll be fine. We’ll keep the windows closed, and things might settle down as it gets later, right?” Dean tried to reason with his younger brother, whose red-rimmed eyes were filled with allergic tears.

“They might.” Sam answered, but he didn’t sound hopeful. “Ktsch-uh!” He pulled his laptop into his lap. “I’ll look up the nearest towing company, okay?”

Five minutes later, Dean was cursing loudly. “No service. We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, my baby’s starved half to death, and you’re having an allergy attack. Perfect. Just friggin’ perfect.”

“Hihh-ihh-tshuuhh! Het’SCHH-uh! Sorry, Dean.” Sam muttered.

“Shut up. You know that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to be sitting here dying.”

“Yeah, but if I wasn’t… ‘sitting here dying’” he quoted, “then you probably would have been paying more attention to the Impala, and we probably wouldn’t have run out of gas.”

“Sam. I mean it. Do not try to make this your fault.”

The younger one sighed, before his breath hitched again, and he sent a flurry of sneezes into his cupped hands. “Hptsch! Huh-hitschhuh! HEh-tschshoo! Hihhh’hitshch! Hht-kshchoo! Hehh-hetkschoo!” He scrubbed his itchy eyes, cheeks wet with tears from his frequent sneezing.

“Shit. Bless you. We really need more tissues in here. I wonder if there’s any in the first aid kit.” Dean mused aloud, and Sam seemed to perk up at the thought of tissues.

“Do you think?” He asked, sounding hopeful.

Dean grabbed the giant kit from the trunk, finding an old Kleenex box squished beneath the mostly-empty bottles of whisky and cough syrup.

“You’re in luck, Sammy.” Dean handed him the flattened box, and Sam pulled out a tissue, sneezing into it immediately, as if just the thought of using the tissue made his nose tickle.

“HEH-tschshuh! Huh-kkitsch!” He blew his nose, and, to his relief, the itch seemed to have subsided for the moment. “Thanks, Dean.” He said, wiping his eyes and sighing.

“Yeah, yeah. Just, don’t use them all at once. Soon as it gets light outside, I’m gonna walk up a ways and look for service.”

Darkness had fallen. Sam’s sniffling grew significantly less over the next few hours, and even his itchy sneezes were fewer and far between.

“Feeling okay, Sammy?” Dean wanted to know.

“Better, I guess.” Sam replied stuffily, rubbing at his nose with a sleeve.

“Well, better’s good.”

“Yeah. Hht-kkschhoo!”

“Wish you’d brought your meds, Sam.”

“Next time.” Sam mumbled, beginning to sound sleepy.

“Hey, you can crash in the back, if you want.”

“Really? Thanks, Dean. You in front?”

“Yeah. I’ll survive.”

So that was what they did, Sam trying to fold his lanky form into the cramped backseat, while Dean reclined the front bench seat in order to achieve some semblance of comfort. Soon, both brothers were fast asleep.

~*~

Yep, I like writing allergic Sam. A lot. Everyone have lovely weeks. Hopefully yours will be less busy than mine are bound to be.

[SexualOddity]

You... are delightfully cruel. Don't stop. *Grins*

Also, I am VERY happy that you are enjoying writing allergic Sam. Let me know if I can do anything to encourage you in that pursuit

This is SUCH an awesome giftfic. You are the greatest.

[Zwee]

Okay, thank you everyone so SO much for your lovely reviews:

@ralala: Thank you! I'm so glad you think so!

@SexualOddity: Okay, why are you so amazing!? I can't take it. I'm SO glad you liked it, because I think I like writing allergic Sam, so... there will probably be more in the future... and I enjoy making people happy! Thank you so infinitely much.

@Ciuty80: Ummm i you for replying to this story! Thank youuu!

@Sen Beret: Ahh, I'm so happy you liked it! I didn't even think of the "gesundheit" to "bless you" thing, but you're totally right. I think I do that subconsciously. Thanks!

@AsylumFlower: I'm happy you love it! Heehee, yes moar!

