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SPN - Guilty - Castiel (For BlackScatter)


MaiMai

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Just a few notes - I didn't really explain this in the fic but they're staying at Bobby's (who is away on a hunt of his own) house following a particularly difficult hunt which resulted in even more demons out to get them, which Castiel somehow got dragged into (which is why he's ended up staying with them).

Also, I know the title sucks. I'm awful at thinking up titles!!

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy it and that I did your scenario justice, Scatter! hug.gif

“What the hell, Cas?! You let Alistair in?!?”

“Dean, I-”

“Dean, just lay off him. It wasn’t his fault-”

“Damn right it was his fault! Now get the hell back out there and check to see if there are anymore!”

“Dean-”

“Just go, Cas!”

Castiel trod the perimeter of the house as Dean’s words echoed in his mind, sharp blue eyes glancing about himself searchingly. He was sure that the elder Winchester was still angry with him, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to respond. So instead he scoured the grounds manually as Dean had instructed him to, having made the decision that doing so would allow him to avoid being the subject of further wrath.

He still wasn’t sure why he hadn’t picked up on the demon’s presence before. Usually Castiel was able to sense a demon from miles away. But something had been slightly…off with his powers recently. And tried as he had to explain this to Dean, it hadn’t made any difference.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you almost got us all killed!”

The shout rung in his ears as if Dean was stood right next to him screaming.

Eventually Castiel completed his circuit of the grounds and returned to the house, shivering a little in the chilly air.

“Well?” Dean asked pointedly as he was practically blown through the door by the howling gale that was beginning to pick up outside.

“The grounds are clear”.

“Right, and you’re sure about that? ‘Cause I’m not exactly keen to have a repeat of Alistair”.

“I am sure” Castiel affirmed, fixing Dean with a somewhat tired gaze.

“That’s good”. The angel nodded, unsure as to where the conversation was going next.

“Because there’re some Enochian sigils we need you to take a look at. C’mon”.

Castiel followed him into Bobby’s study, slumping a little wearily. For some reason that he wasn’t quite able to pinpoint he wasn’t feeling exactly right, and just the thought of Enochian was making his head swim.

“So, Sammy, you wanna show Cas that book?” Castiel’s eyes fell on the dark, heavy volume that lay open on the desk, a peculiar feeling invading his chest. It felt almost as if his heart was…sinking?

“Yeah. Um, it seems to be some sort of – dictionary of Enochian sigils. At least that’s what it appears to be. Most of them we’ve never seen before, so-

“So we need you to tell us what they mean” Dean finished.

“If that’s, y’know, okay” Sam added, giving his brother a look.

Castiel nodded in understanding and sat down at the desk, drawing the book towards him and frowning.

“Awesome, thanks” Dean said less than sincerely, clapping the angel on the back before striding from the room. Sam hovered for a moment, giving Castiel a slightly uncomfortable glance, before following the elder hunter out of the room.

The pages felt irregular under Castiel’s fingertips, the thick paper choked with centuries of dust. He turned the pages slowly, an explosion of dancing grey particles drifting into the air with each movement.

“huhh’yYTSHUUuu! iih’ttiiSCHUUUu!”

He sniffled and rubbed at his nose, musing to himself. The sudden expulsions had seemed to come out of nowhere, and he couldn’t work out why. It couldn’t have been related to the dust; with his presence, his vessel was immune to such irritations.

It made Castiel a little uneasy, but he shrugged it off, returning to the seemingly never-ending page of sigils and beginning to make notes.

In the next room Sam was watching Dean awkwardly. It was obvious that he was still fuming with Castiel for his failure in keeping Alistair at bay, and though he thought it would be better if they just spoke about it, Sam wasn’t sure of how to approach the subject.

“Dean, don’t you think Castiel seems a little…out of it?” he asked following the resounding sneezes from the study.

“You mean besides the fact that he almost got us killed?” Dean scowled.

Sam sighed and looked down, feeling it was better to let the topic drop.

-

Castiel was becoming progressively concerned as the night wore on.

As a celestial being he didn’t require sleep, whether inhabiting a vessel or not. But the longer he worked the more insistent became the pull of slumber; his eyes itched with tiredness, and every fibre of his being felt simply exhausted. All Castiel desired was to curl up and give in to the heavy, weighing sensation that was attempting to lull him into unconsciousness. Which was unsettling, because the feeling was totally and utterly alien to him.

Instead of succumbing he pushed on, willing his mind to make sense of the complex symbols that littered the page before him. Several hundred complete; only several hundred more.

