A Very Adventure Club Christmas (f & m)

[Blah!?]

Well, well, well, what have we here? I suppose it's a good a time as any to post my latest Christmas-themed story.

This one's getting its own thread because while it does still take place within the Adventure Club continuity, this story is meant to be a standalone thing. There aren't any reader choices involved here, so it wouldn't feel right putting it in the series thread. Additionally, even though I'm posting it first, this takes place chronologically after Club Wars.

And once again, this story is kind of extremely insanely long. I guess that's sort of becoming my thing, but whatever. I like it that way. Considering that it is so long, I won't waste any more of your time...

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Two words: Mall Santa.

That ought to put things in perspective for you.

The Adventure Club and I were a bit short on dough this holiday season, so we figured we might as well find the stupidest job possible and ruin it in our usual spectacular fashion. Well, all of us except David. We asked him to come along with us to share the paycheck and pain, but he said he was busy for like eight days or something. Besides, we didn't really want to make him suffer as much as we knew we were going to. Furthermore, none of us actually got to be Santa anyway. We were to be his lowly elves, and I could already tell we were going to regret everything the instant our shift began.

Another group was currently working the floor, so the four of us decided to hit up our usual mall hangout while we waited. Tsunday Drive was an interesting place. It was a cute little 1950s-style café and ice cream parlor, complete with waitresses on roller-skates. That said, it was just niche enough that the Adventure Club and I were basically the only regular customers. On the plus side, that meant the staff got to know us well pretty quickly. They love us.

"Hurry up and pick something already!" Jade, the café's lone waitress chided as she rolled past us. Normally there were one or two others working with her, but it seemed she was the only one available on this fateful day. As such, her already short temper had been worn down to almost nothing. At the very least, it made the tsundere experience a little more authentic.

"Just give us a minute, would you?" Andy shouted back, nearly standing up from his chair. You're supposed to just take your lumps at a place like this, but Andy loved to sass them back. It never got us anywhere, but he always seemed to enjoy it. Upon hearing his words, Jade immediately skated back over to our table, stopping next to Andy with her hands on her hips.

"I already gave you a minute. What's the holdup?" she grumbled, cocking her hips to one side. This time, we all stared at her without so much as a peep. That really drove her crazy. I could see her frown steadily growing more intense with each passing second, and after a moment I was surprised there wasn't any steam coming out of her ears.

"Oh, who needs you guys anyway!?" Jade stammered, throwing her arms down at her sides. "Don't bug me again until you know what you want to order!" She pouted at us for a second, but before she could skate off again, her eyes narrowed and she began to wave a hand frantically in front of her face.

"Hehh... Ehhh... Eh-CHU!"

Jade let out a high-pitched squeak of a sneeze, folding the crook of her arm around her nose. The force of it even made her roll backward a few inches on her skates. I debated blessing her, but before I could, Andy opened his big, stupid mouth again.

"You're not getting sick, are you?" he asked with a tone of false disinterest. "I will not abide you sneezing on our food."

"I am not sick!" Jade stammered, thrusting her arms downward again. "I have allergies! Haven't you seen all those wreaths and Christmas trees all over the place? He-CHU!"

"Bless you," I interjected before Andy could say anything more. Jade groaned, starting to rub her nose, but it appeared I still had her attention. However, just as we were about to place our orders, another group of four made their way into the café. They looked like the absolute weariest high school students I'd ever seen in my entire life, even worse than us after forcing ourselves to be genuinely productive.

"You four must be the next victims," one of them said, making his way over to us. As usual, we were the only people in the whole café, leaving no question that we were the next group of elves.

"You are correct," I responded, but before I could say anything else, I was cut off by a red and green costume being dumped in my lap.

"Here you go," the four others said in unison as they passed their uniforms on to us. "One size fits all."

As the four previous elves faded into the background, I started to become aware of how emotionally dead they were. This hardly seemed like it would be the worst job in the world, but these guys were positively broken. For the sake of simplicity, I pulled my elf costume on over my regular clothes, and then I made my way over to the other group to make sure they'd be alright.

"Are you guys going to be okay?" I asked, fumbling with my pointy green elf hat. "Did something happen?"

"Pam," all four of them answered simultaneously, their blank eyes staring into the distance.

"What?" I reiterated, not really understanding.

"Pam happened," they responded again, not even blinking.

"Who or what is a Pam?" Charlie asked from behind me, eyeing her elf costume with disapproval.

"Isn't it that non-stick spray you put on baking trays?" Andy answered, indicating he'd either missed half the conversation or he was just being his usual self.

"Not that kind of Pam, genius," Jade said from the far side of the room. She put her hands on her hips and prepared to skate over to us, but another sneeze stopped her before she could gain any ground.

"Heeehhh... Eh-CHU!"

"Bless you," I said again, stepping over to Jade and finally putting my stupid elf hat on. "Look, I think these guys have had a pretty rough day. Think you could go easy on them?"

"Um, hello?" Jade hollered irritably, waving one hand at me. "This is a tsundere café, I'm not supposed to be nice."

"Yes, quite," Andy interjected, stepping up behind me with his costume all in place. I hadn't even noticed him change into it. Frightening. "You've given us the tsuntsun plenty, so why not give them the deredere?"

"It's not in the job description," Jade pouted, glaring up at Andy. He held up his hands defensively, and then he grabbed Jade's shoulders and spun her around to face the swinging doors that led into the kitchen.

"Whoa! Stop!" she stammered, but Andy wouldn't have any of it.

"Then I think your time would best be spent elsewhere."

Before Jade could protest further, Andy gently shoved her toward the kitchen doors. Despite the fact that Jade skated around this very room for a living, this seemed to put her completely off balance. She screamed in terror, frantically flapping her arms up and down as she rolled toward the doors. Very, very slowly. After a full thirty seconds of sluggishly rolling across the floor, Jade's flailing body gently nudged one of the sliding doors open and she disappeared into the kitchen.

"What the hell just happened?" I wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow at the door as it flapped on its hinges. Andy smiled and slapped me on the back of the shoulder as if that provided some sort of answer. Before I could berate the idiot for his behavior, Tracy emerged from the ladies's room wearing her elf costume. She and Charlie must have slipped in there to change, I guess I just hadn't noticed it. What I did notice, however, was the one difference between the girls' costumes and the ones worn by Andy and I. While the two of us got one size fits all pants, the Tracy and Charlie apparently had one size fits all skirts. Miniskirts to be precise.

"Eh, could be worse," Andy said, looking Tracy up and down with a hand on his chin. Tracy and I stared back at him, her disinterested expression even more impressively disinterested than my own.

