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Kuroko no Baske: "An Unhealthy Direction"


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*Peeks out from Lurker Rock* Sorry, no third part to add to my Free! thread yet. I'm still waiting for inspiration. I thought I'd try a different fandom in the meanwhile. So here, "Kuroko no Baske" fic! I haven't been interested in any sports anime since "Prince of Tennis" and "Whistle", but this one is pretty awesome (and better, I think), and Kuroko is a precious baby that needs cuddles and/or torture. Sadly, he only has Kagami, who's pretty hopeless. No spoilers for any events in the anime, just the basic plot and characters. Kuroko and Kagami being themselves, so not too much more m/m than the anime already implies. There will be a second part, but this was getting kind of long so I thought I'd post what I already have. Here are pictures of the characters if you haven't seen it yet. http://images6.fanpo...019-500-404.png

It took Kagami three days to figure it out. He guessed that was kind of embarrassing (Kuroko sat right behind him in class), but Kuroko’s skill was going unnoticed. It probably would have taken Kagami longer if Kuroko himself hadn’t slipped up.

The first day, it was the sudden, jerking movements. Kagami kept noticing them during practice, which was weird because you usually never saw Kuroko until he was sending the ball off into an unexpected direction. But every so often his attention would be caught by Kuroko spazzing in the corner of his eye, when he was nowhere near the ball, and Kagami would wonder briefly before getting his head back into the game. At the lockers later, he considered demanding to know why Kuroko was being so distracting, but the smaller boy managed to shower off, change, and leave while somehow being invisible, and Kagami grumbled and dropped it.

The second day, it was his face. Kagami noticed the unhealthy pallor when he first came into the classroom, but when he turned around at lunch to get a closer look, Kuroko was gone. At practice, Kuroko was flushed red and sweating, but so was everyone else, so Kagami didn’t really notice the glassy eyes or dark bags under them. That was, until Kuroko started jerking again, and Kagami stopped and stared and opened his mouth before he was hit with a basketball to the chest. Then he had to deal with Riko chewing him out about paying attention. Kagami was ready to take his frustration out on Kuroko for distracting him, but couldn’t find the other boy after practice, so he settled his temper by dunking balls on a street court for an hour.

The third day, it was Kuroko passing out on the court.

To Riko’s credit, she noticed pretty quickly (Kagami guessed you had to be conscious to use Misdirection), and the sudden sharp whistle had them stopping and looking around before seeing her rushing towards a body sprawled on the ground.

Kagami got there second, face scrunched up in confusion and concern. “Oi, Kuroko…” He reached out a hand to shake his shoulder, and was smacked away abruptly by his coach. “Back up” she ordered distractedly, as her hands moved professionally over Kuroko, taking his pulse, checking his head and legs. She felt his forehead and frowned, and when she peeled open an eye to check his pupil, Kuroko groaned and shifted.

“Mitobe, wet towel. Koganei, water. Hyuga, First Aid Kit.” Each boy ran off, and Riko began lightly patting Kuroko’s cheek. “Kuroko, wake up now. Kuroko. Wake up.”

Kuroko finally blinked open his blue eyes, staring blearily up at Riko and Kagami hunched over him, and the rest of the team standing above.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Riko said, showing two.


“Does your head hurt?”

“Just a headache.” At Riko’s frown, Kuroko added “I didn’t hit it. I had it before.”

Riko frowned harder. The three boys she had sent off came running back, panting, and Hyuga passed her the kit. Riko rummaged through it, grabbed a thermometer and jammed it in Kuroko’s mouth with little finesse. Glancing up at the rest of the team, she snapped out “Two laps. Go.”

The other boys took off, grumbling, but ran faster when Riko bellowed “Three!” at their backs. Kagami was about to stand up to join them, but Riko told him to stay while she began wiping Kuroko’s face with the wet towel.

The thermometer beeped, and Riko took it out and glared at the number. She yanked up Kuroko’s shirt, and ignored his startled noise while she glanced over his chest. Pulling it back down, she shoved the water bottle towards him and crossed her arms while Kagami helped Kuroko to sit up and take a drink. “What were you thinking?”

