MoonDuck Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Last year I started writing a House fanfiction in the format of a television episode script. I felt motivated to write more, so this happened. I'm not sure of its accuracy compared to an actual script, but I tried my best here. Let me know what you think of this! I would really appreciate any feedback at all, especially since I haven't done anything like this before. It may be easier to read here: https://www.scribd.com/mobile/document/334750103/House-M-D-1 but since I don't really have faith in website maintaining files for me, I've copied and pasted it below. Teaser FADE IN: INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT AILEEN and LEXI are sitting on the couch with papers and pens spread across the coffee table in front of them. AILEEN looks at the clock impatiently. AILEEN How long do we have to do this? LEXI However long it takes to finish reviewing the next two chapters. My parents are going to ground me if I don’t get pull up my grade with this next test. AILEEN Come on, like, we’ve been at it for hours already. I want to go home. LEXI (playfully) No, stay, I need you for emotional support. JOSEPH, LEXI’S younger brother, runs through the living room with underwear on his head laughing hysterically. AILEEN stares at him, jaw dropped. LEXI (sighing) Sorry, just ignore him. He’ll go away if we don’t pay him any attention. AILEEN (in awe) No way. LEXI What? I don’t s— AILEEN This totally happened already. I saw it. Uh, in my dream. LEXI Seriously? AILEEN I’ll tell you about it when we take a study break. LEXI looks at her skeptically, eager to know more but also paranoid AILEEN was pulling her leg. She reaches for the snack bowl but realizes it’s empty. LEXI (reluctantly) Ten minutes. AILEEN Yes! LEXI One second, I’ll get some more chips. LEXI walks to the kitchen quickly, taking the empty bowl with her. She returns moments later to see AILEEN lying on the ground, arms and legs sprawled out. LEXI drops the bowl and rushes to AILEEN, pushing her brother away. LEXI Aileen? Aileen! Wake up! LEXI shakes AILEEN, who is completely unresponsive with her eyes rolled back into her head. LEXI picks up the phone and dials 911. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - HOUSE’S MEETING OFFICE - 9:30AM HOUSE walks in, later than usual, holding a box of tissues. CHASE and FOREMAN look up at him from where they sit at the table, looking through a stack of case files. CAMERON reads through the file she holds. CAMERON Eighteen-year-old fe— HOUSE Is she hot? HOUSE blows his nose loudly. CAMERON stares at him. CAMERON (Slowly) Female with sudden onset of paralysis. HOUSE Boring. CAMERON E.R. didn’t find anything wrong with her. All the tests came back clean. CAMERON stands up and walks over to HOUSE, suspicious of his flushed cheeks. HOUSE makes an effort to avoid CAMERON and push her away, but with his hands full, the back of her hand reaches his cheek. CAMERON House, you’re burning up! You shouldn’t be working at the hospital. HOUSE waves CAMERON away. HOUSE How about you focus on the patient instead? FOREMAN She passed out for six hours, completely unexplained. CHASE Maybe she was on drugs? FOREMAN No, her tox screen was clear. CAMERON And she claims she has visions that predict the future, successfully. FOREMAN It’s probably something neurological. HOUSE ...Says the neurologist. Chase, Foreman, test her hair. Get an MRI. Cameron, I have a special job for you. CHASE and FOREMAN exit. CAMERON curiously follows HOUSE to the desk in the corner. HOUSE pulls a stack of paper from the drawer and drops it on the desk. HOUSE Paperwork. Cuddy wants it done by five o’clock. CAMERON sits down, annoyed. House turns to the side, coughing. CAMERON House, y— HOUSE begins to walk away. HOUSE I’m not going home! HOUSE exits. CAMERON stares at him as he walks away, trying to piece together a reason he would be so set on staying at work. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - CLINIC - 10:00AM A woman sits on the examination table holding a young BOY in her arms. Her nose is bright red. HOUSE Hello... HOUSE opens the case file and sits back on an empty chair in the exam room. HOUSE Claudia. What brings you here today? CLAUDIA I woke up and my nose was pink, but I’m not sick! HOUSE lifts a hand, telling her to pause, and scrunches up his face. CLAUDIA stares at him. He quickly pulls out a tissue from the box still tucked under his arm and holds it to his nose, letting out a loud sneeze. The BOY covers his ears, and CLAUDIA cringes. CLAUDIA My son had the flu last week, so I was wondering if this had anything to do with it. HOUSE (Sniffling) Do you like to color? CLAUDIA I— HOUSE Not you, your son. BOY (Excitedly) I’m going to be a people-drawer when I grow up! HOUSE Sure... HOUSE slides over to the sink in his chair, grabs a paper towel, and wets it. He hands it to CLAUDIA. HOUSE It’s paint. He probably painted it on while you were asleep. BOY (Giggling) Mommy’s Rudolph! CLAUDIA turns away from HOUSE, frowning. CLAUDIA I’m not touching that tissue, it has your germs all over it. Don’t you doctors have some sense of hygiene? BOY Cooties! HOUSE Okay, you can wash it off yourself. Sliding in his chair again, HOUSE throws away the paper towel and reaches for his cane. HOUSE stands. CLAUDIA What about my nose rash? Isn’t there anything you can give me for it? HOUSE (Over his shoulder) It washes off. HOUSE slams the door shut before he can argue with the woman any further. He coughs into his fist as he returns the case file, and a nurse glares at him. HOUSE What, do you have something against sick people? HOUSE turns and walks away as quickly as he can, hoping to avoid seeing CUDDY and dealing with any more patients. