I'll be okay (original fiction)

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Continue I love this c:

[PortlandLove]

this is so good. keep it up!!

[luvdogz]

Oh my god this is perfection. I cannot WAIT to read more <33

[glaciosity]

I'm really sorry it took me so long to add this next part.

--

I awoke when the light began to creep through a crack in the curtains, my neck stiff from the awkward position I'd slept in slanting in the chair in the corner of my room whilst Jake had the bed. I'd sent him straight to bed as soon as he'd left the shower, telling him I'd join in a bit. Three hours later I had managed to pull myself up from the kitchen floor where I'd idiotically sat almost crying over spilt milk. It had slipped from my hand whilst making tea and that appeared to be the final straw for the day. My head had scrambled and stirred over every moment of Jake's admission. How he didn't tell me straight away. By the time I'd made it to the room, he was fast asleep, snoring softly with the covers up to his neck and his hair flopping over his eyes. I couldn't bring myself to wake him or trap myself.

"Lilly?" A small voice croaked, sending a pang of hurt through me.

"Yes?" I whispered, walking over to kneel by the bed. Jake's eyes were red and he looked as if he was having trouble keeping them open.

"You didn't come back like you said." He croaked, his eyes getting distant and starting to close.

"Go back to sleep." I whispered, stroking his forehead quickly.

"Hurreppshoo." He let out a small whine as I shut the door, hating myself more after every step I took away from him.

My lack of sleep was beginning to dawn on me by lunchtime. I brought Jake a small amount of food and more medicine when listening to him cough and sneeze through the wall became too painful. I wasn't pissed at him, I wasn't. I felt like everything might shift as if maybe he could find someone better to load this on and I wasn't it anymore. Gently sitting next to him on the bed, he turned to face me, his hand grabbing my wrist and squeezing.

"What's wrong?" His voice was hoarse.

"Nothing. You need to take this." I undid the bottles and set the food on the bedside table.

Something in his eyes dimmed but he nodded. What should I say? I'm sorry you're mother died and you're ill and I'm so hopelessly scared I'm not good enough for you I'm trying not to feel anything at all, do you want to cuddle? Perhaps not. I slowly released my wrist from his grip and started to get up.

"No." His voice cracked with the strain. "Please don't go yet." Jake started to shift in the bed to lean more against the headboard. "I'm sorry this happened and I'm taking up so much space and.. an" His hands hovered over his face. "Hurretcchoo!" He cleared his throat and continued. "I don't mean to impose on you or piss you off which it seems I clearly did." I tried to talk but he cut me off with another sneeze before continuing. "Husshhoo. I can't deal with you being upset or annoyed but especially not at me." He scrubbed his nose furiously.

"I want to take away any pain you have and it kills me to see you still having nightmares or sleeping in the chair across from me like I'm some kind of broken mess that you're scared of. Who carried you home when you cut you knee on that broken glass? Who kissed those scars? Who rang you every day on your first week at your new job so I could check you were okay?" His voice started to become more hoarse but he pressed on. "I don't want to sound like a whiney jerk but not twenty four hours ago did I tell you that my mother died and you haven't even asked about it! I'm worried about you and I know I freaked yesterday but are you still thinking about yourself?! My mum is dead! I didn't even know her, Lilly." He finished by scrubbing his nose angrily and giving a few sniffs.

He could have dropped a pile of bricks on my head and that would have hurt less.

Jake was right, I was a huge selfish bitch. He was my best friend and I'd been so wrapped up in my feelings, why he wouldn't tell me, my own self wallowing that I couldn't see how painful it must be for him. Tears filled my eyes in milliseconds. I saw his face soften at my expression and both his hands went to grab mine but I moved them out the way.

"I'm sorry, Jakey." My voice shook as I stood up.

"No. Shit, Lilly. I didn't mean it like that." He tried to get up but was too tangled up in the sheets.

"You're right. I'm selfish and scared. What am I supposed to do, Jake?"

"Hurretccho! Hupsshsoo. Ugh." I handed him the tissues from the side of the bed.