"Hey, Tracy," Andy spoke up again, somehow managing to interrupt himself. "What's the difference between your dad and Santa Claus?"

Tracy bit one side of her lower lip, making her appear even more bored than she already looked. Somehow Andy took this as a cue to proceed.

"Santa stopped after only three hos."

Without so much as blinking, Tracy just walked away. Andy shrugged, and then he threw up his hands as if someone owed him applause.

"Well, I thought it was funny."

"Yes, I know you did," I responded, doing my best to keep up my own bored look. Andy either didn't realize what I meant or he simply didn't care. He shamelessly scratched his ass and then sat down on the nearest bar stool as we waited for our fourth member.

"You still alive in there, Charlie?" I asked, noticing a few minutes had passed since Tracy got out of the bathroom.

"This costume sucks!" Charlie's deep voice rang out, muffled by the walls. "I don't think it fits."

"One size fits all," the four previous elves repeated in unison. The monotone really made it so much creepier. I watched them for a second just to make sure they weren't about to commit ritual suicide, and then I turned back to the bathroom.

"I'm sure it's fine," I said, folding my arms over my chest. "Take your time, but we only have a few more minutes until we're supposed to go out there."

"Whatever, fine!" Charlie snapped, and then I could hear her impatiently stomping out of the restroom. When she stepped back into the Tsunday Drive dining room, I nearly had to put a hand under my jaw to keep it from dropping. I swear I heard Andy's hit the floor.

"I told you it doesn't fit," Charlie grumbled, tugging the back of her miniskirt down. I didn't dare look her in the face, lest I catch her eye, but I could have sworn she was blushing.

"Nah, fits just fine," Andy said, rocking back and forth on his feet. Under normal circumstances he probably would have faced some sort of physical abuse at Charlie's hand, but this time she was just too embarrassed to make a move. Grabbing the back of her skirt with both hands, Charlie yanked it down forcefully. The tiny garment barely budged.

"This sucks!" Charlie moaned, trying to pull the skirt down once more. "Everyone can see my butt!"

It was true, six-foot-tall Charlie was a bit too big for these trashy costumes. Tracy's seemed to fit just fine, but she was nearly a full head shorter. I tried in vain to think of something comforting to say, and of course Andy managed to get a word in first.

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving a hand dismissively, "everyone already knows you have a big butt."

That was all it took to get Charlie moving again. She stormed out of the café, but not before shoving her way past Andy and slamming him into the countertop. I stood next to him and watched in amusement as he struggled back to his feet.

"You know, I think this is going to be really good."

Luckily, Tsunday Drive wasn't located too far from the center of the mall, where the whole Santa thing was set up. Tracy and I made our way over in relatively calm silence, but Andy decided to prance ahead for reasons known only to him, and Charlie lagged behind a bit as she made a great effort not to lift her legs too high. After turning a corner, the elaborate winter wonderland came into view. There was Santa, sitting on his epic Santa throne, and there appeared to be one other person in an elf costume. It was mostly identical to the uniforms Tracy and Charlie were wearing, though her skirt was slightly less revealing and she wore a regular Santa hat in place of our dumb, pointy elf hats.

"Well hey there, y'all!" our fellow elf greeted, waving at us enthusiastically. "My name's Pam, and I'm your manager."

"Hi Pa-" I tried to say, but she immediately cut me off to ask us a question.

"Now, which of you is the strongest?"

It was a bit of an odd question, but we answered nonetheless. Andy pointed at himself, but Tracy and I pointed at Charlie, who simply shrugged in vague agreement.

"Great!" Pam exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "What's your name?"

"Charlie," our tall friend answered, sounding more than a little disinterested.

"Alright, Charlize. Since you're the strongest, your job's going to be standing right here, next to Santa, and helping the kids get up on his lap," Pam explained, leading Charlie over to the massive throne in the center of our little area.

"Actually, it's just Charlie," she said, holding up a hand to get Pam's attention. Pam smiled and nodded.

"That's what I said," she lied, grinning eerily wide. Charlie made a displeased face, but she didn't respond. I hadn't paid much attention to him before, but I noticed our faithful mall Santa smile warmly at Charlie and give her a little wave. She sheepishly waved back, and I could have sworn she was blushing again.

"Okay, now which of you is..." Pam began to ask us another question, but she suddenly stopped in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed and her chest began to rise and fall rapidly. After taking a huge, shrill breath through her mouth, Pam pinched the bridge of her nose and bent forward sharply.

"Eghhhh'HEEEW!!!"

The four of us stared at the strange woman for a second, puzzled by the odd noise she made. Still holding the bridge of her nose, Pam straightened up after a second and then waved a hand in front of her face, letting out a shuddery breath.

"Sorry, I sneezed," she apologized, wiping the underside of her nose with the side of her wrist.

"That was a sneeze?" Andy blurted, but Pam didn't seem to be bothered by his rudeness.

"I think I'm catching a cold," Pam elaborated, but despite her apparent illness she looked as happy as ever. Clasping her hands behind her back, she beamed at the remaining three of us and asked her question again.

"As I was saying, which of you is the least likely to do something really stupid?"

Odd question. No stranger than anything else she'd done so far, so we just went with it. Andy once again pointed at himself. I pointed at Tracy, but she and Charlie both pointed at me. After looking over her shoulder to see who Charlie was gesturing to, Pam clapped her hands together again and approached me.

"Alright, what's your name?" she asked, leading me away to stand across from the Santa throne. Before I could even speculate as to the nature of my job, I found an archaic Polaroid camera being shoved into my hands.

"After Santa asks each kid what they want for Christmas, all you have to do is take a picture of them," Pam explained, rubbing her nose again. "Then, just give it to them or their parents, whichever's quicker."

"That's all?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. If this was all we were going to have to do, I really had no idea how the previous group of elves wound up so defeated. Pam nodded, and then she headed over to a podium at the edge of our little Santa Land, picking up a microphone to make an announcement.

"Hey y'all! We're back from our break, and Santa's ready to see you again!"

People immediately began to line up at the gate, though all four of us were aware that neither Andy nor Tracy had been given jobs yet. They wandered up to Pam just as she was about to start letting people in.

"What are we supposed to do?" Andy asked, gesturing to Tracy and himself.

"Stay out of the way," Pam said in her usual cheerful voice. Her beaming smile suddenly seemed that much less sincere.

"So, can we just leave?" Andy continued, scratching the back of his head. Pam's smile widened, looking even more malicious than before.

