SpookyScarySkeleton Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 So uh here's uhm a fic I wrote c: Enjoy it. ------Charecters: Elias & Derek. Original. --- This morning the dark haired boy woke up with his nasal passages iterated . Derek scrubbed at his nose trying to rid of the growing itch blossoming close to his septum piercing. He moved his piercing lightly then just took it out knowing it was just irratating his nose more ontop of his seasonal allergys. Derek got out of his bed & then walked to the bathroom , brushed his jet Colored hair and brushed his teeth. The Teal eyed boy went downstairs , he snatched a cereal bar from the counter then went to school. He arrived at school , walked to his locker sniffling a lot due to his allergys again. Derek smiled at the blonde-haired boy standing infront of his locker, Elias kissed Derek's nose lightly & giggled. The dark haired boy smirked at how cute his boyfriend is , but his smirk faded away as his red nostrils flared as a pre-sneeze face settled on his face, eyebrows knit & eyes semi-close he finally gave in to the sneeze "Hitchieww Hitchieww". He blinked his allergy tear rimmed eyes in shock of a second sneeze. Elias chuckled & said "Bless you babe, my bad ". Derek replied " it's fine love, just allergys today". The freckled smaller boy wrapped his arms around the taller boys waist & stroked his dark hair. Derek passed Elias of about a foot . The teal eyed male found the smaller boy adorable & sweet. Derek looked into Elias' green eyes & smiled then they kissed on the lips. The bell rang & they broke away the kiss. The smaller boy shivered slightly, only beeing In a green t-shirt . Derek took off his leather jacket putting it on Elias c: . The freckled boy smiled & said "thank you ". The boy with dark hair said "No problem Love " . Derek & Elias walked to there science class hand in hand , much to the taller boys dislike they were going outside today. The smaller boy this time had to sneeze, probly from dust . Derek looked over at Elias as the smaller boys facial features twitched, his nose & lip quivered .. his outburst finally came " Ish'g Ish'g" small cat-like sneezes much smaller than Derek's . The teal eyed boy laughed at how cute his sand-haired boyfriend is, he bent down slightly & kissed Elias' forehead murmuring a "Bless you" . The smaller boy smiled in thanks. They finally arrived outside, quite to Derek's distaste. Elias skipped along the pavement to the field tugging on Derek's arm, in hint for him to walk faster. They arrived to the emerald grass field. The rest of the class was already there. Today's assiment was to find several types of flowers . Derek made a face at such a stupid assiment, as if he didn't have his allergies kicking his ass enough today. Elias dragged Derek to a tree & the smaller boy picked Daisies for his his assiment., secretly for his boyfriend . The golden haired boy put the flowers behind his back then he poked the teal eyed boy, Derek looked into his green eyes then Elias said "Suprise love ! c:" smiling he handed over the daisies to Derek . The tuff male was now taken by suprise but accepted the flowers not wanting to admit he was allergic to them, good thing Elias Didnt know it was more of a thing of pride but still. The small boy said "Smell them love" . The teal eyed boy wanted to object but smelt them anyhow, not long after his nostrils twitched & he had a plethora of sneezes tumbling out of him "Heh?-Hitchoo Hitchieww Hitchoo heh-Hatchoo !" he sniffled miserably . The freackled boy said "Im sorry love, are you allergic?." he kissed the ebony haired boys cheek . Derek blushed scarlet & said "Yes, don't rub it in" . Elias giggled at how embarrassed his athletic boyfriend was. Usually he was so tuff, the smaller boy was amused a wall of muscle like Derek could be defeated. The teal eyed muscular male was on various sports teams, sometimes having to miss practises because of the pollen count. --------------------------------------------------- TBC?. I don't know if I should continue o.o just something out of my mind. Enjoy please . Feedback is needed c: Link to comment
PetalPunk Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Cute story, though you do have some typos. And it would help the readers if you separated the paragraphs where people are talking. Where would you go if you were to continue? What kind of plot do you have planned? I think you should continue if you have an idea, but don't push anything--if the plot doesn't flow naturally, then it's totally fine as a little one shot. Link to comment
Lace Butterfly Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Good start, I like how you described Derek's eyes as "teal coloured" Link to comment
Malachite Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I'd encourage you to continue, this is really sweet ^^On the side of productive feedback, leaving a line empty in the middle or so may make the reading easier. But otherwise - well done you! ^^ Link to comment
SpookyBoi Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Cute. Yes continue. Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Cute. Yes continue.Sorry but I will not be continueing on this thread.But if you wouldn't mind to head over to this thread >> http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=53135 . I have a ton of drabbles written up ! feel free to lurk.Feedback is greatly apreciated c: Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Blah okay. Fine fine. Just because I can I'll continue this but I need ideas or a certain plot Im out of ideas haha. Link to comment
