Anyone have any insight on eating disorders NOS?

[Nola]

So, I chose not to put this in support, because I don't feel I need any support on this, but was wondering if anyone could relate, or knew anything about it. My food issues are outline below, and I just thought maybe someone might be wise on the subject...I feel I should give some background first, so bear with me.

I have always been a picky eater, but it seemed to evolve from there once I became a pre-teen. I had this insane idea that I was going to grow up to be a model (I am only five foot seven but am told CONSTANTLY that I'm like this tall abomination or something, I don't know,long legs, but anyway 5'7" is just tall enough to be a runway model last I checked, not that I care anymore). That caused me to watch what I ate and also how much I ate in public.

Starting in high school, I would be asked by random strangers if I had anorexia, and to tell the truth, I thought it meant something positive. (Because on the flip side, I was also asked if I was a model and somehow I seemed to have misconstrued the idea that they were one in the same compliment or something).

Furthermore, my mother told me when I was probably fifteen that she was 99 pounds when she graduated high school (she has always been very competitive with me, ugh, it sucks, to be honest, I wanted a mother not a little sister, for goodness sakes). When I was in tenth grade, a girl I was sort of friends with announced to the class that I finally made it into the triple digits. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable, to say the least, and when I graduated, I was 104 lbs. At that time, I was upset.

On to college, same stuff, but eating in public is getting worse...My roommate's stupid boyfriend made things worse by telling me that if I go on dates I shouldn't eat salads b/c I pick them apart and no guy likes that, also, not to be so picky when I order food, and all sorts of things that just made me feel worse about it.

Then, the roomie asked me if I was bulimic because I always went to brush my teeth after lunch. As an emetophobe who has proudly not threw up since I was seven, I was upset. She told before mentioned boyfriend and he asked if I hid little bags of you know what somewhere...nice guy, right? (My roomie, I think, was asking out of concern).

Fast forward some more, to now. I have IBS (sorry, TMI, perhaps), and am lactose sensitive, and well, this just intensifies the whole eating in public thing. But, I'm in a better mental state about the weight thing, because I am comfortable with my weight, and really could care less what other people think about it, or my height, or whether or not I'm a model. (I still am sensitive when explaining my roomie's boyfriend part though, but that's in the past I guess, and I try to keep it there).

Sigh, sorry this is sooo long. Anyways, I think that about sums it up. Does anyone know if this eating in public thing is what the psychiatrists call an Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified? Or is it just me being picky and quirky?

[Sawyer]

I've only been studying psychology for about four years so I'm definitely by no means a clinical psychologist, but I've gone through a lot of eating/food-related issues and I'm trying to specialize in both anxiety-related and eating-related disorders in my career so I'm going to offer you my perspective! Obviously I'm not an expert, but I feel like I understand.

First of all! The way you and your eating habits have been treated over the years is incredibly incredibly unfair and the things said to and about you sound so triggering and insensitive to me (even if some of them were well-meaning, or thought you didn't have body image issues because you're so thin, whatever, the ignorance and insensitivity thing still stands). Especially your roommate's boyfriend -- I'm assuming he was just ignorant too, or whatever, but the things he said were not okay. I know it's in the past and there's nothing I can do to change what he said or how it affected you, but I just wanted to express my sympathies about all of that (because I've been in similar situations and it really, really sucks).

From what I understand about EDNOS is that it's any eating-related disorder that doesn't meet the exact criteria for binge-eating, anorexia nervosa, or bulimia (for example, you could be severely underweight and starving yourself but if you still got periods, you would have EDNOS and not anorexia). And if your problem with eating in public is interfering with your happiness or making it more difficult for you to function comfortably and productively, then I believe it would qualify as a disorder (so, to answer your question! yes, it does sound like EDNOS to me). And even if it's not, if something bothers you, you shouldn't trivialize it! It's important to do what you can to make sure that you're safe and healthy and happy.

