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Scatter's Wreck It Ralph Drabbles [Fix It Felix, male]


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Hello there! This is where I'm going to post my Wreck It Ralph stuff, collectively, so I don't clog up the forum with a bunch of fics xD

I've never had a drabble thread before, so this is kind of cool xDD

A/N: Well, I didn’t think I was going to write something new, if only because I still have some other projects to finish up~ *cough cough VoOs trade cough* (It’s coming, I promise~!). But the Lovely and Adorable Spoo has convinced me with her epic writing and encouragement to take a swing at Wreck It Ralph! Not to mention many other talented writers have been churning out magic surrounding the fandom as well <3. I’m waiting for our wonderful artists to start drawing sneezy Felix ^w^

Annnnyway, courtesy of Spoo’s motivation, here’s a little something for the WIR fans out there, like myself :DDD


New Code

Ever since the arcade-wide ordeal, things had been relatively quiet. There were few changes in the network, but those few changes were big ones. Ralph’s new positive attitude had a huge influence over the other Nicelanders and the game “Fix It Felix Jr.” in general. There was a new sense of community among them, which honestly pleased Felix. He had never liked having to turn away the big guy when he came snooping around the penthouse for a party invitation. Looking out his window those past years and seeing Ralph shivering under his bricks at the dump had tugged at his heartstrings. Felix realized now, after all that fuss, that if they all had just included Ralph in their fun, none of it would have happened. They could have avoided the whole cybug-King Candy-almost-end-of-the-world-thing entirely.

But then again, Felix never would have met Cal if he had never left his game. He could still remember the first moment he had seen her against the dark, green-glowing backlight of Hero’s Duty. She was so fierce that day, and still was of course, but he loved her for it. She was one of them independent, free-spirited women, and he liked that about her. Felix would never change anything, not even her height. He didn’t mind that she could very well pick him up when she wanted. Didn’t bother him in the least. It made it that much easier to cuddle up during after-game hours, and there was that much more of her to love. Some joked that he should be dating a Sugar Rush racer, since their lips were easier for him to reach, but he waved off such comments. Jumping up to get to Cal’s face-level was just another quirky, fun way to enjoy her company.

Speaking of Sugar Rush, without Ralph and his misstep, they never would have gotten that mess sorted out. The games had come together and decided that they would make an attempt to stay more connected to one another. “King Candy” would have never happened if the other games had been aware of Sugar Rush’s original coding. Ralph, personally, was glad for this; it meant more time with Vanellope, and more excuses to visit. Sugar Rush and Fix It Felix Jr. were officially partners, and had the responsibility to look after one another. Felix himself took it in stride, though he sometimes wished that Hero’s Duty was his game par-… part-…

Hiehh—” Felix sucked in a huff of air, eyes slipping shut as he scrambled for his handkerchief, drawing it out for what felt like the hundredth time. “Kksstchh!” He sneezed through his teeth—his last ditch effort to contain the action.

This was another change Felix noticed, but wasn’t sure how to classify. He had been sneezing often, in fittish multiples sometimes, for the past day and a half. It started soon after the arcade closed Saturday night, and continued through Sunday (maintenance day), and had apparently followed him to bed last night. Letting out a pent-up sigh afterwards, he sniffled thickly rather than blowing, since his hanky was too full for that anyway. Then he swiped at his eyes with the edge of his glove, trying to be gentle, since they were red and puffy, sensitive to the touch. They had bothered him all night long, and no amount of rubbing would make it better.

It was morning in the penthouse, early, and he wasn’t even out of his PJ’s yet. He was still sitting on the edge of his bed, using his sleeves on rotation to wipe at his nose, wincing sometimes as he did. The skin around his nostrils felt terribly raw. He had been crossing his fingers that it would be gone by Monday, whatever it was, but it hadn’t heeded him. And now he was stuck with it. Jiminy Jaminy.

EH-hishhh!” He rocked forward, sneezing openly. He hadn’t expected that one. “Ekshhii! Hiskkshhh! HEH-shuuuhh!” He had been expecting those, though. They were hair-trigger gunshots, those. What was worse, it felt like there were still more in the barrel. With enough sniffling, Felix would bet he could sneeze for hours if he tried, but he certainly didn’t. The whole business made him nervous. What if it was a bug? The last thing he wanted to do was infect his game. What about Roy, Gene, or Mary? What about Ralph? Or even Cal!? He buried his face into his hands.

“Goodess gracious, I’b sure ind a pickle—” He blinked at the sound of his voice, which rang with the quality of soggy cotton stuffed up a pipe. Sniffling did little to move the mass, and only succeeded in lacing his sensitive membrane with another itch. Felix groaned and flopped back on his bed. “I’ll be darn’d if I’b shirkin’d ond account of a sndiffle.”

Though the state of his voice wasn’t quite inspiring. His throat didn’t bother him, nor did he feel achy. It was just all in his nose and sinus area. Throbbing head, blocked nose, stinging eyes. Like he took one of Ralph’s fists to his face. He smoothed some of his hair back, his light brown hair askew from a night’s fitful sleep.

