Weddings! Want one? Had one?

[YoriYori]

I was hoping to hear some opinions on wedding ceremonies . Either the wedding you hope to have for yourself (or not) or the one you did have.

-If you've not yet had one but imagine you will someday (even if you're currently single or very young and years away from marriage), why do you want one?

-If you don't want one, why not?

-If you're already married and you did have one, what do you feel that it means to you? Do you think you'd regret not having one? Why?

I think I'm asking because I'm at that age where my Facebook feed is filled with wedding photos and pregnancy announcements. My best friend is having a ceremony next weekend too (she's already legally been married for a while - they just took time to save up to have a really fancy wedding). So it's been on my mind a lot lately. When I think about what I want for my own wedding, I honestly can't picture the hall full of nicely dressed, smiley faced guests, my man in a tux and me in a flowy, white gown. It's just. I don't know. I think weddings are great and all, but for some reason I can't really see myself doing all that. Am I just not interested? Is that OK? My wallet certainly says that's just fine. But I feel weird like... why am I not interested in such a thing? I try to think, would I feel bad someday in the future when I'm older if I had no wedding pictures to show my kids/grandkids? How would my family feel if I was just like, "yeah, I'm cool with just having a legal document saying we're together and nothing more." Part of me says it's just because being with him is enough. I don't really need to have a big party or follow a ceremonial template to make it real. Another part of me says maybe there's something wrong with me. I have a lot of confidence issues and I have a hard time being around people I don't know (meaning I rarely leave my house in daylight). I don't like to make things all about me. Which is what a wedding ceremony would be (well, all about us). I also know for a fact the boyfriend doesn't really care too much about a ceremony. He mentions it but always really super low-key and maybe a few years after the marriage license due to the cost. And, though I haven't asked for sure, I feel like he'd be OK not having a ceremony too. If he did badly want one for whatever reason, I'd go through with it if it was small enough, but if he didn't push it... maybe it wouldn't happen.

[murphy dee]

I always thought I would want a wedding ceremony, but as I've grown and seen friends get married and actually gone to these weddings, I've discovered that my GOD are they atrocious and so few people actually enjoy dressing up and going to them. I would much rather go down to the courthouse and sign papers and then just have a huge informal party to celebrate, and I know my boyfriend feels the same way.

I mean the logistics of actually putting together a wedding are insane to me, and the last thing I'd want to deal with is a wedding planner and looking through binders full of napkin colors or whatever.

Plus it helps that neither of us is religious in any sense of the word, so we don't feel the need to have a big wedding in a church or anything.

Oooo, actually, now that I think about it, an extremely intimate wedding ceremony would be kinda nice if it were done on the beach or something. Like in Hawaii or Oregon, someplace where I have a lot of childhood memories. That would be nice. And then we could be barefoot. My uncle got married barefoot. AND I'm rambling. XD

[Grasper]

Both my parents never married while they were together, I grew up in a household that didn't really see that as a 'must-have'.

I'm not one of those people that dreams of getting married, I would only get married if the guy I was with had his heart completely set on it. Because I think all the reasons for marriage other than loving someone are completely redundant, like having illegitimate children (like me) are no longer a stigma, also (primarily women) needing a man to support them fully, whereas now women can be fully independent.

But hey, if you want to be married, why should I stop you? I know a lot of people want to do it to celebrate their love which is completely fine.

But IF I did get married, I'd have a very quick simple ceremony, non-religious (unless the guy wanted a religious one, then I'd do it to please him). I wouldn't spend loads on a dress or anything I don't see the point in spending £300+ on a dress I'm gonna wear once. I'd spend a lot more on the reception/party afterwards because that's for everyone.

[PuddinPop]

I'm the opposite...

I WANT A HUUUUGE WEDDING!!!

I'm currently engaged, but it won't happen for a long time yet, but I'm informally planning it all the time.

I wouldn't get married at a church, because neither myself or my SO are religious in any way. I want to be married at a beautiful stately home with massive spiral staircases and balconies and vast fields for photos

I want a beautiful black and white wedding dress, my bridesmaids will have a red and silver colour scheme and the groom's party will have black suits and shirts with silver ties.

I think the reason I want this huge ceremony is because I have never had all the attention on me. I have never felt that I was attractive or anything so I just wanted one day out my life where I feel beautiful in myself just for once and I want my SO to see me that way too, because I constantly panic he doesn't...

But, yeah, big wedding for me

[Anonymouse]

My parents hate weddings so much they asked me to elope.

I'm currently engaged, but we don't plan on actually getting married for a few years. All of my money is going straight to school right now and after that I would rather have money for a house than a wedding. We'll probably get married in a field somewhere with like ten guests.

[Blah!?]

I think I definitely want to get married someday, assuming I can find someone crazy enough to say yes to me. That's going to be the hard part.

As for having a grand ceremony, I hadn't really thought about that, to be honest. I'm not sure I want the attention that comes with something like that. All I know is I really want to dance to music from Studio Ghibli movies with someone special. Merry Go Round Of Life and One Summer's Day being top contenders. And that doesn't even have to be done at a big ceremony anyway...

I'm such a dork. But I just felt like putting that out there. I don't even know how to dance. xD That's just the most cheesy, romantic thing my stunted dork mind can process.

[PuddinPop]

Lol, you're not a dork Blah!

I've planned to do a flash mob at my wedding to this song

(inside joke with me and my SO) after our forst dance which is a song from Back To the Future https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvYVqpfH__0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I think I come under the "dork" catergory for this

[Anonymouse]

I think I come under the "dork" catergory for this

I suppose then I also come under the "dork" category for considering having a post-apocalyptic or Fallout-themed wedding.