Kuroko set the bottle down after a few swallows. “I didn’t want to hold up the team.”

“And that’s one lap.” Riko said with a bright, terrifying smile, “to be paid back when you’re not passing out on my court. You call this not holding up the team? How long have you been sick?”

Kuroko shifted nervously, and his voice was almost a whisper as he said “Three days.”

“And now it’s four laps.” Their coach replied sweetly, danger in her tone. “If you had let me know the first day, and rested properly, you’d be well today and able to practice. Instead, you’ve been coming to practice and risking your teammates’ health as well-” Kuroko flinched “-so that’s another three laps for those days. And, let me guess, you’ve been practicing on your own afterwards as well, rather than going home? Let’s add another three. So that makes…how many, I wonder?”

Kuroko and Kagami both cringed away from the demonic aura radiating from their coach’s wide smile, and Kuroko coughed lightly and murmured “Ten”.

Riko clapped. “Good to see the fever hasn’t fried your brain yet. Because a few degrees higher, and I’d be sending you to the hospital.” Kagami could feel Kuroko trembling from where his hand still rested on his back, and he wondered if it was from the fever or justified terror of their coach. Riko turned to him, and Kagami told himself later that he didn’t flinch. “Get this idiot to the showers, hot, before his body cools down and makes things worse. Make sure he’s dry and bundled up afterwards. The school clinic should still be open, so they can call to have someone pick him up-”

“I’m sorry, but there’s actually no one able to come and get me today.” Kuroko interrupted quietly. “I can walk home, it isn’t far.

Riko eyed him, unimpressed, and sighed, digging into the First Aid Kit again. She handed Kagami some wrapped pills. “Have him take these, and get him home safely.” She turned back to Kuroko. “If I see you at school tomorrow, you’re doing your laps naked.”

Kuroko gulped and nodded, and Kagami pulled him to his feet so they could escape to the showers.

Kagami stood around awkwardly while Kuroko showered off. As long as the smaller boy was standing upright, he figured that was good enough; although doing nothing but watching while your teammate was wet and naked was kind of weird. He was sort of glad he was watching when Kuroko turned off the water, turned around, and immediately slipped.

Kagami jumped forward with a startled English curse. He grabbed Kuroko’s arms and hauled him into his chest before his head could meet the tile. “Geez, Kuroko.”

The thin frame he was holding was panting lightly. “My apologies” Kuroko murmured.

Kagami realized his teammate was now wet, naked, and soaking into his gym clothes. Turning red, he hooked one arm around Kuroko’s torso and dragged him into the locker room. Shoving him down on a bench, he threw a towel and Kuroko’s gym bag towards the other boy, ordering him to dry off, get changed, “and don’t even think about standing up until I’m done, idiot”.

Rushing through his shower as quickly as possible, Kagami returned while he was still toweling his hair to find a dressed Kuroko making those funny jerking motions again. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?” He demanded, striding forward. “Are you having a seizure or what?” He put a large hand on Kuroko’s forehead, pushing his head up to better see his face. The heat from Kuroko’s skin startled him.

“Kagami-kun, I-” Kuroko’s eyes closed and his head snapped forward again, bumping into Kagami’s palm. “I’m fine, I am not having a-” Another head snap, and another, and another.

Kagami stared blankly at Kuroko, automatically keeping his hand on the other boy’s forehead to prevent whiplash. “The hell? Are you sneezing?”

“Yes.” Kuroko said simply, before his shoulders scrunched up and he jerked forward again.

“…That is just creepy, dude, at least make a noise or something!”

Kuroko frowned, rubbing at a teary eye with a fist. “That’s mean, Kagami-kun, this is how I’ve always-”. Then he jerked forward again, eyes squinted shut and faced tensed in pain, and continued to spasm so many times Kagami freaked out and worried he really would have a seizure. Doing the first thing that came to mind, Kagami reached out and pinched Kuroko’s tiny nose closed between his knuckles. He took a few seconds to realize that since Kuroko was already stifling, there wasn’t much point to that. But maybe the sudden pressure had done something, because after a few more jerks, Kuroko stopped.