He jumped high enough to hit his sore head on the ceiling when there was a knock on the door. “Gravy trainds and hornet’s dests-!” Felix clung to his head with both hands, face crumbling from the pain as he made his way to the door. Despite all of it, he pasted on what he supposed to be his best smile and opened the door.


It was Mary, and she was piping like a chicken about something or another. “Felix! We were starting to wonder. Are you all right?”

Felix gave her an owl-eye blink before melting into a reassuring smile. “Righd as the day is brighd, Mbary! Why would you worry?”

Mary gave him a curious look at his congestion, and then fiddled with her fingers, uncomfortable that he wasn’t as on par as usual. “Because-! It’s almost opening hour… You’re usually up hours before, fine tuning all the apartments.”

This surprised Felix, and as he turned to look at the clock, a cool feeling of dread hit his stomach. He had less than thirty minutes to get ready. How could he have slept in so late? The panic of responsibility towered above him, but he took a deep breath through the mouth and looked back at his friend, smile persisting.

“Must have clean forgot to turnd ond by alarmb last dnight! Fancy thad,” He said, trying to sniff against the blockage in his nose. It was an uphill battle against the hard suction, and he gave up with a sigh a few sniffs later. He started sweeping Mary out with gentle motions, meaning to get himself in order lickity-split.

“You go ond and tell everyoned I’b coming. I’ll be outd ind a jiff!”

He leaned against the door after closing it, blue eyes wide and red with irritation. His whole face felt irritated at this point. And all that sniffing from before had his nose in a tizz. He started panting, giving baby huffs inward as the sensation overtook him.

“No.. noo-ouhhhishhh! Ishhh! IISHhhh! Hpttishhh!... Ohh…” He steadied himself against his dresser, starting to fish out his clothes. He didn’t have time shower, it looked like. Maybe a quick one, but then his hair would be wet-… Well, perhaps he could blow dry it? No, that would take too long-… And all this time he was spending dilly-dallying could be spent getting ready. It was going to be a long day…

~ ~ ~ ~

Ralph, arms crossed and face scowled, stared up at the top floor of the penthouse. It wasn’t like Felix to be this late for a game day. Uncharacteristic of the little guy. Ralph had gone off to Sugar Rush all day yesterday, but had heard a few of the Nicelanders worriedly discussing Felix’s choice of leisure time. Apparently, the hero had stayed in his apartment most of the day, only emerging to let Cal in for a few hours when she stopped by. She had left pretty soon afterwards, and Ralph remembered running into her at the train stop. She had reached over, snatched the front of his shirt and pulled him towards her, expression deadly.

“You keep an eye on him for me, Big Fists.”

He had just given her a befuddled and generally annoyed look before moving away to his little house by the dump. Ralph hadn’t given it a second thought until now. Maybe Felix wasn’t feeling well? Was he hurt? Why else would he be taking so long? Still, it was unusual. Most of the games got laid up with viruses during the summer, when all the kids were out of school. It was only spring now. In fact, “Fix It Felix Jr.” was supposed to be running better than ever. They had a new patch installed in the master code that made the settings change with the seasons. Right now there were flowers blooming all over, the grass greener than ever. Even the dump looked nice this time of year.

He was lost in this thought when he heard the chipper voice of someone he had known for over 30 years now.

“All right, brother! Ready for game time?”

Ralph glanced down just in time to see the small man give him a companionable slap to the lower back, since he couldn’t reach too much higher than that. The larger man meant to smile, but was taken aback by Felix’s appearance. The little handyman looked like he had a horrible headcold: his pudgy nose an angry red, chapped from constant wiping, eyes weepy and puffed and sleepless, smile painted on like a wind up doll… Ralph had never seen him like this-…

“Felix,” he said, voice gentle and awkward. “Are you-?”

“Fit as a fiddle?” Felix interrupted in that chirpy, eager voice of his. “Why, yes sir I am! Just as peachy-keen as I’ve ever been.”

“Really,” Ralph said, voice flat-lining. “Because you look awful.”

Felix slowly put his hands to his hips, giving Ralph a mischievous smile. Ralph balked, surprised, since he hadn’t pegged Felix for such a stubborn one. “Well, now! That wasn’t very nice, Ralph. If you don’t have something nice to say, it’s best to say nothing at all.”

Ralph felt like giving the guy a hard slap to the back of the head, to knock some sense into him, but he refrained. The villain had never been the nurturing type, so he didn’t press the issue, but Felix caught his attention with a quick gasp and a stagger backwards. The small handyman swiveled around, burying his nose in a clean hanky. Always the old-fashioned type.

Hhmmphishhh! N’ishhhaa! Hhh-! GISHHUU!

The last one sent him a few steps forward, and Ralph reached out with a huge hand to hold him steady. Catching his breath, Felix wiped his eyes with his arm, sniffling back anything he didn’t sneeze out. After his brief shower, he had cleared up for a time, but now he was back to his sorry state, and possibly getting worse. His head was a-pounding.

