More (Criminal Minds- Reid)

[darkness-is-the-light]

This story is based off of one of my drabbles in my drabble thread titled "More" (Name of drabble). You can count this story as a holiday present if you want. I am very happy about this story because i feel like I did a good job with this, I don't know if you'll feel that way too but I tried. Also this story is placed after Reid was kidnapped in season two, so this kind of deals with his drug addiction and him being kind of irritable, just for a heads up. So here's the beginning of the story...

(Starts here) Hotch was getting ready to leave the office for the night when he suddenly heard yelling, the voice shrieking in panic. He pulled his gun out and slowly walked out of his office and into view of the bullpen to find someone still there. One of his agents was asleep at their desk and in the middle of a full-ledge nightmare... Reid. Hotch put his gun away and walked down the stairs into the bullpen. He gently shook Reid while calling his name and Spencer jerked awake. Reid's panic slowly diminished as Hotch's face came into focus.

"What's going on?" Reid asked while running his hands through his hair.

"You were having a nightmare." Hotch clarified.

"I'm fine, I- Huh'PSH'iew! Huh'PSH'iew!!" Reid sneezed wetly.

"Bless you. Are you feeling alright, Reid?"

"I'm f- Huh'PSH'iew!!" Spencer sneezed so suddenly that he could only direct the sneeze towards the floor. "Sorry," he apologized sheepishly and rubbed his nose.

"Bless you again. How are you doing, Reid?"

"I'm fine, it was only a nightmare. You know it's not uncommon for someone to have nightmares." Reid explained.

"It seems like it's more than a normal once-in-a-while nightmare."

"It's not." Spencer snapped.

"I'm sorry but it just doesn't seem like you to fall asleep at your desk." Hotch defended himself.

"I was typing up my report and I accidentally fell asleep. It can happen, Hotch."

Hotch was stunned at the way his youngest agent was talking to him. Reid was always the overly kind one of the team and it would take a lot to make him angry. An attitude like this was very rare for the young doctor and Hotch wasn't prepared for it. Hotch settled to placing a hand on Reid's shoulder and apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Reid, I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe you should go home, you can finish your report tomorrow, it's not due until Thursday." Hotch suggested.

"No, I can finish it tonight. I don't need you to tell me what to do." Reid objected.

"Okay, okay. I'll leave you so you can finish it." Hotch said, "I'll be in my office if you need me." Then Hotch walked back upstairs into his office. He sat thinking hard, he just couldn't wrap his head around why Reid was being so irritable. Meanwhile, Reid put his head down on his desk and sighed deeply while slightly tugging on his hair. He quickly finished typing up his report and shut his computer down, Reid sat for a few moments in silence then put his work bag over his shoulder and walked out or the building. When he got back to his apartment he lied down on his bed, not even bothering to change out of his work clothes or pull the covers back. Reid only wished that he could get a few hours of sleep without having another nightmare.

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Spencer jerked awake from another terrifying nightmare sweating. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead and sweat dripped down the back of his neck. Reid looked at the digital clock on his nightstand to find that the time was 5:00, just about the time he had to go to work. He reluctantly dragged himself off of his bed which was his only way to get rid of the real world for a while. Reid walked into his bathroom and wet a washcloth to wipe the sweat off his forehead and neck. He changed his clothes and got in his car. Spencer's body trembled with a shiver so he put the heat on to warm himself up. This sudden heat caused a strong tickle to form in his sinuses.

"Huh'PSH'iew!! Huh'PSH'iew!!" Two harsh sneezes tore through him that left him sniffling helplessly.

Hotch had only hoped that Reid would take a day off to collect himself. But as known, Reid didn't, he would convince himself he was fine until he came extremely close to having a nervous breakdown. Hotch held his breath when he saw Reid walk into the bullpen. His youngest agent was as pale as a sheet of paper and had dark circles under his eyes. Hotch also noted that he looked shaken up, like something was bothering him.

"Good morning, Reid," Hotch said politely.

"Morning," Reid mumbled back.

