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Karkat with Allergies and his Moirail Gamzee


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I made this little diddy before I joined the forum. Karkat tries to hide his allergies from his moirail gamzee and fails miserably as they embark forest journey. It was originally posted in 4 chapters. That's about all there is to say on the matter smile.png


Karkat knew this was a bad idea from the start. For one thing, it was spring and the flowers were all in full fucking bloom. If their blooms were any fuller their hideous powder spawn would be flying out all over the place. Oh wait, that was happening. Second, Karkat had been priding himself in how well he hid his allergies...that is...up until he ran out of meds.

So to reiterate, nothing good could possibly come out of his walk through the woods with gamzee. The goofy motherfucker just had to insist didn't he? Gets real excited about his nature adventures, or plant parties, or whatever his sopor-riddled brain felt like naming it that day. And how could Karkat say no to his moirail when he honestly had nothing better to do? Besides sit there feeling sorry for his miserable sneeze ridden self.

So Karkat put on a brave (but mostly angry) face, and began his journey to Gamzee's favorite place, Meadow Wood Park. Named for its serene meadows hidden within the dense pines and winding paths of the area. Literally hidden, because there is no map. Everytime Gamzee finds a meadow he calls it a "mIrAcLe oF ThE BeSt mOtHeRfUcKiNg kInD," because you never know when, or if you'll find one. However, no map means no way to know your way out, besides relying on keen troll instincts. After fishing the capricorn out of the woods twelve too many times, the park managers highly reccomended that he should not go alone. Needless to say this isn't the first time Karkat has been dragged along on Gamzee's forest fun runs.

They met at the usual spot, a tree where Karkat carved a "7.gif)" into the bark with his sickle. He found Gamzee lounging on a low branch, decorating his mop of hair with pine needles. As soon as he saw his moirail, Gamzee flopped off his perch, landing surprisingly steady on both feet with a solid thud.

"hEy kArBrO! wHaT ToOk yOu sO LoNg? rEaDy tO FiNd yOuRsElF SoMe mOtHeRfUcKiNg mEaDoWs?"

"I STOPPED TO SMELL THE FUCKING ROSES. YET HERE I AM, SMELLING ANOTHER SHIT TON OF ROSES. YOU WOULD THINK MY NOSE WOULD PREFER SOME PETUNIAS HERE AND THERE BUT NO, MY NASAL HUNGER FOR LOVE FLOWERS WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED." What took him so long was that he took the long route to avoid as much fauna as possible, but he wasn't about to admit that. He tried to pull some of the pine needles from Gamzee's hair during his rant, but had to stand a little on his tip toes to reach, and gave up quickly.

"sOuNdS LiKe a mOtHeRfUcKiNg pArTy iN YoUr fAcE!" he replied as he ruffled Karkat's hair

"YOU COULD SAY THAT. LET'S JUST GET GOING." more like a party in his nose. God damn had the troll been rolling around in the flowers? That was actually more than likely. Whatever it was it set off Karkat's nose like the god damn tickle monster. But he could contain it - for now. He was determined to hide this for as long as possible.

"hOnK!" was the only reply he got as they picked a random path.


As they walked through the forest things didn't get any better for Karkat. Gamzee kept rambling about the beautiful flowers he found on his way here. Turns out he WAS rolling around in them. Excellent.

The tickle in his nose was reaching dangerous levels. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand a few times, but it didn't do any good. *snnffff*

That was a bad idea. Gamzee was walking right next to him, still covered in pollen. All that did was suck an invisible cloud of allergens into Karkat's nose and make the tickle ten times stronger. It started in the back of his nasal passages, then pushed its way to the front until his nostrils were flaring and his breath was shaky. He stopped in his tracks.

"...haahh...hehh..." his eyes fluttered as his eyebrows furrowed in anticipation. Gamzee stopped a little ways up ahead and looked back at Karkat's struggling face.

"yOu AlRiGhT kArBrO?" but he was in no condition to form coherent words. At this point Karkat figured there was no use holding it back anymore. His breath hitched, and his face froze in the pre-sneeze expression. After two excrutiatingly long seconds he pinched his nose, wrapped the other arm around his torso, and let out a stiffled squeaky sneeze that bent him over at the waist.

Karkat slowly stood up straight and looked at his moirail's shocked face. He was about to offer an explanation when Gamzee cut him off with his uncontrollable laughter.

"tHaT HaD tO Be tHe mOsT MoThErFuCkInG AdOrAbLe tHiNg i eVeR SaW YoU Do!" Gamzee said, then proceeded laughing his head off.

"SHUT UP! IT WAS ONLY A...Ah...haahh...HEHH...h'CHM!" he bent over again, this sneeze even squeakier than the last. Gamzee was crying now he was laughing so hard. But thankfully the two sneezes were enough to calm the tickle down to the level of background noise.



They walked for half an hour in complete silence. Gamzee was enjoying the scenery whilst stoned out of his mind. Karkat was just struggling not to sneeze again. He knew that if he sneezed anymore Gamzee would suspect something other than those weird sneezes that happen occasionally without reason.