“Goodness,” he said with a smile, looking up at Ralph. “Scuse me, brother. Somethin’s been botherin’ me all morning.” He hitched up his tool belt, and then started marching towards his beginning position to be ready for the first gamer. The screen was already flickering on. Wouldn’t be long now. Ralph was left standing there, unsure of how to proceed, so instead he went to his own position and watched from afar. Felix kept pawing at his nose, and Ralph even saw him stumble around with a few more of those violent sneezes before the first quarter hit the slot.

The villain surged forward. “I’M GONNA WRECK IT!” And wreck it he did. He wrecked it good. So good, it bothered him just a little. Felix came out a little late, brandishing his hammer. It pinged and gleamed.

“I can fix it!”

Well, at least he remembered his line.

Then again, it was written in code right above him, so how could he forget?

Things went as par usual for the next few levels, but Ralph could see Felix flagging by the third or fourth quarter. His jump had less pep, his eyes seeming glazed and constantly distracted with something or another. Many, many times he would bend towards the brick face of the building and smother a body-shaking sneeze into his shirt sleeve or glove. Felix would slip if the player made him jump too much or too suddenly and once in a while, he would accidently hammer something that was already fixed. The Nicelanders were all staring, occasionally whispering about him. Ralph lost his nerve, his heart going out to his friend, and throughout the morning he pounded less and less. Loosing the bricks with a gentler, less violent vigor. The big wrecker regarded the hero with worried eyes as he lifted his hammer towards a broken window, standing on a sill almost to the top floor.

“I can… can fi-i.. fix i-ihiiiih..” He paused, interrupting himself once again, causing eyes to turn to him. This was his least favorite part about the sneezing. Everyone would stare—concern themselves and whatnot. Felix hated for them all to worry about him, especially when it made him seem less capable of his job. Being the hero of this game meant he was supposed to be dependable. Being dependable meant he needed to stay strong, and avoid weakness. Right now, he was being weak.

Hiighiii-!... eh-.. eh-!...” He squeaked on his inhales, trying to get the cloying tickle to just leave him alone. It felt like a teeny tiny little cybug was up in his nose, deep and far back, tinkering around on those pointy, cold little legs while its feelers wiggled against the walls of his suffering nose. It was enough to drive a man bonkers.

Hh-h-h-h-!...HEFISHHUU!” The release was so great, and the force so powerful, Felix jumped a bit, and literally ended up “sneezing” himself clear off the perch he stood on. Ralph surged forward, reaching as the Nicelanders all gasped-… then sighed in relief as a massive hand snatched Felix by the middle, keeping him from falling off the building. True, if he had let Felix fall he would have simply come back to life, but what kind of friend would that make him? He cringed as he felt the miniature form in his hand swell with breath, and then continue to sneeze.

Hepiishhyuu! Iifshiiuu!...” Another deep breath. Ralph loosened his grip to allow for the instinctive action. “Mmpiishh! Ishh! G’isshh! ISHHIIIUU!

After his fit, Felix groaned and scrubbed at his eyes, sniffling like a child. His chest rose and fell in an exhausted, but hurried fashion. He was winded. Ralph caught eyes with a few of the Nicelanders, but no one seemed to know what to do. The villain gently placed him back on the perch, but had to hold a hand behind him, since the handyman started tipping backwards, a hand to his head. It was then that Q*Bert suddenly appeared, calling from below. He had been watching from the sidelines, where he and the others waited for the bonus level to begin.

Thank goodness for innovation.

Under the guise of a glitched day-bonus, Q*Bert took place of Felix’s legs. As far as anyone knew, no one else could wield the hammer, so the title character was forced to keep going. Without having to move much, as well as a compulsion to make up for his previous “almost failure,” Felix notably improved for the last few hours. He was still sneezing (and then apologizing to Q*Bert if he, “sprayed you, brother?”), but at least he wasn’t falling off ledges. Luckily, the crowd fizzled out around closing time, giving the games a chance to breathe and relax early. Felix nearly collapsed onto the roof after the final gamer walked away from a successful level; the Nicelanders, naturally, rushed to booey him up.

Ralph, who was picking himself up from the mud, felt his temper flare. It was because he was concerned, but it showed itself in slight annoyance. He climbed the building, foregoing the tiny stairs inside he would most likely break, and swung himself onto the roof. Mary and Diana turned to him immediately.

“Ralph!” Mary piped, shuffling over to him. “What do we do?!”

Not long after she asked everyone started bobbing around panicking. So much so, they actually dropped Felix. He hit the pavement, eyes flickering open from the thud and the shouting voices. His head felt like it was split in two, right between his eyes. It was a sinus headache, brought on from the intense irritation his face seemed to be suffering from. Felix didn’t often get sick, but this felt worse than any cold he had ever had. It was positively relentless. Tiring too.

ESHHUU!... awwhh..” He put his hands over his face again, seeking something cool, since it felt like his nose and eyes were on fire. “Oh, by land… Everyoned jusd calmb dow-hhh-!”

