devastated

[andy]

Today's been an awful day!

me and my gf have been together for 2 years until today

Its been a fantastic two years, the best of my life in fact, i was there for her through all the hard times, her dad passing away, her having suffered illness herself etc, we had been away together a lot, and thought it was going well..

she had told me a lot of personal things that she had never told anyone in her life, and so i told her some things as well, which i hadnt ever told anyone.....and as we had been together for 2 years, i plucked up the courage to tell her about the fetish....bad idea

As soon as i told her about the fetish, that was it, she got all awkward, i tried to explain it, and what it meant to me etc, but she quickly left and the next thing i know, she phoned me, saying that she couldnt do this anymore....

before i told her about the fetish, she was completely fine, and we were getting on so welll....

im devastated, two fantastic years with the girl i loved, gone, and all because i thought i would tell her my biggest secret about the fetish..

i wont be telling anyone else ever again, and now i have lost the girl i love...

[murphy dee]

Wow, how crappy and unfair for you! I'm so sorry that happened. To love someone for two years and then just bail when you find out something you don't like (that in the grand scheme of things isn't even that big of a deal!)...that's so immature. I hope you can recover from this and find someone who will love you for YOU - quirks and kinks and all.

[Natto]

I'm sorry that that happened, and I wish you luck in recovering. I do think that you're taking the wrong message from all of this. Even though it hurts, if this girl is someone who can't accept you for who you truly are, which includes the fetish, then she isn't right for you. Accepting doesn't include willingness to engage in it, although that's a nice perk. Accepting means realizing that that's a part of who you are, and not thinking less of you for it. If this girl can't do that...then you need to think about finding someone who can. In the long run, this is probably for the best, no matter how awful it feels right now.

[Renee]

Natto is right. If someone can't take you for who you are than they not right for you. This has happened to me before but not fetish wise. Hopefully she'lI come around but if not I hope you find someone who truly takes you for what you are

[prisma]

well its always good to be honest about that stuff from the start. That way this stuff doesnt happen

[andy]

thanks guys

Prisma i didnt tell her from the start as i was worried about what her reaction would be...

i shouldnt have told her.

[Heavy-Chevy]

I'm in agreement with Natto. That just seems very unfair and judgmental on her part. I mean she trusted you with her personal secrets and you accepted her for who she was but she wasn't willing to do the same for you. I know you're feeling really bad about this right now but in the long run it's probably for the best plus I think it would have been worse to have this happen further down the road when your relationship got more serious. Better to find out now and move on. Don't worry, you're still young, you have plenty of time to find that right girl.

[andy]

cheers mate, and thanks all of you.

[prisma]

Its not that you shouldent have told her. She should be more understanding!!

[andy]

oh right ok, fair enough.

[Vendetta]

well its always good to be honest about that stuff from the start. That way this stuff doesnt happen

this is exactly why ive always told every single person ive been with about this fetish as soon as i started seeing them

[MissMercy]

That's horrible man, my condolences. However, as an echo of everyone else, if she couldn't accept you for you...that's a problem.

There is a saying in my local BDSM community, "You're Kink is Not My Kink." You may not be down with what someone is into, but it's what they are into and it should be respected. Never feel bad for being you, because all of our kinks are what make us awesome people.

And, you're awesome

Good luck, homes.

[andy]

thanks..

[Smokey]

Jeez that's awful, i'm really sorry to hear that

Not that it will make you feel any better, but like the others have said if she can't take you as you are & accept your interests & such, then she really isn't worth being n a relationship with- i'm sorry i know that sounds harsh & won't make you feel any better but really it's true .

Have your mates, family etc been asking why you two broke up? If so how has been explaining it to them? Not that i imagine you'll be telling everyone the exact reason or anything! Have you spoken to her since at all?

If you ever need to chat were all here

[andy]

cheers james

yes mates asked, i just said that it was mutual and that we both thought it was the best move......i have spoke to her, but not at great length

[Smokey]

Well at least you've spoken to her, that's one good thing at least

Glad you've got good mates around