Twenty-Sixteen Drabbles

[Anonymouse]

I have a habit of starting drabble threads (and full stories, and drawings, and pretty much everything else) and then abandoning them. When I do feel like writing drabbles again it feels stupid reviving an old thread with drabbles that embarrass the hell out of me. So I've decided to make one just for this year, and if I'm still around then there will probably be a Twenty-Seventeen Drabbles thread sometime next January. I made it a goal go do twenty drabbles and then sixteen more for a total of shifty shive (jk thirty-six). I was originally considering the lofty goal of 2,016 drabbles in one year but hahaHAHAha no.

Anyway, I've got some B99 for the inaugural 2016 drabbles. One Amy (f) and one Jake (m), and I've got Rosa and some Marvel characters coming down the pike. Thanks for reading!

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1.

Jake followed the stank trail of cigarette smoke to the roof, where Amy was staring out at the city with lit cigarette between her fingers and a pensive look on her face. It wasn't until the chill of the air hit his bare arms that Jake realized how cold it was outside. He had the blanket his grandmother knit for him years ago wrapped around his shoulders like a superhero cape. It was fitting, after his heroics this evening, but something was clearly bothering his girlfriend too much for him to enjoy himself completely. "Ames," he said softly, so as not to startle her, but she jumped anyway, dropping the cigarette and crushing it quickly under her heel.

"Just needed some fresh air," Amy said with a cough. She was shivering; Jake wondered if it was from the shock of unexpected company or the below freezing temperatures for which she was woefully unprepared. She had on one of his NYPD t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants that looked warmer than they really were.

"You must be freezing," he said, wrapping her up in a blanketed hug. She curled her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest. Her body was cold and trembling in his arms.

"Sorry," she said, so softly Jake wasn't sure if he heard her correctly.

"Sorry?" he repeated. "For what?"

"For sneaking a cigarette-"

"Come on, you know I don't-"

But she had more. "And for sneaking out here when the sign clearly said 'No public roof access', and for forgetting to remind you to get something for Charles, and for not answering your texts when it was all going down..."

Jake wondered what had her acting so anxious and then he remembered that he barely made it out alive from a real-life Die Hard hostage situation less than four hours ago. He could only imagine what she must have felt when she found out what was happening. Maybe it was the same fear he felt when she didn't answer his texts. The thought of dying in there without getting to say goodbye was scarier to him than having a gun pointed at his face.

"I'm fine," he said, reassuring the both of them. "And you're fine. We're both fine. We're here."

"Let's both stay that way," she said, and he could feel her start to smile against his chest. After a moment she took a deep breath, like she was about to say something important. "Jake."

"Yes?" he asked, giving her a squeeze. He felt her draw in another quick breath, more urgent this time, and for a moment he was terrified he did something to hurt her. Until she sneezed twice, catching both whispered releases against her curled fingers.

"Okay, time to go inside," Jake said. It was too cold for the both of them out here, but Amy ran into the freezing ocean for him tonight. She came close to hypothermia every time she ate a popsicle, so this was a pretty big deal. Even just a few seconds in the frigid water was a shock to her system.

She stumbled against him with another sneeze, this one a little more forceful. "Sorry," she said again, scrunching up her nose and rubbing it furiously against her knuckles.

"You don't have to say sorry," he said, pushing open the roof door. He could feel Amy relax against him as the warm air greeted her skin. It was like a spell was broken, or medication had kicked in, removing all traces of anxiety.

"Much better," she said.

Jake muffled a yawn. "Back to bed?"

"Back to bed."

-----

2.

It took the third time sleeping together for Amy to confirm that Jake was a morning sneezer. In fact, two out of three mornings began with him sneezing the moment he sat up. It was usually just two to start, so unrestrained that they made the bed frame shake. Then a third after much indecisiveness and hitching breaths, more desperate and vocal than the first ones. Amy got lucky this time, with a bonus fourth she got to see in partial profile. "Morning," she said, reaching out to rest her hand on his back after much internal debate about it. You've slept together three times, you've wanted to for months, and he has no problem touching you, she thought to herself. Don't be afraid to touch him.

Jake didn't answer her. Amy thought it was strange until she felt his shoulder blades expand against her hand, and heard the ragged gasp that preceded a fifth sneeze. She hoped that was the last of them, for his sake. It didn't bother her - in fact, it was kind of fun to watch, since he rarely sneezed like this at work - but she could tell he was starting to feel self-conscious about it. "Bless you," she said out of habit, rubbing his back gently. He was breathing more evenly now, showing no further signs of nasal distress.

"Thangks," he said, his first words to her since he told her she was beautiful before falling asleep last night. (Admittedly, they had had a few drinks, and Amy was still eager to hear it from him sober.) Jake grabbed a couple of tissues off the side table to finish the job of clearing his nose. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"It's fine," she said. "I'll fall back asleep soon enough."