As long as Karkat didn't talk, or take any big breaths, he thought he could manage. His moirail was too distracted by the scenery to notice Karkat's facial expression – which was rather out of character. Instead of the usual furrowed eyebrows, his were slightly raised. Instead of the usual clenched teeth, he was practically slack-jawed, breathing softly through his mouth. Every now and then his eyes would flutter, coming ever so close to a sneeze, but never quite reaching it.

Then, disaster struck.

They found a meadow.

A meadow FULL of dandelions.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Gamzee was so excited he started prancing out into the flowers with his arms spread out wide, as if to catch all the pollen and promptly insert it into Karkat's nose. If Karkat didn't know any better he'd say that's what was happening. He stopped dead in his tracks. His breath hitched violently again and again, hands held out in front of his face, "Hehh….heEEHHH…..Hah, ha, HAH-"

And that's when Gamzee grabbed one of his arms and yanked him out into the field. It was such a shock that he

didn't even sneeze. They ran out into the middle of the field. Well, Gamzee ran; Karkat did more of a stumbling fast walk, still on the brink of sneezing. Suddenly, the frolicking stopped, and Karkat fell over. Gamzee laughed as his little moirail sat up, and joined him on the ground.

"iSn'T ThIs aMaZiNg kArBrO?" said Gamzee. When he didn't get a response he looked over and finally noticed how unusual his partner's facial features were positioned. Still not privy to the unusual amount of sneezing that was about to happen, Gamzee laughed.

"gOnNa sNeEzE AgAiN LiTtLe bUdDy?" Gamzee asked. But attempting to get a response out of Karkat was futile.

The amount of pollen in his nose and the air around him was enough to stun. Even Gamzee was rubbing his nose a little bit.

He hovered on the edge of a sneeze for what seemed like forever, but finally pinched his nose and released one of his stifled sneezes, accompanied by a little chirp. The force of it caused him to bend over, placing his face practically on the ground. He sneezed again, and again, and didn't stop. Gamzee watched in awe until around the tenth sneeze. He wasn't sure what to do.

Then Karkat felt long skinny arms wrap around him as he was pulled into Gamzee's lap. He placed Karkat's back against his front and locked his arms across his chest like a seatbelt. Gamzee could feel the stiff little jerk that came with each sneeze, and the relaxation that came in between. The rhythm was almost soothing, until he remembered how awful it must be for Karkat.

Finally the sneezes died down, and were replaced by an awkward silence. Karkat relaxed into the embrace, each breath a soft fluttering gasp of exhaustion. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, waiting for Gamzee to say something. Patient as ever, he said nothing.

Finally Karkat decided to explain himself. He twisted his head around and looked up at his moirail.

"I….I HAVE ALLERGIES…" he confessed.


"nO sHiT!" Gamzee laughed.

His friend didn't find it so amusing. Karkat groaned and threw his face in his hands. He had never told anyone about his allergies, not even his lusus. It was a weakness. If he was going to be a great leader someday he couldn't have weaknesses that were so easily exploited.

"bUt, It'S nOtHiNg To Be AsHaMeD aLl Up AnD aBoUt." Gamzee said with genuine concern in his voice. "hElL, tHeY'vE gOt Me ToO. dUsT, nOt FlOwErS tHoUgH."

Karkat smiled a little and turned around from his comfy lap seat. He saw the widest, stupidest grin on Gamzee's face. A sneeze caught him by surprise. He didn't have any time to stifle it as it landed on his moirail's shoulder.

"HE'KKSSHH!" it startled both of them. Karkat brought his head back up and looked like he was about to say something. His eyes fluttered as another shoulder bound sneeze surprised him. "HE'EKKSSHHEW!" It was amazing how much higher pitched his sneezes were than his speaking voice.

"sHiT bRo We ShOuLd GeT yOu OuT oF hErE." Gamzee realized. He shifted Karkat onto his back and stood up.

The little one's arms flailed as his almost fell off. Eventually they found their way to a death grip around the other's neck.

Gamzee took off at a brisk walk, wanting to get him out of there fast, but not so fast that the ride was uncomfortable. As the walk went on Karkat's sneezes were fewer and fewer. Every time he could feel the grip on his neck and sides tighten and relax; along with the soft wind against his neck from each audible post sigh.

Gamzee talked for a while about nothing in particular, never expecting a response from Karkat. He just wanted to fill the silence. Karkat wasn't listening anyways. The deep voice sent vibrations into his core that were quite soothing.

Eventually Gamzee noticed that the death grip had loosened to regular grip – which loosened to a nonexistent grip. The breath against his neck had evened and slowed. He shook one of Karkat's knees a little bit.

"kArBrO?" he questioned. All he got in response was a muffled hum. The little fucker had fallen asleep.

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Oh my gosh. I found this story on fanfiction first, so glad you posted it here! :) its really good, you should definitely post more! :D

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AWWW!! I had read this story many times before, but the new little bit you added was so cute!!! <3 <3 <3

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Oh my god I freaking adore Homestuck and that was freaking adorable.

*clap clap*

P.S. Marry me?

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  • 2 weeks later...

oh my gosh this is really cute!!! i didn't think i would find any karkat allergy fics so this is really nice!!! <333

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AIE IT'S PERFECT. *sighs and flops all over the thread* Gawd, I needed that. There is not enough Homestuck sneezefic. Wonderful sneezing fit and great characterization.

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More ? . No problem ! :)

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