Guest Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 ... and now every moment is a terrifying nightmare of waiting for someone to 'like' my profile. Seriously, how the hell do you initiate conversation on these sites? You're largely all there for the same reason, to date, but just coming in and asking someone out seems weird. How much am I meant to be asking in an opening question? Should I try and be funny? Should I say little and hpe they're interested? I hate the internet Link to comment
Joal 555 Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 Should I try and be funny?Reminds me of some advice a friend of mine gave me before I did a best man's speech at his wedding. He said "no funnies, just be yourself........" (hardly a ringing endorsement)Anyway, the best advice I can give is to be yourself. There is no point in creating a different persona that you then have to maintain. If they don't like you for who you are, then they are not right for you in the first place.Although I must point out, I'm not exactly an expert in the dating department! Anyway, good luck! Link to comment
Kiwifruit Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 I've tried a dating site before. I ended up meeting my boyfriend elsewhere, but I met some really nice people! The most interesting guys generally said something like "Hi, I'm ___, I read your profile and you seem interesting/nice/whatever - I also like ____ and _____ and agree with you on ____! Would you be interested in chatting/meeting for coffee?" This shows you actually READ my profile (I stated "I am not interested in sex before marriage and this is not negotiable, so please don't contact me if you aren't okay with this " VERY clearly in my profile and still got guys acting really surprised if it came up later...xP). I got a lot of messages just saying "Hi, want to chat?" or "Hey, you seem nice." Nothing else. Doesn't exactly inspire conversation! I got sometimes a dozen messages a day, and replying got overwhelming - so these no-effort messages usually went last if I could be bothered replying to them at all...xPHumour is great, but...I got a few guys trying WAY too hard with that. One guy wrote a poem about how my skin was like cream, my nose was like a slope of cream, my hair like spun cream, my teeth (which weren't even showing in the photo!) were like chunks of cream...I can only presume they were trying to be funny, maybe sent this to everyone, but that just kinda weirded me out. Don't overdo it The most interesting conversations I had with people generally started with a simple introductory message, with a little info showing they read my profile/shared interests with me, then we just chatted like normal. Humour often comes up naturally later when the chat is going well. Just be yourself as Joal said, and see where it goes - if there's a connection it will show Also, everyone is different, but I preferred to exchange a few messages before talking about details like where I work (other than the non-specific 'in a pharmacy'), or talking about meeting. If the guy pushed too much for specific details or to meet right away I got nervous. Too many lectures about internet safety Good luck! Link to comment
Vendetta Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 im on one of these sites too...while they can be ok, you really gotta watch out for the tons of creeps that lurk around on them. ones that are way too pushy for info or come right out and say weird sexual things to you right away...they are the ones you gotta be careful about...lol and id personally never ever meet up with someone from a dating site, since apparently theres always a chance that someones not always who they seem to be, plenty of people lie about themselves on there.anyway good luck with that site, just dont trust people too quickly Link to comment
Grasper Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Humour is great, but...I got a few guys trying WAY too hard with that. One guy wrote a poem about how my skin was like cream, my nose was like a slope of cream, my hair like spun cream, my teeth (which weren't even showing in the photo!) were like chunks of cream.Have you heard of a TV show called 'The Mighty Boosh'? The guy talking to you was quoting it as that's a poem used within the show to describe one of the main characters love interests. Link to comment
Kiwifruit Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Ooh is THAT what it was xD It was...bizarre. Don't try that out unless the person said they like the show maybe? xP Ah well, I talked to him anyway and he turned out to be a pushy douche in other aspects, so yeh... Link to comment
Guest Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Yeah I think I probably tried too hard with the first person I messaged... but the second person messaged me back! I think I need to keep it simple but it's hard.How does one ask for someone with a beautiful sneeze without making it obvious? Lol. Link to comment
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