Fic: Blowing Smoke

[Beth_C]

Blowing Smoke

~Beth C

Author's Note: Well someone requested Daisy, so here goes my shot at that!

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Smoke. There was always a lot of smoke in the Boar’s Nest. Smoke, loud music and lots of riff-raff drinking the watered down beer that was served. Daisy Duke sighed as she looked over the patrons of the bar tonight.

There were four men she recognized from town, three women with the men, two guests from out of town, and one off duty deputy. It didn’t look like there was going to be trouble tonight, but then, the night was still early.

She picked up her serving tray and wound her way through the many tables that were set up in the middle of the floor. It had taken lots of practice to be able to walk without falling in her 2” high heels, but when she wore them and her shortest shorts, she usually got the most tips.

And tips was what she really needed. Boss Hogg didn’t really pay her much for her efforts here, certainly not enough to put up with the myriad of leers, rude calls, and pinches she took on a nightly basis. The only reason she kept on working here, was to pay off the loan her Uncle Jessie had agreed to with Boss to finance the orange stock car that her cousins, Bo and Luke Duke, drove around in. The General Lee.

She reached the one table that had been recently vacated and placed the empty glasses on the tray and quickly wiped the table down with a quick swipe of a rag she carried. Under one of the glasses she had found her tip. $.40. She sighed and pocketed the meager change, then picked up the tray and walked back to the bar.

As she was depositing the glasses into the dirty dishes bin, the door opened up and two rather large and frightening men sauntered in as if they owned the place. The sat down at one of the tables and whistled for her.

This was the kind of clientele that she wished she never would have to meet at all. She put on her best smile and walked over to them. “Welcome to Hazzard County. What can I get you boys tonight?”

The first man looked her up and down and back up again, letting his eyes linger on her tight tank top. He was smoking a rather stinky cigar, one of those imported jobs and Daisy could feel the smoke irritating her sensitive nose. She brought one hand up to rub slightly at her nose while waiting for one of the two of them to answer.

It was the second man, who spoke first. He was a tad shorter than his partner, and he was also smoking the same type of cigar. He took a deep drag on it, then puffed out, “Whiskey, straight, for both of us.”

Daisy smiled and tried to act like the smoke didn’t matter to her. “Certainly, I’ll be right back!”

As she walked away, she noticed that the certain off-duty deputy, one Enos Strate, was eyeing the newcomers to the pub. She felt better when he was there, as if he was watching over her.

She filled the glasses quickly and brought the orders over to the table, intending to just place them down and go, but the first man grabbed her by her arm and swung her around. “Hey hotcakes, what’s the rush?” His words were accompanied by enough smoke to start a forest fire.

She reached up and rubbed at her nose again. “In case you didn’t notice, you’re not the only ones here, but I’m the only serving girl.” She tried to be polite, she knew Boss didn’t like it if she was rude to the customers and would frequently dock her pay if she was.

“Right now, you’re my gal.” He whispered right up next her ear. He took another drag from the cigar and blew it right at her face. “Got that?”

The smoke made her eyes water and she could feel it tickling her sinuses something awful. She again tried to pull away but he had her in a tight grip. “I’m nobody’s gal,” she replied and looked over to where Enos was watching the display.

She gave him a ‘come on already’ look and he finally stood up, and walked over to the table. He was still in uniform, having just gotten off duty less than an hour ago. He looked over both men, noticing little details that most would miss, such as eye color, face shape, clothing type and such before drawing himself up to his full height. “Are these men bothering you, Daisy?”

She started to nod and the first man released her hand. She stepped over next to Enos. “It’s okay, Enos,” she said, “Thanks.”

He tipped his hat to her. “Always a pleasure, Daisy.”

The first man was now glaring at her. “Bar broads, always the same.” He picked up his drink and tossed it back with one gulp. “Let’s go, Rod.” He took one last drag on his cigar before blowing the smoke in her face and dropping the butt in the ashtray on the table.

Rod took out a couple of single bills and tossed them on the table. “Yeah, this place isn’t too friendly.” They then left the pub.

Daisy had been holding her breath until they walked out the door. As she watched them go, she realized the stench of their smoke was now embedded in her clothes and hair and even on her skin. As she turned away, she couldn’t help but sneeze from the amount of smoke she had just inhaled. “Ehh-Cheshh!”

A couple of the people in the room blessed her and she smiled her thanks as she walked back to the bar. Unfortunately that one small sneeze didn’t quite clear her nose of the offending odor.