[Blah!?]

I think I come under the "dork" catergory for this

I suppose then I also come under the "dork" category for considering having a post-apocalyptic or Fallout-themed wedding.

Will you pretend to marry me for one day just so I can do this?

[Anonymouse]

I think I come under the "dork" catergory for this

I suppose then I also come under the "dork" category for considering having a post-apocalyptic or Fallout-themed wedding.

Will you pretend to marry me for one day just so I can do this?

LOL anything for you Blah.

[Salamander]

I am married!

I was engaged at 18 and married at 22. I didn't think I wanted to be married either, but it made a lot of sense for Mr Sal and I because we wanted to (and did!) move abroad. We also wanted to make a commitment, and have the legal protection marriage affords. I only wanted a simple ceremony and a small party, and I ended up with more than that, and I am glad I did. See below.

I resolved not to think about my wedding until I finished uni, and then planned it in three months (a blip of time and almost impossible- here in the uk people often pick a venue years in advance!) I'm glad I did. By the time it rolled around I was utterly sick of the word "wedding." Neither Mr. Sal nor I are Christian, so we were married in the town hall. We had a BIG wedding by most people's standards, 120+ people, in a hall in my village that was free. We did "lots of people on the cheap," I baked a three tier cake with my Mum, which was a hilarious time all by itself, my sisters designed and made the decorations. My uncle was the photographer. We had a kaeligh to a folk band Informal dress code, we had a buffet and then later we had chilli and baked potatoes and sat on the grass drinking wine. I am proud to say my guests say it was the most fun wedding they went to. Not the most beautiful, or most touching, but it was more like a lovely garden party. Bam!

I learned a lot about receiving from my wedding. Often I was given things, or had things arranged for me, that I didn't really care about, but were very important to the person giving them. I learned to be gracious, and that as long as the gift isn't an imposition it can be a kindness to accept it. I couldn't have cared less about a fancy car, but my Dad wanted to rent one for me, so he did. It was a classic car and I couldn't tell you what model it was, but it made him SO happy and we could afford it, so I'm glad. My wedding was also a gift to the rest of my family, including my Grandparents whom I am very close to, who are very sick and mobility impaired now. The timing was a gift, so that they could all attend, and having a bigger reception than I planned meant I could arrange them to have their carers there. That was more important to me than my idea of a simple wedding.

It was an awesome party, and now we have legal protection. I don't feel it changed my relationship to Mr. Sal in any way. I know we married young, but I feel very good about my choice. It is VERY helpful if you are an immigrant, like what I am. Also, it gave Mr. Sal and I a firm base from which to open our relationship, which is another story for another time. We were married at 22, not religious, and certainly not boring.

[Kiwifruit]

I would like a small, fairly informal wedding, where my partner and I commit to each other for life and dedicate our relationship to God in front of close friends and family. I'd like it in a church, or outside in a park/garden with lots of flowers and greenery...I really can't be bothered with coordinating freakin' everything or making a huge fuss about how it all must be though. To be honest, I wouldn't even want to be bothered with bridesmaids and things...though I have four younger siblings so I have a decent wedding party right there xD

I'm much more excited about my honeymoon and getting to spend all that time with my new husband in a lovely location, just the two of us...*dreams*

[Coffee Mug]

Yes. I can't wait to get married. Just waiting to find the right man

Never been married.

[Vetinari]

all about me. Which is what a wedding ceremony would be (well, all about us).

All about you (both) is exactly what it should be. And if you don't want a ceremony, then don't. Like Salamander, mine was all arranged within a relatively short timescale. The idea of the hugely expensive, planned to perfection over years vibe didn't fit us at all. Of course, some people head off to somewhere lovely and get hitched on the beach without any family. Sometimes I believe they have an informal celebration/party when they get back... because weddings aren't always all about you if you have family who will be hurt if they are left out completely. But whatever fits, just go for it. It's your day after all.

[SapphiraNN]

My father and my father's fiance are going to have a country wedding on march 15th of 2014. *nodnod* Can't wait to see Dad in a tux

[SapphiraNN]

oh but me personally.. no never been married but i want to marry one day.. one day when i find "the one"..

[Chanel_no5]

I really want to get married. White dress, champagne, roses, the works.

The biggest issue is that I don't have a bride.

Yet.

[Mslovesroses]

I also really want to get married. If I can find someone that I love and that loves me, I'm going to (hopefully) be settled down with a kid in ten years. Looking forward to the good times and the bad - all of it. It's what makes life, life.

[smooshi]

Hopefully I won't be getting hitched with anyone anytime soon , but I've been thinking 'bout my wedding quite a lot. By now I can tell that I'm torn between:

1) that childhood wish to have a big white wedding on some big meadow

2) the need to ridicule the ceremony the way I ridicule pretty much anything formal and turn it into a giant themed party

3) the cliché Yugoslav wedding in a hall with a heap of bad wine, lamb and a shitload of crappy folk music everyone would expect me to have.

4) not having a ceremony at all.

5) not getting married

6) cravling into some dark, humid cave and not having any human contact ever again.

I guess saying "I don't know" would be much easier.

[Chanel_no5]

6) cravling into some dark, humid cave and not having any human contact ever again.

Oh, right, that's my second choice. After fancy classy classic wedding with champagne, roses, white dresses. That's still on top of my list, but the cave (or living in a tree, I've considered that as well) is beginning to look like a rather likely alternative.

Seriously though. I don't necessarily want a big wedding with lots of guests, but I want it to be dreamy.