sneezes on a trip to Lisbon (M only)

[atchoum]

Travelling is one of the best times to observe sneezes – you come in contact with so many different people and you have lots of time to observe closely. Even better, people seem to be particularly sneezy on planes and in trains, as has been remarked here. I spent Friday and last weekend in Lisbon – Friday for work, the weekend to look around – so here are the sneezes I saw. I’ve separated male and female for those who prefer not to mix their pleasures. This is the M part.

The trip started well : first obs in the metro going to the airport very early in the morning. A man in his early 20s got on – small to medium height, lo

ts of brown hair all tangled up (he must have just got up– it was before 6 in the morning), a four-day beard –altogether very boyish looking, though a hairy chest could be seen under an open neck shirt. In spite of the early hour, he looked fresh and bouncy - a fun character. Just as he was sitting down opposite me, he sneezed a quick, very open sneeze : ARRASSH ! and seemed to smile after it. The train moved out of the station and as I could see him reflected in the glass of the window, I observed for a while what seemed like another sneeze build up – and it was indeed another sneeze, a couple of false starts, then a second ARRASHH ! After the sneeze, another half smirk. There were then a few other false starts, but the sneeze reflex was obviously wearing off, and we got off a few stops later anyway.

At the airport there was an interesting very quick double from a man in his early twenties travelling with his boyfriend (they were using the same bags) – possible sons or grandsons of Portuguese immigrants going back to see family. He stifled the sneezes, which came almost together, without any noise and without holding his nose, and he explained to his friend that he must have got a cold from “the car”. Five minutes later, as we were going through security, he pulled out a much used green handkerchief and gave a small blow. Made me wonder whether gay men were more often stiflers than straight… ?

In the plane : my favourite sneezes of the whole trip. Just settling down, I hear a full bodied, wet sneeze from the seat behind me ( ATCHEHER !) and before I could look round, a second ATHCHEHER! I suddenly needed to look in the locker above the seat, so I got up and took a glance at my neighbour behind me. Blond guy (blond by French standards!), about 30, with big features – a big fleshy nose and a big fleshy mouth – not surprising he has big fleshy sneezes too- and now he was winding up for a third ATCHEHER ! Face completely contorted in the explosion. He was travelling with his girl friend, who made no acknowledgement of the sneezes. He got up and turned off the ventilation, sat down again, and unfortunately, that was it for the sneezes.

There was one day work – strangely not a single sneeze there, neither male nor female – then the weekend out and about in Lisbon. On the castle overlooking Lisbon (outstanding views from everywhere in this impossibly beautiful city) there is a promenade with pine and olive trees, where people can admire the view and recuperate after the climb up the hill. It was there that I heard, from afar, a splashy and obviously male sneeze. It sounded so far away I didn’t really even hope to identify the sneezer, but I did notice three people coming my way - two men, one tall, one short and a woman. The taller man was rubbing a rather red nose and sniffing. They went to admire the view and I trailed after them – they turned out to be French, and it looked as if the tall man – late 30’s, rather intellectual-looking with rimless glasses – appeared to be having allergy problems, though he was sniffing rather than blowing. The sneeze was undoubtedly his, but that was the only one I saw.

Using public transport is also good for spying sneezes. I was in one of the street elevators, standing just opposite – and close – to what seemed to be a local man in his 40’s – not very tall, black hair, small features – carrying a local bag. I thought he was yawning – as the elevator seemed to have broken down and we had been waiting for a good while and everyone was getting bored – but it was a yawn that didn’t seem to be getting anywhere and I was just starting to wonder if it was not a sneeze in the making, when it did in fact become a sneeze – not a loud one, just a wet TSCHISSHH ! The man made no attempt to cover it, although I was less than an arms distance from him, though we did exchange a grave nod of acknowledgment. The best part was the split second when all his features contorted as the sneeze actually took form and the long wait was over. Then the following day, arriving at a crowded tram stop there was just time to see a very blond man with little moustache and goatee (Nordic tourist ?), grab his nose and double over in a (painfully ?) stifled sneeze. I move a bit closer and saw that there was another sneeze on the way – he seemed to be fighting against it, but it was not to be stopped, and he lurched forward again, still clasping his nose. This man was going to be discreet even if it killed him! Then he talked to his girlfriend, sniffing all the time, but no more sneezes; in the tram I heard him talking to some Americans, though he did not have an American accent himself.

One tiny extra obs: walking through a gentrified part of Lisbon I saw a car stop in front of me and two boys bounded out, wearing tennis gear and carrying tennis rackets, and proceeded to run across the road - presumable their mother dropping them off from tennis practice. The older was about 18, the younger perhaps 14 - very much rich children… as they were crossing the street, the older of the two had two very dry sneezes, uh KUK ! uh KUK ! – no attempt to stifle, but no need either. If you hadnt seen the typical sneeze thrust, it could have been a cough.

And a very last sighting – actually on the way to work on the first day back – about the same metro stop as where the hairychested boy had sneezed the day I left – there was a couple of French tourists, obviously just off the plane from somewhere sunny – about 20 years old the boy much darker than the girl – unruly hair ears that stick out making him look even more casual. I hadn’t paid much attention until a few stops on I realised that the open mouth was a sneeze in preparation – he had a kleenex already in hand - it took him a long time for the sneeze to build up, and he sneezed softly but wetly THCEEWW into the handkerchief and then waited for the next, also a good half minute coming. Then he blew his nose and his girlfriend passed him a fresh kleenex, which he also seemed to fill up. We remained on the same train for some time after, but that seemed to be all the sneezes in the offing.

Nice interludes to a very enjoyable stay – and Lisbon has so much to offer apart from sneezes!

Just an afterthought : several of the sneezers I saw obviously take a long long time to get their sneezes out. I have a particularly slow starting sneeze (I hope it doesnt show as much of most of these) but from the weekends obs, it’s not as uncommon as all that!

[SusieQusie]

Wow! Wonderful obs!!! Thanks so much for posting

[Lynne]

Wow! Wonderful obs!!! Thanks so much for posting

Now where are those train tickets - coming Susie?

[SusieQusie]

Now where are those train tickets - coming Susie?

Definitley!

[Geist]

Oh, that just made my day! Your obs. are always so wonderfully described......thank you SO much for sharing! This makes me want to get over my loathing of public trans.....LOL!

[xfilesgurl]

Absolutely wonderful! I'm NEVER that lucky when I travel.

And thanks for splitting out the m/f

Xfilesgurl