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Patient Zero (SPN RPF)


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“Sorry, I kndow that mby voice soundds, uh, soundds a lot deeper,” Jared says from the stage once their introductions are finished, sitting in an armchair next to his best friend in front of hundreds of fans. “I mbean, you’re working londg hours, you’re travelindg a lot…”

“He’s been pretty sick for a few days,” Jensen finishes, getting straight to the point, and the crowd sympathetically coos in response. “Or at least he says that he has.” He puts his hand up to the side of his mouth and says in a mock-whisper, “I think he’s just being whiny.”

Jared laughs and pushes his hair from his face in preparation to speak. “Yeah, ndo, it’s really ndot too bad. Just dond’t standd too close to mbe. I’ll try ndot to breathe ond andybody durindg the photo ops.”

From somewhere in the back, a fan shouts “WE LOVE YOU JARED!” and so he goes along with it, standing up and encouraging them.

“Yeah! Alright!” he approves enthusiastically, but he sits back down rather quickly and clears his throat. Jared’s the type of person that’s practically pouring energy; it takes a lot for him to be forced to take it easy like this – and sometimes he forgets. “I usually shake these thindgs ind a couple of days, but this cold’s just beend handgindg ond, for sombe reasond.”

“It’s like looking into my future,” Jensen adds. “We share a car, we share a set; you spend so much time with someone and you’re bound to catch a bug off of them.”

Huh’NN’ktchhuh! Hp’KSSHEW!” Jared sneezes into his shoulder and away from the microphone, almost on cue, and is rewarded by a myriad of blessings from the crowd. “TchhISHHh! Ahh. Sniff! Sorry. Jeez. I’ll probably be doing that a lot, too, so I should probably… apologize in advandce.”

“He hasn’t stopped since, like, Wednesday,” Jensen informs the audience.

“It’s pretty mbiserable,” Jared says lightly, not sounding miserable at all – minus the actual state of his voice. “Andyway, enough about mby bidily fundctionds; I’mb sure y’all have a lot of questionds.” He pauses, clearing his throat and scanning the crowd. “How about you, all the way to the left…”


“Hey man, how you feeling?” Jensen pops into Jared’s hotel room with a ceramic bowl of gourmet vegetable soup, courtesy of room service. They were originally scheduled to do photo ops directly after the panel, but Felecia had volunteered to bump hers up and rearrange the schedule to give Jared a break.

Jared’s propped up against the headboard of his own bed, cold meds sprawled across his nightstand. “Like Samb had to do the trials all over againd,” he answers, his tone humorously melodramatic. Their panel had gone less than smoothly, with Jared having to put down his microphone to sneeze every couple minutes, the beginning of each small fit uselessly half-stifled until the crowd would (infallibly) erupt with blessings. The whole ordeal was exhausting, and Jensen could tell that Jared was starting to get worse.

“Hey, you got mbe soup? You didnd’t have to do that.”

“Uh-huh, sure I didn’t.” Jensen slides a few bottles of DayQuil and NyQuil and WhateverElseQuil to the side to make room for the bowl and then sets it down gingerly.

Jared blows his nose, picks up the bowl and takes a bite. “This roomb is infested,” he warns. “You really dond’t have to stay.”

“What, and leave you all alone during the break that I organized for you? Besides, it’s too late for me. The second reason I’m here is to steal some of your cough drops.”

“Aw, jeez, really? Mband, I’mb sorry—”

“Not your fault,” Jensen dismisses quickly. He rummages through Jared’s supplies until he finds the Ricola bag and holds it up. “You mind sharing?”

“By all mbeands,” Jared says, permissively holding out his palms. Following, he lifts one to his face. “Uht’ChSHHhew! CHhSHHUH!

“You still going at it?”

“Ugh.” Well that answers that. Jared grabs a tissue and blows his nose again, frowning as he balls it up and tosses it into the hotel room’s tiny plastic trashcan. “I really dond’t wandt andyonde else to catch this off mbe. I dond’t thindk I’ve ever beend this sick at a condventiond before.”

Jensen’s phone buzzes, alerting them that Clif’s on his way to escort them down to the signing tables. He stuffs a few more medicated hard candies into his pocket and pats Jared on the back as he makes his way from the bed to the bathroom, smoothing out his hair and slapping some color into his cheeks.

“If you need to sneeze during autographs,” Jensen says on their way out, “just turn toward me. Don’t think I can catch it more than I already have. Sound good, Patient Zero?”


All throughout their signing session, Jared makes it a point not to breathe all of the posters and other various forms of Supernatural memorabilia that finds its way in front of him, and he uses the hotel-provided hand sanitizer like it’s going out of style (might as well be, he thinks, with the way it’s been drying out his hands).

“Sorry,” he apologizes to what’s probably the fiftieth fan unlucky enough to have to pause at the signing table and wait for him to finish sneezing. He can’t seem to stop, and as much as he wants to rub is nose, he doesn’t want to get germs all over his hands. “I’mb a little sick. Dond’t worry; I’mb taking precautionds.”