His face shattered again, weak and unwilling. The Nicelanders all paused to stare, and Ralph sighed in sympathy. Poor little guy. He was the nicest one among them. If anything, Ralph wished the whole ordeal on Gene instead. The guy was a jerk, and pretty unimportant to boot. Nostrils flared, one gloved finger resting beneath his round nose, Felix had one elbow to the roof pavement to prop himself up. All it took was just one more breath, a twinge, and—

Ahh-! Ahah-!.. AHHISHHUU! G’Ishhyu!” He tried, hopelessly, to block it in. He was that desperate to make it stop. “NXT’chuuu! XT’ishhh!” That only lasted a couple times before he gave up on containment. It just made his hurt worse. “Ishh! ISHH! ISHH! ISHHHUU!

And that seemed to be the last of them for the moment. Felix lay panting on the pavement, tears down his cheeks, eyes wide open and glazed. He didn’t feel like getting up, or even breathing. His nose was a block of hot, unmoving gunk, and his eyes burned like they were coated with a stinging flame. It was awful, just awful, but he felt even worse admitting to it. He tried to smile at the onlookers, but that only prompted them to storm in and heft him up.

A few disorienting seconds later, he was back in the penthouse and on the couch, and the chatter was deafening. In his gentlest of tones, hands pressing over his ears, and he tried to ease his friends into a softer volume.

“Friends, come bond dow-…I’b fined, just a bit sdniffly…” He didn’t even think they heard him, since they just kept on talking over him. But one of them had.

“Hey, guys, shut it.”

He could always count on Ralph, couldn’t he? Now more than ever, after that crazy, game-jumping adventure. He closed his eyes again when the silence descended, and removed his hands from his ears. His smile never left his face, though his blue eyes were sunken with fatigue and redness. Over the fuzziness that seemed to be blocking his ears, he heard Ralph escorting people out. He sat ups slowly, and watched as Gene was nearly kicked out into the hall as the huge man closed the doors and then turned around to face his friend. It was only the two of them now, and for that, Felix was glad. He didn’t feel like he needed to put on a face anymore.

Collapsing back and massaging the bridge of his nose with two fingers, he wasted no time being honest. “Oh, Ralph, I’b ind a misery, I—IIhiishh!—… I’ve beend sdneezin’ all day…”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Ralph replied, crossing arms. He approached slowly—careful so as to avoid breaking anything, and also a little awkward in this situation. He wasn’t so sure what his official role was in this circumstance. Did he offer Felix a drink? Or call an in-game doctor? There was that one new Doctor Mario game that was plugged in last summer…

“Do you feel sick?” Ralph asked, peering down at Felix. He looked awful, but he didn’t seem feverish. He just looked tired and sneezy. And miserable. That too.

Felix was at a loss, holding his hands out helplessly. “Why, doe! Dot at—ah, scuse be a moment, Ralph… I deed to-…” He trailed off again, face gaining that unmistakable, distant quality. But this time, he snatched a few tissues from the box nearby and sneezed into them instead. “ISHH! ISHHII! G’ishhhuuu!

There were few that time, and after a bit of blowing, he could breathe a little easier, and his voice got a bit clearer. “There now, that’s better. And, as I was sayin’, I feel fairly fine, Ralph. Just this headache and the sinus trouble.” He paused to rub at both his eyes, as if he were sleepy. “And these eyes uh’ mine. They itch like flea-ridden strays…”

Using a finger, Ralph leaned over and caught both of Felix’s wrists to pull them from his eyes. The handyman looked over in mild surprise, and then slight bashfulness, smiling a little.

“I know rubbin’ ‘em makes it worse, but land sakes brother, I can’t help it.”

Ralph continued to study his friend for a moment, when all of a sudden, something hit him. He had seen this sort of thing before over years in a few assorted game characters, especially when games were patched with new features.

“Felix, wait…” Ralph looked around for a moment, and then moved towards a window, throwing it open, and peering out, eyes searching for something. “I think you have an allergy.”

“Allergy?” Felix knew of them, had heard of them, but had never considered one. True, now that he was inside his familiar home, things felt more manageable. That didn’t mean he had an allergy, though. Those only happened to the people who couldn’t accept a game-change. Felix was fine with the new patch; he could care less about it.

“Don’t be silly, Ralph! I told you I’m right as rain. Just somethin’ up my nose, probably—”

“You mean like one of these?” Ralph held out a spring-induced flower that he had snatched from a window box resting on another window. They were bright red with a foxy, yellow pattern towards the center of the petals. Quite lovely, and they actually smelled rather nice. They were all over the forest, the outer neighborhood, and litter the lawn. Many of the ladies were pinning them to their hats or clothes, and scattering them around the house. Felix blinked over to a vase nearby that had the same flowers in them, left here by Don, who sent them on account of his wife.