“You done?” Kagami asked brusquely, not wanting to seem too worried.

Kuroko peered at him over his fingers with watery blue eyes. “That hurts, Kagami-kun.” He said, voice quiet and hoarse.

Kagami let go, and Kuroko sniffled and rubbed at his nose gently. The appendage was red from the pressure, and with Kuroko’s pale face and dark bags under his eyes, the boy looked well and truly ill.

“Yeah, well, learn to sneeze like a normal person, and I won’t have to do that again.” Kagami grumbled. “Get your stuff together, we’re leaving as soon as I get my clothes on.”

It was already getting dark, and not many people were out on the street. They went pretty slowly; just the weight of his bookbag seemed to be giving Kuroko trouble, and Kagami kept a wary eye on him as he trudged along, breathing heavily.

“You’re an idiot.” Kagami said bluntly.

Kuruko glanced back, running a hand against his forehead to wipe away sweat. “That’s insulting coming from you, Kagami-kun.”

“Hey”, Kagami bristled, “I know enough to stay home when I’m sick-”

“But not enough to stop jumping when the coach tells you to.” Kuroko interrupted.

Kagami scowled, because Kuroko was right, as usual. And it pissed him off that Kuroko was still speaking calmly and politely when he was clearly sick and hurting, and he wanted the shrimp to admit he had done something stupid for once; pushing himself to the point of exhaustion when he obviously felt horrible.

“Don’t pull crap like this, all right?” Kagami growled. “If we were near a match now, Coach really would have killed you. And we need you to win.”

“I need to be better to win.” Kuroko coughed briefly into a fist. “I have only a few weeks in which to improve. If I don’t move past my current abilities, I will never-” He coughed again, more harshly, drew a breath, and then snapped his head forward silently.

“Not this shit again.” Kagami crossed his arms, glaring at his teammate. “Just sneeze, Kuroko.”

“I am-” Jerk. “S-sneezing-” Jerk.

“[Like hell you are].” Kagami muttered in English. Fed up with the other boy’s stubbornness, Kagami acted unthinkingly again. Reaching out, he threaded his hands under Kuroko’s jacket and poked his fingers into the boy’s sides.

Kuroko gasped. “Kagami-kun, what are you-”. He flinched forward again, and Kagami dragged his nails along the other boy’s skin. Kuroko gasped a second time, and this time when he jerked forward, there was a small sound.

“That’s more like it.” Kagami said, and dug his fingers repeatedly into sensitive parts of Kuroko’s torso until he was squirming and breathless.

Ksh.” Kuroko sneezed. Kagami felt strangely vindicated, and Kuroko wasn’t stopping. “Ksh. Ksh. Ksh. Kshkshksh.” Kuroko tried his lift up his hands to cover the tiny, cat-like sneezes, but Kagami grabbed his wrists and held them apart. Kuroko stared at him with a teary, accusing gaze, but then snapped his eyes shut again with a fresh fit, red nose twitching. “KSH! Kshkshksh hiKSH! KshkshkshkshKSH hiKSH hihiKSSHH! Ksh! HiKSH! KSH!”

Kagami’s vindication only lasted until Kuroko passed out for the second time that day.

Kagami managed to hook an arm around his torso by instinct, but had no idea what to do after that. “Kuroko? Hey, Kuroko?” The smaller boy hung limply in his grasp, pale and sweating. Kagami hung on to him, at a loss for words, remembering that he didn’t know where Kuroko lived.

Maybe they were both idiots.

Kagami sighed, turned around, and with some tugging and pulling managed to hoist Kuroko up on his back. He prayed that no one from school saw him giving his teammate a piggyback ride. At least Kuroko was light; he’d probably carried heavier laundry loads. Grabbing both their bookbags in each hand, he hooked them under Kuroko’s legs and started off.

“You owe me.” He told his unconscious passenger.

Kuroko’s hot forehead pressed against the side of Kagami’s neck, the tip of his nose brushing lightly against his skin. “Ksh!

Kagami wondered if it was weird to feel proud about that.

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Awww! I am in love with that sneezing battle! How cute! I love how they were completely silent, and Kagami isn't above teasing him for it xD

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  • 1 month later...