Eventually Castiel rose and paced for a little around the cramped study, hoping that the movement would help to wake him up. It didn’t, and within only a few minutes he was back at the desk, somehow even more exhausted than he had been before.

This time the sigils swum before his eyes when he tried to focus on them. Castiel drew back from the book, supporting his heavy, aching head in his hands.

“hhih’sSHYyUUuu!”

There it was again. He sniffed wearily, vaguely noticing how difficult it was becoming to inhale and exhale through his nose. More than that; the attempts sparked another ghostly tickle that took root at the bridge of his nose, slowly crawling its way downwards.

“iiHhh’SHUUUuuu! ihh’ttihhSHYUUUUuuu!”

Castiel rubbed frustratedly at his nostrils, catching sight of the clock on the mantelpiece as he did so. Four thirty five in the morning. He could have used his celestial powers to sense the time based upon Earth’s rotation, but he was just t-too…tired…

His head hit the open book with a soft thump, the tug of sleep finally having claimed him. No more sound originated from him save for a series of soft, snuffly snores.

-

“Hey, Cas? You alright?”

Castiel’s eyes slowly fluttered open at the soft voice. He could just about make out a figure in the dim light.

“D’n?”

“No, not Dean. Sam”.

With a tremendous amount of effort Castiel lifted his head from the book, looking up with unfocused eyes.

“What happened?”

“Uh, you were sleeping” Sam said, bemusement clear in his voice.

“I don’t sleep”.

“I know, but…you were”.

The angel gazed at Sam as if struggling to grasp the concept of his words.

“Don’t…sleep…” he repeated drowsily.

“Are you alright, Cas? You’ve just seemed a bit off-colour recently, and now you’re sleeping, which isn’t exactly normal for, y’know, an angel…”

He had stopped listening to Sam, gazing past to where Dean stood in the doorway, disapproval obvious in his expression. He held Castiel’s gaze for a moment and then turned his back coldly and walked away. Something heavy settled at the pit of the angel’s stomach, and he looked down at the floor.

“I’m fine, Sam” he murmured, swallowing painfully. A lump seemed to be rising in his throat. He didn’t know whether it was physical or whether it was an effect of this foreign emotion he was experiencing.

“I need to finish the sigils” Castiel uttered and trained his gaze on the book.

“Okay, but…call me if you need anything, alright?” He nodded absently as Sam rose.

“hhih’iIHSHHhUUuuu! iih’yyYHISHUUUuuu! hIiih’ttSHYUUuuuu!”

Sam paused at the sound but said nothing and left the study, leaving Castiel to continue pouring over the text.

He lost track of how many hours he spent deciphering the rest of the sigils. His mind was becoming increasingly foggy and stuffy, his breathing more laboured and wheezing. All Castiel knew was that he was relieved to finish.

“So, you all done?” His eyes snapped upwards quickly to see Dean standing over him.

“Yes” Castiel intoned briefly, getting up and brushing past him on his way out of the room.

“Oh, and Cas?” He paused in his tracks, turning back.

“Yes, Dean?”

“I know it’s late and all, but would you go and check outside? The weather’s crappy but that shouldn’t be a problem for you”.

“Yes, Dean”.

Castiel walked hastily into the hall, keen to be as far away from Dean as possible. He shut the door behind him, a blast of icy, damp wind hitting him as soon as he did so.

“iih’yyYTSHUUUuuu! hihhh’sshiYHUUUuuu!”

The freezing air invaded his overly sensitive nasal passages quickly, prompting another few sneezes. He straightened up and muffled a few weak coughs into a sleeve of his trench coat before setting out into the night.

It was over an hour – or was it two? Maybe even three? – before Castiel completed his patrol and returned to the house, slamming the door shut behind him against the cold.

The tantalising pull of sleep was back, rendering his usually agile movements slow and clumsy. This time it was accompanied by a dull, throbbing heat that seemed to envelop his whole form.

He stumbled further into the hall but was too exhausted even to reach the sitting room. Without a second thought Castiel curled up on the hard, cool floor and slipped into a restless sleep.

-

“Cas? What the hell are you doin’ passed out on the floor?” Dean’s gruff, angry voice startled him awake. Castiel slowly pushed himself up, swaying on his feet.

“Fell asleep…” he mumbled ashamedly.

The tiredness was still there, sucking all the life out of his limbs. But the strange heat that had surrounded him last night had receded into painful, wracking shivers.