Felix’s gaze returned to Ralph, and he just shook his head, smiling still. “Come now, brother. You really think I could be sufferin’ from somethin’ as rare as a—” He stalled as Ralph came closer, extending the blossom within smelling range. A few whiffs of the odor and Felix recognized it as the same, plaguing scent that he couldn’t get out of his nose. Never in a million years had he thought it was coming from a patch feature.

“Jiminy Jaminy-!” The hero sprung up, backing from little, digital plant. Allergies happened when something in the character’s code did not agree with newly inserted code, usually from a patch. And judging by the creeping expression on his face, something in Felix’s deepest lifeblood was rejecting the make-up of the flowers, and manifesting in the way a virus might. Allergies usually faded as the code got more ingrained into the game, and became more of a staple than an addition. So the handyman’s condition would fizzle out and disappear. It would just take a while.

“Ralph, kindly dispose of that, p-please…ehh~..” He held a finger under his nose, eyes squinting with a watering wariness as the urge to sneeze rose in him again. “You’re right, I think I’m-… I’m-!...ESSHHHUUHH!!

Ralph winced at the wet, clenching noise, a bit taken aback by its ferocity. For such a little guy, he was certainly no pushover when it came to an allergy. Those sneezes were enough to knock somebody over, maybe. Ralph smirked at the image.

Eshhhuu! ESHhhhuuu!”

Felix reminded Ralph of his request, and he quickly collected the flowers and dumped them all out the window, shutting and latching it afterward. Felix needed to stay as far away as he could from the new patch items while his code blended with them. Otherwise, he would suffer the side-effects.

Kiitchhhu! K’Ishhhh!.. ishhh!

They lost steam, and left him once again eye-rubbing and sniffling, but at least with a better understanding of how to fight his little malady. He swiped an arm under his nose, twitching it at the discomfort, and then groaning a little about his generally disgusting appearance.

“By stars, Ralph.. ‘Scuse be! I’b just a mess today…” His blue eyes found Ralph’s, and they were a little apologetic with embarrassment. Ralph waved him off with a large hand.

“Hey, it’s fine,” he assured, giving a shrug. “We all have days like that.”

The little man nodded, lacing his hands in front of him for a moment to try and regain his dignity. Having an allergy wasn’t something to be ashamed about, but it was inconvenient, and a bit embarrassing. It made him feel stubborn, or old fashioned, for being the only one in the game to have trouble with the coded addition. Ralph smiled a little, sensing this. He reached forward to do something supportive, like pat his shoulder, but stopped. Felix had a moment of realization and had whipped out his hammer, giving his face a tap. The redness and swelling went away, as did the congestion, and Felix took a deep breath through his nose at the feeling.

“Ahh, much better!” Then he laughed a little, twirling his golden tool. “Durin’ all that fuss, I had forgotten I could do that!”

Ralph had too, and he reminded himself why they had never needed a doctor before. Felix could fix anything, even injury. He truly was an amazing guy. And on that note, Ralph realized that the little bonding moment was over, and he was free to head out to Sugar Rush to meet up with Vanellope. The track had recently been patched as well, with a new secret area, and she wanted to show him. As he made his way for the door, Felix turned and called out.

“Oh, Ralph!”

The big man turned, surprised to see the other fiddling with his hat, staring down at the ground.

“You won’t…” He looked up, blue eyes big and almost pleading. “…tell Cal or the Nicelanders about any of this, will you? Not that I’m tryin’ to keep secrets, of course.” He scuffed the toe of his shoe on the carpet. “But I don’t want to worry anyone…”

Ralph understood. It wasn’t hard to see the blush on his cheeks, from the embarrassment. Giving a nod and two-finger salute, Ralph smiled and reached for the door.

“Sure thing, buddy.”

Felix smiled, wilting in relief.

“Thank you, brother.”

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


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I'm sobbing internally because of all the feels I'm being overwhelmed with. GREAT job on this! I can totally hear Jack McBrayer's lovely voice in my head :D I love it so much!

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Hehe~ Yes! More WIR greatness! Also, I've noticed, we've all been seeming to target Felix in these. Heh, his adorability makes it work. This was awesome! I was nervous a bit through some of it, cause it felt like where I was gonna continue mine, but you had a much cuter idea I see ^^ Amazing story! This one is also in my faves section! :D

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I've already told you how I feel about this (quite literally, in fact!) but I came in here anyway to say that this is amazing and wonderful and just plain ADORABLEEEEE! :wub: Little Felix and his super-cute fits. Gahhhhhh~~~ :heart:

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@Akahana: Thanks, bro~! ;D xDDD

@Paws: THANK YOU for SUCH a high compliment, oh my goooosh! *huggle* I'm very happy you liked it! :'DDD

@Sgt. Calhoun: Totally! Who doesn't love a sneezy Felix? :DD And thank you for commenting! I love your story as well, and I'm REALLY excited to see where it goes >:D.

@Spoo: *glomp* Spooooooo~! I was sure to reply to you~! ;DD Thank you for always being the wonderful person that you are! QwQ ^w^ >w<

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I literally can't stop reading this fic. It's become a daily routine, and I'm not sorry for it. At all. aaevil.gif

Something I didn't mention in my voice or written comment, Kittykat, is that there are two specific parts of this fic that I am absolutely in LOVE with.