SpookyBoi Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Yay okay let me think Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 Yay okay let me thinkGotcha.If there's anything.( questions)Pm me c:. Link to comment
SpookyBoi Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Okay so there in love they must of me somewhere. So what if you go back to where they first met. What if ones a nerd that nobody knows and he's the popular guy that everyone knows. Has a GF and everything believes he's straight. On total different ends of the spectrum but they meet in a specific club that nobody every expect mr popular to be in. He threaten if the nerd tells anyone he make his life a living hell but over a series of time they fall in love and one of them confesses there love... Don't judge me I'm girl who adores drama and fluffiness. Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 22, 2013 Author Share Posted November 22, 2013 Okay ill update. Sorry if it's not what you want. Title : Oppisites Attract . -------------------------------------------- Derek Smith had no idea what he was in for joining the chess club. Elias Carter was also in this club. Derek was the most popular guy in school, M.v.p for the football team, handsome, tall and had a beautiful blonde cheerleader as a gf. Why was Derek in this club?. He entered the classroom then sat down at a random seat, wearing black skinnys , a v-neck , aqua vans and a leather jacket it was obvious he's fab. Then a small blonde sat beside him. The blonde muttered a shy "hello". Derek said in a cool tone "Yo". Elias was confused why a dumbass like Derek would want to play chess. Although secretly , the dark haired male was the top of his classes. The blonde smirked and said "What are you doing here, chess is for smart people Hun". Derek glares at him his teal eyes slim and he said "I know nerd, I'm well aware" but his glare was broken by his need to sneeze, he sneezed un-covered on Elias "Hitchoo". The blonde said "Bless you, cover your damn mouth jerk". ----------------------------------------------- Notes: Ill add another part. Tbc or no?. Link to comment
Tantrums Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Yes continue! "Bless you, cover your damn mouth jerk"LOL Link to comment
SpookyBoi Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Continue, u did a wonderful job! Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Awh thanks. Yeh "bless you, cover your damn mouth jerk" was my favorite line too write. Onto it then . Title : Opisites Attract part II. ------------------------------------------------- Derek replied "I don't need to cover my mouth, calm down it's only allergies dork." . Elias glares at him and then said "Alright then, be an asshole mr.popular. ". The dark haired male replied "Oh well I can kick your ass at chess". They both glares at eachother then started playing. Surprisingly Derek was winning but as he was making his last move to win his nostrils flared and his face set into a pre-sneeze expression. Elias gave him a look of disgust and said "Cover your mouth this time" but it was too late as Derek snapped forward loudly and the gusts of wind knocking over the chess pieces "Hurshoo Hurshoo". The teal eyed male then sniffled and said "Uh excuse be" .Elias couldn't tell if he was dreaming but mr.popular seemed to be blushing. The blonde then said "Youre excused, learn proper hygiene". Derek gave him a glare. They started talking about bands , shows and movies learning they had much more in common than they think.. ------------------------------------------------- Notes : Thanks so much for the feedback . Tbc or no? Link to comment
Tantrums Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Awe I love the boys interactions with each other just so cute!!!!! Why can't real life be like this!? WHY! FLUFF! Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Sorry I could've gotten to this sooner but I've been watching movies all day. yay for sick movie days . Anyways onto the next part. Title : Opposites Attract part III ----------------------------------------- The boys soon found out their favorite movie was the same . Lilo&stitch 1 through 3/4 ( Lilo&Stitch, Stitch! The movie(prequel I think. It's the opening movie to the series of L&S) . Lilo&stitch2:Stitch has a glitch and Lilo&stitch III : Leroy&Stitch). They continued talking then Derek figured out he's gay. Soon the dark haired male broke up with the blonde cheerleader then the chick said "I always knew you were a flaming homo you freak!". The girl slapped his face then left. Elias went over to Derek's Locker then kissed his cheek "It's okay love.". He wipes a single tear from the tuff boy's teal eyes then they kissed. Soon they went out. -------------------------------------- Notes : Enjoy tell me if you guys want another part of first day of dating fluff. Link to comment
Tantrums Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Your characters have such a way with words. Link to comment
SpookyBoi Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww more this is so perfect Link to comment
SpookyScarySkeleton Posted November 24, 2013 Author Share Posted November 24, 2013 Ehem thank you haha I just tryed to make the charecters interesting. Any requests?. because I'm out of ideas. Link to comment
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