"Not if you want to get paid."

"But we're not even doing anything."

Pam's smile immediately disappeared. She put her hands on her hips and leaned toward Andy and Tracy, her face mere inches away from theirs.

"Listen up! I have a reputation to maintain! Now, you either do what I tell you, or you're fired!"

Andy scowled, taking a step back. Tracy's eyes went wide behind her glasses, but I could tell it was more due to surprise than fear. After frowning deeply for a second, Pam stood up straight and immediately put her smile back on. Not even Andy wanted to rock the boat, so he scowled silently as Pam returned to the gate and started to let people in.

"A reputation as a mall Santa manager?" Andy muttered to himself. "Real impressive. Your parents must be so proud." Tracy shook her head, and the two of them wandered off to contemplate "staying out of the way."

The first kid in line was a little boy with his dad. As soon as Pam let them through, the kid broke away from his parent and immediately charged up to Santa, leaping into the man's lap without any help from Charlie.

"Oh! Ho ho!" Santa laughed as the kid landed on him. "Santa's not as young as he used to be."

"Sorry," the kid said, staring intently up at the bearded man. "I'm just excited."

"I'm sure you are," Santa laughed, patting the boy on the back. "Now, what would you like for Christmas?"

"I want a football!" the kid blurted as if the previous conversation hadn't even happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Andy mouth "Football!? Who actually asks for a football?" Beside him, Tracy shook her head and then turned away to continue wandering around our little Winter Wonderland. After watching them for a second, I turned back to the Santa throne and quickly snapped a picture before the kid could get away. As soon as the camera released the film, I grabbed the white strip at the bottom, shook it out a few times, and then handed it to the kid's dad.

The next few kids came and went without incident. Most of the time, Charlie didn't even have to help them up since they were more than capable of flying into Santa's lap to demand various gifts. I got really good at switching out the film in the camera, not wanting to draw Pam's ire from taking too long. Meanwhile, Andy and Tracy continued to meander around in the background, still having nothing better to do. Before long, I had the picture taking down to a science, and that let me pay more attention to the other randomness going on around us. Most people who weren't actually getting in line to see Santa were giving us a wide berth, but I did notice one or two characters who were giving us an awful lot of attention. And when I say characters, I mean characters.

There was at least one person, maybe two, watching us from the corners of the mall whenever they thought we weren't looking. Assuming there were two of them, they were both fairly tall and skinny, wearing dark-green three-piece suits with red neckties. To top it all off, they were wearing pitch-black aviator sunglasses. Even though I couldn't see their eyes, I could tell they were staring straight at me whenever I noticed them. They never seemed to do anything; they were just watching us from a distance. Eventually I decided to take a picture of one of them, but I heard Pam approaching from behind just as I raised the camera.

"Eghhhh'HEEEEW!!!"

Luckily, Pam sneezed before she could notice I wasn't paying attention to the Santa throne, and I took the opportunity to pretend I had been. She came up next to me and watched intently as I photographed the next kid. Even though she didn't say anything, I could tell she wasn't happy. After I handed off the Polaroid picture to the kid's parents, Pam clapped me on the shoulder before leaving to oversee something else. Thankfully, there was a bit of a lull in the action, so I took a moment to pull the others aside.

"Have you noticed anything strange?" I quietly asked Andy, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Pam wasn't watching. I didn't dare talk to more than one of them at a time, otherwise our manager would definitely notice something was up.

"You mean like how Santa kinda sounds like the Sultan from Aladdin?" Andy responded, checking over my shoulder the second I finished doing the same.

"You know, he kind of does," I said before realizing I was getting sidetracked. "I mean, more like... Actually, never mind." I stopped, figuring Andy hadn't noticed anything at all. Tracy was probably a more promising choice. I shoved off from Andy and subtly called Tracy over to me.

"Okay, have you noticed anything weird?"

Tracy thought for a moment, and then she held up a finger as something came to her. Then, she stood stiff at attention and pretended to tighten a necktie, silently raising an eyebrow to ask if she had the right idea. I nodded, and she briefly nodded back, and then she subtly flicked her eyes to one side. Following Tracy's direction, I saw one of the suited-up observers watching us again, but after a crowd of people passed between us, he and/or she was gone again.

"What do you make of it?" I asked, looking back at Tracy. She shrugged, but I could tell it was more of an "I have no idea" shrug than an "I don't care" shrug. That's about where I was on the subject as well. Honestly, after all the weird shit I'd seen, I probably wouldn't even notice a guy wearing a suit and sunglasses in a mall if he was just passing by. It was the fact that they were watching us that had my attention.

Pam was still about, so I didn't want to spend too much time hanging around with any one other person. There wasn't any way I could get close to Charlie while kids were still coming; she had to stay by the throne and I had to stand across from it. Then, the tide of children and their parents simply ground to a halt. I hoped that Pam would be off somewhere else, and by some miracle she actually was. I double checked, and even triple checked over my shoulder every two seconds just to make sure she was really gone. The gods were smiling on us, she was gone.

"Hey, Charlie," I whispered, getting her attention. She quadruple checked for Pam over her own shoulder before coming over to talk to me.

"I've been seeing some weird stuff going on," I explained, glancing around once again. "Have you noticed anything?"

"You mean like how Santa kinda sounds like the Sultan from Aladdin?"

Okay, I gotta pause for this one. I'm utterly amazed that she and Andy managed to think of the same thing. That was really something. Anyway, that wasn't at all what I'd been looking for. I suppose only Tracy noticed, and she was about as clueless as I was. Before I could explain what I'd seen, a familiar face suddenly appeared at the gate.

"Hey guys!" Miss Quinn greeted, waving to us with one hand. Her other hand was holding on to someone, a little girl who looked remarkably similar to the teacher. I could only assume it was her daughter, but I didn't pay her much attention before turning back to Miss Quinn. Now, I'd never really been much of a "hots for teacher" kind of guy, but I have to be honest, Miss Quinn looked really cute. Her hair was still up in a bun and she wore the same big, nerdy glasses as usual, but she had a very cozy-looking winter outfit. She was wearing a black wool peacoat and a very fluffy gray scarf.

"Hey Miss Quinn," the four of us responded, waving back. I glanced around to make sure Pam was still gone, and luckily there appeared to be no sign of her. Miss Quinn smiled, but her eyes suddenly began to flutter and she started to scramble around in her pockets.

"Hhaahhh... Aaaahhhhh... CHUUH!"

