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Metalocalypse Drabbles (Inspired title, I know)


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Okay, so I know it has been well over a year since I've been on here.  I guess saying I had a dry spell would be the understatement of the century.  Thanks to Hulu I've recently started and finished all of Metalocalypse and oh my god!  It's such an amazing show.  And it has inspired me to come back to actually writing.  So I have "borrowed" a few of some other writer's head canons (AnonyMouse and Masking specifically, thank you!) and have decided to ease myself back into the swing of things by starting a drabble thread.  I've taken one of the most popular lists and I'm working on it in no particular order.  I can't promise when I'll update but hopefully I won't stay gone this long again.


(And I'm sorry, but I ship Nathan and Pickles really a lot and they are a couple more often than not in my stories/drabbles.  Sorry again to people who don't ship them!  And I can't write their various accents, so it will be left to the reader's imaginations.  Also, I doubt this needs to be said, but just in case it does, there will be considerable drug use, violence and swearing in these stories.  There's also mild homophobic language.  If you're at all familiar with the show, you understand why I can't leave them out.  I'm wanting to keep these to the general section, however, so any sex will simply be implied.)


Here is the list.  The underlined ones are the ones I've written out so far. 


1. Introduction  2. Complicated  3. Making History  4. Rivalry  5. Unbreakable 6. Obsession  7.Eternity  8. Gateway  9. Death  10. Opportunities  11. 33%  12. Dead Wrong  13. Running Away 14. Judgment  15. Seeking Solace  16. Excuses  17. Vengeance  18. Love  19. Tears  20. My Inspiration  21. Never Again  22. Online  23. Failure  24. Rebirth  25. Breaking Away  26. Forever and a day  27. Lost and Found  28. Light  29. Dark  30. Faith  31. Colors  32. Exploration  33. Seeing Red  34. Shades of Grey  35. Forgotten  36. Dreamer  37. Mist  38. Burning  39. Out of Time  40. Knowing How  41. Fork in the road  42. Start  43. Nature’s Fury  44. At Peace  45. Heart Song  46. Reflection  47. Perfection  48. Everyday Magic  49. Umbrella  50. Party  51. Troubling Thoughts  52. Stirring of the Wind  53. Future  54. Health and Healing  55. Separation  56. Everything For You  57. Slow Down  58. Heartfelt Apology  59. Challenged  60. Exhaustion  61. Accuracy  62. Irregular Orbit  63. Cold Embrace  64. Frost  65. A Moment in Time  66. Dangerous Territory  67. Boundaries  68. Unsettling Revelations  69. Shattered  70. Bitter Silence  71. The True You  72. Pretense  73. Patience  74. Midnight  75. Shadows  76. Summer Haze  77. Memories  78. Change in the Weather  79. Illogical  80. Only Human  81. A Place to Belong  82. Advantage  83. Breakfast  84. Echoes  85. Falling  86. Picking up the Pieces  87. Gunshot  88. Possession  89. Twilight  90. Nowhere and Nothing  91. Answers  92. Innocence  93. Simplicity  94. Reality  95. Acceptance  96. Lesson  97. Enthusiasm  98. Game  99. Friendship  100. Endings

So on with the show.


23. Failure


There was a very good reason the grounds keeper Klokateers were to keep the grass surrounding Mordhaus burned at all times.  Two reasons, actually.  But Pickles had gone on tour along with the rest of the boys, so his hayfever wasn’t really an issue.  However Charles and his grass allergy was.  “Se’d 682 idto by office.”  He voice was overly congested.  “I wod’t accept ady excuses this tibe.  Heh...huh… hep-ISH-shhoo!  Ishhh-shhuu!”  A sniffle, a quick nose blow and an eye-rub later, Charles continued.  “He d’nows full well there are codequences for failing to keep up on the fucki’g lawd.”


49. Umbrella


“It’s totally not metal to carry one of those things around, you know.”

“It ain’t metal to try to drum when I got a cold, either.”

“Everyone knows you don’t… don’t… HUR-EH-CHUU!  HUR-ESHHUU!  Don’t catch a cold from being cold.”
“Tell that to your fuckin’ immune system.  Here, I brought you one too.”

“Keep it.  I don’t have a… HUR-ISHH-SHUU!  Don’t have a cold.”

No, you just really like tryin’ to make me deaf.  Would you just take the fuckin’ umbrella.  No one has to see you use it.”

“HUR-ISSHH-SSHUU!  Fine, if it’ll shut you up.  Thanks Pickles.”

“Sure Nate.”


47. Perfection


He would never actually tell Pickles this, both because it wasn’t metal and because it was totally gay, but Nathan thought Pickles had the most amazing profile.  Even now, when he was an allergic mess, like he always was in the spring.  He held out a tissue as Pickles seemed to gear up for yet another sneeze.  “God, that’s either ten or eleven.”


“Heh-innixx!  Innixx!  Stop countin’ ‘em, already, fuckin’ weirdo.”  Pickles blew his nose and tried to look annoyed.