@27jj: Hee, I liked writing that line...

@SexualOddity (again): Okay, I won't stop! I have about 2 chapters left. And another idea floating around... You're actually the greatest.

[Always-a-Ginger]

Aww so cute! So well done. You write Sam so well!

[Zwee]

First of all:

@Always-a-Ginger: I write Sam well?? Thank you! I can't even believe it! I'm glad you like it!

Okay, and second:

Hello my lovely readers! I'm hoping I haven't scared you all off by my lack of updates!! I have one for you here. It's the last chapter. I've condensed the last two reaaaaally short chapters I wrote into one longish one. In some ways that sucks, but in other ways, it's great! At least you won't have to wait for my bipolar internet to work anymore! Right?

Well, anyway, here's the last chapter! I reaaaally hope you guys like it.

~*~

Sam awoke less than an hour later, unable to breathe. He scrabbled for a tissue, nose already itching with allergic sneezes begging to be released. He glanced over at Dean, eyes watering. His brother slept on, not bothered by the effects of springtime.

Nose twitching, he finally found a napkin beneath the seat and buried his nose into it in relief. “Hhht-tchxxt!! Huhhh’nggxt! Huh-huh-huh-HUHnggxt-uhh!” Stifling was unpleasant, and gave him no relief from his itching nose, but Sam was determined not to wake his brother.

A beat of silence passed before the younger Winchester’s breath hitched again. “Ihhh… Huh-ih!” He knew he wouldn’t be able to stifle the next set.

Sam’s fingers found the door handle, and he slipped out of the car, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He stumbled, half blinded by allergic tears, and gripped the car for support, sneezing hard.

“HUH’TSCCHOO! Huhhh’TSSHH’uhh! Huh-huh-huh-IIITSSHHHEW! Huh’ETSSHH! Tscchuuuh! Huh’kitschhuh!” Sam dug out another tissue, blowing his nose. In retrospect, escaping the car for the outside air wasn’t such a good idea, but it didn’t seem to be making much of a difference now that night had fallen.

After another fit of sneezes, Sam decided he was done for the moment, and he slipped quietly back into the car. Dean didn’t wake as his brother laid back down on his makeshift pillow. It took Sam at least two more hours to fall back asleep, and he didn’t sleep comfortably, either.

~*~

Hot, bright rays of sunshine burned the inside of Sam’s gritty eyelids, making him groan. Dean must have been blocking the sun as he slept, because as soon as he shifted his position, Sam was assaulted by the light.

He sat up, sniffling in annoyance and scrubbing at his eyes. His stuffy nose had made it hard to sleep the previous night. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d woken up in a panic, unable to breathe for several moments before managing to clear out his nose temporarily and making an attempt to stave off several allergic sneezes in order to fall back asleep. Now, forced awake by the sun, his lack of real rest was evident.

He needed to sneeze almost immediately, and felt around with his hand for the tissue box desperately, vision obscured by tears, before giving up and using his sleeve as a cover.

“Huhh’ngxxt! Hehhhehh’tschxxxt! Hht-kkSHHshhew! Huh-TTSHhhhuh! Huhh-uhh-UTshhoo!” After the first two painful stifles, he gave up, only half attempting to muffle the sound in his jacket.

Unsurprisingly, Dean awoke, rubbing his eyes and squinting in Sam’s direction.

“Jesus Christ, Sammy. You been this miserable all night?” His voice was laced with sleep, rough from lack of use, but it accurately conveyed his shock and sympathy.

“I… yeah, pretty much.” Sam mumbled, scrunching his nose again and glancing out at the bright sun to coax out another few sneezes in the hope that they would provide some relief. “IiiiihhTSHHUH! Huh-huh-HUTSCHHhh! HehEHHHtschew!”

“Gesundheit. Will you die if I open the door?” Dean looked apologetic.

“Probably,” Sam muttered. “It’s fine. I’d rather have miserable allergies for an hour than miserable allergies for the rest of my life cooped up in this car.”