"Hi- are you okay, Spence?" JJ asked, concern etched on her face.

"Yeah, I'm just tired,"

"Okay," JJ bit her lip to stop herself from saying anymore more.

"Reid, can you come with me for a second?" Hotch asked.

Spencer nodded tiredly and followed his boss up the stairs sluggishly. Hotch closed the door of his office for some privacy and offered Reid a seat.

"Reid, please be honest with me, how are you feeling?'

"i'm just tired, I feel fine otherwise."

"Did you have another nightmare?" Hotch asked.

Reid sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Yes," he whispered.

"What are they about? If you don't mind me asking."

"They're always about what happened with Tobias. I-I always have these flashbacks in my dreams that make me think that I could've be left to die for good. If Tobias didn't revive me I might have been gone forever. Do you know how that feels? To have to live with the what ifs." Spencer swallowed.

"I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the greatest. I know you feel scared, but you can't keep reliving the past because it will eventually eat you alive."

"But you don't know how it feels!" Reid snapped angrily, "you've never been in the same situation. How would you feel if you were relying on one person to either save your life or let you die?" Reid started getting fidgety.

"Reid, calm down. Yes, you're right, I don't know how it feels but you'll eventually become stronger and this won't bother you anymore." Hotch assured.

Reid took a shuddering breath in and Hotch thought that he would start crying but realized that he only had to sneeze.

"Huh'PSH'iew! HUH'PSH'iew!!" Spencer sneezed two forceful sneezes that bent him at the waist into his cupped hands.

"Bless you," Hotch plucked a couple tissues from the box on his desk and handed them to Reid who blew his nose wetly into them.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"Is there anything else that's bothering you?"

Reid nodded his head slowly and confessed, "I've been struggling with an addiction."

"To what?"

"I've been injecting myself with Dilaudid." Reid looked down while biting his lip anticipating to get yelled at by his unit chief.

"Why, Spencer?" Hotch asked as softly as he could.

"Tobias injected me with it and I would get flashbacks from my childhood."

"Oh, Reid, why are you doing this to yourself? You have friends that love you for who you are. And don't forget that you help save so many lives. People have hope because of what we do, don't forget that. Tobias was sick, it had nothing to do with you, please don't put this on yourself." Hotch told Spencer.

"I try so hard to forget it but I can't," Reid paused as tears started cascading down his face. "I'm afraid that I won't ever be able to control these feelings." Spencer whispered as he put his head in his hands, his body trembled as he tried to hold back a breakdown. Hotch got up and sat down next to Reid. He started to slowly rub the young man's back.

"It's okay, Reid. You're allowed to cry."

At first a little whimper came out then a restrained sob. As time went on, more and more sobs came out. Hotch felt his heart break watching his youngest agent break down in front of him. The pain got to be too much that Hotch pulled Reid into a hug and just let him cry his heart out for as long as he needed to. About a half-an-hour later Reid finally started calming down. All of the crying produced a lot of mucus in Reid's nose. Spencer sniffled thickly and pulled four tissues from the box and started to thoroughly blow his nose. When he finished a tickle flared up in his sinuses.

"Huh'PSH'iew!! Huh'PSH'iew!!!" Reid sneezed quickly into his lap.

"Bless you," Hotch said.

"Thanks," Reid replied sheepishly.

"Reid, I want you to go home, I'll come with you, I want to make sure you're going to be alright." Hotch gently ordered.

"Don't you need to stay here?"

"The team has handled alright, I think they can handle without me for a day or two."

"Okay," Reid agreed.

TBC?? I'm sorry for not a lot of sneezing, i kind of wanted to get the plot down. I hope you liked it!

[J-Squared]

I loved it!!!!!!! You're work never disappoints.

[ichixshiro14]

Awww poor Reid! Great characterization!

[darkness-is-the-light]

I think I'm going to continue this story, but not for a couple days since it's the holidays.

[AngelEyes]

Awww. I love Reid. He's my favorite. So cute and helpless and trying to be all tough all the time. You got it. Would love more!