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - PATIENT’S ROOM - 11:30AM AILEEN is asleep in her bed when CHASE and FOREMAN enter the room. LEXI, who had been reading a textbook off to the side, sits upright. LEXI Is she okay? What’s wrong? FOREMAN I’m afraid we aren’t sure yet, we still need to run some tests. CHASE stands next to AILEEN, adjusting her IV. AILEEN slowly opens her eyes, focusing on the doctor standing beside her. AILEEN (Flirting) Are you my doctor? CHASE I’m one of your doctors, there’s a group of us working on your case. FOREMAN We’re going to give you an MRI and ask you some questions for a medical history. Are your parents coming? AILEEN They should get here in a couple of hours. They work kind of far away from here. CHASE I’m also going to need a hair sample. AILEEN Why? Do you think I’m on dr– AILEEN’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, and her body convulsed. LEXI screamed. FOREMAN She’s seizing! Push ten milligrams of Ativan. CHASE reached into the set of drawers and pulled out a syringe. He quickly pushed it into her I.V. AILEEN stopped moving almost immediately after, lying completely still. CHASE House should like this. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - WILSON’S OFFICE - 12:00PM WILSON walks into his office and sees HOUSE lying on his couch asleep. WILSON slams the door loudly and startles HOUSE awake. HOUSE (groggily) You know, it’s rude to wake people up like that. WILSON You do have your own office. HOUSE There’s someone from the clinic waiting for me in my office. HOUSE sits up. He sneezes into his hand. He pulls a crumpled tissue from his jacket pocket and blows his nose. He throws it at the trash can and misses. HOUSE She has some complaint about me being too unhygienic to be a doctor. WILSON You’re sick. HOUSE How could you tell, Sherlock? WILSON approaches HOUSE, looking at him closely. HOUSE’S entire face is flushed. WILSON raises an eyebrow. WILSON You’re running a temperature. HOUSE Yeah, yeah, it’s probably just that bug going around the office. I’m fine. WILSON (frowning) Why are you here? You’d be itching to go home if you had the excuse. HOUSE I bet Foreman twenty bucks that I could get my clinic hours in this week. It’s Friday, and I still have three more to go. WILSON So what? It’s just twenty dollars. HOUSE It’s not the money, it’s the principle. I’m winning that twenty dollars. Speaking of which, it’s time for me to finish my nap in the clinic. HOUSE stands, leaning heavily on his cane and wobbling slightly. WILSON steps forward and grabs his arm, steadying him, but lets go when HOUSE glares at him. HOUSE walks toward the door, ready to leave, but stops before he can reach the handle, on the verve of sneezing. WILSON bends over and picks up a box of tissues. WILSON You forgot this. WILSON walks over and plucks out a tissue, offering it to HOUSE, but HOUSE instead sneezes freely, aiming downward. WILSON groans and pulls his hand back, but not quickly enough. HOUSE Oh, be quiet. HOUSE takes the tissue from WILSON and blows his nose loudly, throwing it at the trash can and missing again. He holds the box under his arm and exits the room. Link to comment
luckyleprechaun Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 YOU DID IT YOU DID ITOkay, I need to start watching House, seriously. I like this a lot! The whole concept of a script is something I don't usually see on the forum, so this was nice! Link to comment
MyOwnPrivateSFC Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 What lucky said, except replace "watching" with "rewatching"! Link to comment
SneezyHolmes Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 This was great! Holy cats, Batman! I'm such a sucker for a sick and grumpier-than-normal House! Link to comment
TouchOfGrey Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Holy crap that was good! Love House Link to comment
Sophie<3 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 MoonDuck!! House is seriously just one of those fandoms I'm always down for. I mean, I haven't watched an actual episode in ages, but that doesn't even seem to matter. And the script form worked surprisingly well for me! I can picture it as an actual episode and that's just lovely, so a second part would be amazing! Link to comment
jano Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I can totally see House staying at work when he's sick just because of a bet! Can't wait to see more, this is a really cool format of fanfic I haven't seen before. Makes it 10x better because it's House MD ... XD Link to comment