Dean grimaced, opening the door and closing it behind him as quickly as he could.

In mere moments, he could hear Sam’s breath hitching and frowned in sympathy as his brother sneezed forcefully, slightly muffled because of the car’s doors and windows.

“Hehh... EHH’TSCHHUH! Huhh’EHHshhhuhh!”

Dean held his phone out in various directions, walking away from his car and down the road. No signal bars appeared at the top of his phone screen. He continued walking, until the Impala was completely out of sight. Still, he had no signal.

Then, something caught his eye. The glint of metal in the sun made his heart leap. A car was approaching. He waved his arms, and the car slowed down and pulled over. The man inside rolled down his window and leaned out of it, looking confused.

“You need something?” He called. He had messy red hair, only barely contained by the cap he was wearing. His T-shirt advertised “Hoppy Hour” at Froggy’s Bar.

Well, Dean would take it. “Hey!” He said, leaning towards the open window and shielding his eyes from the glare dancing off the car. “Uh, do you have room in your car for two? My brother and I are sort of stranded. Our car’s out of gas, and he’s pretty miserable because of the pollen count…”

The man looked Dean up and down, apparently not finding anything too suspicious about him (or spotting the gun tucked in his belt), because he eventually nodded. “Okay. How far you need to go?”

“Just to town.” Dean answered. “Maybe somewhere where we get a phone signal.”

The man chuckled. “Yeah, service ain’t so good up here. Hop in. M’name’s Joshua Brown. I live just a few miles south of here.”

Dean got in the passenger seat, directing the man to his car.

“Sammy!” Dean knocked on the window, and Sam emerged from a handful of tissues he held to his face, squinting. “This guy’s gonna give us a ride!” Dean called, pointing back to the car behind him.

Sam’s face broke into a huge smile, dimples and all. “Really?!” He cradled his tissue box, holding his breath as he exited the car.

The ride back to town was filled with Sam’s sneezes. Dean and Joshua made conversation. Dean was going to ask Joshua to take them to the nearest towing agency, but listening to Sam’s misery made him think better of it. He had the driver take them to their motel room, so Sam could take his allergy medicine.

“Thanks Joshua.” Dean said once they reached the hotel, climbing out of the car.

“Sure thing!” The man grinned, and sped off.

~*~

The first thing Sam did when they got back to their room was take a shower. He concentrated on scrubbing his entire body down under the warm water, but most of his energy went to his face.

When he emerged, cloaked in steam and wearing sweatpants, he looked much improved. His eyes were watery-looking, and his nose was red, but otherwise, he looked almost entirely normal.

“Hey. You feel better?”

“Um, yeah, actually. Heehh’TSSHHhh! Ugghh. A little.”

“Good. Take your medicine.”

Sam nodded, walking over to his bag.

“Take the strong stuff.”

“I’ll be sleepy the second it kicks in. Huhh’tshhyew! Huhh-uhhTSHHuh!”

“It doesn’t matter. You need the sleep anyway.”

Sam nodded, resigned, and took the medicine. He climbed under the covers of his bed, sniffling, but smiling.

“Ktsshhh’uh! Night, Dean.”

“Night, Sammy.” Dean chuckled.

~*~

Okay! That's it!

Coming soon:

More allergic Sam, obviously.

For the cold-lovers, some sick Winchesters!

For the Dean-lovers who have stumbled upon this, hoping for some of him, don't worry. I've got some ideas for him, too.

Hope you liked my story! Extra love to all of you who commented, you are all wonderful!

[Sawyer]

Yes! I was so excited to see that you updated again! Sam is so sweet trying to stifle his sneezes and then leave the car so he doesn't wake Dean... aww, he's so MISERABLE and I loooove it. And Dean is so concerned and exasperated! And I really liked Joshua Brown, even if he wasn't in there much.. I thought he was neat! What a nice guy! And AWW SAM SMILING AND HIS DIMPLES awww aww super cute. You are AWESOME. I cannot wait to read more of your stuff!