Miss Quinn whipped a green and red handkerchief out of her pocket and clamped it over her nose at the last second before sneezing into it. Letting out a weary sigh, she began to wipe at her nostrils for a few seconds before lowering the cloth square and holding it weakly in one hand.

"Gesundheit," Charlie said, remaining at her post by the Santa throne.

"Thanks," Miss Quinn groaned, reaching her handkerchief back up to wipe her nose one more time.

"Are you alright?" I asked, taking a few steps toward her. The weird guys in the suits weren't really on my mind anymore.

"Oh, you know me," Miss Quinn chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. "Just allergies. Anyway, I don't think you guys have met my daughter yet, have you?" The teacher reached her hand forward, pulling the child out in front of her. She tried to shy away from me and hide behind Miss Quinn's legs, eventually she gave up and began to stare at me.

"Hey there," I said, giving a little wave. "My name's Toby."

"Say hi, honey," Miss Quinn instructed, smiling down at her daughter.

"Hi," the little girl said in a tiny voice.

"Hey there, Mini-Quinn!" Andy called from the other side of the throne. "You here to see Santa?"

God dammit, Andy. Somehow I could already tell "Mini-Quinn" was going to stick as a nickname. At least she had the right idea about Andy. Taking a step back, the little girl again tried to hide behind her mother, but Miss Quinn quickly pulled her back out.

"Yep, that's what we're here for," Miss Quinn answered, taking a step through the gate. "I'm surprised there's no line."

"Oh, you just missed it," I said, taking my place across from the throne again. Somehow Pam was still absent, and that was probably a big part of why Miss Quinn's visit didn't just feel like another piece on the assembly line. The teacher tried to pick her daughter up to place her on Santa's lap, but Mini-Quinn wouldn't have any of it. She darted away from her mother's hands and managed to climb up herself, sitting pleasantly on top of the kindly man.

"Hi Santa," Mini-Quinn said, suddenly sounding much less shy. Santa gave a hearty "ho ho ho," and patted the girl on the back.

"Hello there, young lady," the big man said, briefly glancing up at Miss Quinn. The teacher gave a warm smile, waving at her daughter sheepishly, and then Santa returned his attention to the girl on his lap.

"Have you been a good girl?"

Mini-Quinn nodded, and I could hear her mother giggle softly as she stood next to me. Santa laughed again and gave the little girl another pat on the back.

"Wonderful! So, what would you like for Christmas this year?"

"Well," Mini-Quinn began, quickly glancing at her mother before continuing. "My mommy's allergic to everything..."

"Oh ho ho?" Santa laughed once more, "is that so?"

"She's hardly exaggerating," Miss Quinn said with a giggle, "she and my fiancé usually call me 'stuffy-head.'"

"She's even allergic to Christmas trees," Mini-Quinn continued, "so I think that's what I want. I wish my mommy would stop being allergic to trees, if only on Christmas."

"Awww!" Miss Quinn cooed, barely able to contain herself. She looked like she was about to erupt in some sort of strange cute-splosion. Then, her goofy smile quickly became a frown and she stopped to blow her nose into her handkerchief. After sniffling into the cloth for a second, Miss Quinn wiped her nose and smiled back up at her daughter.

"That's so sweet, honey!"

"I'm not doing this for you," Mini-Quinn suddenly said, sounding so much less cute and innocent than before that I wasn't even sure if she was still the same person. "You always sneeze all over everything when we open presents."

Miss Quinn's smile immediately disappeared, replaced by an impatient frown. She put her hands on her hips and started to tap one foot. Finally, she raised an eyebrow and scowled at her daughter.

"Thanks, honey. That's really great of you," Miss Quinn droned, reaching a finger up to her face to rub back and forth under her nose. Mini-Quinn smiled innocently, and I figured this was as good a moment as any to take a picture. I quickly snapped one, pulled out the photograph and handed it to the teacher. She snatched it from me without a word, still clearly annoyed.

"Hey, uh, I hate to be a bother, but you might want to get going before our manager gets back," I said, taking yet another nervous glance around for Pam. "She'll probably freak out if she sees us fraternizing with you."

"Mh," Miss Quinn grunted, her face still blankly irritated. She walked up to the Santa throne, and surprisingly her daughter quickly leapt down from the big man's lap to give her mother a hug. The teacher stared down at the little girl for a second, still giving her an annoyed stare, but before long her resolve broke and she gave her daughter a big hug back.

"Alright, I guess we'll get out of your hair," Miss Quinn said, taking her daughter by the hand. We waved goodbye as they left our little Santa area, and it wasn't long before they descended into what I could only assume was typical mother-daughter banter.

"Hey, let's grab some lunch."

"Yeah! Something spicy!"

"Mommy's allergic to pepper, remember?"

"Hmph!"

I smiled like a moron for a few seconds as I watched the two of them leave. Eventually I got a hold of myself again and I turned around to check if anyone else had come to the gate. I nearly screamed when I saw Pam standing right behind me, giving me one of her crazed, unflinching smiles.

"Uh, hey there, Pam," I said weakly, fearing for my life. I saw an evil twinkle in Pam's eye, but she took no action against me.

"How about we get some lunch too?" she said, putting her hands on her hips and glancing around at the rest of the club. "No one's lined up right now, so this seems like as good a time as any." We all silently nodded in agreement, and then Pam suddenly snatched the camera out of my hands. Her insane smile never faltered, but that did little to keep me from feeling completely terrified of her. Eventually she backed off and headed to the food court, and I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"So, where do you guys want to eat?" I asked, glancing around at the others. I noticed Santa had fallen asleep on his throne, and as pleasant as he seemed I didn't want to disturb him.

"Well, I'm going back to Tsunday Drive," Andy announced, removing his elf hat. Charlie immediately shook her head and crossed her arms.

"No way, I'm not going back to that place. Why do you even like it so much?"

"I don't know," Andy answered, shrugging his shoulders. "It's kind of fun, I guess. I bet you could get a job there, too. You're already perfectly cut out for it."

"Shut your face," Charlie commanded, pushing past Andy and I. "Come on, Tracy." Tracy shrugged at me as she passed, and then Andy and I headed back to the café. Jade was still the only waitress, and as usual we were the only customers.

"Oh great, you again," she grumbled to Andy as she rolled over to our table to give us some menus. "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"

"Not until 2:00," Andy replied, flipping his menu open. Jade rolled her eyes and groaned, skating back into the kitchen so she could ignore us more effectively. I perused my menu for a moment, but I wasn't even that hungry. I just couldn't stop thinking about how crazy Pam was getting. I mean, she wasn’t outright psycho yet, but her happy exterior was rapidly deteriorating. Whatever we'd find underneath it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Mind if we join you?"

I looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice to see two strangely-clothed people standing right next to our table. I didn't recognize the voice at all, but I immediately knew who they were. The green suits, red ties and aviator sunglasses; the same people who'd been staring at us all day. I suppose now I knew there were two of them, and one of them appeared to be a woman, but their clothes made them look so similar to each other that I couldn't quite tell. In fact, they looked so absurd that I wasn't really even intimidated by them.

"Is this what you meant when you asked me if I'd seen anything weird?" Andy asked, not even looking up from his menu.

"Yeah, pretty much," I answered, beckoning the two well-dressed individuals to sit down with us. "So, uh, who are you guys anyway?"

"I'm Special Agent Johnson and this is Special Agent Jonson," the first one said, gesturing to his partner. I raised an eyebrow and put on an unimpressed expression. This had to be some sort of prank.

"So you're both Johnson then."

"No," the woman interjected, "I'm Jonson, he's Johnson."

"Right," I grumbled, glancing at Andy. He ruffled his menu as if it were a newspaper, already starting to pretend he was in some spy movie. "So, agents of what, exactly? Change? Chaos? S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"We're with the Secret Santa Service," Johnson answered, both of them pulling out their badges and IDs. Conveniently, the pictures on their IDs still showed them wearing their huge sunglasses, making them impossible to identify. Furthermore, Secret Santa Service? This was even more a stupid prank than it was five minutes ago.

"Does that mean you protect Santa Claus, or you go around discreetly giving people presents?"

"The former," Johnson said, folding his arms.

"Though the latter does sound like fun," Jonson added.

"Right, right, whatever," I continued, waving my hands at them. "Let's just say I believe all this. What do you want from us?"

"From you and your friends?" Johnson clarified. "Nothing."

"We are, however, rather intrigued by your manager, Pam," Jonson elaborated. "We believe she may be a threat to Yuletide security."

Andy suddenly snapped his menu shut and slammed it down on the table. He leaned on top of it, suspiciously eyeing Johnson and Jonson.

"Let me get this straight," he began, gesturing randomly with one hand. "You expect us to believe that A, Pam is some kind of Christmas-hating psychopath, and B, the mall Santa we've been working with out there is the, and I mean the real Santa Claus?"

"We understand this might be a little hard to swallow," Johnson said, smiling subtly.

"If you're more open to the possibility, you could always choose to believe he is a sufficiently advanced alien life form who has simply chosen to impersonate the human race's widely accepted perception of Santa Claus," Jonson offered, her eyebrows raising behind her sunglasses.

"Right, much more believable," Andy said, waving a hand at them dismissively. "And what does that make you? Elves?"

Johnson and Jonson simultaneously tucked their hair back to reveal their ears, which ended in sharp points. Andy shook his head, glancing at me for a second in amusement.

"What's your first name, sweet cheeks?" he asked, gesturing to Jonson.

"Holly," the "elf" answered, crossing her arms and starting to scowl. Andy snorted with laughter, placing a hand on his forehead.

"Of course it is. What the hell's your name? Jolly?"

"It's Fred," Johnson corrected.

"Bullshit, your name's Jolly."

"Oh, great!" I heard Jade suddenly shout. I turned back to the kitchen door to see her skating toward us, carrying a tray with two glasses of water. "There's more of you now? I need a new job." Jade skated up between me and Jonson, but before anyone else could get another word in, Jonson reached into her jacket and drew out a small bottle and quickly sprayed Jade in the face with some kind of red and white mist.

Jade blinked rapidly to clear her eyes, and then she sniffed at the spray that still hung in the air around her. Her face contorted and she gave a loud "EH-CHUUU!" that sent her rolling backward a few feet, but for once she didn't seem terribly bothered by it.

"Whoa..." she breathed, waving a hand up and down in front of her face. "I feel so..." Jade suddenly met eyes with Andy, and a dopey smile spread across her face. Still keeping her tray of glasses balanced on one hand, she skated over to him and bent over until her head was level with his.

"Hey there, Andy," Jade cooed, her smile widening. For lack of a better word, she sounded kind of high. "What do you want for lunch? Go ahead and order whatever you want. It's on me, babe."

"The hell did you do to her?" Andy asked, pointing at the giddy waitress. "Jade hates me, and she's never this nice to anyone anyway."

"Peppermint spray," Jonson explained, tucking the bottle back into her jacket. "It causes an irresistible rush of positive emotions. R&D's most festive invention for incapacitating even the most angry and rowdy individuals."

"We need to get some of that for Charlie," Andy laughed, patting Johnson on the back. I glanced back up at Jade to see she was completely red in the face, and I could almost see steam coming off of her head.

"Hooh," she breathed, fanning her face again. "Is it just me or is it really toasty in here? I'm thirsty." Without another glance at us, Jade grabbed one of the glasses of water off her tray and downed it in a matter of seconds. After pausing to wipe her mouth, she did the same with the second glass, but she still looked like she was overheating.

"You should go stick your head in the ice box," Andy said, gesturing at the kitchen door. Jade nodded, tucking her now empty tray under one arm.

"I think I will," she moaned, fanning her face yet again. "Stay right here, Andy. I'll bring you your lunch in a minute." Jade slowly skated back into the kitchen, and then the four of us sat in silence as we waited for the inevitable. After we heard Jade dunk her head in the ice box, our odd conversation resumed.

"So, what's your play here?" I asked, gesturing at the "elves." "I mean, assuming any of this is even actually true, why tell us? If Pam really is some sort of threat, or whatever, why not take care of her yourself?"

"Because we've been chasing her for years," Jonson said, adjusting her sunglasses. "As soon as the mall Santa setup closes down, she'll disappear again until next winter unless we grab her now."

"But what does she even do? And how do you expect us to help?" I asked, scratching my head in confusion.

"That's classified," Johnson and Jonson said in unison. "It would be an even greater threat to Yuletide security if anyone else finds out what Pam knows."

Andy and I stared at Johnson and Jonson in disbelief. I rested my face in my palms for a second before looking back up at the two of them.

"So, you're not going to tell us what she's up to, but you still expect us to do something about it. That sounds awfully convenient for two people pulling some kind of extremely elaborate prank," I said, pushing myself up from my chair. "Come on, Andy. Let's get out of here."

"But Jade's going to bring me my lunch for free," he protested, lying down on the table.

"Actually," Jonson interjected, "the peppermint spray will most likely wear off by then. I'm afraid she's going to charge you."

