Has anyone ever pretended to "discover" the fetish with your partner?

[YoriYori]

Has anyone ever done this? I don't mean just saying, "your sneeze is cute". For example, your partner sneezes and you tell them you felt turned on when they did, but you act like you don't understand why (in other words - pretend that you haven't had a giant fetish/obsession with sneezing for as long as you can remember and listened to tons of wavs, read many fics, or whatever your particular fetish material preference happens to be) or you act like it's the first time/it's only happened with them.

I'm beginning to think this might be the only way I would ever being to approach being comfortable with coming out about it to my boyfriend. First, I would be embarrassed to admit that I've known sneezing was somehow "different" since I was about 5 years old. Second, acting confused might give him a bit of feeling of power with the fetish (assuming he was amused by the confession). However, I feel kind of bad because it's also a bit of a lie, isn't it? It's part truth: I don't understand why some sneezing doesn't do it for me at all (including his) or why sometimes I'm about to fall over from the absolute jelly his sneeze just made my legs turn in to! Like today... at the store... oh my gosh... I'm still going into drunken dream mode thinking about it. But on the other hand, it's not a new thing to me.

If you've done this, how did you cope with your personal feelings of not 100% truth? Why did you do it? How did your partner react?

Edited January 2, 2014 by cherry

[Sawyer]

I started out doing this with my boyfriend, but it didn't really go anywhere. He knew that I liked his sneezes, but we never really did anything about it and the whole ordeal was actually pretty unsatisfying. The fetish is a very very significant part of my sexuality (and of who I am as a person) and downplaying it has always felt dishonest, like he was missing out on a really big part of me. I haven't fully confessed its entire importance to him yet, but I'm slowly working up to it.

However! Every relationship is different. If you feel like this would be the best way to ease into it, then by all means go for it! It's your life and your choices.

I'm just going to add, though, that (I don't know how serious you are yet, but) if you plan on being with him for a very long time, it seems like it would be exhausting to keep it up for however long you guys end up together. The closer you get, the worse you'll feel having lied to him (also, you'll get to know him better and consequently end up trusting him even more). A stable, genuine relationship is about sharing and accepting the other person fully; every honest part of them.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Sen Beret

[Jorm]

It's honestly never occurred to me to do this. Not that I've been in many relationships, but still. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it either, it would feel too much like lying to me.

[YoriYori]

I started out doing this with my boyfriend, but it didn't really go anywhere. He knew that I liked his sneezes, but we never really did anything about it and the whole ordeal was actually pretty unsatisfying. The fetish is a very very significant part of my sexuality (and of who I am as a person) and downplaying it has always felt dishonest, like he was missing out on a really big part of me. I haven't fully confessed its entire importance to him yet, but I'm slowly working up to it.

Ahh, yes that would be a huge risk. To blow the chance to fully reveal the importance would definitely make it awkward in the long run. I mean, I was planning to be extremely graphic in my explanation of what it did to me and encourage him to do it again so there wouldn't be a doubt in his mind about the effects. I just... didn't go into detail as this is an all ages section of the forum ^^;. The only thing is I'd just pretend that it's the first time, I don't know it's a fetish, and wouldn't identify myself as a fetishist. If I came and said it bluntly like that he'd... definitely make all kinds of fun of me ... and that kind of laughter from him is a sign that anything intimate is far from his mind.

It's honestly never occurred to me to do this. Not that I've been in many relationships, but still. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing it either, it would feel too much like lying to me.

Exactly. So torn...

Edited January 5, 2014 by cherry

[Light]

I feel your pain. You would not want to keep such a big part of you a secret but you are scared of how he would react. That being said if you two are meant for each other then it is going to come out sometime and it should. That being said I don't think our particular "fascination" is any stranger then how some are into other fetishy things like whips and the like, yet people are able to get there partners to try that. Maybe ours is just not as well known. I guess what I am saying is that if he really loves you then he will be able to love all of you, sneezyness included. I wish you the best of luck.