Additionally, this is kind of a side note about the whole roommate's boyfriend thing... I know it's totally not my place to say this so please feel free to ignore it... but I've read that if something has an effect on you that way and you really struggle to talk about it, then talking about it a lot is going to help immensely. The theory is that the more you face that sort of thing, the more you become desensitized and each time you talk about it, it gets a little better until it barely bothers you at all. If you're not in a position where you think that it really matters, then it's absolutely fine to decide not to talk about it, but if it's something you want to face, if you talk about it often then eventually the memories won't have any leverage over you and you will be able to discuss it smoothly (in a safe environment, of course).

Sorry that this was so long... I always feel like I have a lot to say when it comes to this sort of thing. Let me know if you ever want to talk!!

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Well i'd say you go to a doctor to talk about your eating habits.

maybe it is an eating disorder or perhaps not.

Some people just generally feel self-concious when eating in public but one should not, eating is something to keep us alive.. a normal human thing to do.

I'd suggest (you do not have to do this if you do not want) to try new foods, find foods that YOU like so that you can eat more.. if you want? I mean im not going to be that guy to force you to eat more, that is not how you're suppose to handle this.

Eat more, little by little. Try new foods. find something that works for you.

Also i'd strongly suggest going to a doctor about this, maybe she/he can give you tips on eating.. I guess.

Sorry if any of this was rude or hurtful. I had not intentions of it being so. I tryed to make it like.. in a sincere advice way.

and most importantly DO NOT listen to what others have to say about your body, it is YOUR body. as long as YOU are happy with it, don't mind those comments.

Stay strong<3

[Nola]

Aww, Sen Beret, thank you!! You always seem to make me feel better. I think I just might take you up on that wanting to talk thing, there is just soo much that I can't stand about that guy...I could probably talk for ages, haha. But yes, I do agree that talking makes it feel better, but then, it's hard to bring it up, and I really hate to cry and certainly not over a stupid jerk like him.

As for all of your advice, thank you! Four years worth of knowledge is enough for me, and I trust your opinions. Also, good luck with your future plan, I think you'd be a really good listener!

I don't really know if the eating in public thing effects my functioning, I just sort of got used to what people look/act like when I eat only small amounts very slowly. I just assume they think I have some sort of eating issue and try to let it go. If anyone is brave enough to ask, though, I always offer the explanation that eating too fast makes me sick, and I prefer to eat small meals throughout the day as opposed to three big meals. This is true, at least.

I also wanted to add that I've always found it hard to talk about because so many people want to be thin, and try so hard to be that way, and so I feel like I'm complaining, or am ungrateful of my fast metabolism, or something, if I ever bring up the issues I have...

Also, don't apologize for being long-winded, I don't mind at all!!

And to DNO (can I call you that?): I didn't think you were being rude or hurtful, and thank you for your advice! It really IS something a lot of people feel uncomfortable with, I wonder why that is? I honestly can't explain why it makes me feel that way, and I don't really like when certain people eat around me either. I don't know, I'm a weirdo at best.

I don't mind trying new foods, honestly, I just prefer not to try them in public. I've read up on the literature of IBS, and figure I know about as much as any family practitioner might (not saying they are dumb, of course, but the last time I did go, to be diagnosed with IBS, she didn't really offer too much advice on how to deal - I could go see a specialist, but I'd rather not).The books pretty much say what you said, try new things a little at a time, and also find your trigger foods and avoid them if necessary.

As for the body image part...I have come a long way in accepting what I look like. Happy with it? I don't know, is anyone??(It took me almost my entire life to deal with how my nose looked, for crying out loud). I can't change too much of it anyways, because even if I were loaded I'd never spend it on plastic surgery, so dealing is my option. I will try to be strong, but not too strong, or else I might develop a problem with not looking feminine enough, haha. Just teasing. And thanks again.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Aww, Sen Beret, thank you!! You always seem to make me feel better. I think I just might take you up on that wanting to talk thing, there is just soo much that I can't stand about that guy...I could probably talk for ages, haha. But yes, I do agree that talking makes it feel better, but then, it's hard to bring it up, and I really hate to cry and certainly not over a stupid jerk like him.

As for all of your advice, thank you! Four years worth of knowledge is enough for me, and I trust your opinions. Also, good luck with your future plan, I think you'd be a really good listener!