Requiring no further persuasion, Andy gave the "elves" a blank, disappointed stare and pushed himself away from the table as well. He stood, still staring at Johnson and Jonson, and followed me out of the café. We hadn't actually gotten anything to eat, but the sooner we could get away from those two crazies, the better.

"Eghhh'HEEW!"

I heard another of Pam's ridiculous sneezes echo through the mall as we approached the Santa area again. Tracy and Charlie were already there, and Pam was tapping her foot and staring at her watch as Andy and I walked toward them. After a second she beckoned to us and then tapped on her watch, prompting Andy and I to run the rest of the way there. Santa was still asleep on his throne, but Pam didn't seem to care.

"You were almost late," she said with her usual smile. I glanced back at the gate, finding it empty once again.

"There isn't even anyone here," I pointed out, quickly realizing I probably shouldn't have.

"That's exactly the problem," Pam said, her smile faltering subtly. "If you can't find some way to boost our traffic here, then you're all fired."

Well, that's a little grave. I pondered this for a moment, and I really couldn't think of anything to say. I probably should have just walked away, but the look Pam was giving me told me she'd fire us on the spot if I didn't have some sort of answer for her. This job was ass, but we were in too deep to not even get paid for it.

"I have a plan," Andy of all people said, stepping up to bat.

Shit.

"Go on," Pam said, turning to him. Andy nodded and beckoned for Tracy to join him.

"If we could just leave this little Santa enclosure for a few minutes, I promise we can draw people in."

"Very well," Pam answered, glancing at her watch again. "Go. If you're not back in five minutes, you're all fired."

Andy and Tracy headed for the gate, but I stopped the latter for a second as he passed. He glanced back at Pam to make sure she wouldn't explode, but she was just staring at us expectantly.

"Please, don't screw this up," I said, hoping I sounded more pleading than accusatory. Andy smiled and gave me a wink.

"You know me."

Shit.

Andy and Tracy disappeared into the crowds of the mall as they enacted their plan, whatever it was. In the meantime, absolutely nobody came by to see Santa. The only commotion of any kind was Pam's occasional sneezing.

"Eghhhh'HEEEW!!!"

Santa woke up for a few seconds as Pam let out another high-pitched sneeze, but then he just fell asleep again until the next one. I became vaguely aware that Pam's sneezes were becoming more and more frequent, and she seemed like she might have been getting a bit more sick. On one hand I was a little glad in a mean way, but at the same time that made me worry she was more likely to fly off the handle at us. Charlie and I glanced at each other every now and then, and I felt like talking a bit would probably make us feel better, but we didn't dare leave our posts.

With only seconds to spare, I saw Andy and Tracy making their way back toward our Santa area. Somehow I wasn't at all surprised to see them wearing gray and white three-piece suits, with Andy even sporting a heavy overcoat. Pam's smile remained as she watched them make their way through the gate, but I could swear her eye twitched in the creepiest way possible. Andy grabbed the microphone from the podium by the gate and Tracy stopped to insert a CD into the sound system.

"Good after-" Andy said into the microphone before realizing it wasn't on. He fiddled with it for a second before activating it with a high-pitched buzz.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," Andy started over, smiling out at the crowds of people who, for the moment, were still just passing us by. "You've all seen Santa at the mall before, so let's make this a little more interesting." He gracefully swung his arms around and came to a stop pointing at Tracy. She silently nodded to him and pressed play.

"Let's see if you can spot this one." Bowing his head, Andy spun around and slipped out of his overcoat. He flung it away and as if by magic it managed to land right on Charlie's head as if she were a coat rack. After stumbling around for a second, Charlie fell over and landed on her bottom, the coat still draped over her like a sheet.

"ANDY!" she bellowed, but before she could make her usual string of threads, a quirky and familiar sound began to play through the surrounding sound system. It didn't take me long to recognize the funky synth and bass of Wonderful Christmastime. Even Charlie seemed to pick up on it; she calmed down faster than I'd ever seen her before.

"The moon is right, The spirit's up," Andy began, starting to sway back and forth slowly. Tracy stood up from behind the podium and made her way over to him, stepping in time with the beat.

"We're here tonight, And that's enough," Andy continued, he and Tracy bowing to each other.

"Simply having a wonderful Christmas time." Tracy still didn't sing, but she and Andy began to put on a simplistic dance in perfect harmony with each other. Charlie stood back up, leaving Andy's coat in a heap on the floor. That was better than I expected; at least she didn't throw it back at him.

"A choir of children sing their song." They paused for a brief instrumental section, and then Tracy actually joined Andy by the microphone.

"Ding dong, ding dong. Ding dong, ding. Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oooo... Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oooo Oooo..."

As Andy and Tracy finished off their oo-ing, I noticed a few people starting to gather around our little are. By jove, this was actually working! Santa was wide awake again, swaying to the music on his throne, and even Pam seemed a little more genuinely happy than usual. The song continued, and sure enough a few people started lining up at the gate. Pam began letting them in and I returned to my usual duty of snapping pictures of the kids before they could get away.

I suppose I expected this sort of behavior from Andy, but I never would have expected Tracy to engage in his monkeyshines. She mostly just danced, but she did rejoin Andy for the second "ding dong" part. The way they danced around each other made me glad the microphone was wireless, not that Andy would have checked, or cared, if it was. As the song began to come to an end, Andy leaned back so far it looked like he was about to fall over and shredded some mean air-guitar over the solo. I have to admit I was almost distracted by it, but I managed to get back on track with taking pictures before Pam could catch me.

"Ohhhhh, ohhh, ohhhh, oh. Ohhhh, ohhh, ohhh, Christmas Time."

Andy and Tracy finished out the song together, and the surrounding crowd actually started to cheer. As annoying as Andy's schemes usually were, this one actually made me feel really good. Santa and Pam threw their red and white hats into the air as Andy and Tracy bowed, and even Charlie couldn't help but smile like a little kid on, well, Christmas.

Then, all my fun suddenly shattered. I caught sight of both Johnson and Jonson watching me from the edge of the crowd. I didn't really believe what they'd said, but the fact that they were actually nowhere to be seen since our meeting until now did irk me a little. A group of people passed in front of them and then they were gone again, but I was still a bit worried. Luckily, nothing horrible happened. At least, not right away.

We finished out the rest of the people in line to see Santa, but as soon as the line came to an end, Pam closed up the gate and gathered us together.

"So, what'd you think of that?" Andy asked with an unbeatable smirk. Pam gave him her usual smile. That scared me. The actual, genuine smile she'd had during the song was gone and she was back to her old self.

