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The Boy Who Got the Panties (Hetalia)


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The Panties were legendary at Geneva High. No one knew where they came from, or why they were so important. Some say they were dropped from a German aircraft during the war, others say they were a rip-off Japanese brand manufactured in China.

Every person possessing a Y chromosome under the age of eighteen at Geneva High wanted those panties. They were housed in the girl’s bathroom in the drama hall, hidden behind a brick in the wall. All the girls knew which brick. It was part of the initiation ceremony. However, they were sworn to secrecy, and the girls of Geneva High were very good at keeping their secrets.

Gilbert Beilschmidt wanted those panties. Songs of praise would chorus from every locker room and playing field, and the halls would echo with the squeals of the cheerleaders when he walked by. Gilbert Beilschmidt: the Boy Who Got the Panties.

Except he didn’t expect to have to swipe a paper towel from above the sink to blow his nose while he was on his mission. He had gotten in, Stage One. It was during class when the halls would be deserted. Francis and Antonio stood outside, further discouraging any girl from walking in.

Gilbert shivered a little as he threw the paper towel away, scanning the walls for a loose brick. He quickly brought the collar of his shirt over his nose as a tickle sparked up in the back of his sinuses. “Huh… hupt-schhhhou!” He opened his eyes, squinting at the light while his nose continued to twitch. “ickg’shhuh!” The tickle subsided, for the time being. It was manageable, but still hella annoying.

Gilbert rubbed his nose with a fist. He was grateful that his sneezes weren’t as powerful as his brother’s, unless he exaggerated them. He’d been doing that a lot, for attention, until he briefly lost his voice and Ludwig threatened him into stopping. The threat? Unplugging the Internet and burying the cord in the yard. He’d been sneezing like a normal person ever since.

“Salud!” Called Antonio.

“Shhh! Hush, Tonio, they’ll know he’s in there!” Francis snapped.

“Well it could be any-”

“What are you perverts doing out here?”

Gilbert froze, backing into the counter. Elizabeta.

“We’re um, relaxing,” Antonio said quickly.

“Antonio, hon, lying looks bad on you. Please don’t,” Elizabeta replied. Gilbert could almost see her disinterested scowl.

“You don’t want to go in there,” Francis said. “They’ve been doing maintenance and it’s disgusting.”

“Get out of my way,” Elizabeta growled.

Gilbert knew his friends were fighting a losing battle. He darted into one of the stalls and locked the door, crouching between the toilet and the wall. He could see Liz is a les written in sparkly pink Sharpie on the bricks beside him.

“Girls are passive aggressive lil shits,” he murmured in awe, raising his eyebrows.

“Wait, stop!” Antonio cried desperately as the door slammed open with a screech.

“Weirdos,” Elizabeta muttered. Gilbert watched her boots click across the floor. They were the kind every single girl seemed to own now, black and laced up. Faux combat boots.

Gilbert’s own Dr. Martens (the real deal) were at an awkward angle. The black leather was starting to bend as he crouched. His ankles were starting to ache.

Elizabeta’s boots stopped in front of a sink. There was the sound of a bag unzipping, and then silence. Gilbert shifted uncomfortably. If she wasn’t going to do anything, why was she still here?

A tiny sniffle broke his train of thought. His eyes widened as he heard another, accompanied by a breathy sob. The faux combat boots did a 180, and suddenly Elizabeta’s legs came crashing into view as she sank to the floor. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, her bony wrists looking like they could snap.

Gilbert was craning his head to see if he could get a good look up her lacy skirt when the tickle at the back of his nose returned with a vengeance. Shutting his eyes tight, he buried his nose in the sleeve of his hoodie, praying. Breathing in silent gasps, he felt his eyes beginning to water. Hot tears squeezed out the corners of his eyes and ran down the side of his nose. This certainly didn’t help matters.

