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Secret Santa for LeapYearKisses


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OK so here is your secret santa gift, and here is a list of apologies:

#1: I am so sorry that this is so late. It's like extra-double late because I said I would have it by Friday and here it is Sunday.

#2: I am sorry that my writing is so bad- you deserve better, especially since you've had to wait for it .

#3: I am sorry that it is so short (see #2), it barely comes to the required 1,000 words.

I will write more things for you and put them in this thread to further apologize for 1-3.

( this is directly after the events of the avengers/slightly au. slightly au here means ‘I ignored all the little details that didn’t fit with my idea’)

"Thor!" He looked around, then spotted Jane running towards him. She looked out of breath; she had barely made it in time. He caught her in his arms,

"Jane! Were you not in the nation of Norway? I would see you safely removed from battle, yet I confess I have thought of you many times."

"Thor!" This time Jane sounded exasperated. "You can't just decide that you want me out of the way. I may not be a soldier, but I am a scientist; I understand risks."

“I did not mean to imply that I thought you incapable of making decisions for yourself, merely that I preferred-” Thor broke off as a cloud began to form above them, reminding him of the task at hand. “We must be brief. Loki is to face justice in Asgard, and my father grows impatient.”

“I actually have to get going as well, there’s an experiment that I’ve been running that needs regular supervision, and a plane that I have to catch to get back to it, but I wasn’t going to let you come back without seeing me, or letting me know that you were here.” Checking her watch, she gestured to Darcy, who handed her a bouquet of flowers. “These are for you; I’ve been reading up on Norse culture, and I thought you might appreciate them.” Thor accepted them, and they stood for a moment, looking at each other, then embraced. Behind them, a curious expression appeared on Loki’s face, and his nose twitched slightly.

Darcy had gotten back into the car, and she beeped at them, yelling, “Jane, there’s like five minutes ‘til our flight.” Jane reluctantly untangled herself and got into the car, and Darcy sped away. Thor was left with the Tesseract device in one hand, and a bouquet of flowers in the other. He turned to face Loki, offering him the other end of the device. Loki took hold of it, inhaling sharply just as Thor twisted the device, sending them through the bifrost.

“-k’shhhh.” Stepping out, he finished the aborted sneeze, and sniffed as quietly as possible. It didn’t help, as he immediately sneezed again, “hetch-choo, hit-chshh.” Although he looked concerned, Thor did not hesitate as he marched Loki across the rainbow bridge. By the time they were halfway across, Loki was a mess. His normally unshakeable compose seemed to be shattered. He had resorted to scrubbing desperately at his reddened nose with the back of his hand.

Thor paused, clearly conflicted, and turned to face him, asking, “Are you alright, brother?” Backing away and putting a finger under his nose failed to prevent Loki from hitting Thor’s face with the spray from a powerful “HEHSH-shoo.” Loki’s nose was beginning to run and he had no way to clean it off. Thor transferred the flowers to the hand that held the tesseract, and withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket, cleaning off his own face, and then Loki’s. He held the handkerchief against his nose and told him, “Blow, brother.” Loki refused, but pitched forward as he sneezed again.

“Brother, we must continue. The court is convened, your sentencing waits upon only you,” Thor told him, and, wearily, he began walking again. Loki could feel his nose become ever more stuffy as they approached the doors, though it continues to run. By the time they reached and passed them, he could no longer breath through it at all, which was a problem because of his gag. He hummed at Thor, waiting for him to understand.

“What ails you, brother?” Thor asked. The use of ‘brother’ was beginning to seem deliberate, as if Thor wished to remind himself or Loki of it for some reason. Loki raised his eyebrows as he pointed to the gag that kept him from breathing through his mouth. Thor understood instantly, having himself been the victim of many colds. He forced the gag open, letting Loki breathe again.

“Those inferdal flowers,” Loki ground out. “They are whadt ‘ails’ mbe, and we are ndot brothers.” He collected himself and strode through the door into the throne room, where Odin sat above an Asgardian court. Thor followed, confused.

“Loki, for your crimes, your sentence is execution. You may not appeal,” Odin intoned. “Guards, remove him from this court to a cell where he may await his fate.”

“Please, don’dt do this, father!” Loki interrupted, pausing for a moment and sneezing, “hatch’shoo.

“Where is the gag? He was to be gagged!” Odin took this opportunity to growl.

Within the hour, Loki had the court eating out of his hand, his sentence commuted from execution to mere imprisonment. He could have gotten a shorter sentence, but he had his reasons for leaving it be. Not for nothing was he known as ‘Silvertongue’


A girl appeared alongside Darcy as she walked along the street, carrying a bag of pastries from a nearby bakery. He was slight and dark haired, but it would have taken a remarkably observant person to notice the similarities between his appearance and Loki’s. Carrying a large floral bouquet and a book under one arm, he sneezed forcefully into the other, "heh-kshhhh, hehksh."

Darcy turned to look at him, amused. "D'you want a tissue?"

"N-kshhh-No, but I would ask if you would -heh-kshoo-accept these flowers. My girlfriend bought them for me, and," here he shrugged, as if to say, 'what can you do,' sneezed again, and continued,"It turns out I'm allergic." He sniffed. "Highly allergic." Darcy accepted the flowers, and he handed her the book as well. "This sort of goes along with them; it's a book about how they used to use flowers to communicate their feelings in older cultures like... heh-chooo… Elizabethan England and other European countries: France, Germany, hitchoo...Finland, Norway.”

Even Earlier-

As the truck hurtled away from Shield’s base, it’s passengers were long gone, tumbled out into a field to avoid being tracked along with the vehicle. Clint Barton had just removed a gps device from the base of his skull when behind him he heard what was unmistakably a soft sneeze. He turned. Loki looked bemused, and, underneath that, slightly afraid. “What is the cause of...hit’shhhoo...of this?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing much. Looks like just allergies. Not dangerous, just some sneezing and a stuffy nose, maybe.”

“I see. Allergies. Interesting. YESH-SHHH… but unpleasant.”

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Ahhh! :o It's Loki! I'm so happy! I love how you made it all part of his plan; then I get to enjoy the helplessness and also his clever machinations! I like when you've set it, too. Loki sneezing with the gag on? :blush: You've hit on a bunch of my likes, even in such a short space (and the length is fine! Shirt and sweet. :)). Thank you! I don't mind that it's late; life happens. I've been in a couple of Secret Santas where my Santa just didn't complete anything for me, so if anything, I'm really grateful that you soldiered through it! :D


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