“hhih-iih-ihh’ttsshhYUUuuu!”

Even the sneeze was weak, though it jerked Castiel’s body about mercilessly and forced him to lean against the wall for support.

The most fleeting flash of emotion – was it pity? Castiel thought it was. Whatever it was, it was better than anger – flitted across Dean’s face. Seconds later it was replaced by a cold scowl.

“You alright? You look pretty weak”. Though the tone was mostly flat the last part was delivered almost derisively. Castiel clenched his fists and nodded.

“Fine. Not weak” he practically spat back, surprising even himself with the venom in his voice. Dean appeared taken aback for a moment, then nodded.

“C’mon then. Got some more sigils for y’ to look at”.

Castiel trailed after him unsteadily. It was becoming increasingly difficult to co-ordinate his movements, and several times he was forced to clutch at a wall to keep himself upright. He was thankful that Dean didn’t look back.

When they reached the study there was another large, heavy volume sat waiting on the desk. Castiel groped his way dazedly towards it, vision beginning to blur at the edges.

“You sure you’re alright, Cas?”

“I’m fi-fine…”

Castiel trailed off as his knees buckled and he slumped heavily to the floor, darkness engulfing him.

“Cas? CAS?!”

-

“He looks awful…”

“Not surprising. He’s got one hell of a fever”.

“How did this even happen, anyway?”

There was a stony pause.

“What are you glarin’ at me for?”

“None of this would have happened if you hadn’t insisted on working him to the bone, Dean”.

“Hey, wasn’t my fault-”

“You just keep telling yourself that”

“But-”

Castiel groaned indistinctly. Immediately the voices hushed and there was a gentle weight on his shoulder.

“Cas?”

“D’dn?”

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s Dean”.

He struggled to open his eyes. The pounding in his head increased suddenly and he squeezed them closed again.

“Hurts” Castiel croaked congestedly.

“I know. It’s okay”. Something cool was rested against his burning forehead, making him first shiver and then relax.

“Better?”

“Yes” he murmured weakly.

Once again he tried to prise his aching eyes open, this time with more success. Dean’s concerned face swam before him and then steadied.

“How are you feeling, Cas?” Sam asked quietly from somewhere to his left.

“I thidk bmy vessel is workig idc-corre-hhhh-hhih’ttssHYUUuuu!”

Dean had tissues at the ready as if he was physic, holding a small bundle to the lower part of Castiel’s face.

“Bless you”. The angel snuffled and coughed painfully into the folds, too tired to reach up and take them himself.

“Sam, could you go n’ see if there’re any cold meds or anythin’?”

“Yeah, sure”. Castiel briefly glimpsed Sam before he disappeared through the door.

“What h-happed-iih’shhCHYUUuuu! hIih’ttsSHYUUUuuuu!”

“Bless y’ again” Dean said, rubbing at Castiel’s nose gently through the tissues. Then he took a deep breath.

“You-You passed out” he explained, his voice trembling a little.

“Oh” Castiel uttered drowsily, his fogged mind unable to manufacture a more coherent response. He closed his eyes again and exhaled, the sound marred by crackling, choking congestion.

Dean watched him anxiously, fidgeting slightly.

“Cas, I’m…I’m sorry…” he choked out with difficulty. A tiny, exhausted smile ghosted across Castiel’s face.

“Did Sam tell you to say that…?” Dean chuckled softly and shook his head. Then his expression became one of guilt.

“No, I really am sorry…I pushed you too hard, and I was so angry with you that I didn’t pay any attention to your health and…it wasn’t your fault about Alastair, and…” he trailed off, looking at Castiel uncertainly.

“…I’m sorry” he finished.

He stared down at his lap as if waiting for retribution. When he remained silent, however, Dean glanced back up.

“You’re angry with me, aren’t you…” Castiel shook his head gingerly, trying not to aggravate vicious pounding in his head.

“D-Dn-o-I-iihhh­-iHhh’yySHYYYUUUuuushhh!”

“Bless you” Dean said, voice betraying relief that it wasn’t anger that had been preventing him from talking. He reached across and clumsily helped Castiel blow his nose.

“I’mb dnot adgry with you Deadn…” Castiel muttered, smiling feverishly at him.

“Add you’re dnot…adgry with bme d-dnow?” He broke down into a volley of hoarse coughs. Dean waited the fit out, rubbing his back in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

“No, I’m not” he said when the spasm ceased.

Castiel smiled again, eyelids fluttering slowly shut.

