Roast Yourself

[Emily]

roast: (as a verb) To humorously mock or humiliate someone with a well-timed joke, diss or comeback. 

A good roast leaves you laughing at yourself and others, and probably not reduced to tears. With that said, please do not reduce yourself to tears when you roast yourself because that is bad roast etiquette. It's a great way to give yourself a little boost of ironic self confidence. It's great to be able to laugh at yourself, and it's also fantastic when you're self-aware of your own shortcomings. Call yourself out, make fun of all the weird things you do, roast your ass good.

I don't actually know how this is going to work so this will be a hodgepodge of things I'd call myself out on.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I do standup comedy but they only know me as the hemorrhoid girl because I only have jokes about my hemorrhoids. And that would be okay if I did anything else other than talk at length about hemorrhoids, except it's starting to look like I absolutely don't. I spend all my time at school waking up to do homework or waking up to cook low-budget Japanese food for my Japanese club, but I have zero motivations to find a decent job or internship instead. I also wrote this post over the span of two weeks because I couldn't figure out how to roast myself without thinking of the roast yourself raps all the cool and hip young Youtubers are doing, and I do not know how to make this a written rap. 

Actually that's a great a idea. Make a Vocaroo of you roasting yourself if you'd like to do this in audio form. I'll be back to roast myself properly later. For now, the thread is finally up!

(I misspelled 'roast' as 'raost' more than three times over the course of this short and pathetic roast.)