Elizabeta’s quiet sobs were growing more frequent. They sounded strained, repressed, like she was choking on them, but trying to do so as silently as possible. As Gilbert held down the storm brewing in his sinuses, he wondered what the hell she was doing crying on a bathroom floor. She was Elizabeta, she didn’t cry on bathroom floors.

“Huh-huh-huhhh hmmpff! heh’kppffff! eppfffff!” Gilbert got a chance to catch his breath, but soon jerked forward again. “hngk! g’kk-shhpfff!” They were getting more congested-sounding. The stifling was making him dizzy, and making his sneezing worse.

Elizabeta shifted, her crying stopping abruptly. “Who- who’s there?” She asked, tightening her grip around her legs.

h’gkkkishhh! hehshh! gkpfff!” Gilbert pinched his nose shut with a squelch.

“Natasha?” Elizabeta asked warily, getting onto all fours to look under the stall. Her brown hair fell over her shoulder, the soft curls brushing the ground.

She froze.

Gilbert glared murderously at his boots.

“What. The. Actual. Fucking. Hell. Are. You. Doing.”

Gilbert jerked into his fist with a horribly wet and congested “h’ekkppshhhh!” He groaned, swiping his sleeve under his streaming nose. “Sdeezi’g,” he replied huskily.

“I gathered that, but why here?”

“Beh…. becauhhh… hrk’shhhhou! eh’schhhhhhhuh! Because I habe a cold,” Gilbert said with a small cough.

“Well don’t think you’re going to get any sympathy from be, you disgusting pervert,” Elizabeta said, getting to her feet. “You were probably looking up my skirt.”

Gilbert blushed slightly.

“Go on, open the door,” she said.

Gilbert held his sleeve under his nose, sniffling hard. He got up and pushed the door open, leaning miserably in the doorway. “Ared’d you goi’g do say ‘bless you?’” He asked piteously.

Elizabeta’s lip curled. She was blushing furiously, her own nose runny from crying. Her eyes were red, and her lips were still quivering slightly. Mascara ran down her face, smeared like war paint across her cheeks.

“Get out,” she spat, pulling herself to her full height. Gilbert still towered over her.

“Why were you cryi’g?” Gilbert asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“No reason,” Elizabeta said, yanking him a paper towel. “Blow your nose,” she said, tossing it at him.

Gilbert caught it, burying his face in it and turning away. He blew stuffily, petering off into a congested honk. His head still wasn’t clear, but unless he could get his hands on some more cold medicine, he was going to stay blocked up.

“Okay, that was gross. Leave,” Elizabeta said.

“Not until you tell me why you were crying!”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you!” The words were out before his mind had time to register what he was saying.

Elizabeta choked back another sob. She crossed her arms, looking away from Gilbert without saying anything.

“I mean, like, as a friend… an’ stuff…” Realisation dawned on him. “Is this about them calling you a lesbian?” He asked, failing to mask his astonishment.

Elizabeta nodded, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“Well, um, that’s… that’s dumb!” Gilbert said, balling his fists. “Who the hell cares who you think is cute?”

“Ever since Roderich… and I… they think that…” she stared at the ground. “They think that I must be gay to not want to be with him.”


“And then I kind of kissed Bella at Michelle’s sleepover,” Elizabeta finished, finally meeting Gilbert’s eyes.

“Wow, um, do you like Bella?” Gilbert asked.

“Not really, I’ve just always wanted to kiss a girl,” Elizabeta replied, her gaze moving to Gilbert’s boots.

Gilbert bit back a sigh of relief. He still kinda-sorta had a chance. He brought his fist to his nose, feeling his breath start to hitch again. “ikkg’shhhhh! Heh-eh’kgtschhhhhou!” He sniffled, murmuring a quiet “Excuse be.”

Elizabeta sighed. “Bless you,” she said.

Gilbert grinned, his whole frame straightening slightly. “Thadks,” he replied.

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That took a turn. I did not see the story developing like that. Nice plot :) . Please tell me theirs a second part ? I'd love to read it :D !

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This. Is. So. CUTE. X3

I really like it! Aww, you're such an amazing writer XD

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