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In Which zneeze Projects His Care-Taking Desires into a Coldfic (WRITE YOUR OWN ENDING! :D)


zneeze

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Yo yo yo, forum. I started writing this many moons ago, but finally decided to revisit it this afternoon. Basically, I'm Evan and Marianne is a female friend of mine I'd like to take care of, but it's not very autobiographical beyond that. tonguesmiley.gif Like many fics, there is no sneezing in the first part, but I'm particularly proud of my expo in this part, which does include fetish discussion. And ummmm that's it for now! Part 2 will be up incredibly soon, too. Enjoy!

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I finally tore my eyes away from the computer screen. The file I was working on wasn’t blank, but it wasn’t very good, either. I had to think of some better ideas for a lead, a few more fluff sentences after the first quote, a new conclusion – basically, I had to fix my entire story. But first, I had to give myself a break.

My break was going to be for the rest of the night, because I had made plans to see my college friend Marianne. Since I was still new in town, Marianne insisted she give me a tour of Cincinnati as soon as we could meet up. She’s lived here her whole life, except for our four years at Crawford College up in Dayton.

Grabbing my knockoff North Face jacket and dress shoes, I bade goodnight to my article and powered down my laptop. My assignment wasn’t due till tomorrow at noon, anyway. I’d have time Saturday morning before sending it in.

Four flights of stairs later (I didn’t trust our elevator), I met the 5th Street sidewalk and took in the surrounding lit-up buildings. I’d always loved cities, but as far as what I’d seen in my short Ohioan life, Cincy took the cake. I’d been to Cleveland and Columbus too many times, and I didn’t care to go back if I could help it. But the past ten days I’d spent in Cincinnati were like a dream. It’s a gorgeous city. I’d already walked down to the riverfront once, but Marianne thought she was taking me there for the first time tonight, so I would pretend to be surprised.

It was a mere five blocks east and one south to get to Marianne’s building, so I wanted to walk. I had the time, and I loved the rising chill of autumn against my face. I was halfway to her building when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Marianne was calling me.

I accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Hey Evan! I’b so, so sorry about this, but I have to cadcel our plands. I was really sick when I woke up and I thought I could get better by todight, but I just feel worse.”

My pulse had quickened at her third word. She was sick – and I could tell what she had caught without her elaborating. Or could I? On second thought, what seemed like unmistakable stuffy-nose speech might have just been a muffled, distorted sound from the phone – you know how it is – or my imagination, or both.

“Aww, you’re sick? With what?”

“A really bad cold. It sucks. I’b sorry.”

“Well – well that does suck, yes, I’m sorry you don’t feel well! Is there anything I can get you?”

“Oh – um, actually I just ran out of tissues…” I could practically hear her blush through the phone.

“I’m halfway to your building right now and I see a convenience store from here. I can pick some up for you!” I told her.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! It’s no trouble at all, I’m already out and I still want to see you!” I winced at myself for adding that last part, hoping she wouldn’t get suspicious of me.

“Thad would be great. Thagk you so, so buch, Evan!” Why should she be suspicious? “I’ll leave the front door unlocked for you!”

“Alright, thanks Marianne! See you soon!”

“No, thank you! Bye!”

Ending the call, I had to stop in the sidewalk and just marvel at myself for a while. Marianne had a cold. I got to see her and spend at least a little time with her. And I’m the only one in the world that would consider myself a lucky, lucky man for this.

I’d secretly had an affinity for girls with colds since high school, when one day a cheerleader with a small nose and a big sneeze tore through fifteen tissues in the first half hour of study hall. I was never into cheerleaders, but I couldn’t stop myself from offering my pack of tissues when she ran out. She needed all of my pack, too. I’d been hooked ever since.