He squinted at the clock. Sometimes Amy wondered if he needed glasses. "It's 9," he said. "You never sleep past 9, not even on weekends."

"That was before this," she said, and his expression brightened, knowing that she meant the two of them. "You make me feel... more relaxed."

"Good. I don't feel like getting kicked out so you can do your crazy morning cleaning ritual without me interfering." She knew the light-hearted jab at her anal-retentive behavior was his way of returning her affection, though he did tend to get in the way, like an aimless pet, whenever she mopped or vacuumed.

"Clearly I need to dust," she said. Jake cleared his throat sheepishly. "And I haven't mopped the kitchen floor in a week, so I definitely need to-"

"Wait, how often are you supposed to mop a kitchen?"

Amy made a face. "I'm not going to ask how often yours gets done."

"Probably a smart decision," he said.

She shuddered. "And that's why we come here," she said. "That, and my mattress isn't a bag full of rocks."

Amy curled back up on her side, sinking into her comfortable mattress. Jake didn't even try to defend his bed as he rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around her. Never in a million years did she think it would feel this good just to be held by him. She could feel him stroking her hair as she drifted back to sleep, and felt herself smile when she heard him say, so softly it felt like a dream, "You're so beautiful."

Everything was beautiful.

[Artemis]

Those are cute. I really like the characters.

[darkness-is-the-light]

I have never watched this show before, but I have seen gifs of it on Tumblr and it seems very entertaining, as well as many people claiming it is. Based off of your drabbles and story, I may have to watch a few episodes or so... But just to test it out. I really do enjoy these drabbles so far and the dynamic between Amy and Jake. He seems to be very childish (from what I have seen) and Amy seems to be a bit more serious, although capable of being fun when she wants to be. 2,016 drabbles throughout the year is very ambitious, but I doubt even the greatest writer would be able to get that amount down with life beside them. It hates us, but don't tell them. I definitely would appreciate seeing more drabbles, since I genuinely love yours and wait to see you write more.

[stephab13]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh what YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS WAS UPPPPP or maybe you did and I spaced and I'm really sorry if that's the case but let me just

You just capture them so well! They're sweet. Jake genuinely is a good guy (we'll ignore all the annoying), and it's nice seeing him looking out for Amy. Which I know he does do, but it's kinda rare we see those selfless moments just for... no particular reason. Like, half the time when he's trying to help Holt he still has his own agenda (mostly solving puzzles) and it's easy to forget sometimes that he can be really sweet and selfless and adorable. :-)

Okay, and, just... you write them so sweetly. I think I struggle with a lot of ships when they become cannon because it's hard for me to move past the really super flirtiness that is them, and half the time we don't get enough sweetness to match it up. But you've struck that balance really well here and it's just leaving me warm and fuzzy. :-) :-) :-)

It took the third time sleeping together for Amy to confirm that Jake was a morning sneezer. In fact, two out of three mornings began with him sneezing the moment he sat up.

ALSO YES. YES. This is EXACTLY what I had in mind with the whole Boyle probably having been sneezed on. Like... it just makes sense. I don't know why. It's just one of those things that Jake does. And I'm pretty sure Boyle wrote No sneezing on that ridiculous wall they had going on

Anyhoo. It's like 1 in the morning here. I need sleep! But first - to reread

[Anonymouse]

Artemis - Aw, thanks I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

Sophie - Let me know if you like it! We started watching it on a whim like we did with Parks and Rec, and we ended up falling in love with both shows. They both have the same writing team and the humor is similar but I like B99 even better. I also have a soft spot for Andy and his character and I love the others too. 2016 is an ambitious goal which is why I will be doing 20+16 which amounts to considerably less.

Stephab - I agree that it gets weird sometimes when characters start a relationship because it changes the dynamic. So far they seem to be doing a decent job of handling it. I just hope it doesn't travel down that same predictable path of marriage and kids, at least not too soon. BTW I loved the stake-out story. Stake me out tonight!

Annnd more B99 because I love Jake and Rosa's friendship and I've been wanting to post this for a few days. Oh, and there's a Rosa sneeze. And an almost sneeze from Jake.

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3.

For their ten year friendaversary, Rosa took Jake to lunch in her car. Lunch was candy and convenience store coffee, so the ride was the real treat. Rosa never let anyone in her car - it was her first car, bought with her own money, so she cherished even more than her bike. She would probably give Hitchcock a ride down the block before she let Jake in there for one second with his sticky toddler fingers. But today was special, she supposed, so she stocked up on baby wipes and made sure the passenger side seatbelt was still in working order.

"Nothing messy," she instructed him when they got to the corner store. "Or blue."

"You do realize how much that limits my options," Jake said.

"You do realize I've been tolerating you for an entire decade and it can all stop today."

He looked at her like she'd taken his hand and placed it directly on a hot stove top. "Wow, Rosa... that was harsh."