Finshed Part Two! I was helped (and hindered) a lot by recent episodes, which caused much squealing and cooing. OH MY GOSH THE RECENT EPISODES. So...many...feels. But then I try to write sneezefic and all Kagami and Kuroko end up doing is snarking at each other and having Feelings. glare.gif (Oh wow I used my first emoticon!) I finally managed to bang them into fetish-y shape. There will possibly be a Part Three if I manage to keep them that way. Sorry for the wait.

“What are you lazing around for, Tetsu?” A head blocked the bright sunshine stabbing into Kuroko’s eyes, his teammate peering down at him.

Kuroko panted lightly against the heat. His body felt strangely heavy and sticky with sweat, and his muscles ached. The sunlight burned him, and made it difficult to see properly.

“You’re too weak, Tetsu. C’mon, get back to practice.” Fists dug into the sides of his skull in a painful noogie, starting up a deep throbbing.

“Aomine-kun, that hurts…”

“Get up, Tetsu.” Fingers dug into his temples.


“Get up.”

“I said-”






Kuroko blinked his eyes open, and was confused when he saw a ceiling over him.

“Oi! What the hell, Kuroko?!”

And his arm was outstretched. How strange. His head still hurt, though.

Looking around, Kuroko noticed Kagami kneeling next to him, hand clenched over his stomach and a grimace on his face.

“Ku-ro-koooo…” Kagami growled, grabbing Kuroko’s t-shirt and jerking him up a bit. “What part of me looks like a basketball?”

It took a minute for Kuroko to realize that he must have punched Kagami with an Ignite Pass. It took another minute to decide whether he felt guilty about that or not.

“My apologies. I was having a bad dream.”

Kagami snorted and let go of him, causing Kuroko to fall back to the floor. He winced. Even with the futon, the jolting wasn’t helping his headache.


Kuroko blinked again and looked around.

“Kagami-kun, where…?”

“My place.” Kagami was tearing open a package with his teeth, still looking grumpy. “Because some moron passed out in the middle of the street before he could tell me where he lived.”

“As I recall, some moron bullied me into passing out rather than leaving well enough alone.” Kuroko rubbed his nose again in remembered discomfort.

“Well, if some moron wasn’t such a freak, I wouldn’t have done that!” Kagami snapped back.

Kuroko opened his mouth to reply, but Kagami took the opportunity to shove something into it. “Swallow those; it’s the medicine Coach gave me.” Kagami tossed a bottle of water in Kuroko’s lap, and then sat back, crossing his arms and legs. “I woke you up so you could take it. Next time I’ll stand back and poke you with a stick.”

When Kuroko finished sipping at the water, Kagami offered to grab his cell phone so he could let his family know where he was.

“No.” Kuroko coughed lightly. “There’s no need to call anyone. I can head home in a bit.”

“Like hell.” Kagami stared at him, unimpressed. “You said no one could pick you up, so that means you’re staying here.”

“I can-”

“Either someone comes to get you, or you stay here. My apartment is in the opposite direction from yours, idiot, and it’s already evening. I already had to carry you here on my back like some fainting princess, and there’s no way in hell I’m walking you all that way back now. And you’re not going alone, because you’d die and then Coach would kill me and hide the body. It’s less trouble for me if you just stay.”

Kuroko stared at his knees. “I apologize for the intrusion. I didn’t wish to be a burden.”

Kagami grumbled a bit, uncrossing his arms so he could rub at the back of his head. “Well, whatever. Just eat.” He pulled a tray table over and set it in front of Kuroko. There was a bowl of soup, some juice, and a few crackers.

“I dunno what people usually have here when they’re sick.” Kagami said, rubbing at his head again. “I always got soup when I was sick, growing up in America, so…”

“Thank you, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko’s hand wasn’t very steady on the spoon, but he managed to get five spoonfuls into his mouth before the steam started to tickle his nose. The tip of the spoon touched his lips just as they trembled briefly, and Kuroko’s head snapped forward with a very tiny “k-!” sound. The dropped spoon clattered as it hit the tray.

Kagami smirked. “That was almost normal.”