How much do I love the idea of taking care of a girl with a cold? In my four years at Crawford, I only had one girlfriend, Kerry. Cute as a button. Very sneezy, day-to-day. (My favorite.) Whenever she caught a cold, though, she wouldn’t let me come near her dorm, let alone see her. She never went to class sick, and she’d make sure to take an extra day off in order to return to the public eye looking healthier than ever. This would all be one thing, completely understandable for a normal person like Kerry. But she was the only one who I ever told about my fetish. I confided in her. She knew how much I wanted to take care of her on a reliable-boyfriend level, even more so than on a sexual-fulfillment level. So I took it personally. The whole thing eventually contributed to a messy breakup.

I entered the corner store, heading straight for where the tissues were. I’d never been inside the place before, but I have a natural instinct for where the tissues will be stocked. I’m weird like that.

I grabbed two pink boxes, knowing it was Marianne’s favorite color. What if she needs something else and didn’t tell me? I thought. So I picked up some cough syrup, a box of tea bags (green), honey, and Alka-Seltzer Plus. Worst case scenario, she doesn’t need any of this, and I keep it for my own use.

In addition to my fetish, I also really wanted to help her out because Marianne was always a gem of a friend to me. We had a good group of friends, some guys and some girls, but Marianne was always one of my closest. We both majored in communication. I focused in journalism while she went for PR, but we had a lot of the same classes. We both love Vampire Weekend and went to two of their concerts together with our other friends. We both had divorced parents. We’ve really always seen each other as kindred spirits.

Here’s where it gets tricky. I’ve always found Marianne extremely good-looking. As a matter of fact, Kerry did, too, and she and I once had a week-long fight because she thought I was spending too much time with Marianne. (I made sure none of my friends, especially Marianne, knew about that fight.) Kerry wasn’t part of my group of friends at Crawford and easily got jealous, so I sort of understood. But the sad truth was, I’d always been closer with Marianne than I ever was with my ex. Kerry and I never clicked on the same level.

But I’ve never gotten any indication that Marianne ever saw me as more than just the brother she never had. While I’m flattered to even have that kind of relationship with her, I can’t help feeling a twinge of disappointment when pondering it.

I arrived at Marianne’s apartment building, slightly smaller and not much newer than my own. I knew it would be an interesting but worthwhile journey, and so I pressed on.

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Yes!!!!!!!!! My favorite elements!! Colds....a guy....and the guy being the care taker!!!

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Oh my lord. You are a very talented writer. I love how this is from the male's point of view. I recently tried that with a fic I wrote. I already feel a connection with Evan and how he's trapped being the lovable brother friend instead of a boyfriend interest--even though I'm female, I understand how he feels. I am currently writing a story and that's how the relationship is between the main male and female characters. Very well written, can't wait for more!

And I usually don't like female sneezing, but this is one of those rare exceptions, you're a great writer.

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@artygirl22 Thanks! I'm glad I'm featuring all your favorite elements! smile.png

@Little_sniffle Thank you kindly!

@Kshu Thanks! You won't have to wait very long for Part 2!

@flowerpower67 I'm flattered! Thank you so much! As for your connection with Evan, yeah, I know that feel too. Haha wink.png

@Lyndsiii Thank you! More is on its way within the next several hours!

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I opened the door left unlocked for me. Nobody was in the front room, so I figured Marianne was in bed. It was a modest apartment. The front room had a small kitchenette, one closet, one door leading to a bathroom, and another at the end of a short hall that I assumed was to the bedroom.

This door was cracked open, and through this crack I saw Marianne for the first time in four months. I thought she could have been suffocating under all her bedcovers, but she seemed comfortable, oddly at ease. Her eyes, her tantalizing hazel eyes, were wide open. Had she been sleeping in that position under the covers and heard me enter?

“Hi, Evan.” Not pathetic, but definitely a whimper dressed up in her happiness to see me.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, no, I haved’t beend able to sleep all day.”

I came closer. “Hi, Marianne,” I whispered, trying to sound excited and gentle at the same time.

“You don’t have to whisper!” she whispered back. “What’s all that?”

I put my convenience store plastic bag down. “Tissues and more!”

“More?”

“Have you been coughing?” I showed her the bottle of cough syrup.

“Not much, bostly just sdeezing and blowig by nose. I have a fever too.”