"No blue," she repeated, unwavering.

Of course she wasn't surprised to find some frozen green and purple concoction in her cup holder ten minutes later. Leave it to Mr. Rules-Were-Made-To-Be-Broken to find a loophole. "Looks like someone put Barney in a blender," she deadpanned, eager to get back on the road. Jake had spent an unnecessary amount of time of perusing the candy bars and he didn't even get any.

"It's some crazy grape flavor," he said, after taking a sip and making a face. "Blue is my preference, but... you know."

"If a single drop of that touches any part of this car-"

"Hey, I'll be careful," he said, cutting her off before she could get to the scariest part of the threat. "It's my friendaversary gift to you."

"Wow, not having shit spilled all over my car," she said. "Just what I've always wanted."

She waited for an old couple to shuffle out of harm's way before throwing the car in reverse and pulling out of her parking spot. Jake was struggling to carefully open a pack of powdered donuts and almost dropped them as she turned a corner. Rosa nearly slammed the breaks when she saw them. "I thought I said nothing messy."

"I couldn't remember any rules beyond no blue because I was so devastated," he said. "Besides, what's a friendaversary without donuts?"

He offered her one but she batted it away. "Stop saying that word. It's not even a word."

"What, friendaversary?"

Rosa closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Fortunately they were at a red light. She briefly considered kicking Jake out onto the sidewalk while they were stopped; instead she took a sip of coffee and privately threatened whatever deity or cruel weaver of fate thought it would be hilarious to put her and Jake together in the same realm of existence.

And yet, as irritating as he could be sometimes, she loved the guy. It was like having a dumb brother who teased you but always backed you up; he felt more like a sibling to her than those sisters of hers did. He probably had no idea, because he still only knew the tip of iceberg when it came to her story after all these years, but theirs was the longest friendship she ever had. Rosa never cared for her peers back in school, never felt like she fit in with her family, but she liked the people she had in her life now. As much as she cherished her lone wolf status, it was nice to know that she had people who had her back. And nobody had her back like Jake.

The thought brought a little smile to her face, one that quickly faded when she heard Jake start to cough and wheeze beside her. When she glanced at him questioningly he had tears in his eyes. There was powdered sugar on his hands and a half a mini donut crumbled n his lap.

"Inhaled a piece," he said with a cough. "It's in my lung."

She rolled her eyes. "Drink your ice thing and be careful, drama queen."

He took a long sip, then gave another choking cough into the crook of his arm. A thorough throat clearing seemed to force out the last of the irritation. "All clear," he said. "Order restored."

"Don't dust that off until you get out of the car." She stopped to look at him critically, then bit back a smile. "Your mouth is green."

"Why do you think I buy these things?"

"To ingest enough sugar to sustain a constant state of hyperactivity?"

"Okay, that's one of the reasons," he said, taking another sip. The straw looked like a small, plastic roller coaster; it looped about five times before plunging down into the colorful cup. She could see the blended Barney mixture move up and down the inside.

He cleared his throat again and Rosa heard him sniffle. It was just one of those noises to which she was particularly attuned, having heard it so often before. When she glanced at him he was turned towards the door, his eyes focused out the window. He never told her but she knew he could sometimes help a sneeze along by looking at a light. The sun was particularly bright today, reflecting off the snow to create a strong glare.

"Oh, another car rule," she said. "No sneezing. Especially not while holding colorful drinks."

Jake regained his focus long enough to look at her in disbelief. He opened his mouth to reply but then he turned away again, closing his eyes tight and pressing his knuckles against his nose. Rosa shook her head, grabbing the cup from his weakening grip and placing it carefully in the cup holder behind her coffee. She grabbed the hotter cup, taking a sip and steering lazily with her one hand while she waited for Jake to take care of business. When she heard plastic crinkling she glanced at him again. He was watching the road ahead but when he saw her looking he flashed a grin. She was confused, but pleased to see he had tucked the donuts away in his pocket for later. "I thought you had to sneeze," she said.

"It went away."

"Huh."

Rosa took another pensive sip of coffee as they came up to another light. There must have still been powdered sugar in the air, because out of nowhere her nose began to prickle. She barely had time to register the sensation before it drove out a sneeze so forceful she nearly bumped her forehead against the steering wheel. Something warm pooled near her crotch and for one terrifying moment she thought she may have actually pissed herself, but she was relieved to find it was just some coffee that had spilled from her cup. Relief turned to anger when she realized that Jake was laughing.

"Wait, so are you lifting the ban on sneezing?" he asked. "Because I can totally get that other guy back here. And what about the 'no mess' rule? It looks like you spilled a little somethi-"

She drained the rest of her coffee and chucked the cup at his head.

[RiversD]

Okay, all of these are beautiful. Jake comforting Amy after some bad crap? Yesplz. Jake/Rosa car journey shenanigans? YES. Jake being a cute, sleepy, morning-sneezy mess of a human being? Go straight to heaven and do not pass go.