"Thanks for all your help," she said, pausing for a moment to sniffle. "And now, you're all fired."

All five of us stood in silence for a second.

"I'm sorry. What?" Andy blurted, digging a finger in his ear as if he'd heard Pam incorrectly.

"You changed out of your elf costumes, which was clearly a breach of your contract. Furthermore, your behavior was incredibly disruptive," Pam explained, sniffling once more. Her smile seemed much more smug than usual. Patting Andy and Tracy on the back, Pam turned away from the group and made her way out of the Santa area. Strangely, she didn't even clean out the register. She just up and left.

"I guess the suits were overkill," Andy wondered aloud, saying something I never thought I'd hear come out of his mouth. For once, I actually disagreed. Or as usual I disagreed. I don't even know anymore.

"No, there's something else going on here," I said, scratching my chin. I tried to look after Pam again, but she was already gone. "She's just pulling excuses out her ass to cover up something else. Maybe those elf guys were right."

"Oh, so you believe them now?" Andy asked, giving me a smirk.

"Well, not the part about them being elves. Maybe Pam really is some kind of nutcase."

"I think we knew that going in."

"Hey, kids," a kindly voice said from behind me. I turned to see Santa getting off his throne for the first time all day. He gave us a regretful smile and took a few steps toward us. "I'm sorry about all this. I should have known that Pam was up to no good. I suppose I can't pay you, but I can try to make this up to you somehow."

Santa extended a hand to us with a smile. I feel like he probably didn't expect us to go with him, but I tried to come up with a good reason for it anyway. Andy would probably actually take his offer anyway. However, before any of us could say a word, Charlie finally exploded.

"WHAT!?" she bellowed, throwing her head back and thrusting her arms up at the ceiling. "What the HELL just happened? I haven't been working this stupid job ALL DAY for charity!"

Without another peep, Charlie stormed out of the Santa enclosure and headed off toward where Pam had disappeared to. Pam was long gone by now so I had no idea how Charlie intended to find her, but knowing her, she'd figure something out.

"Where are you going?" Andy called after her, cupping a hand around his mouth.

"To collect my paycheck!" Charlie shouted back, kicking decorative box out of the way. Andy, Tracy and I glanced back and forth between each other. Without a word, Tracy took off after Charlie jogging to catch up. Andy gave me a stupid smile that just screamed "screw you guys, I'm going with Santa." Rolling my eyes, I waved a hand at him dismissively and followed Charlie and Tracy. Someone had to make sure Charlie didn't actually kill Pam, and I had a feeling Tracy might feel inclined to join in.

"We'll be on the roof," Santa hollered as I left. I heard him and registered it, but I completely ignored the possibility that he might do something horrible like push Andy off the roof. In fact, that might not be so bad.

It didn't take me long to catch up with Charlie, but it was clear she had no idea where Pam was. Luckily, the mad manager gave herself away before we even had to start searching.

"Eghhh'HEEEW!"

One of Pam's distinctive sneezes split the air, and we were all pleasantly surprised to see she wasn't even that far away. Charlie quickly got her bearings and charged over to the woman, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around.

"Pam!" Charlie shouted, closing her fingers firmly on Pam's shoulder. "This can end in two ways. Either I get my paycheck, or you get a knuckle sandwich."

Wow, good one, Charlie. Knuckle sandwich. Got some really great 1990s flair going.

"I'm afraid not," Pam said as she turned around. She still had her creepy smile on. I could tell it hadn't changed physically, but the context of our meeting made it seem downright threatening. Suddenly, Charlie grabbed Pam by the collar with both hands and lifted her into the air. Pam looked frightened, but not nearly as much as she should have.

"Where's your Christmas spirit?" Charlie sneered, gritting her teeth. Pam's frightened expression quickly regressed back to her usual smile, and then she took a slow, deep breath. When she exhaled, a flurry of snowflakes swarmed out of her mouth. Charlie began to blink rapidly as the snowflakes pelted her face, and in her confusion she loosened her grip on Pam.

"Huhhh..." Charlie's breath began to waver as the snowflakes flowed up into her nostrils. She scrunched up her nose, and then she finally let Pam drop. Pam quickly scampered away, and Tracy and I were too concerned with what she'd done to Charlie to follow her.

"Huhhhhh... HUAA-KNNNX!!!"

Charlie bent forward with one of her usual big sneezes. A bit of snot was ejected out of her right nostril, but before it could start to dangle it flash-froze into a little icicle. Starting to shiver, Charlie reached a hand up to her face and gently touched the icicle protruding out of her nostril. She gasped in surprise, and then a wave of snow washed over her entire body. When the snow cleared, Tracy and I discovered that Charlie had been completely frozen. In fact, she wasn't just frozen. Her whole body, hair, clothes and all, had been completely turned to ice. I could see Tracy through her. Her face was even frozen in the same startled expression.

Now, the Adventure Club and I had been through some pretty crazy shit. This blew it all away. Suddenly, the elves' warning started to seem a lot more plausible. I could tell Tracy was concerned about Charlie, and I was too, but my panic suddenly gave way to a much-needed wave of clarity. Pam must have just acquired this ability of hers. I have no idea how, but it must have been recent. She was crazy enough that she would have been using it already if she could have. Now, she was gone again, and if we wanted to have so much as a hope of getting Charlie back to normal, we'd have to hunt ourselves some Pam.

It took a little convincing to get Tracy away from Charlie's ice-sculpture of a body, but eventually I did get her to follow me. I remembered Santa saying he and Andy would be on the roof, so I did my best to find a staircase on the top floor, or a ladder, or anything else that would get us there. My adrenaline started to die down a bit, and as it did I became very aware of a certain creepy fact. I'd never seen this mall empty before, but it was damn near cleared out. There was no one standing out in the halls, and the only people I could see were taking cover behind the counters in various stores. Even worse, Tracy and I started to come across other frozen people before too long. Pam didn't just have it in for us.

Eventually, I did manage to find a maintenance staircase leading up to the roof. Tracy followed me up, and as I kicked the door open at the top, I immediately wished I was wearing something more substantial than my stupid elf costume. At least I had my other clothes on underneath it. At the far end of the roof, Andy and Santa had set up a pair of lawn chairs, and I could have sworn I saw smoke rising from them.

"There she is, right down there," Andy said, talking like he had something in his mouth. "1986 Aston Martin V8 Vantage. My grandfather left her to me not too long ago. She's a beauty, but I'm thinking of putting my own spin on her. What do you think about white-wall tires?"

"Andy!" I shouted as loud as I could. Hopefully he'd get the message that this was important.