Kuroko rubbed at his red little nose with a closed fist before cleaning up the spilled soup with a napkin. He picked up the spoon and drank two more mouthfuls before he sneezed (almost) soundlessly again: “k-huh!” The spoon landed in the bowl this time, and Kuroko blinked in surprise as a few drops of liquid splashed his face.

Kagami snorted, getting another napkin. He reached over and grabbed Kuroko’s chin, scrubbing at his face with his unmitigated strength while Kuroko squirmed and protested. It felt like he was losing skin cells along with the soup.

Kagami dropped the napkin, only to pick up the spoon and hold it to Kuroko’s lips.

Kuroko looked back at him, face blank.

“C’mon” Kagami jabbed the spoon at Kuroko’s mouth (it had suddenly become an impenetrable barrier). “If you want the soup in you and not on you, just deal with it.”

Blue eyes stared him down a moment longer, and then glanced to the side as Kuroko opened his mouth. Kagami fed him without incident or mockery, and they were halfway through the soup before Kagami noticed Kuroko’s gaze was watering a little, and his nose was twitching.

“If you need to sneeze, just sneeze.”

Kuroko sniffled lightly before closing his lips around the next spoonful. He swallowed while lifting a finger to press against the tip of his nose, one eye closed in irritation. “It won’t…come…”

Kagami shrugged and set the spoon on the tray. Reaching out a forefinger, he touched it firmly to Kuroko’s nose and rubbed it up and down.

“Ka- Kagami-kuhun-” Kuroko’s finger dropped slowly from his face as his eyes drooped, lips parting in a soft exhale as red nostrils quivered lightly under the finger stroking them, until blue eyes snapped shut and- “kksh!” Kagami pressed the backs of his fingers into Kuroko’s nose as the blue-haired boy sneezed breathily on them.

Kuroko blinked teary eyes open, pushing away his teammate’s hand so he could press a finger under his nose again. “Kagami-kun, you’ll get sick like that.” He scolded, his fever-flushed face darkening with embarrassment at sneezing on the other boy.

“Pfft, I never get sick.” Kagami scoffed, shoving a cracker in Kuroko’s mouth before the other could point out the other had already admitted to being ill before. “Like you could get anyone sick with those baby animal noises.”

Kuroko chewed and swallowed the cracker, glaring until he could speak again. “If Kagami-kun wasn’t bullying me, I wouldn’t have sneehezed on him at all.”

Kagami snorted. “Yeah, then you’d be trying to make your head explode.” He had caught the quick inhale and the small nose-twitch, and reached out to trail a finger down the bridge of Kuroko’s nose and rub a circle on the right nostril.

HiKSH!” The tip of Kuroko’s nose bumped against Kagami’s palm as he muffled a ticklish sneeze into it, caught off guard. He blinked his eyes open in surprise, and then shut them again as Kagami curled his fingers around Kuroko’s nose, tapping the trembling appendage lightly with the tips as he did so. “kshksh! Hi-hi-hiKSH! Hi…hiKSSHU!”

Kuroko opened his eyes again, sniffling as a tear rolled down his cheek. Kagami took his hand away and pressed a napkin to his nose with the other one, pinching the red nostrils together and cleaning it.

“Quit the freaky stifles.” Kagami shook the small nose in his grip lightly to accentuate his point. “I can tell they hurt, and you’ll break your neck or something. Do I look like I care that you have to sneeze like everybody else?”

Kuroko turned his head away when Kagami released his nose, blushing. “I…don’t really do it on purpose. It’s instinct by now to sneeze that way. It…is difficult to do it without holding back.”

Kagami raised a spiky eyebrow. “You’ve been doing it normally the last few times.”

The other boy touched a finger to his abused nose, looking slightly bothered. “Normally I just…sneeze, and that’s it; I don’t have time to think about it, or how I do it. But my nose has been itchy almost since I woke up, making me need to…” Kuroko trailed off, frowning as he moved his finger to rub gently under his nose. “Perhaps it’s just my cold that’s irritating me.”

“Yeah” Kagami said, looking down at the tray. “Or could be the cayenne pepper I put in the soup.”