This is the first bit:

They were hair-trigger gunshots, those. What was worse, it felt like there were still more in the barrel. With enough sniffling, Felix would bet he could sneeze for hours if he tried, but he certainly didn’t.

Good Lord is that an amazing line. It legitimately makes me shiver~

The second (and my personal favorite) part:

It felt like a teeny tiny little cybug was up in his nose, deep and far back, tinkering around on those pointy, cold little legs while its feelers wiggled against the walls of his suffering nose. It was enough to drive a man bonkers.

It's enough to drive a SPOO bonkers! JESUS! Just the fact that you incorporated a Cy-Bug into that delicious description is completely amazing. This is probably one of the best lines I've read in a long, long time.

Phew! Okay. I just needed to get that out. heh.gif Amazing story is amazing!!!

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SPOO! SPOO! x'DDDDDDD YOU ARE JUST TOO NICE! DAWWW! *super atomic huggle glomp*

^///^ My goodness, you flatter me so! Quoting from my story in a comment is so thoughtful QwQ!

And getting praise from you, who is one of my most favorite authors on the forum, is like having gold nuggets rain from the sky~! xDDDD


I'm so glad you like it~!

I hope you know that I'M just as as hung up on "Helping Hand" ;D! I can't stop reading it! SUCH an adorable baby drabble of CUTENESS! DAW!

Speaking of which, I need to go read it right now >w> *whisks away* xDDDDD

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That was so cute! I was thinking there wouldn't be any sneezefic for this fandom because it's a video game world, and then you have the great idea of putting seasons into the game. That was awesome, great job!

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A/N: This is kind of a silly one I came up with while brainstorming xDD. I didn’t want to do another allergy fic, and the “sick” aspect is getting covered by many talented writers on SFF already. So I took a sort of “bar bet” angle instead ^^’’.. The plot isn’t exactly believable, but I tried my best~.. Hope it works! xDD



Part 1/2

“Hey, Punch the Plumber, you comin’ or what?”

Vanellope was waving a deck of cards in the air, her small hands around the middle of the fresh set. Felix was over at the bar, one gloved hand pouring milk into three glasses, and then water into the fourth. Sometimes he wished he could have some of that silky, white beverage, but his lactose intolerance kept him from sampling it.

“Vanellope,” he said, smiling past any sort of annoyance he may have had. “I’m not a plumber, remember?”

“You’re sure dressed like one.”

“Since when does a plumber carry a hammer?” Ralph asked. He was seated on the floor away from any breakable valuables, leaning back onto his massive hands as he watched the young, candied girl glitch to the bar. Felix gasped and nearly spilled the pitcher of water he had been holding, taking a breath to chuckle at himself afterwards. The hero was still getting used to that sort of thing.

“They’re actually pretty useful for domestic snafus like that,” Calhoun said, sitting on the ground with one knee cocked up, elbow resting on it. She shook her head back to get some hair out of her eyes. “Hit a commode with it in the barracks once, and it straightened the clogging problem right out.”

Tonight was just a little game-night they had put together, the four of them. They were all a little closer to one another since the Sugar Rush incident and enjoyed spending time with one another outside their games. Felix hadn’t gotten to know Vanellope as well as Cal or Ralph yet, but that was a treat about their little fun evenings—they got to be closer, all of them. Tonight they were playing Go Fish, and Vanellope was boasting about her own personal abilities concerning the game. ‘It’s in my code,’ she kept saying.

Felix was never much of a “competitive” guy. True, his day job was being the hero of a popular arcade game, in which he was constantly in a race to fix everything Ralph wrecked and ultimately win. But Felix never cared much for the win; it was the player who cared, and Felix was just the terminal—the mean to the end. Getting medals and pies was swell and all, but the smile on someone’s face was much more rewarding to him. Joy was the driving force behind his actions, so he won simply for that and nothing more. It was his muse. His strongest motivation.

So when there was only his own happiness to take into account, Mr. Fix It didn’t think much about contests. Many a time he would get invited by heroes of other games to try his hand at the weekly poker night, or join in a quick game of arm wrestling, and he took them up on their offers when he was feeling social. He was terrible at poker, since he tended to forget the rules often and forget to hide his cards, and one can only imagine his arm wrestling ability. (Ralph was the one who usually won those). However, his loses didn’t matter to him. Felix merely congratulated the winner and thought nothing of it afterward. Shrewd competitiveness just wasn’t in his code.

But it was in other heroes’ codes. Namely, the two females with which he frequently found himself: Vanellope, and his precious Cal (or as he sometimes called her when he was being quite serious—Tam). Both of them were, in their own ways, furiously competitive. Vanellope was more openly so; her glitching ability did not go unused when it came to winning the last leg of a race, and at times it took a majority complaint from the fellow racers to get her to back off. Even then, that only lasted for a few games. Cal was more subtle, but Felix sometimes noticed that if he ever shot more bugs than her in a co-op game, she got short with him.