Nathan pulled him into a one armed hug.  “Can’t help it, it’s too perfect.  Your sneezes fit you.  Fuckin’ tiny.”


21. Never Again


It hadn’t been a very well thought out plan.  He could admit that, now.  But at the time, in a haze of whatever he’d been drinking, grinding up poppy seeds and snorting them sounded like a fan-fucking-tastic idea.  After all, opium is derived from the poppy plant, according to that boring documentary that Murderface had been watching, and poppy seeds came from the same plant, what could go wrong?  


“Heh-nnixx!  Heh-heh-Innixx!  Heh-ep-isshh!  Heh-eh-cchhii!”


“Alright, just sneeze it all out.  And don’t tell Jean-Pierre you took those.  You gonna do this again?”


Pickles shook his head violently.  “Never… Heh-ishhh-chhuu!  Again.”



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Ohhhhh!!!!!  These were a joy to read.  I haven't read anything Metalocalypse-related in a long while, and it's like wrapping myself up in an old favorite blanket.  Also Pickles is my favorite boy so I like how heavily he's featured in these.  :D  Looking forward to more!!

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That last one! :yay: Totally something he would do and then instantly regret. I loved all of these, and Pickles's tiny-like-him sneezes.

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Thank you all for the reviews!  It means a lot to me to know that people are enjoying these.  I'm enjoying writing them.

murphy dee, Pickles is my favorite too, which I'm afraid will become painfully obvious as time goes on.  He's a lot of fun to write for too. 

AnonyMouse, Thanks!  I'm a baker at a retirement community and I came with that particular idea making lemon poppy seed cake.  My mind tends to wander off at times when I'm working and the things it comes up with!

Masking, I'm glad you like it because there's a whole lot more coming.  They just fit together in my mind.

SneezyHolmes, I'm glad you liked reading them.  The show makes for fun writing material.


Here is the next batch.


97. Enthusiasm


“What you means Skwisgaar ams sick?  That means I gets his solos, right?”


Nathan looked at Toki over his reading glasses.  “You are way too excited about this, you know that, right?  Besides, we ain’t performing right now.”


“But if we was performing?”


“You ams still dildos and I never takes sick…sick... Hek-ehp-Esshh!  Ehh-esshh!  Heh-isshhh!  Sick days.”  Skwisgaar blew his nose and sank down on the sofa next to Nathan.


“Hey, why the hell are you not in bed?”  Nathan growled, scowling and feeling the guitarist’s forehead.


“I senses misguided enthusiasms.”


“You’re burning up.  Go back to sleep, will you?”


58. Heartfelt Apology


“I know it wasn’t really my fault that you caught this from me…”


“Not your fault?  Who’s fault was it then?”


“No one told you you had to come into my room and sit with me when I was sick!”

“I hadn’t seen you in three days, I thought you might be dead.”

“You coulda sent somebody to check, ya’know.”

“What sorta dick sends someone to check on his boyfriend?  Huh-Huh-HUR-RESSHHUUU!”


“Somebody who don’t wanna get sick.  But I want you to know, even though it totally ain’t my fault, I’m real sorry.”


“Don’t be.  Just… HUR-Eh-SHHUU!!  Shut up.”


77. Memories


Being sick in Mordhaus was a lot different from being sick on a bus in his Snakes N Barrels days.  The best change was the heavy, warm hand currently stroking his scalp.  “Ya’know, back then we’d make this concoction with aspirin, angel dust and cold medicine.  Hek-Innxx!  Hep-isshh-nnxx!  Heh… heh… fuck, lost it.  You’d forget you were sick for days.”


“How bad’d you crash afterwards?”


“You didn’t.  Soon’s you felt it wearin’ off, you took more.  We should make that here.  Hep-ish-nnxx!”


“Jesus, no.  Your old remedies can stay back then.  Just take some real medicine and go to bed.”


76. Summer Haze


“Heh-ISHHH-sshhuu!  Hep-Isshhuuu!”


Nathan was right, summer colds sucked.  Charles had gone through two boxes of tissues and there was no sign that his nose would stop running or he would stop sneezing any time soon.  Still, there was so much to do.  Charles sipped the tea Jean-Pierre left him.  Why’d it taste funny?  


Charles read the note on his desk.  The words only just registered in his fuzzy mind.  *You wouldn’t rest before.  For the record, we tried the easy way.  Now we do it the hard way.  Dethklok.*


“Are you fucking kidding?  They drugged me?”  They were dead.

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Ahhh Skwisgaar :heart: Those triples make me weak.


“I senses misguided enthusiasms.”

LOL so perfectly in character.

These are such an awesome blast from the past and I can't wait for more!

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Thinking the same thing as AnonyMouse regarding Skwisgaar being in character. :D That is so first-season Skwisgaar.

THEY. DRUGGED. CHARLES. And I have a soft spot for Pickles talking through a failed sneeze. *drool*

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