My heart bounced when she said “sdeezing.” “You poor thing!”

I emptied the bag and gave Marianne the Alka Seltzer to take. As she did, I opened one of the tissue boxes and put it on the night table next to her bed. She took the first tissue from the box as soon as she could and gave her slender nose a good blow.

“Ugh, sorry,” she half-chuckled.

“Don’t sweat it, Mer,” I smiled back. Worried she’d want me to leave now, I changed the subject to Vampire Weekend’s lead singer, who we both loved. “Do you follow Ezra Koenig on Twitter?”

After distracting her with that, I was able to catch up with Marianne about our summers, how our families were, which Crawford friends we’d heard from recently, et cetera. I did more listening than talking. All I’d known going in was that Marianne had gotten an entry-level job at a small PR firm and moved out of her dad’s home to this apartment downtown. Like my humble abode, it wasn’t much.

“It’s a decent start,” Marianne was telling me. “They have be doig a lot of copy editig and bookkeepig. The boring crap,” she joked, and we chuckled. But before she could go on, her eyes squeezed shut, wrinkling the bridge of her nose in the process. All it took was one inhalation of a build-up, and then:

“Uhhshhoo! Excuse me!”

She was so quick to excuse herself, she said it before I could say, “God bless you!”

“Thagk you.” She reached for a new tissue and blew her nose. “I’b sorry I’b so disgsutig, you know you dod’t have to stay with be.”

“I know! I want to stay! We had a date, didn’t we?” Mentally I cringed at my word choice. “Besides, you need someone to take care of you,” I said in an attempted save, which sounded worse, really. “I mean – you don’t need someone to take care of you. You’ve been taking care of yourself all day, after –

“HAchooo!”

I blinked. “Bless you.”

She took a tissue to her nostrils, but only to wipe them. “Come on, you can see I’ve been doing a shitty job of taking care of myself. I didn’t have any of this stuff you brought me, and I could really use it. I cad’t thagk you edough.”

Her smile warmed me, and her little speech assured me I wasn’t coming off as some kind of a chauvinist. I was also grateful for her sneeze, not just because it was beautiful but also because it shut up my blabbering.

Marianne’s smile dissipated. “Gonna sdeeze agaid.”

She said this simply and without so much as a single hitch of the breath, so I imagined her nose itched enough to be irreversible, but not yet at a sneeze-ready level. I dropped silent in anticipation, unable to look away from her. Marianne’s build-up was still a single, albeit long, breath. But it was no disappointment.

“Huh-shoo! Ahchooo!”

“God bless you, twice!” I offered. I admired how her straight, walnut-brown hair pitched forward into her face from her sneezes. She pushed it back as she thanked me.

After a few more minutes of chatting, I offered to make her some of the tea I’d brought. I nearly tripped over myself retreating to the kitchen. Was I really fulfilling my biggest fantasy with my best friend? Do I really have to view Marianne in a sexual manner right now?

I pondered this while preparing Marianne’s tea. When mixing in the honey, I faintly heard an “Uh-sheww!” from the bedroom.

“Damn it,” I found myself saying. I’m missing it. I’m missing it.

Missing it? What the hell is wrong with me? I’m seriously cursing myself for not being in the room when she sneezes?

In my frustration I dropped the bottle of honey into Marianne’s mug and splashed my face with hot tea. Served me right.

I crept back in her room, keeping the tea steady. “God bless you,” I said. Am I blessing her too late? Does she think it’s creepy I heard –

“Hehe, thanks,” Marianne giggled. Giggled.

After she took the tea, I pulled my chair back up, but she said, “Oh, you can sit on the bed, it’s no big deal.” She very casually swatted away a used tissue off her leg while saying this.

“Ah – no, that’s okay.”

“Please?”

My next breath was heavy, wavering. Finally: “Okayyy,” I smiled teasingly.