The handyman remembered the first time he beat her at her own game. He, hunched and holding his hat in this hands, turning it as he forced a sheepish smile. And she, obviously irritated, huffing and pacing occasionally as the game reset.

“Somethin’ the matter, honey?” Felix had asked, his voice soft and a bit high, since he didn’t like to see her mad. She was a hornet when she was mad, which was something he both liked and feared.

“Negatory, Fix it,” she snapped back, reached up to plow a hand through her long blonde bangs. “Just get out of your gear. We’re done for today.”

Felix had made sure to let her win every single game after that, since that exchange had made his heart hurt for more than a few days.

But—back to his point—both women were fairly driven when it came to their games. Winning those games. Winning any game, sometimes. And it was this mentality that got him into an interesting conundrum that evening in the Penthouse.

“Felix,” Ralph barked, reaching over to pluck Vanellope from her perch on the arm of a chair, and set her down beside him. “Hurry up already, before Fair Lady Fidgety knocks something over.”

Vanellope crossed her arms, but sat nonetheless, sticking her tongue out at her big friend. Felix laughed at the two of them, picking up the drink tray with both handles and using the edge of his arm to tip his hat out of his eyes as he headed towards them.

“Hold your horses, you two, I’m—”

He paused, both in speaking and in walking, and the party of three glanced over at him. They watched he crinkled the bridge of his nose, eyes closing and brows furrowing from a sudden need. As he snatched his first inhale, he quickly thrust the tray out to Cal, who hesitated only a moment before scooting over a bit and taking it one handed from the bottom.

“Cal, here, I have to—ehh!” The urge had come on so suddenly, from seemingly nowhere, Felix had only a few moments to turn away from them all and brace his hands against his knees. “Hiihg’shh! Iiihshhh!...” The sound was breathy, almost soft, and bit high in his register. He brought the back of one gloved hand up to his mouth, muffling the last few as they snapped him downward with the force. “MMphishhh! ‘gishh!!...ISHHUUU!”

The little handyman lowered his hand again, putting back on his knee, and stayed in that position for a moment more before sniffling mightily and swiveling back around.

“Scuse me, friends! That came out of nowhere.” He was unharmed and fairly undeterred. Fits of five or six were normal for him, honestly, and they weren’t exactly powerful. Ralph thought nothing of the display, since he had seen many like it before around Nicetown, but Vanellope and Calhoun seemed impressed. Transfixed even.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you sneeze before, soldier,” Cal said, almost smirking. She sat the tray down and then patted the open piece of carpet beside her. She liked Felix for his personality, his sense of inherent and unshakable justice. But she had to admit that his size and dependably adorable actions made him even more endeared to her. His kitten-like sneeze was just another cute reason to love him all the more.

“Well,” he said, briefly swiping his nose with the edge of his finger. “I don’t think you can say that anymore!”

“You always sneeze like that?” his wife asked of him, picking up her glass of milk and taking a few sips. Felix was sitting criss-cross on the floor, hands in his lap, and his back straightened as he gained a pensive expression.

“Mmmm,” he hummed, then spoke. He smiled. “I believe so. Since I can remember, that is.”

“Since I can remember too,” Ralph confirmed. He was trying to help Vanellope shuffle the cards; she was spraying them all over the place and turning Go Fish into a game of 52 Pickup.

“What’s your record?” The young President asked, grinning over at Felix. This stalled him again, and he smiled bashfully as he reached up to scratch the side of his head.

“I don’t think I’ve kept track, to be honest…”

“Betcha ya can’t break ten in a row!”

Felix just chuckled and adjusted the brim of his hat. “I don’t think I could either—”

“Course you could, Fix It,” Cal interjected. Her gaze was fierce, and Felix paled as he saw that glint in her eye. Oh no. She wasn’t going to turn this into some sort of—… competition, was she?

“Nuh uh!” Vanellope said. Ralph calmly reached over and removed from the arm of the couch again. She kept climbing on top of it. Once on the ground, she snapped her fists to her hips and rocked back on a cocky heel. “No one I know’s ever beat ten in a row!” The girl leaned forward, thrusting a finger at Felix’s nose, and he leaned back with a wary smile in response.

“What makes you think he can do it?”

Fix It was both pleased and nervous as he felt Cal drop an armored arm across his shoulders, hugging his plushy body against her rough, suited one. He preferred her when she was out of her uniform and into her more comfortable clothes, since it was much easier to hug her and cuddle her that way. But he didn’t mind her armor.

“I know he can do it, because no husband of mine wouldn’t be able to take any challenge you dish out, sister,” Cal said. Her tone was full of conviction, but Felix wasn’t entirely sure what they were even arguing about anymore. Was this still about his sneezing? His big, blue eyes flicked over to Ralph, who was staring at him with a similar expression. Neither one of the men was confident about the direction of this conversation.

“Well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and prove it!” Vanellope crowed, glitching to the highest point of the couch and then skipping along the edge of it. Ralph sighed as he hefted himself up, meaning to grab her and sit her down. She dodged his large hand and glitched to the kitchen counter, swinging her legs as she sat.