"I'll be back in a second." I said, trying desperately not to cry horrendously in front of him.

"No you wont. You promised you wouldn't leave me." He gave one last stretch and yanked my body to the bed next to his as he folded me into his warm chest. The tears came then.

"I'm sorry. This isn't fair." I sobbed as he rubbed my back.

There I was, crying hysterically to my best friend who was sick as a little puppy who'd found out his Mum had died and his supposed best friend was a selfish bitch. I was doing a really good job at looking after him. Not.

----

Argh, sorry about that. I got carried away and I know, I know. Eugh.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

This is like so good

[Privatedancer]

This is one if my all-time favorites. Any chance you will continue. Glaciosity?

[ebay34]

PLZ CONTINUE THIS IS AMAZING

[Arty]

Moar!!!!!!!!

Pwease?

[sneasons greetings]

Oh my goodness this is great. So sweet.

[Lietome]

Please keep going it's amazing!!!

[sneezysniffles]

::3 It's utterly well written, the perspectives an the details. This was fantastic. (i've only read up to the second update and I already love it.

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Oh Lord...my heart is crying from this story! Please continue!

[glaciosity]

This is one if my all-time favorites. Any chance you will continue. Glaciosity?

PLZ CONTINUE THIS IS AMAZING

Moar!!!!!!!!

Pwease?

Oh my goodness this is great. So sweet.

Please keep going it's amazing!!!

::3 It's utterly well written, the perspectives an the details. This was fantastic. (i've only read up to the second update and I already love it.

Oh Lord...my heart is crying from this story! Please continue!

YOU GUYS!

This is so sweet of you, I didn't realise anyone would notice if I didn't continue. I got a little nervous and shy but I'd totally start writing this again. I need to plan how I was aiming the story to go but I would love to get back in to writing again (especially as the summer is here and I have time on my hands).

I have the warm fuzzies.

[ebay34]

This is one if my all-time favorites. Any chance you will continue. Glaciosity?

PLZ CONTINUE THIS IS AMAZING

Moar!!!!!!!!

Pwease?

Oh my goodness this is great. So sweet.

Please keep going it's amazing!!!

::3 It's utterly well written, the perspectives an the details. This was fantastic. (i've only read up to the second update and I already love it.

Oh Lord...my heart is crying from this story! Please continue!

YOU GUYS!

This is so sweet of you, I didn't realise anyone would notice if I didn't continue. I got a little nervous and shy but I'd totally start writing this again. I need to plan how I was aiming the story to go but I would love to get back in to writing again (especially as the summer is here and I have time on my hands).

I have the warm fuzzies.

OMG IM SO HAPPY I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO CONTINUE

[Privatedancer]

Yay!!!!! I am so looking forward to it - thank you!

[glaciosity]

Guess who's back?????? I'm sorry for the lack of general story and sneezyness in this part but I wanted to try some things out and get back into things. I am so happy that you let me write this for you, that means so much to me. I hope you enjoy it.

----

As soon as his large hand had curled around my neck, the sooner I came to my senses and snapped my body up from the bed. Standing rigidly to the side of the framework I watched as Jake's eyebrows came together slightly and his lips pouted almost unnoticeably if you didn't know him like I did - which thinking about it was probably less than I originally thought. I missed his warmth even though it was mostly probably fever induced and I had been separated from him for about two seconds.

"I'm sorry, Jakee- Jake." I muttered quietly but firmly.

"Lilly, would you just..." His plea was weak and small, so different to his usual demeanour and it made my heart crack. I kept my eyes fixed to the floor and repeated myself a little louder. I couldn't believe I was doing this and looking in his eyes would make me want to crawl under the covers and hide in his arms for the rest of my life with only toilet and food breaks separating us - so I didn't look up the whole time.

"I am sorry, Jake." With that, I turned sharply and walked out of my bedroom door, shutting it just loud enough for him to know I was serious but not too loud that it might upset his head because he was ill and that would have been too heartless for me to handle.