I can't really select parts of the first one to talk about because the parts of it that made my chest go tight and my brain go mushy are pretty much all of it, bits and pieces working together to create a general atmosphere of awwwh.

The second one is my favourite, for many reasons and only partly influenced by the fact that morning sneezers are the cutest and must be protected. Your descriptions of Jake's sneezes are also the best.

It was usually just two to start, so unrestrained that they made the bed frame shake.

You're killing me here. And three cheers for that definitely-coming-because-it-always-does-only-slower sneeze. And then you throw in extra sneezes on top of an established sneeze pattern? Tiny bundle of warm happies right here.

I also adore the picture you paint of their relationship here. It's like- they're comfortable with each other, but almost consciously so? Like the comfort itself is new to them. It melts me.

You've slept together three times, you've wanted to for months, and he has no problem touching you, she thought to herself. Don't be afraid to touch him.

Amyyyyyyyyyy!

And then in 3- you write such a good Rosa voice, like wow.

"Why do you think I buy these things?"

"To ingest enough sugar to sustain a constant state of hyperactivity?"

Okay, all of the dialogue was good, but this bit rang so true as to become gold.

"Oh, another car rule," she said. "No sneezing. Especially not while holding colorful drinks."

Jake regained his focus long enough to look at her in disbelief. He opened his mouth to reply but then he turned away again, closing his eyes tight and pressing his knuckles against his nose.

I love that he actually obeys her, even when she's not really expecting him to. And that she knows exactly how he acts when he sorta has to sneeze but isn't quite there yet.

"Wait, so are you lifting the ban on sneezing?" he asked. "Because I can totally get that other guy back here.

Okay, this was both hilarious and hot.

TL:DR- You rock, and your drabbles are adorable as heck.

[Anonymouse]

Arrhhhmmehgerd RiversD, your comment made my day! I am also a fan of morning sneezes (obviously) and people who always have that little bonus sneeze that lags behind and just sort of bothers the shit out of them til it comes. I think I could easily reach my goal just writing about these three. I have some half-written Agents of SHIELD and I'm sure there will be some Agent Carter as I get caught up, maybe even X-Files as I work through the series. Thanks again for your comment and for reading. To everyone reading have a lovely night/day/whatever it is where you are. I may post more soon but I have some other stuff I should be writing.

[Evilduckling108]

Oh, wow these are awesome!! I've only seen a few episodes of B99 here and there, but I've been meaning to watch more anyway and I think this might be the catalyst I was waiting for. I absolutely love your drabbles! They're so sweet and a little bit funny and just fun to read. I'm excited to see more! (And if you do end up doing any Agent Carter or X-files I might just die of happiness )

[stephab13]

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Jake and Rosa FTW. They are adorable. This was adorable. I love their dynamic. I love the allusions to Rosa's history... and to Jake and Rosa's too? The sniffle?

It's great. I really needed to read something lighthearted and this is just gorgeous.

[Bruyere]

These are great. You have such a wonderful grasp on the characters. I loved Amy apologising for sneaking out onto the roof when access was forbidden! Jake's morning sneezes are great too.

"Wait, so are you lifting the ban on sneezing?" he asked. "Because I can totally get that other guy back here. And what about the 'no mess' rule? It looks like you spilled a little somethi-"

Hee! Poor Rosa!

[Anonymouse]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I hope you like this next one... happy spring!  Here's some seasonally allergic Jake Peralta.

4.

Jake was not having a good day. It was barely noon and he already had pigeon use his jacket as a toilet, lost a twenty dollar bill, and dropped his ice cream cone. It was also the first day of spring, which meant his allergies were acting up. Amy was beginning to suspect he had some sort of curse on him. "I don't want you jinxing this," she said from the opposite end of a park bench.

They were staking out in  Commodore Barry Park, keeping their eyes and ears open for a drug deal that was rumored be taking place that afternoon. Jake tried to hide himself casually behind a newspaper he bought with Amy's pity change. Of course, keeping with the theme of the day, the paper was missing the sports section, the only part he planned on reading.

"Don't worry," he said. "If I don't move from this spot, nothing bad will happen. What are the chances of getting crapped on twice?"

"Pretty high, considering the pigeon population in this city."

"Okay, Amy, I'm going to need more positive thoughh… heh’DShhu! IHShh!"

A quick, efficient sniffle and he was right back to the conversation, but Amy want going to let that slide without comment. "Okay, Peralta," she interrupted. "I said I'd give you ten and you've gone over your limit."

"Nooo," he whined as she began digging through her purse for the antihistamines. "That was only eight."

She stopped to count them. "Three in the car, four by the fountain, two when we got the paper, and the two just now."

"Wow, Rain Man, thank you for keeping track but I told you those first two were coughs, remember?"

"And that's better because…?"

"Because, the de-... the deal was..."

