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The Fairy and the Crocodile (F and ultra messy)


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Once upon a time, in woodland ruled by fairies belonging to the Court of Sunny Dawn Frolic, there was a sudden and mysterious disappearance of many woodland creature, whom the fairies considered fond neighbors. The noble Fairy Queen, Erenn, assigned a plucky young sprite with great magical potential named Gingersnap to investigate. Gingersnap was a bouncy and spry little thing, with dragonfly-like wings protruding from the open back of her bright green short dress. Her full, round face and array of freckles made her look even younger than she was, and her eagerness to set herself apart from the other fae was plainly displayed in her bright red curly afro.

She set about her task by interrogating each and every animal she came across as to the nature of the disappearances. All of them insisted that they knew nothing relevant to the mystery, and hurried off to pressing business of one kind or another. Not until she asked the opinion of a crocodile who had only recently moved into a river that ran through the woods did she gain any leads; the crocodile stated that it had in fact seen the culprit abduct the animals on a recent night. However, it would not part with information freely, as it feared greatly for its safety. Eager to get to the bottom of the mystery, Gingersnap promised the crocodile her Court would grant it a wish if his information lead to the arrest of the perpetrator.

With this, the crocodile stated that it had seen members of the Court of Silver Dusk Bounty, the ruling fae of a neighboring marsh, kidnapping unsuspecting animals in the night when the local fae were sleeping. It guessed that they were using these animals in some kind of black magic ritual, as fae of that particular Court were known to do. Gingersnap was shocked and horrified, and almost ran off straight away to inform her queen, but the crocodile bid her wait to gather additional evidence. It suggested they work together to set a trap and catch the evil Dusk fae in the act. They could make numerous false trails of animal tracks starting near the border of the forest and leading right into a clearing where they would pounce on anyone following them late at night, when most animals would be asleep and easy to capture.

Gingersnap quickly agreed, admiring the crocodile’s cleverness, and later that very night laid an ambush on a Dusk fairy sneaking around the forest. She was a very lithe fairy with messy blue hair, a form-fitting black one-piece tunic, and angular features Gingersnap found profoundly unattractive, particularly her long hawkish nose. The Dusk fairy would not admit to having committed any crimes and insisted she had come to meet a swallow that had sent her a message requesting her help, gotten lost, and proceeded to follow the tracks hoping it would find a creature that could direct her.

Of course, Gingersnap did not believe this for an instant, and brought her prisoner before Queen Erenn with pride. The Queen was furious to learn of this covert assault on her kingdom, though she was reluctant to launch an outright attack on another kingdom. It was then that the crocodile suggested that perhaps a more subtle approach would be appropriate for delivering justice to the rogue Court. The crocodile remarked how easy it was for fae to get sick, and how unreliable their magic became when they were ill. He laid out a malign scheme in which they would enchant their captured fairy into a deep slumber, then infect her with a powerful and contagious illness. After that they’d return her to her kingdom as if they’d found her asleep that way, making sure to deliver her directly into the heart of her Court. The other fae would not find that she was ill until it was too late, at which point the disease would’ve likely spread to much of the Court, because of how easily infected fae are. This would make it a simple task for Queen Erenn and her knights to sweep into the Court and demand any recompense they desired, which they would undoubtedly receive given the weakened nature of the nefarious rival court.

The Queen was initially unsure of this plan, as it seemed to entail a dishonorable form of trickery, but Gingersnap delighted in the idea, and even volunteered to procure the necessary illness for infecting the Dusk fae, and finally the Queen was swayed. The crocodile lead Gingersnap back to the scummiest side-pool of the river that he knew, where he would keep her company as she sat in the cold and filthy water overnight, awaiting infection.

They began at dawn, and before even an hour had passed the little fairy was shivering uncontrollably, the wide nostrils of her little round nose constantly working to sniff back a running stream. Occasionally she’d attempt to wipe her nose on her arms, but they were now wet and dirty from the water and this would only smear slime and mucous across her face. Eventually she relegated herself to constantly sniffling, ignoring when her nose when run down past her lips.

It wasn’t long before a tickle started to creep up the back of her throat and into her nose, and then the sneezes began to come. They were short, snotty bursts at first, quick and explosive and never in groups smaller than three. The tickle would spike without warning and expand to cover what felt like her entire respiratory system, then recede almost to nothing after the sneezes were done, only to return later with the same enormous force. Gingersnap would punctuate her little fits with long snorts, as they loosened up as much congestion in her nose as they released. Though much of the runnyness clinging to her nose and mouth was flung off with the powerful sneezes, it was soon replaced as her nose continued to run quickly and thickly down her face.