I don't really know if the eating in public thing effects my functioning, I just sort of got used to what people look/act like when I eat only small amounts very slowly. I just assume they think I have some sort of eating issue and try to let it go. If anyone is brave enough to ask, though, I always offer the explanation that eating too fast makes me sick, and I prefer to eat small meals throughout the day as opposed to three big meals. This is true, at least.

I also wanted to add that I've always found it hard to talk about because so many people want to be thin, and try so hard to be that way, and so I feel like I'm complaining, or am ungrateful of my fast metabolism, or something, if I ever bring up the issues I have...

Also, don't apologize for being long-winded, I don't mind at all!!

And to DNO (can I call you that?): I didn't think you were being rude or hurtful, and thank you for your advice! It really IS something a lot of people feel uncomfortable with, I wonder why that is? I honestly can't explain why it makes me feel that way, and I don't really like when certain people eat around me either. I don't know, I'm a weirdo at best.

I don't mind trying new foods, honestly, I just prefer not to try them in public. I've read up on the literature of IBS, and figure I know about as much as any family practitioner might (not saying they are dumb, of course, but the last time I did go, to be diagnosed with IBS, she didn't really offer too much advice on how to deal - I could go see a specialist, but I'd rather not).The books pretty much say what you said, try new things a little at a time, and also find your trigger foods and avoid them if necessary.

As for the body image part...I have come a long way in accepting what I look like. Happy with it? I don't know, is anyone??(It took me almost my entire life to deal with how my nose looked, for crying out loud). I can't change too much of it anyways, because even if I were loaded I'd never spend it on plastic surgery, so dealing is my option. I will try to be strong, but not too strong, or else I might develop a problem with not looking feminine enough, haha. Just teasing. And thanks again.

No problem and yeh go to a specialist for that.. for new foods.

[Sawyer]

Aww, Sen Beret, thank you!! You always seem to make me feel better. I think I just might take you up on that wanting to talk thing, there is just soo much that I can't stand about that guy...I could probably talk for ages, haha. But yes, I do agree that talking makes it feel better, but then, it's hard to bring it up, and I really hate to cry and certainly not over a stupid jerk like him.

As for all of your advice, thank you! Four years worth of knowledge is enough for me, and I trust your opinions. Also, good luck with your future plan, I think you'd be a really good listener!

I don't really know if the eating in public thing effects my functioning, I just sort of got used to what people look/act like when I eat only small amounts very slowly. I just assume they think I have some sort of eating issue and try to let it go. If anyone is brave enough to ask, though, I always offer the explanation that eating too fast makes me sick, and I prefer to eat small meals throughout the day as opposed to three big meals. This is true, at least.

I also wanted to add that I've always found it hard to talk about because so many people want to be thin, and try so hard to be that way, and so I feel like I'm complaining, or am ungrateful of my fast metabolism, or something, if I ever bring up the issues I have...

Also, don't apologize for being long-winded, I don't mind at all!!

That is so so kind of you to say. Thank you so much! Seriously, I'm always around if you ever feel like you want to talk about this stuff -- even if it seems pointless, if you ever want to get something out or even try to figure out something different, it helps so much to talk about it (kind of like your mind is a ball of yarn, and you need someone else to hold the string while you unravel it or else it can get tangled all over again).

I've had so many issues eating in public over the years (feeling like it's not "safe", worrying about judgment, even if I knew there wouldn't be any but still not wanting to have so many people seeing me doing a "private" thing, etc.) and if you don't feel like it's inhibiting you in any way or making you unhappy, then you shouldn't worry about it. A lot of professionals feel like even if someone does have something about them that's quirky or a little "off", if it isn't harmful or upsetting to them (or to others around them), then there's no cause for concern, and it's perfectly fine to let it go untreated.

As for that last part... wow, I definitely know what you mean. People are so quick to judge and to assume that because being thin is the society's standard ideal for beauty, thin people must have no problems with eating or body image. We NEVER worry about things like that, because it's all about your objective appearance and knowing that other people approve of how you look, right? (Of course not.) I think that jealousy and bitterness and simply just a lack of perspective can cause people to make hasty and insensitive comments like that. It's really a shame.