Amy watched with smug satisfaction as his expression went hazy, his voice fading. He caught the look in her eyes and seemed to fight harder against the urge, but his fortitude crumbled when she presented him with a small travel pack of tissues. The promise of relief, however temporary, was far too great to sacrifice in the name of stubborn pride. Pulling out half the supply, Jake buried his face in the soft white tissues and bucked forward with two harsh but satisfying sneezes.

"Bless you," Amy said, holding out the Benadryl tablet. "Would you like Gatorade or-"

"Gatorade," he croaked, dutifully taking the pill and chased it with a sip of blue liquid.

[Anonymouse]

I'm on a hayfever kick apparently... here's some sneezy Clint, with more to follow. 

---

5.

This wasn't how Natasha pictured their week off. She liked to sleep in late when she could, but Clint’s allergies were making that impossible. To his credit, he took his sneezing to the other side of the apartment the first two mornings, but he was so loud it made no difference to her if he was next to her or in the kitchen. If anything she preferred to have him nearby, and she told him so.

Clint had a different tactic this morning; he was able to stifle the first few sneezes without disturbing her, but she awoke and turned over when they began shaking the bed. "Clint," she murmured, as he pinched his nose to keep another from escaping.

"Sorry, I tr-hh... hh-EHkntchx! -- tried dot to-- ehKNxsh!!"

"Shh…" Natasha pushed herself into a semi-prone position so she could rub his shoulders. "Just let them out."

Another shiver ran through his body and he shook his head slightly, eyes half closed and glazed over. With her free hand Natasha grabbed the tissue box off the bedside table, dropping it in Clint's lap. "First three are on the house, but I charge extra for every one you use after."

He gave her a wobbly smile before ducking into his clenched fist with a restrained "EHShh!" Tearing a handful of tissues from the box, he tried to head off the next impending sneeze with a vigorous blow. And he was successful, for the moment at least.

Natasha took this opportunity to roll out of bed with acrobatic grace, landing on her feet and walking straight into the bathroom. There was a blister pack of antihistamines on the bottom shelf. She grabbed them and filled a Dixie cup with sink water.

"Take," she ordered, shoving the cup and the medicine in his face when she was sure he wouldn't sneeze again for at least fifteen seconds.

He could be just as finicky about medication as she was sometimes, but after three straight days of misery, even Clint had to admit it was time for some chemical relief. Taking the pill, he popped it out from the plastic and foil and chased it down with some lukewarm water. He endured another few dozen sneezes before he became woozy and passed out. Medicine only ever knocked him on his ass, but at least it gave him a few solid hours of reprieve. Natasha rested her arm against his chest, relishing the feeling of breaths that were finally steady. Maybe she would get to sleep in a bit after all.

[darkness-is-the-light]

Life has been very cruel lately, but this helps me. The relationship Clint and Natasha have in this is adorable. If you squint it almost seems like they're a normal couple, even though they're not technically normal or a couple. Besides that, you capture their personalities with your wizard ways. I honestly need to learn from you. 

[Anonymouse]

Aww, thank you, Sophie. I hope stuff gets easier for you... Here's another one to help you through it.

6.

It was past noon when Natasha woke up again. She was irritated when she found the other side of the bed vacant, and even more so to find the door to the balcony slightly ajar. Without making a sound she tumbled off the bed, peering out the glass door to make sure there wasn't any danger awaiting her on the balcony, but it was only Barton.

He was sitting in one of the two plastic lawn chairs, with a tissue box on the ground between the chair legs and a glass of lemon water on the small mosaic table. Natasha knocked gently, also knocking the door open a few more inches. Clint glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her, an invitation to join him outside. Indulging in a stretch and a long yawn, she made her way into the filtered sunlight and warm spring air outside. A cool, fragrant breeze greeted her as she took a seat next to her partner.

He has a funny look on his face; it was obvious he had to sneeze and was fighting like hell not to. "Why on Earth," she said, "are you out here surrounding yourself with the very thing that's making you miserable?"

"Exposure," he said breathlessly. “It's supposed to h'ehh... help reduce the severity of the allergic reakchud."

Natasha shook her head, grateful she had Dr. Banner on speed dial if necessary. "Now I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that's not how it works."

Glancing over at Clint, she found his gaze straying to the faint glow of the sun blocked by an overcast sky. He flicked his thumb against his nose a few times, then pushed it against the cusp of his right nostril, mashing the malleable appendage to the side. His lips parted slowly as his breath began to hitch, his right eyelid fluttering just a bit more than the left one. As an observer, Natasha could pinpoint exactly where the irritation was at its most intense; she wished she could help him alleviate it, but was powerless to do more than stare unabashedly as he hitched his way to another sneeze.

"ahh’HEHSHHhha!! hehh--" His nose crinkled up, but his breathing held steady. Natasha had just enough time to grab the box of Kleenex and pass a cluster of tissues his way before the next one erupted without warning. "EHHFSHHhha!"