“Good…” he slipped back into sleep. And although he couldn’t see it, Dean returned the smile.

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AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

MAI MAIIIIIIII~~~ QwQ... *rolls around in puddle of happy tears*

You spoil me~~ QwQ... I don't deserve such amazing writing >w<~~~

“Right, and you’re sure about that? ‘Cause I’m not exactly keen to have a repeat of Alistair”.

“I am sure” Castiel affirmed, fixing Dean with a somewhat tired gaze.

GAH~! Poor Castiel~ *^* You portray angry Dean and pitiful Cas so welllll~ <3

Sam hovered for a moment, giving Castiel a slightly uncomfortable glance, before following the elder hunter out of the room.

And Sam being all concerned right away!!! <3 GAH!! *takes pink arrow to chest*

“What happened?”

“Uh, you were sleeping” Sam said, bemusement clear in his voice.

“I don’t sleep”.

“I know, but…you were”.

The angel gazed at Sam as if struggling to grasp the concept of his words.

“Don’t…sleep…” he repeated drowsily.

THIS.. IS... SO ADORABLE~~ Drowsy Cas is the best Cas, and I just love the cute scenario of him being in denial about illness while meanwhile being too groggy to really defend his case <3

“Cas? What the hell are you doin’ passed out on the floor?” Dean’s gruff, angry voice startled him awake. Castiel slowly pushed himself up, swaying on his feet.

“Fell asleep…” he mumbled ashamedly.

The tiredness was still there, sucking all the life out of his limbs. But the strange heat that had surrounded him last night had receded into painful, wracking shivers.

“hhih-iih-ihh’ttsshhYUUuuu!”

Best opening to a new section ever xDD

And its so heart-wrenching that Cas just gave up and slept on the hardwood x'DDD. Poor baby QwQ~

YOU PULLED OUT ALL THE CAS-PITY PIT STOPS, AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT <3

“He looks awful…”

“Not surprising. He’s got one hell of a fever”.

“How did this even happen, anyway?”

Weeeeeeeee!! Concerned brothers are the best brothers >w>

“I thidk bmy vessel is workig idc-corre-hhhh-hhih’ttssHYUUuuu!”

Dean had tissues at the ready as if he was physic, holding a small bundle to the lower part of Castiel’s face.

“Bless you”. The angel snuffled and coughed painfully into the folds, too tired to reach up and take them himself.

Cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cute cuteueucuetuteuahgjghfjdklhgdfjklghajkgh;fg-

“What h-happed-iih’shhCHYUUuuu! hIih’ttsSHYUUUuuuu!”

“Bless y’ again” Dean said, rubbing at Castiel’s nose gently through the tissues.

BE STILL MY HEART.

This is just way, way, way too precious QwQ <3

And Cas's adorable, tickly sneezes!!

Ahhhhh, Mai Mai! I loved this so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Two gifts in a single month, both amazing and re-readable forever~

*huggle of the ages* <3

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This is so beautiful like a masterpiece <3 gosh Castiel is adorable. Jsjainsjsuzhahs seriously can't find fitting words for how amazing this is ! <3 :)

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Oh poor Cas :( I know everyone's said this already but this is an amazing story, very well written. Really liked it a lot. :)

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Ugh! Sorry it took me so long to get round to it, but thank you so much to everyone who commented/read!

BlackScatter - You're welcome!! I'm so glad that you liked it~! ^_^

DeathNoteOwner - Thank you SO much, that's really high praise!! You're the sweetest :D

Kaida Lake - Aww thank you so much! I felt sorta sorry for Cas when I was writing it, but he's adorable, so y'know :bleh:

Vongola Undicesimo - Thank you, I'm glad it made you go aww :P Sick Cas is just so adorable <3

ichixshiro14 - Wow thank you!! :D That's so sweet! I'm happy that you enjoyed it ^_^

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Ugh! Sorry it took me so long to get round to it, but thank you so much to everyone who commented/read!

BlackScatter - You're welcome!! I'm so glad that you liked it~! happy.png

DeathNoteOwner - Thank you SO much, that's really high praise!! You're the sweetest biggrin.png

Kaida Lake - Aww thank you so much! I felt sorta sorry for Cas when I was writing it, but he's adorable, so y'know bleh.gif

Vongola Undicesimo - Thank you, I'm glad it made you go aww tonguesmiley.gif Sick Cas is just so adorable <3

ichixshiro14 - Wow thank you!! biggrin.png That's so sweet! I'm happy that you enjoyed it happy.png

No problem at all :)

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