I ignored the soft voice I heard as I slid down the wall and flopped my head into my hands willing the tears that had brimmed in my eyes not to fall but I couldn't control them and being out of control seemed to be a recurring theme in my sappy and stupid life.

Jake's POV

My throat hurt, my nose hurt, my body hurt and my heart... my heart felt like it was being stabbed or pummelled and ripped from my chest. I wasn't a weak person, not normally. I was organised and calculated. I always did my taxes on time and never missed a bin collection day but this, this was a lot for anyone.

"I'm sorry, this isn't fair." Lilly sniffled as she nuzzled in close to me. She was so tiny compared to my large frame and her soft brown hair usually smelt like jasmine when I could breathe through my nose. My chest ached watching her brown eyes glisten and swell. She didn't deserve what happened to her and sometimes I felt like I was dying, just a little, every time she looked hurt. Lilly was the kind of girl (the only girl) who could tell me to jump and I would. I would jump with everything in me and wouldn't hate her if I plummeted to my death. I was pretty sure her letting me hold her was more comforting for me than for her. I traced my fingertips up her spine and cupped the back of her head, holding her neck in the space between my head and shoulder.

Then just like that, she sprung from my arms and was standing much too far away from me and I did not like it. My aching chest throbbed without her pressed against it, as if she was my heart and had pulled herself out of my ribcage. I was also not a fan of the itchy, stinging sensation lingering around in my nose.

"I'm sorry, Jakee- Jake." Her small voice muttered and I knew she was leaving me.

"Lilly, would you just..." I wanted her to look at me, to know I was being honest with her. I wanted her to know I was sorry for not telling her sooner but things were complicated and life was life. She stared at the floor like it was the most interesting and intriguing thing she'd ever seen and I found myself wishing I could be the floor. Why wouldn't she let me see her beautiful eyes? I felt like I was being starved of oxygen.

"I am sorry, Jake." Then she was leaving me, walking away from where I could reach her but I was too tired to move. I was too tired and my nose hurt and I was cold and I'd never remembered having a mother looking after me. The door closed, marking the final words of our small conversation.

"I need you" I tried to yell but I had no voice left and all that came out was a soft, pathetic sound that I didn't like and it wasn't me.

I wanted this ridiculous tickle in my nose to go away and I wanted to bury my self in a cover coffin and lay there until Lilly decided to save me and crawl into my arms.

I didn't know how much time had passed before I heard the noise. I do know that my nose butted it's ugly head before I could do anything about it.

"Heshoo...Ha... Herreshhoo...Happshuu!" I managed to suppress the last one into tissues that Lilly had left on the nightstand. Lilly.

The noise. It was a crash, a bang, a very loud and very worrying sound and before I knew it I was leaping from the bed and then immediately sitting back down on it with the worst case of head-rush in the history of the world.

"Hurrechoo, Ha-ashhoo, hurretchoo!" I begged my nose to leave me alone as I furiously scrubbed it against my knuckles whilst attempting to stand again.

"Lilly!" I yelled but it was cracked and useless.

---

Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuun

x

[Arty]

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Cliff hanger!!!! DX

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

No No No! Not a Cliffy!

(love it btw)

[ebay34]

NO NO CLIFFHANGERS ALLOWED!!!!

[Privatedancer]

So happy you are back and I can't wait to read more- you are a wonderful writer and I love these characters!

[Lietome]

Can't wait for the next part! It's perfect as always

[monochrome]

This is amazing! You're very talented~ Please write more!

[glaciosity]

So happy you are back and I can't wait to read more- you are a wonderful writer and I love these characters!

Thank you, I'm so glad you are enjoying it and I can't believe you said this was a favourite story of yours!

This part is a little hit and miss but I'm looking forward for you guys to see the next bit

-----

I stumbled awkwardly and clumsily, bracing my hands against the walls of the hallway as I staggered into the kitchen. Lilly was sprawled across the floor surrounded by pots and pans that appeared to have fallen from the cupboard above her. I slammed onto my knees next to her, breathing heavily.