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Weird cutoff point, amirite? It'll take me longer to put up Part 3, partly because I have another, altogether different idea for a sneezefic I want to start, and also partly because my schoolwork is starting up again. Look out for Part 3, plus Part 1 of my other, upcoming fic, soon-ish! Hope you enjoyed this part as well! teehee.gif

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Don't take this in a weird way, but I'm seriously fangirling over your story!! It's so adorable and cute! I really enjoy reading your work! It's nice to meet another passionate writer and a sneeze fetishist.

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She said this simply and without so much as a single hitch of the breath, so I imagined her nose itched enough to be irreversible, but not yet at a sneeze-ready level. I dropped silent in anticipation, unable to look away from her. Marianne’s build-up was still a single, albeit long, breath. But it was no disappointment.

“Huh-shoo! Ahchooo!”

Love how you capture the build-up of anticipation in this part. Great work, and more to come! I'll be keeping a close eye on developments... :D

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Previously, on In Which zneeze Projects His Caretaking Desires into a Coldfic:

After she took the tea, I pulled my chair back up, but she said, “Oh, you can sit on the bed, it’s no big deal.” She very casually swatted away a used tissue off her leg while saying this.

“Ah – no, that’s okay.”

“Please?”

My next breath was heavy, wavering. Finally: “Okayyy,” I smiled teasingly.

I lowered myself down to the level of the bed and sat next to Marianne’s leg, right by where that tissue had been. I looked my friend over. She sniffled as she smiled at me. Her nose had taken on a lovely shade of pink.

“Your nose is your favorite color right now!”

This made her cheeks match it. “Aww, well…”

An awkward silence. I knew what I had to ask next, though.

“Have you been seeing anyone, Mer?”

“Nope! Have you?”

“Nahh.”

“Nobody since Kerry, huh? *sniff* heh-choo!

I felt myself blush. “God bless you, and nope, no one.”

“You’re happy beig siggle?”

“I mean, it’s alright,” I laughed.

“I don’t see why adyone wouldn’t wadt to be with you, Evad. You’re tall, handsome, sweet, polite, taletted, and fuddy…”

“I’m only maybe three of those things… You think I’m handsome?”

She shut her eyes in a quick pause. “I think you’re pretty hot.”

There was only a certain, narrow path I was able to take from that point. First of all, I couldn’t believe my own ears. After letting her lure me down onto the bed with her, she says she thought I was hot – “pretty hot” – this whole time. She waited now, eyes still closed but not squeezed shut, with an expression I couldn’t guess at. Anticipation? Embarrassment?

“Huh-CHEW!”

A sneeze.

Skipping the bless-you for the first time (so much for “polite”), I leaned in and kissed her boiling forehead. “Marianne, I’ve always found you beautiful. I was always closer to you than any of our other friends, even closer to you than to Kerry. You’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to screw anything up –

“It’s dot screwig anythig up,” Marianne cut in, opening her gorgeous eyes. “I’ve always believed couples have to be best friends, and have to be best friends first. And we cad have each other dow. But why ab I briggig it up dow, whed I’b sick –

“Honey, blow your nose. It sounds like you need it.” I handed her a tissue. She didn’t move for it. So I brought it up to her nose. Immediately, she blew.

I blinked. I knew now. I knew she knew.

“I’ve always wanted to be takend care of like this,” said Marianne. “I didn’t know if you’d bite, but I had a good hunch. I know you’re really into this, Evv. I think it’s so robantic how buch you care, and you’re really good at takig care of be.” She smiled.

I smiled back, but still had questions. “Did you plan to get sick today?”

“Dot at all. I woke up with this, and it still sucks to be sick, but I’b enjoyig this part!”

“And – and you knew because I…” I tried to think of when I might have given it away at Crawford.

“Oh, you cupplaid to us every tibe Kerry got sick! You wanted to be with her, add you’d always tell be and Devid about it. I could coddect the dots.”

I had to kiss her again before anything else happened, and I chose her lips this time. I was quick to move in, but slow once I arrived.

“You don’t think it’s weird I like this stuff? How it’s all intertwined, between friendship and romance and… sexuality?”