[Nola]

I can definitely relate. I'm diagnosed with EDNOS and am getting treatment for it now. Everyone's eating disorders look different. I personally am not a picky eater in the least, I just choose not to eat if I can help it. I exercise as much as I can and I also purge my food if I've eaten something 'not allowed'. I also HATE eating in public and have had body dysmorphia for like... ever. So I can definitely relate to you in many ways. Picking apart food can definitely be classified as an ED behavior. Freaking out over weight/numbers/the food you eat/being ashamed of eating in public, these are all symptoms of ED. You don't NECESSARILY have an ED, but I can see that you show some traits of eating 'issues'. I can tell you though that you deserve to be a healthy weight, to not give into society's female beauty stereotypes, and to enjoy the food you like. You deserve to be able to eat in public. This does NOT by any means mean its easy to do. Its a process. Hang in there.

(I need to follow my own damn advice lol)

Aww, spoider: *hugs* Thank you so much for your insight! My sympathies to you since you are also struggling, and yes, please take your own advice! you deserve to be a healthy weight, too! And to be happy, feel beautiful, not worry about some damn number on a scale and etc.! Good luck, and if I can be of any use to you, let me know!

[Nola]

Aww, Sen Beret, thank you!! You always seem to make me feel better. I think I just might take you up on that wanting to talk thing, there is just soo much that I can't stand about that guy...I could probably talk for ages, haha. But yes, I do agree that talking makes it feel better, but then, it's hard to bring it up, and I really hate to cry and certainly not over a stupid jerk like him.

As for all of your advice, thank you! Four years worth of knowledge is enough for me, and I trust your opinions. Also, good luck with your future plan, I think you'd be a really good listener!

I don't really know if the eating in public thing effects my functioning, I just sort of got used to what people look/act like when I eat only small amounts very slowly. I just assume they think I have some sort of eating issue and try to let it go. If anyone is brave enough to ask, though, I always offer the explanation that eating too fast makes me sick, and I prefer to eat small meals throughout the day as opposed to three big meals. This is true, at least.

I also wanted to add that I've always found it hard to talk about because so many people want to be thin, and try so hard to be that way, and so I feel like I'm complaining, or am ungrateful of my fast metabolism, or something, if I ever bring up the issues I have...

Also, don't apologize for being long-winded, I don't mind at all!!

That is so so kind of you to say. Thank you so much! Seriously, I'm always around if you ever feel like you want to talk about this stuff -- even if it seems pointless, if you ever want to get something out or even try to figure out something different, it helps so much to talk about it (kind of like your mind is a ball of yarn, and you need someone else to hold the string while you unravel it or else it can get tangled all over again).

I've had so many issues eating in public over the years (feeling like it's not "safe", worrying about judgment, even if I knew there wouldn't be any but still not wanting to have so many people seeing me doing a "private" thing, etc.) and if you don't feel like it's inhibiting you in any way or making you unhappy, then you shouldn't worry about it. A lot of professionals feel like even if someone does have something about them that's quirky or a little "off", if it isn't harmful or upsetting to them (or to others around them), then there's no cause for concern, and it's perfectly fine to let it go untreated.

As for that last part... wow, I definitely know what you mean. People are so quick to judge and to assume that because being thin is the society's standard ideal for beauty, thin people must have no problems with eating or body image. We NEVER worry about things like that, because it's all about your objective appearance and knowing that other people approve of how you look, right? (Of course not.) I think that jealousy and bitterness and simply just a lack of perspective can cause people to make hasty and insensitive comments like that. It's really a shame.

Thanks again! I've never heard that ball of yarn analogy before, but it's a good one!

And for your troubles, I'm sorry you've had issues with this, too. It sucks that probably most of the battle takes place in our heads, our perceptions of what people think, putting all of our own insecurities on others. I have talked to my doctor about my emetophobia, but I am not really interested in treating that and she said that was okay. But I suppose talking about it can be like therapy, so I will extend my assistance to you, just in case you want to get anything off your chest, as well!

And yes, to the last part, just yes. Shameful. As if a person could know, ever, what another person struggles with...standard, accepted, whatever.