Gingersnap’s whole body felt like ice at this point; her skin had gained an unhealthy pallor, and her little nose flushed bright pink from the cold. She decided to sit up on the bank and keep only her feet in the water. She shook even more fervently than before now, and combined with the frequent sneezing could barely keep herself sitting upright. When her sneezes became even stronger, she decided to lie down on the ground. The crocodile circled around here, forming a protective wall in case they both fell asleep and any would-be predators approached.

As the hours dragged on Gingersnap’s sneezing became more throaty and thick with congestion. No longer as fast but just as ferocious, they had long buildups that never completely stopped, leaving her eyes watering and half-open and her mouth agape as her nose ran over it. She would remain in this state, panting with anticipation, as the tickle in her nose would slowly grow over agonizing seconds, sometimes minutes, before finally being thrown into a body-bending series of loud, blubbering sneezes. Only during these would there be any relief, as the tickle would start to build back up again as soon as they were done. Despite the fact that she didn’t wipe at her nose at all, the sheer volume and intensity of her sneezes was turning her nose a progressively brighter and shinier red.

Still, the loyal little fairy endured it, knowing her suffering would serve a greater purpose. Eventually, after hours and hours of shivering and sneezing Gingersnap curled up and collapsed on the riverbed shore, still shaking in her sleep and flushed from head to toe with fever. When she awoke, the entire lower-half of her face was encrusted with dried runoff from her nose, and a still-moist film was layered on top of that. She rose and awoke the crocodile, and with a hoarse and stuffy voice managed to communicate that he must take her back to her court straight away.

Once there, the way cleared before them by the crocodile so no other fairy would be infected, they approached the captured Dusk fairy, who had been enchanted with a powerful sleeping spell. Gingersnap, shaking with cold and fever and the force of her sneezes, approached the captured fairy and took a deep, gurgling breath through her nostrils. Merely breathing through them agitated them so much that she immediately began sneezing crazily all over the Dusk fairy. Clouds of spray escorting long drops of snot flew from Gingersnap’s nose and mouth for some time before she finally began to lose steam. Still snuffling and letting out the occasional sneeze, she then leaned in closer to the sleeping prisoner’s face and moved a mucousy mouth and streaming nose over hers in imitation of a kiss, but blew her nose onto her instead. She leaned back, a long ropy trail of slime extending from her nose and lips to those of her victim, and smiled evilly. Then, she promptly collapsed, her strength finally giving out against the terrible cold she suffered from.

Though unconscious, the dusk fairy’s nose already started to grow moist, and several fairy knights wearing protective masks flew her off to her court’s domain. Gingersnap had to wait for her condition to improve in complete solitude for fear of conation, and spent over a month secluded in a spare room of the castle sniffling and sneezing all day and night, rubbing her poor raw nose even rawer and shaking and sweating in fever. This was still a better fate than the Dusk fae court suffered, for not only did the infection run rampant over them but, incubating in such a high number of fae, it evolved into an even worse disease that the court never could recover from. So weakened by this were the Dusk fae that Queen Erenn did eventually begin a slow campaign of conquering their territory, seeking their eventual banishment from their own kingdom as justice for the animals they were supposed to have abducted.

And what of the crocodile who masterminded the whole affair? Well, it received its wish, though it required much of the fae’s magical resources to grant it. The crocodile shed its bestial skin and became a human knight of the Court of Sunny Dawn Frolic, bearing its emblem upon his scaly armor and keeping none of its former reptilian appearances save a strangely snout-like nose and an enormous and sharp grin.

This is not the last tale in the mystical world of dungeons and dragons concerning the clever beast; indeed, its schemes had only just begun.

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The plot thickens.

I sincerely hope this leads into something epic, and knowing you it most certainly will. The only question now is of how long we'll have to wait to see it. It's been too long since I read a nice fantasy story of impressive proportions, least of all one rife with sneezing.

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Everyone knows crocodiles are evil. "Oh hey you wanna come have a nice sit on my back? Look, it's a mossy log. Just floating. Come on, have a s- OMNOMNOMNOM NOM! *THRASH GNAW*"

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  • 2 years later...
On 1/16/2014 at 8:14 AM, Kshu said:

This was wonderful, really read like a fairy tale!

Its so good! I would read this to children if it didn't...you know.

Also are there any plans to continue?

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