Kuroko froze, turning to look at the red-haired boy. “…Huh?”

“Family recipe. It’s good for your sinuses.” Kagami pushed another spoonful of soup between Kuroko’s lips. “’Course, you’re pretty sick, so I added extra.”

Luckily for Kagami (and his stomach), Kuroko didn’t have the strength for another Ignite Pass, so with minimal wrestling Kuroko was force-fed the rest of the soup. He didn’t bother stifling his sneezes, feeling his idiot teammate deserved to deal with the consequences. Kagami, to his annoyance, never seemed to mind, catching Kuroko’s sneezes with a bare, calloused hand when his tired teammate dissolved into an itchy, kittenish fit; rubbing his nose with gentle fingers to coax out the stubborn sneezes that made Kuroko’s eyes water; cupping a soft tissue to his face so Kuroko could blow his nose.

Kuroko (mulishly, and only to himself) admitted that his head seemed clearer than it had before, as he coughed a few times at the last pepper-saturated mouthfuls of soup. Kagami handed him the last of the juice and patted his back while he drank it, clumsily and too hard. Kuroko considering complaining, but decided he was too tired to; his yawn turned into a frown when the warm hand left his back.

Kagami moved the tray away and pushed the drowsy boy back onto the mattress. “Don’t get any stupid ideas about trying to be quiet during the night, or I’ll put the pepper canister in the futon with you.”

Kuroko wrinkled his nose and sneezed a pointed little “ksh” in Kagami’s direction.

Kagami grinned and tucked the covers around him.

When Kuroko dreamed again, his body still felt hot and painful, but the light from the sun was warm and reassuring.

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I love your writing so, so much. Dumb babies sneezing on each other is one of my favorite things ever and you made Kagami really cute and sensitive about it and frick. You're so cool. XD

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*twirls around* Meiiiiiii~!

This is SO CUTE! Such lovely writing, and so true to character <3

I like this show, and it's wonderful to see some fiction for it!

“Like you could get anyone sick with those baby animal noises.”

First of all, LOLOLOLOL~

And second of all,

Kagami snorted. “Yeah, then you’d be trying to make your head explode.” He had caught the quick inhale and the small nose-twitch, and reached out to trail a finger down the bridge of Kuroko’s nose and rub a circle on the right nostril.

“HiKSH!” The tip of Kuroko’s nose bumped against Kagami’s palm as he muffled a ticklish sneeze into it, caught off guard. He blinked his eyes open in surprise, and then shut them again as Kagami curled his fingers around Kuroko’s nose, tapping the trembling appendage lightly with the tips as he did so. “kshksh! Hi-hi-hiKSH! Hi…hiKSSHU!”

Sexyyyyyy~ <3 <3 <3 I love inducing so much ^o^~

Third of all, like I said before, you handle these characters with such finesse! Like LeapYear was saying, the way Kagami handles the sneezing-in-hand thing is precious <3. And the banter is fantastic~ Looking forward to more! ^_^

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  • 1 month later...

Oh wow...*dreamy sigh* Kuroko's sneezes are so cute!! Like an adorable kitten... What I'd give to hear them on the actual show...

This is my absolute favorite line ever>> "Kagami, to his annoyance, never seemed to mind, catching Kuroko’s sneezes with a bare, calloused hand when his tired teammate dissolved into an itchy, kittenish fit; rubbing his nose with gentle fingers to coax out the stubborn sneezes that made Kuroko’s eyes water; cupping a soft tissue to his face so Kuroko could blow his nose."

Kagami, I envy the position you're in so, so very much! mf_w00t1.gifmf_w00t2.gif

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Ahh! I love Kuroko so much! And he's just soooo cuuuute when he's sick (you know, even cuter than usual).

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  • 2 months later...

OMG, I LOVE this show, I didn't realise someone had written fiction on it! And such amazing fiction too!!! This would make a PERFECT episode, you have them so beautifully in character! I love how awkwardly-caring Kagami is and how they're sniping at each other and Riko and just everything xD And the sneezing-in-hand thing is amazing <3

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fingers still crossed that Kagami will catch his cold

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  • 1 month later...


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