Studying abroad fears?

[Galaxy]

For the past couple years, I haven't made plans to go to college. I've wanted to, but my mom told me that I would be paying for everything, and I didn't think drowning in debt would be worth it. I'm a senior in high school now, and she's been dating a really nice guy--a really nice RICH guy---that wants to marry her sometime within the next few months. She's told me that he's said that he'll help her with my college expenses, and we got to talking about something I would really want to do. I want to be a French teacher/interpreter, or a professor of French studies, anything like that. I LOVE anything French, and it's always been such a dream and fascination of mine.

After talking for a while, she said that if I'd like, I can study abroad in Paris. At first, I was SO crazy excited, because I've never been to Europe. I've left my Colorado home many times to vacation in southern countries, like Mexico and Puerto Rico and things, but never anywhere else. Plus, as mentioned, Paris has always been a huge dream of mine, and French culture is something I've always loved desperately.

My problem is, I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared I won't be able to learn the language well enough before then. I'm scared that no one will hire me for a part-time job because I'm foreign. I'm scared that I won't understand the culture, and maybe say something that will insult someone that I have no idea about. I'm scared I won't make friends. And the expenses for studying abroad aren't SO big (many of the programs I've looked at are around 15,000 a semester, which is a hell of a lot cheaper than most American educations), but I'm scared of what will happen if this guy and my mom don't work out, or whatever.

I just have a lot of fears about studying so far away from home, but at the same time, I feel like an opportunity like this shouldn't be passed up. Did/has anyone ever gone to live somewhere far different from what you've been raised in? And even if you haven't, I'd seriously just appreciate words of advice or encouragement from anyone. I just feel really alone in this because I come from a really little town, and literally no one around here has ever even been given the opportunity to travel in such a way as I'm going to. I just don't know who to turn to.

[Joal 555]

Both my nieces left the comfort of their home in England to live and study in Israel. The younger one in particular is quite shy and I am proud of how she was courageous enough to make that choice and then make a success of it.

I'm afraid I don't have any actual advice Galaxy, but I have confidence in you as a person and I hope you can gain some comfort from hearing about what other people have successfully achieved.

I feel sure that you too will make people proud of you, whatever you choose to do.

(PS I was far too inadequate at that age to even contemplate something like that!)

[•.*°•☆. Q .☆•°*.•]

I had a friend who was going to study abroad and she went to paris and got a job as an au pair and she loved it so much that she MOVED to paris the next year.

ETA: she was much afraid in the beginning as well, is why I bring it up. I think you can do the thing and you will enjoy it similarly.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

I think every big change is going to be very scary. When I went to university, I chose a university close to my parent's home so I wouldn't have to move out. For the first year that might have been a good choice, but in hindsight, I'm much happier since I moved uni's and moved out even though it was scary.

It sounds like an awesome opportunity! I think one of the big questions is: do you feel you could live on your own? I think the big advantage of modern technology is that you could keep in contact with your friends back home better than if you had lived a decade ago.

Best of luck whichever you end up doing!

[YoriYori]

My problem is, I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared I won't be able to learn the language well enough before then. I'm scared that no one will hire me for a part-time job because I'm foreign. I'm scared that I won't understand the culture, and maybe say something that will insult someone that I have no idea about. I'm scared I won't make friends. And the expenses for studying abroad aren't SO big (many of the programs I've looked at are around 15,000 a semester, which is a hell of a lot cheaper than most American educations), but I'm scared of what will happen if this guy and my mom don't work out, or whatever.

I just have a lot of fears about studying so far away from home, but at the same time, I feel like an opportunity like this shouldn't be passed up. Did/has anyone ever gone to live somewhere far different from what you've been raised in? And even if you haven't, I'd seriously just appreciate words of advice or encouragement from anyone. I just feel really alone in this because I come from a really little town, and literally no one around here has ever even been given the opportunity to travel in such a way as I'm going to. I just don't know who to turn to.

You have a lot of fears about this, but you know what? It's perfectly natural and most of all it's OK.

When I was in high school and university I wanted desperately to study abroad. In high school it just wouldn't work because I was too shy. In university I tried to make it work, but because my study path was not clear enough and I was too nervous about whether or not I'd get real benefit from the school abroad I didn't follow through. Eventually I made it overseas and before I left I had many of the same fears as you. I spent a lot of time wonder how I'd live on my own, what if I got into trouble, how could I make friends, would I really enjoy it, etc etc. I also really, REALLY didn't want to be alone! In the end I decided that if I didn't go, I would be fine because I'd remain in my comfort zone with my family and familiar culture. But if I didn't go the sense of regret would be too much to deal with. There is nothing to be lost by at least giving it a try. There are a lot of opportunities to be missed out on by doing nothing though. If it turns out to be too much or not for you, there is NO shame in going back home early if it is the most healthy thing for you to do.

And I'm going to be honest, a lot of your other fears will probably come true to some extent. You will probably insult someone on accident because of cultural differences. This isn't your fault. It's the way things are going to happen. No foreigner can be expected to automatically know and conform exactly to their new culture. It's a process. You will probably experience some sort of discrimination based on your foreignness (unintentional or intentional). Again, this isn't a judgement of your value as a person. It's something that happens when two cultures meet and it's your opportunity to be an example by how you choose to handle and learn/teach from it. You will definitely have some very intersting (if not heated) debates with people you meet from other countries!

The bottom line is, to achieve your dream you're going to have to accept the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, the joy and the disappointment. In the end you will be a more cultured person with a broader world view and priceless expeirence that will be with you and change you for the rest of your life. Maybe even score you some different job opportunities in the future!

In my own experiences abroad I have mad many difficulties and many joys. The stress caused me to become very sick for a long time. But I wouldn't change my experience for anything. I met so many amazing people, found a wonderful man, and best of all I challenged myself and succeeded in doing something I always dreamed of but didn't actually believe I could do. I think my only regret is that I'm now torn between my two home countries and the new country I live in. I can't decide where I want to be. That is a danger for sure!

(Sorry maybe it's tl;dr coming from a large mixed family representing many countries foreign experience is something I'm very passionate about...)