“One gold coin against one of your medals says he can’t beat ten sneezes!”

“Just a moment, ladies,” Felix said. He ducked out from under Cal’s arm and stood, one hand on his hip while the other rubbed the back of his neck. It wasn’t that he was especially uncomfortable, but he wasn’t keen on the idea. This was game night, not bet night.

“What’s this now?”

His wife looked up at him (one of the rare times she actually could, since she was still sitting) and sucked at her teeth for just a second before gesturing to his general location with a relaxed hand. “You’re gonna win me a gold coin and bragging rights, Fix It. So saddle up.”

He balked at her declaration, and then let out a soft snort of cautious laughter. “By…sneezing?” He smiled at the all, but when he failed to get a light-hearted ribbing in return, his face fell. His left foot crossed behind his right as the little man held up his hands in a defensive position.

“Hold on,” he said, squaring them with a firm look. “I didn’t agree to anything yet, so—”

“Pin him down!” Vanellope shouted, one of her dainty pointer fingers piercing the heavens with purpose. Cal was on him in moments, a strong arm pressing against his chest as his back hit the floor. This wasn’t the first time she had overpowered and leered over him, and he didn’t plan on it being the last, but Felix would never acclimate himself to the slight rush of fear he felt when she did it.

“B-But, Tammy!” he said, stammering as his gloved hands rose up to shield his face. He paused as he felt her soft skin against his; an unarmored finger tilting his chin up to her eyes. She was smiling, her features soft, though the heat of competition still flared in her eyes. How could he resist an expression like that? She knew she had him caught.

Giving a gentle sigh, his small chest deflating, he closed his blue eyes. He would resign himself to this, if only because it was fairly harmless, and would make Cal happy. Making her happy trumped anything anyway. If he could do something to get her to smile, you can bet he’d get it done. Letting her win (or in this case helping her win) was one of the easiest ways to do it.

“All right, all right,” he conceded, a chuckle in his voice. His arms fell limp by his sides, then tensed and moved to cupped his wife’s face as she leaned down to kiss him. Vanellope made an exaggerated noise of disgust, and Ralph just smirked and took up his jug of milk for a swig.

“You’re such a pushover, Felix,” the wrecker said.

“If this is what a pushover gets,” Felix replied as he pushed himself up with his arms, cheeks aglow with a honey hue, “then I don’t want to be anything else.” He directed his dreamy smile towards the love his life, who looked away with her own kind of blush. But her moments of tenderness were usually just between the two of them, so her hard attitude rushed back pretty quick. Especially since Vanellope was making a big production out of it.

“Are you guys just gonna keep makin’ goo-goo eyes at each other,” she sniped. “Or are we gettin’ this show on the road?”

“Both,” Cal snapped back, cracking her neck. “Now sit your keister down and shut that trap, if you can manage it.”

To be continued...

(don't let me forget about this one, guys!)

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If I bite my lip any harder, I swear to God it's going to bleed. G-ghhhh....!

OH MY GOSH KITTYKAT THIS WAS SO WORTH THE WAIT AHHHHHHHHH!! I'm trying SO hard not to flail everywhere and destroy my keyboard, but IT'S CRAZY HARD WHEN THIS IS SO WELL-WRITTEN AND IN CHARACTER THAT I JUST CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY! ;______; Felix is adorable and precious and so very KITTENISH. <333333 Also! I loved how you nodded at his lactose intolerance. XDD Poor guy! He wants a glass of milk~

“Well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and prove it!” Vanellope crowed, glitching to the highest point of the couch and then skipping along the edge of it. Ralph sighed as he hefted himself up, meaning to grab her and sit her down. She dodged his large hand and glitched to the kitchen counter, swinging her legs as she sat.

And can I just say that you absolutely NAILED Vanellope?! JEEZ! Her and Ralph's interactions were perfect. XDD That glitchy spazz-cake! Guh, and Felix was just right, and so was Cal, and this seriously could have been in the movie (I WISH!!) because it was THAT spot-on. <333 Man oh man, the second part is going to be amazing. And don't worry...I won't let you forget about it. :twisted: Ohohoho~

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  • 4 months later...

This fic is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post the second part! It hasnt gotten to the best bit yet! I wanna see what the two girls come up with ;) Please post the second half. It would make my year :D

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  • 1 year later...
  • 2 years later...

This was such a pleasure to read!! Is there a second part? I cant find it anywhere! :(  Blackscatter, do you have the second part written? Its driving me nuts not knowing what happens ;p 

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  • 1 year later...

With the new Wreck It Ralph 2 movie coming out, wondering if these is a second part to this story? (Out-Sneezed)

I have been going crazy waiting for the second part :D I really hope its posted soon! :D Is that a possibility? 

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I know it didn't really have to do with the sneezing but my favorite bit is Vanellope glitches to the couch and Ralph sets on the floor (I imagine continually). Just so sweet 

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