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Yard work sneezes


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--Warning-- If you're grossed out by descriptions of messy sneezes and mucus, you probably don't want to read this obs.  I go pretty in depth into those topics--

     A couple days ago, it was time for me to tidy up the yard again.  This meant doing lots of clipping, trimming, mowing...you know, the usual stuff.  Of all the activities, mowing is easily the messiest.  Despite their being a bag on the mower, everything from clouds of dirt, tiny bits of cut grass, and dandelion seeds manages to get kicked up into the air, and this time was no different.  It didn't take long after I'd started mowing to hit the first dry patch of dirt, which was sent billowing into the air.  I could smell the dirt when I breathed in, and knew that the tiny particles were swirling through my nasal passages, and being caught by the mucus layer.  But my nose absorbed this debris with no apparent complaints, and I continued mowing.  Small bits of cut grass were routinely flung into the air by the mower.  When I looked at my arms, they were covered in tiny grass bits.  Any of these bits that might have been drawn into my nose would likely be stopped by the filter of hairs inside my nostrils.  But I was aware that this filter isn't perfect, and that there was always the possibility that a piece could slip by.  

     By the time I was about halfway through, I noticed that my nose was beginning to get runny.  This was happening because my nose was attempting to wash out the dirt and other particles inside it with extra mucus.  I sniffed occasionally, and continued mowing as usual.  More dirt was occasionally kicked up, more debris was thrown into the air, but my nose seemed to be coping, its normal cleaning mechanisms apparently up to the challenge.  But just as I was nearing the end of the mow, something changed.  It could be that too much dirt finally built up in my nose for it to handle, or maybe a bit of cut grass or a dandelion seed got past my nose hairs, but either way, the result was the same.  I suddenly felt an incredibly intense tickle deep inside my nose that stopped me in my tracks.  The tickle rapidly became unbearably strong as it expanded and filled my entire nose.  Nearly immediately, I felt an overwhelming urge to sneeze.  I let the mower go off, casting the yard into silence.  For a moment I just stood there, my breaths deepening, my nostrils flaring, my eyes beginning to close as the sneeze approached.  My head tipped back as I took in a huge breath, filling my lungs to the brim.  I felt muscles all over my body powerfully contract, compressing the air in my lungs, putting it under extreme pressure, and causing me to bend a little at the waist.  Simultaneously, my nasal lining was secreting mucus as fast as it could, further flooding my already runny nose.

     And then, it happened.  The air in my lungs was released, and a microsecond later, came blasting out of my nose and mouth, taking thousands of droplets of saliva and mucus along with it.  A loud, uncovered, wet sounding UH-ECHHH!!! echoed throughout the yard as the sneeze came to a climax.  As always happens, the majority of the air exploded out of my mouth, expelling a cloud of countless tiny droplets.  The rest of the air tore through my, congested nasal passages, causing mucus to be ejected from my flared nostrils, and carried away with the blast leaving my mouth.  Inside each drop of mucus were the particles of dirt and other debris i'd been breathing in since I'd started mowing.  However, most of the mucus was not blown out, and was instead shifted by the blast toward the front of my nose.  But in spite of all this, the tickle remained, just as intense as ever.  Whatever was causing the tickle hadn't been dislodged, and was still lurking somewhere in my nasal passages.  Almost as soon as the first sneeze had finished, I took in another huge, lung-filling breath.  All I could think about was how badly I needed to sneeze again, the urge growing even more desperate after the failure of the first sneeze.  I felt muscles all over my body contract even more powerfully, building up the pressure needed for an even bigger sneeze.  Then, as before, the air was suddenly released from my lungs, and came exploding out of my nose and mouth with greater force.  A louder, wetter sounding ECHHHH!!! echoed throughout the yard.  As the air from this sneeze rushed through my nasal passages, it forced out whatever mucus was in its way, and sent much of it bursting from my nostrils.  In all likelihood, whatever had been causing the tickle was ejected from my nose as well, because the tickle had disappeared by the time the sneeze was through.  A huge sense of relief passed over me.  My sneezes had accomplished their objective and cleared my nose.  I quickly ran inside and grabbed some paper towels to clean myself up and finished by thoroughly blowing my very wet nose.  I then went back outside, restarted the mower, and finished the small patch of grass left, but unfortunately, with no more sneezes.


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You would be a perfect candidate for carrying a handkerchief, at least to mop up the aftermath. Less interruption to the job, and who knows, maybe staying outside would keep the sneezes continuing.

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Man, this was so great to read!!! I love your biological descriptions of you in the process of sneezing! Bless you!

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