spirkestielgirl87 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 House was my first fanfic I got into (huge sick Chase junkie lol but I love sick House too!). I haven't seen a good House fic on here in ages. I love the script format! It's really feels like an episode. You have the characters down pat. I could really hear them speaking as I read, and they all felt completely in character. I can't wait to read more! Link to comment
Seniorstatus14 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I love it I love it I love it! I love how you formatted it and I can see the episode in my head. Part two? Please Did I mention how much I love it? Link to comment
stifledsneezelover Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 OMG A HOUSE FIC!!!! House is my favorite series of all time and I adore Dr. House, especially a sick and sassy and sneezy Dr. House hoping for a part two if you are up to it Link to comment
sapphiremint Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Ahhh House MD my absolute favorite tv show. I haven't seen anything in ages but this was super great! I love that you wrote it in the style of an episode transcript and am very much looking forward to reading the second part. Link to comment
MoonDuck Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Hi guys! I've come with the final update. You may notice some formatting changes—this is because I found a PDF of a real House script, and some of the things I've learned about writing these are not consistent with it. So I've changed my ways. Sorry that this fic is only the length of a third of a real episode. I have neither the discipline nor ability to write fifty-something pages of this. Enjoy! INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - HOUSE’S MEETING OFFICE - 12:30PM House walks into his office to see Cameron still diligently working on the paperwork and Chase and Foreman reviewing the patient’s file. Cameron looks up when HOUSE enters the room. He pauses in the doorway and walks slowly. CAMERON What are you still doing here? House ignores the question. There were more important things to do than having his team nag him. FOREMAN You really should head home, you don’t look too good. House sits in a chair at the end of the table and rubs his head. As annoying as his team are, they aren’t wrong about him needing rest. He’s silent for a moment, but it builds up to a harsh sneeze into a crumpled tissue. House looks up, his eyes revealing his exhaustion. HOUSE (slowly) Differential diagnosis. His voice is hoarse and thick with congestion. CAMERON House... You can’t work like this. House stands up again, heading towards the door. Sure, if he couldn’t work like this, he’d just leave to finish his nap elsewhere. CHASE Where are you going? HOUSE Clinic. CAMERON (Puzzled) To check yourself in? House stands and shoots a pointed look at Foreman, who just rolls his eyes. FOREMAN No, I bet him he wouldn’t get his clinic hours done this week. HOUSE And Cameron doesn’t seem to like me very much today, so I’ll just head out. FOREMAN Go home already. You lost--pay up. HOUSE (Over his shoulder) Have fun with Ella. The door slams shut behind HOUSE before anyone can say anything. He’s too tired to work on the case anymore, and the bet serves as the perfect excuse to leave without having to admit it to his team. CHASE (under his breath) It’s Aileen. Foreman and Chase exchange a look, unsure of what to do with their patient. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - CLINIC - 12:45PM House walks into the clinic. He walks up to the desk to sign in, turning to the side to cough before speaking. HOUSE Put my name down for twelve-thirty. He picks up the nearest file, quickly peaks at it, and heads over to Exam Room 1. A young woman holding a crying infant looks up when the door opens. HOUSE Missus... House opens the folder for the name, scanning the page slowly. The words are a blur before his dizzy, tired eyes. DAPHNE (Rushing) Jones. I’m Daphne Jones. My daughter has a fever. I’ve given her a Tylenol and she’s still hot. Daphne frowns when he takes a moment to respond, ready to continue talking if needed, but just hugs her baby tightly when he pulls out a tissue to blow his nose, sitting back in a chair. HOUSE How much did you give her? DAPHNE About six drops? I figured that was right for a six-month-old. No wonder she still has a fever. With his tissue still over his nose, House slides back from the patient and sneezes once, then twice. He moves forward again to feel her forehead, but she squirms away. HOUSE Hold her still. DAPHNE Will it hurt her? Daphne is reluctant to trust her daughter with an ill doctor. DAPHNE (CONT’D) Are you contagious? It’s likely, but House just wants the patient to leave so he can get his beauty rest. HOUSE No. Not if you hold her still. She feels cool against his clammy skin, much cooler than his own forehead. HOUSE (CONT’D) What was it before? DAPHNE What? HOUSE Her temperature. DAPHNE Oh! 150. HOUSE Fahrenheit? Daphne shakes her head. DAPHNE Of course not! I measured it in Celsius. Because House was being the absurd one, not her. HOUSE How, exactly, did you do this? DAPHNE With the oven. House sighs. This one patient was taking longer than he would have liked. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - MRI - 1:30PM Foreman and Chase are in the glass room as AILEEN lies in the MRI machine, which thumps loudly in the background, discussing HOUSE, more specifically, his current condition. FOREMAN clicks through the images appearing on the computer screen while CHASE slouches in his chair on the side. CHASE Is House really passing up the opportunity to get out of work for a little bet? FOREMAN Seems like it. CHASE Torture your boss for twenty dollars. Not bad. Chase nods, grinning. It wasn’t often he got to see HOUSE like this. Usually he was fully capable of yelling at his subordinates and making them miserable. This time, the misery was all on him. FOREMAN I can’t really believe he’s staying just to win a bet. CHASE (scoffing) Have you met House? I’d be surprised if he left. FOREMAN Looks like I’ll be down twenty bucks. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - HOUSE’S OFFICE - 2:30PM Cuddy walks into House’s office and looks around. It’s empty. Cameron enters his office from the desk she’d been working at. CUDDY Where’s House? Usually he was sitting back in his chair tossing a ball around or watching the L Word, thinking about his case. CAMERON The clinic, why? Cuddy frowns. She’d been in and out of the clinic all day and hadn’t caught a glimpse of him. CUDDY (In a more irritated tone) There are some things I need to discuss with him. CAMERON He hasn’t been well, I don’t think you should-- Cameron’s attempt to protect House from Cuddy’s wrath is ineffectie. CUDDY Oh, is that is excuse for getting out of work this time? CAMERON Really, he can barely function. Cuddy nods, clearly doubtful, and walks away before Cameron can say anythign more. INT. PRINCETON PLAINSBORO - CLINIC - 3:00PM House is lying on his back on the examination table asleep, albeit restlessly so. His fever makes it impossible to sleep soundly and get the rest he needs. Cuddy opens the door and sees that the room is completely dark. She flips on the lights, exasperated. CUDDY (loudly, intending to wake him up) House. House is conscious now, but he knows better than to respond. With his throbbing headache, he isn’t even sure he can sit up or keep his eyes open. CUDDY (CONT’D) House, you can’t keep doing this. She walks over and stands over him. He opens an eye, leaving the other closed. It’s bloodshot, and there are dark rings under them. HOUSE (rasping) Oh yeah? Says who? The talking sets him off in a coughing fit, forcing House to sit up. He props himself up on his elbows, too weak to simultaneously support himself and cover his mouth. Cuddy is startled to see him this sick, and her tone softens immediately. CUDDY House... Of course, it isn’t long before she resumes her usual stern, administrator tone with HOUSE. CUDDY (CONT’D) What are you doing treating patients? You’re sick! HOUSE Does anything I’m doing here make you think that I’m actually treating anyone? Cuddy rolled her eyes, but she knew she shouldn’t have expected him to be doing any actual work in the clinic, especially when he was sick. CUDDY You have a fever. HOUSE No I d-- Cuddy lays a hand across his cheek before he can finish his protest. CUDDY You’re burning up! House hits her hand away. The sudden coolness of her hand in contrast to his warm head is startling, and it sends a strange feeling across his face. He fumbles in his pocket for a tissue, but his hands are trembling, and he can’t fish one out in time. He sneezes into a fist, barely managing to turn away from Cuddy. CUDDY (CONT’D) (Disgusted) What are you doing here? House takes a deep breath and sneezes again, this time into his crumpled tissue, interrupting Cuddy’s lecture. CUDDY (CONT’D) I can’t believe you came in to work like this. House rubbed his head, squinting his eyes shut. With his other hand, he pulled out his Vicodin and popped the bottle open, tossing a pill back. HOUSE You know, this doctor-patient role-play thing we have going now only works if you let me talk, too. CUDDY (Scoffing) Go home. House doesn’t move, only turning his head slightly to look up at her. She was starting to sound like Cameron. HOUSE Your screechy voice is grating. This has no effect on the tone of her speech. CUDDY Go. Home. I’m giving you permission to leave. HOUSE Can’t. Not for another... He looks up at the clock. HOUSE (CONT’D) Half hour. CUDDY And why not? House knows how she’ll react if he admits to his bet with Foreman--She’d kick him of Princeton-Plainsboro herself. HOUSE I... He can’t finish his excuse because he breaks off coughing, which irritates his nose enough that he sneezes in the midst of his fit. Cuddy helps him sit up, and he sneezes again, curling forward, still with Cuddy holding and supporting him. CUDDY I’m not leaving you alone until you go home. They both know he does not have the strength to stay. HOUSE Fine. You owe me twenty dollars. House wants to make a quick exit before she can interrogate him, but he stumbles forward as soon as he stands up. CUDDY I’ll get Wilson to take you home. House nods and nudges her arm away, slowly making his way to the door. He appreciates her care and concern more than he is willing to admit it. Link to comment
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