"Lilly?" My voice was a concern filled whisper. Her face scrunched as she groaned and she gave a small mewing sound. I reached for her head where a small trickle of blood was running down her temple, my fingers shaking slightly.

"No!" She muttered, jerking her head away from me but wincing at the same time. I tried not to show how much that hurt me while switching to a different tactic.

"You have a little cut on your head sweetheart," my heart was beating rapidly in my chest and I could see her eyes widen and her breathing go uneven as I leaned a little closer "I just want to look, I won't touch you." I swallowed back my pain and braced my hands on either side of her body, trying to ignore how tiny she was underneath me.

There was a small cut at her hairline, darkening her brown hair. It wasn't serious, but I'm sure it still hurt. It looked like she'd reached for something in the cupboard but was on-slaughtered by a mass of metal. If she was talking to me, she would've asked me to reach it for her. Lilly only just reached my shoulder with her small height.

"It's not serious" I whispered quietly and relaxed my body so much, my head was almost resting on her chest. Relief took away the adrenaline and I began to recognise my sore body and stuffy head. "I'm going to get a wet cloth, please don't move." I watched her eyes to see if she was going to follow my order and stood. Head-rush hit me like a freight train and I staggered back into the kitchen counter, regaining my balance. Then I sneezed, and sneezed... and sneezed.

"Herrushhoo, Hummpffsshh, mmchmpff!" I stifled two half successfully in the crook of my elbow.

"Are you okay?" A little voice said from beneath me. Her eyes looked like those of a startled deer and her fingers twitched a little.

"No." I said bluntly and immediately felt guilty, "Are you okay?" I turned from her and wet some kitchen roll in the sink, the noise of the water almost cutting off her quiet reply.

"No." She sniffled and I crouched back down beside her dabbing gently at her head, scared I could break her. Her eyes watered and a small tear rolled from her eye followed by a few of his friends.

"Please don't cry, Lilly." I stopped dabbing and sat on my heels. She didn't stop crying. Her hands pawed behind her in an attempt to push herself up, I reached out to help her but she ignored me. Her hand batted away her tears angrily once she was sat up.

"You're not okay!" She half sobbed half choked. Lilly hid her head in her hands and sobbed making my heart ache. I gave up and scooped her into my arms, taking extra care not to jostle her. Luckily I managed to stand without the ground moving and walked slowly to the sofa. Carefully, I folded her into my arms and rocked her gently.

"I am okay, Lilly. I didn't mean to snap. I'm tired and grumpy and..."

"You're sick." She muttered between sobs. "You're sick and I suck and I'm sorry." I pressed my lips against her forehead and murmured gently to her.

"You don't suck. I'm just sa- sneezy. I'm just sneezy." I am so not sad, I couldn't be any more not sad.

Lilly's P.O.V

He really emphasised his point by turning his head away from me and sneezing over his shoulder.

"Hechoo, Hurechoo!" They sounded exhausting and painful.

"Bless you. You should go back to bed." I tried to sound authoritative from my hiding spot under his chin and started to get up feeling all kinds of guilty.

"Will you come with me this time?" He was all sweet and tired and floppy haired adorableness so of course it wouldn't hurt to curl up in bed with him for a second...or a minute or an hour or a lifetime... whatever. It was healing. I could ask him questions later. For now I was just so sleepy and he was so warm and manly smelling.

We crawled into bed and I knew I was being unfair, being hot and cold with him. I would wait, I could wait until he felt better to talk to him about why he didn't tell me about his mother. I just wanted him to hold me.

"So why did I find you surrounded by pots and pans?" His breath tickled the back of my neck as he reprised his role as big spoon while his voice was deep and husky.

"I wanted eggs." I sighed in contentment, drifting off to the sound of his soft chuckle until he said the words that could make anyone's heart stop.

"We need to talk."

--

Eeek, sorry about this ol' bit but the next has some classic fever care-taking and fluff xx

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! So cute!

[monochrome]

This is pure cuteness ; v ;