“Lots of stuff are both romantic and arousing,” Marianne replied.

This time she kissed me. Marianne kissing me felt worlds different than me kissing Marianne. Her lips hit mine, held mine in place, then played with them at her will. Suddenly she stopped, and I was disappointed until she said, “I ha-have to sneeze, Evan.”

“Go ahead.”

“Hahh… Hah-HAHCHOO!”

I heard her hesitation to go through with it, but it didn’t matter once her spray covered my face. I licked my lips and kissed her nose for the first time.

“Bless you.”

I’m pretty good at waking up without an alarm, when need be. When you have unexpected sex with someone at night, nobody thinks about setting an alarm clock, especially on a Friday night. I woke up with Marianne still in my arms, soundly sleeping, slightly snoring. The clock was in my line of sight: 10:05 a.m.

My article was due at noon. It was currently in my laptop, on my desk, in my apartment, several blocks away from my sick Marianne and her warm, snuggly body.

There was no choice. I rolled out of bed and started to put myself back together. I desperately wished I had told Marianne more about my new job last night. She only knew the basics: I was starting to get my first professional bylines covering minor arts and cultural events for a small new weekly magazine, the Cincy Citizen. She would understand my leaving if she knew I had a deadline in less than two hours and major work still to be done on it.

Hoping she wouldn’t think I was running out on her, I scribbled a note:

“Mer – meant to say last night, I have a deadline today at 12. Need to go finish article. I’ll tell you all bout it when I come back. :-)”

There were two more words I wanted to add, but on second thought, they were words I ought to say out loud first.

I left the note on her night table under the Alka Seltzer Plus. I kissed Marianne on the forehead (still boiling) and whispered, “Love you.” Then, as to not wake her, I quietly crept out of the room and out of her apartment.

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;_; *sniffs* this was so beautiful...i want a guy like that...holds tissues to ur nose. Still finds u attractive even when u start sneezing and such...actually goes out of his way to make u feel better.

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How am I not following this topic?! That was so adorable. I hope one day I find a guy as caring ad Evan. Though I don't get sick often, it's nice to know that my significant other will still want to see me even when I'm not up for company. Very nice part!

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I *love* this! So much! I'm just getting over a rotten cold and this is exactly what I was in the mood to read :D I can't wait for the next part d

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Don't you hate when life gets in the way? :/ Sorry I'm just now returning! School and other responsibilities got really heavy really fast, and I just wrote this part today. Part 5 will be up much more swiftly, I promise!

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There was no way this was going in my clip journal. When I could finally move on to bigger and better places than the Cincy Citizen, I wouldn’t be attaching this article to my resume. It was a tough sell in the first place – a local veterinarian’s new parrot food? People love animals, sure, and even talking animals, but this was the dumbest assignment I’d ever had.

That was far from the only reason I was doing a shoddy job finishing it up. My mind kept racing back through the previous night’s events, everything that culminated with me sleeping with Marianne. Hearing Marianne’s stuffy voice on that first phone call, buying her tissues and medicine, making her tea, catching up and talking about our lives like old times, and then – sex. Looking back made it feel so abrupt, incongruous. Like it shouldn’t have happened. Had I wanted it to happen? It fulfilled my deepest fantasy, however twisted it seemed. But she clearly wanted it to happen too. Marianne had known about my fetish, and for how long? But would we have slept together without that catalyst?

I triple-checked my finished product before sending it in to my editor, because I knew I was barely focusing, so I was paranoid I’d screw up something major. Two weeks into my first big-boy job, I was worried about being fired.

Done? Done. I clicked ‘Send’ in my email and hurried to grab my things. I wanted to get back to Marianne’s place as fast as I could. Maybe she hadn’t woken up yet. Even if she had, she would’ve read my note that explained why I had left.

This was no time to walk, like yesterday; I hailed the first cab I saw. Cincinnati’s were expensive, but there was no time I needed a cab more.

Soon enough, I found myself racing up the stairs to Marianne’s apartment, opening her door I’d previously left unlocked that morning. I heard her in the midst of a coughing fit right when I walked in.