She granted him a single "bud'zdorov" in response, but he still wasn't finished. "Greedy," she mumbled as his chest rose, nostrils flaring definitively.

"EHDZSHhh! hahh'IHDSzhuu!! heh-... AKSCHhoo!"

"Jesus."

He secured his nose in the tissues and blew. Natasha considered the air conditioned interior of the apartment.

"Maybe you should get back inside."

"Yeah..."

[Anonymouse]

Why is editing posts so hard on my phone Sorry everyone. I'll probably be posting a new drabble soon so stay tuned.

[darkness-is-the-light]

That's not fun. But to help, your last drabble was well written. Of course Clint would sit outside where the trigger to his allergies was. Sometimes he has no logic. It's a good thing he has Natasha there to correct him in the times where he's too confident in his abilities that will likely fail him in the end. 

[RiversD]

4. was funny and cute as heck. Poor Jake. I enjoyed your descriptions of his struggle, though, so sympathy is mitigated . I also liked how Amy was being mildly superstious and her super organised self- giving Jake a sneezing limit before he had to take meds is very her.

5. and 6. were super adorable. I love the dynamic you have between them, and I enjoy the route you take with Hawkeye's character. I like how he's doing stuff like sitting outside for a sort-of logical reason, and how done with everything Natasha is.

[Anonymouse]

Sophie, what an accurate assessment. You'll see in this next Avengers one that Natasha saves the day yet again.

RiversD, aww thank you! I'm glad you liked them. If you can't tell, I love it when the boys act dumb (even though Jake and Clint are actually pretty smart) and the girls have to help them out.

Now for two more drabbles because at this rate I'll never reach my goal. First is about my F/F OCs (please heed the trigger warning), second is The Avengers in honor of me finally getting to see Civil War tomorrow. I do want to note that I wasn't originally planning on going beyond the one shot with Delilah (Ophelia was always intended to be an ongoing character) but she kind of took on a life of her own. For those of you who like visuals, here's Ophelia and here's Delilah. Same ladies who are currently in my icon with the kittens. 

Trigger warnings for drabble #7: Mentions of mental illness and faking suicidal ideation as a manipulative tactic (in the past tense). My characters can be problematic and for that I apologize, but I feel like it makes them more realistic.

---

7.

It didn't occur to Ophelia until just now, as she listened to the second heartbeat thrumming in her ear, that Delilah was her childhood sweetheart. The hospital was their summer camp, the small courtyard full of dead things where they got into fist fights and shared their first kiss. Delilah was like the proverbial boy on the playground, tugging the pigtails of the girl she secretly liked. Her mother warned her plenty about boys, but Ophelia never learned how to stay away from girls like her.

"You know," Delilah said, stroking her long fingers through Ophelia’s hair, "I used to tell my parents I'd kill myself just so I could get to the hospital to see you."

"How did you know I'd be there?"

Delilah merely chuckled, smiling down at Ophelia as if she were the sweetest thing she'd ever seen. It so was nice to be looked at like that she didn't even care that she didn't get an answer. She pulled Delilah’s other arm around her and nuzzled deeper into her embrace, closing her eyes and just enjoying the warmth of another human being.

It was never like this. She didn't mind how it usually was, but Ophelia cherished these rare moments of calm, when the voices were like the murmur of a distant stream and Delilah had nothing but nice things to say and everything was warm and comfortable.

Delilah shifted to readjust her position, taking care not to disturb the woman curled up in her arms. She still somehow managed to accidentally bump Ophelia on the nose with her elbow. When she realized her mistake she was quick with an apology, but Ophelia was already pulling away from her, rubbing her nose and scrunching her eyes shut.

"Shit, did I hurt-" Delilah started, stopping when Ophelia gasped softly.

Two squeaky, stifled sneezes followed, bringing a blush of exertion and embarrassment to her cheeks. Instead of making a joke, Delilah wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her back against her body, kissing the top of her head. "Bless you."

Ophelia melted at the words, filling the mold of her arms as she relaxed. "Thank you."

-----

In the tradition of having Natasha manually induce sneezes from a clogged-up Clint, I give you drabble number eight.

8.

He woke up as clogged as a gutter packed with wet leaves. When she asked how he was feeling, his reply was a consonant-heavy "Sludgy."

"You sound disgusting," Natasha said bluntly.

Clint groaned. "I cad’t evid breathe, how ab I goig to-"

"If you say one word about the mission again, I'll kill you before this flu does. You're not going. Get over it."

With another groan he slouched against the headframe, grabbing the tissue box off the side table and holding it in his lap. Natasha amused herself with the idea of Barton joining the team tomorrow, stuffing tissues in his clutch with his arrows and stifling sneezes over the coms. There was no way any of them allow him to leave the base, let alone go on a mission in this state.