“Aw, bless you! It’s okay!” She gushes nervously, visibly twitchy as she watches him sniffle and sign one of her DVDs. “Guess it’s just that time of year, huh?”

He smiles, bright and warm even with a raging headcold, as she and her well wishes (“I hope you feel better!”) are rushed off to the next table.


Photo ops prove to be even more difficult – nobody’s perfect, after all, and with so much physical contact Jared’s sure that he hasn’t completely prevented the fans from coming into contact with the virus. And, despite his politeness and his warnings they really sincerely don’t seem to mind, none too shy about pressing up against him and shaking his hand and standing on their toes to hug him. It’s kind of nice to feel so adored, even at what Jared feels like is his grossest.

Not to say that it isn’t embarrassing when he looks at the camera too early and catches the flash directly in his eye.

Hh’TSSHuh! IhtTSCHew! TSSCHEW!” He’s spun around and buried his face into his forearm, sniffling as he returns to face Jensen and the sympathetic fan. “Sorry, sorry,” he says sheepishly as the fan blesses him with enthusiasm. “Thandk you. Did that ruind the shot? Let’s take andother onde.”

Jared’s photic reflex has always been his tipping point, and with a nose that’s tickling constantly in an environment full of flashing cameras, he figures that this was bound to happen.

He’s a little more careful next time.

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It's written beautifully and the plot is the sweetest thing ever and I can just totally imagine this happening :wub: And OH JARED, he's so adorably sick, and him trying to keep it away from the fans, and Jensen being all adorable and protective and caring, and Jared's photicness at the end!!!!!!! *squeals incoherently*

This is seriously the most amazing fic ever and just so adorable and gah!! I can't stop reading it!!

*declares you goddess of all SPN fics* :worshippy:

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You're always so nice to me!! Thank you thank you. I rushed through this one because I had promised it over at the meme and then I ended up procrastinating for weeks until I decided that I needed to get it done today! (And after watching the CCMAs last night I was totally in an RPF mood.)

I was really self conscious about this one so I'm really really glad that you liked it!

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Omg. I can't even begin to tell you how much I LOVE this! Jared's congested speak is too adorable for words and I'm typically a Dean/Jensen girl but I just want to snuggle Jared right now. I also like knowing there is the potential for the same out of Jensen. Watching his cold progress will be delicious. ;)

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* dead* slsizuuwsihzshebrichnwjdcuusnejdushhsksjsoolwsuxujwmwlskusjqnwowiyxhannesiyxjwkdkcuhjwkdkcufhjendixiwnjdudiejTOOMUCHPERFECTION<3OMGSNIFFLYJARED<3YeeeesASecondPartPlease<3kenskskksmaksizksksks <3. :);) hot.

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You're always so nice to me!! Thank you thank you. I rushed through this one because I had promised it over at the meme and then I ended up procrastinating for weeks until I decided that I needed to get it done today! (And after watching the CCMAs last night I was totally in an RPF mood.)

I was really self conscious about this one so I'm really really glad that you liked it!

You shouldn't be self conscious about it, it's seriously amazing! It actually didn't feel rushed at all to me, you got the pace just right! ^_^

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Oh man, imagine if you were the girl having the photo taken. I have a friend who went to a con and her photo went wrong because Jared was just kinda getting into position so they took another one but she got to keep both. Imagine having a copy of the first photo from your fic! *Daydreams*

Amyway, this is awesome and lovely. I love your RPF, you just seem to be able to write everyone really believably, and Jensen was so sweet in this, looking after Jared and making sure that he gets a break and everything, but being just ever so slightly mocking. It's nice, and relaxed and realistic.

And man, it's hot, him being so ill and talking about it, and not being able to stop sneezing and being all apologetic and trying so hard to keep everyone from catching it (his poor hands!) and YAY! photic Jared! It must have been so hard for him with all of the flashing and being so sneezy and everything to begin with.

Love your writing so much. This was an absolute treat.

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Dawwww... I'm pretty sure I'll dream about this story tonignt. Sneezing Jared and doomed-to-be-sneezing Jensen *grin*

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Oh to actually be there. In my dreams. Literally! Beautiful!

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Oh, man. Yeaaahhh, I'm really wanting to be that girl right now. I would just love it if sick Jared wouldn't mind just sneezing and "ruining" MY picture. And then I would have that picture to cherish for eternity. So thanks for THAT image! I may or may not be thinking about that for the rest of the night.

How do you write them SO accurately?? You don't even understand your own talent. It's astounding. You always have fresh ideas. And this is just an RPF but it is just SO good, I don't get it, it's amazing and I can't even...

I just wanted to appreciate you. And this fic because it is gorgeous. And you. :D

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You guys are SO GREAT. Seriously, thank you so much. Can't even count how many times I've read your comments (probably a lot).

I just wanted to appreciate you. And this fic because it is gorgeous. And you.

Oh man I am so happy to see you around again!!!!

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I literally am in love with this! Usually the RPF thing (right?) isn't my thing, but this was just wonderful. I would like to think Jared would be exactly like this, and Jensen, too. You captured the way I think of them, perfectly. And um, I would so want to be a fan at this convention! wubsmiley.gifwubsmiley.gif

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