Blah!? Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Inspired by all the joke threads I've been noticing lately...I love me some good anti-humor. Basically, jokes are funny because they betray your expectations. Anti-humor is funny because it betrays your expectations again and gives you something totally mundane. Some examples:What's blue and smells like red paint?Blue paint.---A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is safely released into a nearby park.---What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?Slavery.---What's green and has wheels?Grass. I lied about the wheels.---Not much else to say about it, is there?Moral of the story is: Does anyone else have any favorite bits of anti-humor? There's always plenty of good jokes to go around. Link to comment
Marshmallow Peep Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Ooh! Anti jokes are the best! One of my best friends taught me some good ones!Anyways, here are the few I know.Knock knockWho's there?Jimmy!Jimmy who?Jimmy runs away crying because his grandmother's Alzheimer's has caused her to forget his name.Why did the bird fall out of the tree?Because someone shot it.Why was the penguin sad?Because global warming killed his family.Why did the boy drop his ice cream?Because he got hit by a bus.--------------------------------That's all I know. They're really bad, but being anti jokes make them kinda good, right? Link to comment
PuddinPop Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Why was six afraid of seven?It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.---What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."---How are a plum and a rabbit alike?They're both purple, except for the rabbit.--- Why did the airplane crash?Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.I have no more to offer Link to comment
zneeze Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 What did the pony say when it had a sore throat?Nothing. It was resting its sore throat... and ponies can't talk.Want to hear a funny joke?Women's rights.(No offense to the women of the forum, I'm a feminist)Blah, do you follow Anti-Joke Apple on Twitter? You'll get a decent anti-joke from them once in a while, but most of the feed is made up of bad puns, so I wouldn't recommend it. Just wondering if you knew of it. (This nearly turned into an anti-joke itself...) Link to comment
Sneeze999 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 - A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: "We have a drink named after you!" The horse reply's: "What, Eric?"- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because it tasted good on the pizza.- Knock knock Who's there? Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln who? Don't you know me?- Knock knock Who's there? Thomas Jefferson Thomas Jefferson who? Was Abraham Lincoln just here?Thats all I got! Link to comment
smooshi Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Why can't the t-rex clap?Because it's dead.Why did a little girl fall off a swing?Because she had no arms.What do you call a Muslim driving an aeroplane?A pilot.What did a lawyer say to another lawyer?"We're both lawyers".How do you make a plumber cry?By killing his family member.Your friend is so gay that he fancies other men.There is an Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew standing in a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.-Ask me if I'm a tree!-Are you a tree?-No.What do you call a trans woman?Her name.Why does Chuck Norris make the best milkshakes in the world?Because he uses the best ingredients.Friends are a lot like trees: they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.What did a farmer say when he lost his tractor?"Where is my tractor?"Sorry if I offended anyone, it wasn't my intention. Link to comment
Sophie<3 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 These are great! What would George Washington do if he were alive today?- Desperately claw at the inside of his coffin.What did Harry Potter say to Ron Weasley?- A lot. There are seven books.Two chemists are at a bar. One says, "I'd like some water." The other says "I'd like some Hydrogen Peroxide."The second one died.How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?Depends on how much red paint you have.A man walks around a corner. What's missing?The joke.A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse responds "I've just realized I'm a metaphysical concept residing within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence." Link to comment
HoneyBunny Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 These are way funnier than they should be...Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?Because it's dead.Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?Because it was stapled to the first monkey.And why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?Peer pressure. Link to comment
smmoct3 Posted December 21, 2013 Share Posted December 21, 2013 My Spanish teacher from 8th grade told us this one every day, and the more he told it the more we laughed from the stupidity of it. Knock knock. Who's there?Moist.Moist who?Moist oyster. Yup that's all I got! (Lameeeeee I know I'm sorry!) Link to comment
Kuchafya613 Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Yo mama is so stupid, she probably had a difficult time in school.Yo mama is so fat, she might want to consider an exercise and diet regiment.Why did Sally fall off the swing?Because she has no arms.Knock knock.Who's there?Not Sally.How do you confuse a blonde?Paint yourself green and throw forks at her. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.