Clint distracted her from her thoughts with a sudden and trembling intake of breath. She turned to watch him expectantly as his chest swelled, nostrils flaring and eyes squinting shut. He managed to jostle a tissue free from its cardboard prison and held it at the ready a few inches from his face. One more huge breath contorted his features, making his jaw go slack, and then... nothing.

"Fuuugk," he breathed, almost whining with need as he slumped further down the headboard. "Lost it."

"Shall I sent a search team?"

Clint would have snorted with laughter if his nose wasn't so impossibly blocked. "I could use a little help," he said as he glanced at her sideways, his expression almost bashful. "If you dote bide."

"Of course not," she said, curling up closer and resting her palm against his hot cheek. "I live for these moments."

Without further ado she began scratching one nail gently along the arch of his left nostril, then the right, making figure eights around both openings until they began to widen in response. Taking this as an invitation, she dipped her fingertip into his right nostril, trailing the hard edge of her nail against the sensitive, swollen membranes within. His lips parted gradually as she did her work, eyes sliding shut and nostrils flaring wider every second. They trembled violently as he drew in a sudden, ragged breath, giving Natasha just enough warning to duck out of the way as he released a harsh "AHSSHHHeww!" that misted the air in front of him.

She waited to bless him, knowing he never stopped at just one. Especially not when he was this sick and itchy. He turned to look at her, his expression helpless and hazy. As much as she hated seeing him suffer like this, there was something strangely tantalizing about getting to see her partner in such a vulnerable state.

"Dat, I haa-- hah'ADSCHHZhew!" He snapped his head away from her, ducking to spray his lap instead. "AHSHHhheh'ASHHOO! hahh... heh!..."

Natasha saw that he was struggling with the last one and decided to lend a helping hand - literally. She barely touched the side of his nose with the tip of her pinky finger when a fifth sneeze came tearing out of him, bringing with it everything that had been gunked up inside of him. "ehKZCHHH!"

Sniffling, he tore one tissue out to catch the immediate aftermath, then supplemented it with about five more. He squeezed his nose a few times through the cloth to eliminate any tickly traces before blowing. The congestion filled the tissues in a gurgly discharge, and when he tried breathing through his nose again, the air moved in and out with ease.

"Bless you," Natasha said at last.

"You should be a doctor," Clint said. "That did more than any pill I've ever taken. Felt pretty damn good, too."

"Glad I could be of service," she replied, dropping her legs over the side of the bed. "Now rest up and maybe you can play with us next time."

He looked disappointed when he saw her standing up. "Where are you going?"

"I don't want to get sick on the mission," she said, pulling on her shirt. "It might be too late but I don't want to tempt fate by sticking around any longer now that you're blasting the place with your germs."

"Hey, you're the one who unclogged me." She didn't acknowledge him as she finished dressing and searched for her phone. "Stay just a little longer? I promise I won't sneeze on you."

"Bye, Barton," Natasha said firmly, giving him a gentle kiss on the nose before leaving.

She smiled to herself when she heard him launch into a new sneezing fit. Fighting the temptation to turn around and watch, she pressed forward and let the apartment door close behind her.

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

Besides salivating over the names in drabble 7, it was overall adorable. I love when characters are simply in love with each other.

[darkness-is-the-light]

I always love your Clintasha drabbles. They're absolutely perfect in characterization and voice. It's even better to imagine when there's word of a possible Black Widow movie in the future.

[RiversD]

Aww, nose-bump sneezes. Cutie pies.

'Tasha manually inducing sneezes will never not be super-smoking hot. Also, sending a search team, indeed. Nice one.

On 19/05/2016 at 7:45 PM, AnonyMeows said:

She waited to bless him, knowing he never stopped at just one. Especially not when he was this sick and itchy.

ububu. This is so many things that I love.

Also, mega-love for Clint's sneeze-sounds in this. This one in particular melted my brain:

On 19/05/2016 at 7:45 PM, AnonyMeows said:

"Dat, I haa-- hah'ADSCHHZhew!"

That was such a good (although you're such a tease) ending, too. Super good job!

[Anonymouse]

Thanks Kaze! They were both inspired by songs by The Lumineers and Florence + the Machine.

Thank you Sophie and RIGHT IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME. I'm not happy with the direction they are taking Clint's personal life in the movies and AoU was a mess for Widow.

RiversD thanks for your lovely comment! It's amazingly hot because Natasha is so domineering and Clint is usually desperate for relief only she can give him. It was inspired by Garnet's indescribably amazing Clintasha fic from back in the day, as well as something I read more recently.

Here's some Broad City (told you birches I'd write my own)!

9.

"Do you ever wonder why butterflies have to be caterpillars first?" Abbi's eyes were glazed but wise, like a sleepy owl's. "They waste all that time in the cocoon and they don't even live that long to begin with... you know?"