"Yo," Andy waved to us, holding what appeared to be a cigar between his fingers. I slapped a palm to my forehead and made my way toward him, trudging through the snow piled up on the roof.

"Are you smoking cigars with Santa Claus?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Ho ho ho!" Santa laughed, placing a hand on his belly and holding up his own cigar. "You bet he is!"

I shook my head, realizing I'd gotten sidetracked again. I ran as fast as I could through the snow and pulled Andy up out of his chair. He nearly dropped his cigar, but managed to catch it before it fell into the snow.

"Pam's gone crazy and she turned Charlie into an ice sculpture!"

Andy's cigar fell out of his mouth the second he put it back in. He laid his hands on my shoulders and held me at arm's length.

"Surely you jest."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Santa start to panic. He dropped his cigar too, and then he reached a hand up to his head. After poking at his hat for a second, he removed it and stared at the inside.

"Ho ho oh no!" he cried, placing one hand on the side of his head. "I'm afraid he's right! This isn't my hat!"

"So?" Andy and I blurted at the same time.

"I made that hat to boost my Yuletide abilities! I should have known someone would try to steal it! Pam must have left her hat in place of mine when we tossed them after the song," Santa explained. He placed his hands on either side of his head and began to rock back and forth in panic.

"So now you're telling us you're the real Santa too?" Andy asked incredulously. I was actually kind of surprised he was less receptive of this than I was, but then again, I could tell I was starting to have a bit of a mental breakdown.

"Andy," I stammered, shaking him again, "I don't know if he's the real Santa, but Charlie really just got frozen. I'll believe whatever's going to turn her back. This is serious!"

Andy narrowed his eyes, his expression becoming much more grave. He stared at me for a second and then held me out at arm's length again.

"Let's get serious, then. Follow me."

Leaving Santa on the roof, Tracy and I followed Andy back into the mall. Normally I would have been running the other way, but in a situation was crazy as this, I was more than prepared to trust the craziest person with our plan. Along the way we saw even more frozen people here and there, and the sounds of distant screams told us Pam was probably still wreaking havoc somewhere. Moving cautiously but quickly, we made our way to the large sporting goods store at the far end of the mall, though I wasn't sure what our purpose was yet.

Andy grabbed a baseball bat as we passed through the entrance to the store, but he kept going all the way to the back. Then, his plan finally dawned on me.

"No way," I protested, crossing my arms. Andy just kept going.

"We're not going to kill Pam," I continued, watching as Tracy continued to follow.

Having arrived at the woefully understated "Outdoors" section of the store, Andy leapt over the counter and smashed open a glass case holding a collection of shotguns. An alarm began to sound, but nobody was around to stop him. After tossing one shotgun to Tracy, who caught it with a downright scary level of dexterity, Andy grabbed two more; one for him and one for me.

"Come on," he said, hefting one of the guns as he prepared to throw it to me. "We're not going to kill her. We're just going to scare her a little. A lot."

"Okay, fine," I conceded, partially. "But why these? I've never even held a real gun before. Have you?"

"I have," Tracy interjected unexpectedly. I glanced over at her to find her loading shells into her shotgun one at a time, a scarily focused expression on her face.

"WHEN!?" I blurted, swinging my arms down at the floor.

"Dude, her dad's basically Paul Bunyan the mythical mountain man.

Edited February 25, 2014 by Blah

[Curiosity234]

Well that was fantastically weird. Pretty cute too. And chock-full of useful demographic information!

*Writing notes- "Charlie has... a... big... bottom..."*

[a red nine]

1

"Hey there, Mini-Quinn!" Andy called from the other side of the throne. "You here to see Santa?"

God dammit, Andy.

2

"No," the woman interjected, "I'm Jonson, he's Johnson."

"Right," I grumbled

3

After we heard Jade dunk her head in the ice box, our odd conversation resumed.

4

"I have a plan," Andy of all people said, stepping up to bat.

Shit.

5

For once, I actually disagreed. Or as usual I disagreed. I don't even know anymore.

6

"Are you smoking cigars with Santa Claus?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Ho ho ho!" Santa laughed, placing a hand on his belly and holding up his own cigar. "You bet he is!"

7

"Okay, fine," I conceded, partially. "But why these? I've never even held a real gun before. Have you?"

"I have," Tracy interjected unexpectedly. I glanced over at her to find her loading shells into her shotgun one at a time, a scarily focused expression on her face.

"WHEN!?" I blurted, swinging my arms down at the floor.

8

"I'm sorry!" Andy wailed, sounding like he was about to cry. That alone told me he was apologizing to the car rather than me.

9

"and wearing the hat proved to be too much for you," she pointed to Andy.

"Damn," Andy groaned

Yeah those were all my favorite parts because as usual I like goofy things. This story definitely has a smorgasbord of action, heartfelt moments, humor and mystery. I especially appreciated the humor but that's to be expected. Tracy and Toby's kiss at the end tho - is that going to translate to the main series?? Hmm, guess I'll have to read and see. I can tell you had a lot of fun with this, that shown through in your writing clearly, which is the most important part of any Christmas tale. Good work as usual and oh hey it's actually Christmas, Merry Christmas!

Edited December 25, 2013 by a red nine

[sneasons greetings]

So. Goddamn. Cute.

I love Adventure club

Even though it could be argued that this is a little long, I enjoy a long read, so it was fabulous.

Of course, a lot of stories are this long so there's nothing to worry about. You just have an inability to post in chapters

Firstly, I love that you included the links to the Christmas songs. It keeps up the interactivity of the story even though it's not the same way as usual. It's great to be in the loop. I hate it when people mention songs in their stories and I have no idea what they're on about.

Loopy-cute Tracy was pretty much the cutest thing ever. Next to the much anticipated kiss scene.

Muehuehue

And I really like that Toby and Charlie ended up sick from the cold. That was super cute as well.

Peace, fool.

[Skyler]

I can never get enough of the Adventure Club! I was so hoping that you would update again - and what do you know, YOU DID! Thanks for this Christmas one, I'm looking forward to reading more parts on the other thread!

[Pilgrim]

This was the definition of a "romp" I'm pretty sure. Really, really fun read!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

This is really awesome. Alien Santa, brilliant. Oh, and I loved the whole Johnson thing. And and... so cute at the end. xD Need to run now but will probably squee to you later about it.

[Blah!?]

I was just re-reading this story, and it looks like it randomly gets cut off halfway through now. Is anyone else seeing that? I'll try to fix it, but it may end up getting split apart into two posts.