She managed to pick up a few of the bar napkins and press them to her face as she was overwhelmed by a series of sneezes. “Ehhhh-Shhhhh! ehh… ehktushhhh! Ehkkushh!”

She quickly found that once she started it was impossible to stop. Her long hair flew in front of her face as she tried to muffle the rest of them in the napkins. “Chishhh! Hehshhh!” Her chest was heaving and she felt like she couldn’t take a deep breath to save her life.

She tried to blow her nose to help clear it, but it felt like she was breathing through mud. Very thick Georgia clay, to be precise. It was only after her next set of sneezes that she realized that someone had taken her elbow and was escorting her towards the front door. She looked up from around her napkins to see Enos’ worried face.

“Miss Daisy, I think we should get you outside for some fresh air.”

All she could do was nod and sneeze helplessly. “Ehh-Cheshh!”

The cool night air hit her face and she finally managed to take a deep breath. Enos led her over to his patrol car so she could lean against it. She did so and had to bend over with another harsh sneeze. “Ehhhh-Shhhhh!”

When she looked up again she noticed Enos holding out his handkerchief. “Please, Miss Daisy, you might need this.” He looked a bit embarrassed to even be offering her the freshly pressed square but after soaking the bar napkins she was grateful.

She accepted his offer and took it just in time to stifle another sneeze. “Chishhh!”

Now that she was in the fresh air, her fit seemed to be dying down. She sagged wearily against the cool metal of the car.

Enos was looking a bit uncomfortable still. “Bless you, Miss Daisy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone sneeze that much. Are you alright?”

She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I am now, Enos, thanks to you.” She blew her nose and was glad to see that some of the stuffy feeling was receding. “I think it was all that,” her eyes slid closed with a sudden unexpected sneeze. “Ehh-Cheshh! Oh dear,” she gasped and wiped her nose. “All that smoke,” she finished.

“Bless you again, Miss Daisy.” Enos said politely.

“Thank you, Enos.” She wanted nothing more than to go lay down after that attack. Her head felt a bit dizzy. “Sugar, would you mind taking me home to the farm? I don’t think I can drive tonight.”

“Why certainly, Miss Daisy. I’ll be happy to take you home.” He glanced over to where her jeep was parked. “But what about y’alls jeep?”

She waved the question off. “Either Bo or Luke will bring it home.”

Enos nodded. “Okay, Let me just inform Boss Hogg in the back that I’m taking you home and why, alright?” He opened the passenger side door of the car. “You just sit here and rest.”

Daisy was too worn out to argue. She sank into the seat and tucked her long legs into the car.

True to his word, Enos was back out in a minute. He closed her door and got inside himself. “I told Boss Hogg that I was taking you home, Miss Daisy. He wanted to dock y’all’s pay, but I told him not to, as it wasn’t your fault.” He explained with a small smile while starting the car. “I told him if he was gonna take anyone’s pay for tonight that he could just take mine.”

Daisy was touched by how sweet he was being. “Aw, Enos, you didn’t have to go and do that. Boss Hogg is always docking my pay, Sugar.”

“And it ain’t right.” Enos replied while backing the car away from the Boar’s Nest. “Now I don’t want to hear another word about it, Miss Daisy. You just rest up until I see you home properly.”

Daisy smiled. The least she could do for Enos and all his hospitality was to make him feel good. She scooted a bit closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Would it be okay if I lay my head down here?”

She could feel his body tense up, but he merely nodded. “Certainly, Miss Daisy.”

One of these days, she thought as he drove down the back roads towards her farm. One of these days, Enos, I’m gonna show you how to be a man. With her head now resting on his shoulder, she let the car rock her into a peaceful sleep.

~End

[Bombast]

That was a nice, understated little story the likes of which I haven't seen around here for many moons. Never much cared for the show, but you took a couple of cardboard cutout characters and breathed life into them. Good job Beth.

[Beth_C]

What can I say? I'm a child of the 80's and I love writing 80's fanfic.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. This week it's Dukes, next week who knows?

I just love to write.

~Beth C

[Guest bgsnzlvr]

Beth

Great story. And ooh la la. Those wonderful shorts Daisy used to wear on

the show. Who cares about Bo and Luke!!! WOW!!! Would like to see more.

I think you are on to some fertile territory!! How about a TJ Hooker story

with beautiful Heather Locklear doing some big sneezes?? Just a thought

LOL!!

[Sternuto]

MMM... Daisy Duke in the throes of a sneezing fit.

I had that fantasy for years!