“Marianne?” I called. “Mer, I’m back.”

I peeked into her bedroom, where she was still in bed and still recovering from what sounded like an awful coughing fit. I raced in. “I’m sorry I had to leave, I had a deadline at noon, just a couple minutes ago and I was –”

“Hey, hey, it’s OK Evan,” Marianne said. “I read your note, silly. I’m so sorry I never asked you about your new job last night! Like, I feel so selfish that I didn’t.”

“Hey, that’s not your fault,” I said, sitting on the bed by her feet. “I think I just kept asking you so many questions, you didn’t have the chance.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Are you sure you didn’t hate me for a minute when you woke up alone?”

“Well, I never said that!” said Mer, cocking her eyebrow. “I woke up at like 10:30, and for maybe a minute thought you left me, but then I saw your note right away.”

“So you did doubt me for a minute there?” I mimicked her eyebrow’s angle and smiled.

“Not that seriously.”

I noticed she sounded a lot less congested. “Besides that cough of yours, how are you feeling today?”

“Oh, that Alka-Seltzer really helped my nose. I’m not sneezing or blowing my nose anymore, it’s just my throat that’s killing me.”

My heart sank. Sure, selfishly, but it sank.

“Aww, do you have lozenges? And where’s the cough syrup?” I grabbed it.

“I don’t have lozenges,” she said as we gathered the medicine. “But tell me about your job!”

“Well, the article I just had due was the stupidest thing, it was about some lady who created a new food for parrots. Boring stuff.”

“Aww, I like parrots though!” said Marianne.

“And my next assignment is about a cultural fair at Xavier next week, which might be a microscopic bit better. But I’m just getting my feet wet right now.”

For another ten minutes, we talked again, like nothing had happened between us, until…

“Heh-ashoo! Huh-schoo!”

“Bless you, bless you!”

She blushed. But instead of “Thanks,” she paused and asked, “What did last night mean to you?”

As soon as she asked that, I felt uncomfortable sitting on the bed, or anywhere, and I stood. “I don’t know… I’ve loved taking care of you, and you know, it’s turned me on too, but knowing you wanted me too put it at another level. You know?”

She smiled and nodded. “I’d only wanted you since you and Kerry broke up, to be hodest. That was when I started thinking of you bore robantically. Hold on, I have to get a tissue…”

I picked up the box from the floor to her level. She grabbed one and blew her nose, far more capable of doing so than last night when she tricked me into helping her blow. Not that I’d minded.

“So what are we?” I asked bluntly.

“I dod’t know…” She looked into my eyes. It was up to me.

“Well…” I tried to think of something not awkward to say. “We did have a friend-date scheduled yesterday that we have to make up. Let’s see if we can reschedule for some time next week? And maybe have it be a… more-than-friends date.”

“I like that idea.”

I did too.

When I was out of her bedroom making her tea this time, she sneezed again, like last night. She tried to stifle for a change and only managed to partially do so, with a cute result that sounded like, “Heh-mmphyoo!”

I didn’t say “Damn it” to myself this time. There were no secrets now, and surprisingly little awkwardness. “God bless you, hon!” I called out to her.

This sort of freedom felt different. Mer was only the second person to know about my fetish. I was liberated. And we were practically boyfriend and girlfriend at this point. Maybe this was just what I needed. All I knew was that in that moment, I couldn't have been happier.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello all. Sorry for not posting here in a month. Due to my RL commitments piling up, my interest in two other SFF writing projects (one very big one and one one-shot), and my decline in interest in Evan and Marianne, I have decided I will not write a final part to this fic. BUT, I had an idea earlier today, to be different instead of letting a nearly-complete fic die. I want to see how you guys would continue this story! If you'd like to and if you get the inspiration, go ahead and write the last part of this story! biggrin.png I'd really like to see how others would write my characters, and then this way the story can get a proper ending - or endings! Don't be discouraged if you see someone else post their own ending. You post yours too!

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