Ilana was upside-down, her hair splayed across the bed and her feet propped above their heads. She turned hers to look at Abbi for a good long while, her gaze channeling a psychoanalytic level of intensity.

"Is this about the time you got stuck in that sleeping bag? Because I know an amazing trauma therapist."

"No, I'm just... curious about animals and stuff." Slumping back against the wall, Abbi scowled and hugged her pug pillow to her chest. "I miss my Nat Geo subscription. I used to learn so much."

"At least you still have Animal Planet."

"I guess."

"I know stuff, too," Ilana said, flexing her toes to admire her biannual pedicure from her new perspective. "Did you know that koalas, or kangaroos..."

"Koalas or kangaroos?"

"Shut up, they're both marsupials," Ilana said, giving Abbi a nudge with her elbow. She could feel a sneeze coming on and she wanted to finish what she had to say before it interrupted. "Anyway, the babies aren't fully formed when they're born. So the mommy squeezes 'em out-" She does a semi-squat against the wall for dramatic effect, pulling invisible pups from her crotch. "-and they crawl up into her pouch and finish cooking in there."

Abbi grinned, nodding her head slowly up and down. "Awesome."

"I know, right?" Ilana smirked at the ceiling but then screwed up her face, closing one eye and focusing on the overhead light with the other. "I read that ihh-nNxsh! a magazine at the old people dentist."

"Why were you at the old people dentist?"

"I was there with Trudy," said Ilana, fluttering her eyelashes deliberately this time. "I'm her visiting angel."

Abbi shook her head. "I can't believe they let you take care of an old lady."

"I don't take care of her." Ilana rubbed at her nose, trying to roll over but failing, like a stranded turtle. "I provide companionshihh-- hnk-chsh! Shit."

Abbi barked out a laugh. "Companionshit?"

Ilana glanced up at her from behind her webbed fingers. She sniffled wetly, rubbed at her nose, and then held her hand out to Abbi. "Help me up, bitch, I need a tissue.

"Are you getting sick?" It was rare for Ilana to sneeze more than once within a twenty four hour period, unless she was sick. "I'm not touching you until you wash your hands."

"But I can't get up to..."

"In fact, I don't think we should be breathing the same air until I can be certain..."

"Abbi, I'm-" But before she could finish Abbi grabbed the bags of snacks and boltss with both of their growlers. "Aww, dammihh'tchh! DAMMIT."

[Zwee]

Aaaahhh my god! It's kind of exactly what I wanted/needed!! Basically reads like the opening of an episode, and a great one at that. Love the "Nat Geo" thing and Ilana mixing up koalas and kangaroos! 

And I laughed out loud at the end.

That was wonderful!! 

(P.S. Your signature... it's mesmerizing.)

[happybunny]

I don't know what show these charachters are from but these drabbles are captivating!

[Anonymouse]

I hope it's okay if I cross-posted this drabble to the Overwatch thread. I wanted to contribute there while still adding to my drabble count here. I'm so far behind eeep.

10.

"You must be more careful."

Fareeha was used to Angela fussing over her, just as the doctor was accustomed to her warnings falling on deaf ears. This time it was a poorly executed jump that landed Pharah in the medical bay, with a bruised collar bone and at least two fractured ribs. She was a frequent flyer in every sense of the word; Angela swore this must her fifth or sixth visit this month, and vowed to check her chart again after she left to confirm. The doctor suspected there were even more injuries that went unreported. If Fareeha wasn't so firmly committed to her duties, Angela would be certain that she had a death wish.

She pressed her fingers gently into the notches between her patient's ribs, checking for more fractures or breaks. "How does this feel?" she asked, watching her face for any subtle changes in expression that might indicate pain.

Wincing, Fareeha sucked in a hissing breath between clenched teeth. Angela withdrew her hand, adding another rib to the "fractured" category on her mental checklist. She had kept her fingers there just long enough to feel the irregularities in the bone, and the rise and fall of Pharah’s breaths, ragged with pain. Now the doctor palpated along the softly defined ridges of her abdomen, checking for more internal injuries.

Fareeha sniffled once as Angela conducted her examination. She drew in another quick breath, through her mouth this time, dark eyes crinkling as she tried to keep them focused on the doctor. Angela felt her tan belly rise against her own milky white palm as she continued her poking and prodding, Pharah taking two more breaths in quick succession. She brought a hand up to press against her flaring nostrils, bracing the other around her broken and battered middle.

"I'm gonna--" she managed urgently, before interrupting herself with desperate, high-pitched gasp. "ah'tchh! hahh!... ahh'TCHh!"

Angela cringed with sympathy for her friend, who wrapped her arms around her waist and bent forward with her eyes squeezed shut and lips tightly pursed. Finally a small moan escaped her lips, her head ducked in defeat. Angela rubbed her back gently and Fareeha relaxed a bit, straightening up hesitantly.

"Some painkillers would be nice," she said breathlessly.

The doctor was already filling out a script. "You've got it."