Just Desserts - SS16 for MaiMai! (2/3)

[Anonymouse]

Merry Christmas, @MaiMai!  I must admit I was a bit nervous when I first got you. We don't talk much but you seem really awesome and I didn't want to screw it up! Fantasy is not my forte, but I am fortunate to have an OC on hand for these situations - my fairy, Emmaline. She looks human (well, like a smol human bean, but still human - think Lauren Mayberry of CHVRCHES if you want a visual) but she's got abilities, her favorite of which is casting charms, usually in a pretty mischievous way.   So hopefully this turns out okay! I'll be posting in three parts for a couple of reasons. I've been busier than I anticipated these last few weeks so I'm still working on the next two parts. I also wanted to give you the opportunity to provide feedback in case there is anything you want to see done differently! I have the plot all set but if there are any specific things you'd like changed or altered or included beyond what you sent to Junia, let me know! That said, I hope you enjoy chapter one. The sneezing will most certainly pick up as the story goes on.

 

???

The bell on the door was so loud it sounded like Santa's sleigh was involved in a head-on collision just outside every time it swung open. Emmaline glanced up from her fashion magazine, irritated at the constant jangling, and watched as the bearded man who entered tossed a candy wrapper towards, but not into, the trashcan. He was chewing on the end of a candy cane, the hard sugar stick crunching offensively between his teeth. Emmaline couldn't help but stare at his lips, watching as little saliva droplets and bits of peppermint candy were flung into the communal atmosphere as well as his beard hairs. Filthy humans, she thought privately, wishing, not for the first time, that she was allowed to wear a surgical mask to work.

Despite having been raised by a very kind and clean human family, the fairy could not ignore the very annoying qualities that were common amongst the species. Many had a tendency to be filthy, selfish, and violent, and it only seemed to get worse over the years as she came in contact with more of them. The only humans she could tolerate anymore were the perfect, silent models in her magazines and her boss at the cafe, Rosemary.

The man spoke suddenly, but not to her, prompting her to look for the earpiece he was using to communicate. When she saw it she scowled, making no effort to hide her displeasure at his rudeness. The human seemed wholly unaware of her presence let alone the vibe she was trying to project.

At last he spoke, not bothering to end his call or remove the candy cane from his face hole. It hung precariously from his lips, giving Emmaline preemptive visions of the shattered, sticky mess she would have to clean up if it fell.

“Okay, babe, shut up, I gotta order.” He squinted at the menu board, not even offering a proper greeting first. “Lemme get uhhhhhh...”

He dragged out the last word, trying to buy himself some time as his eyes scanned over his options. A queue was forming behind him, each newcomer’s complaints contributing to the general din of impatience that filled the space. Emmaline rolled her eyes and folded her arms, letting out a huff as she prepared to say some stuff that would probably get her fired. It was then that she conveniently met Rosemary’s gaze over the shoulder of her droning customer. The older woman pointed to the menu board and mouthed something too long and complicated to make out. Emmaline tilted her head and Rosemary repeated herself; this time the barista could make out the words “peppermint latte.” It triggered the script ingrained in her memory.

“Would you like to try our peppermint latte?” Emmaline asked without much enthusiasm. “It's only here for a limited time.”

Rosemary was still watching her like a hawk. When their eyes met again the older woman pulled her lips into a smile and pointed at Emmaline, silently commanding her to do the same. She had no choice, or else her sparkly backside would be tossed out on the street. She wanted nothing more than to keep her job and living space and do good by Rosemary. The fairy didn't have many opportunities since she got expelled from Dante’s School for the Supernatural in her first term. It was a rough few years before she got the job at the bakery, and she was running out of chances here, too. She did not want to screw this up along with everything else in her life.

But even in the face of homelessness, Emmaline couldn't resist putting a little spell on her customer's creme brulee latte. He sat by himself at a table for four during the busy lunch hour, jabbering away on a banana as if it were a phone and becoming increasingly cognizant of the fact that everyone was looking at him and whispering.

“Babe, I gotta go,” he said, putting the banana down and bristling as he glanced around the room. “What are you bozos looking at?”

Emmaline snickered behind the cappuccino machine, oblivious to Rosemary’s watching eyes.

---

“I've been meaning to ask you something.”

Emmaline glanced up from her PB&J as her boss ducked through the curtain to the back room. Before she could swallow and respond, Rosemary was sniffing the air. “Is that peanut butter?”

“It's… uh…”

Rosemary folded her arms and frowned as she danced around the answer. Before she could call her out for her pathetic tactics of evasion, Emmaline crammed the rest of the sandwich into her mouth. Rosemary tried to recall how to do the Heimlich maneuver as her employee choked down a mouthful of bread and sugary spreads.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Emmaline gasped, clutching her chest for melodramatic effect. “There was a peanut butter sandwich just sitting here, and I know how passionate you are about keeping this place allergen-free for our guests, so I selflessly disposed of-”

“Enough,” she said, causing the younger woman to jump at her tone. “I don't care if you forgot or if you've decided to be obstinate today, but whatever it is, don't let it happen again.” She took a deep breath through her nose, her nostrils flaring sternly. “Now…”

Emmaline had been coughing lightly from choking down her sandwich, but now she held up a finger, forgetting for a moment how rude the other woman found the gesture. “Use your words, please,” Rosemary would say, the ‘please’ more of a jibe than a genuine attempt at politeness. Emmaline would have if she could have, but words were evading her at the moment. Her breath hitched twice, each soft intake possessing the delicate lilt of her speaking voice. She let the air back out in a gently sweeping exhale, her eyelashes fluttering softly as her oval-shaped nostrils rounded into perfect circles. She sniffled and huffed softly, bringing a napkin to her face as her expression crumbled. “hihh... hih-tzschiew!”

Rosemary cleared her throat loudly in lieu of a more socially acceptable response. Emmaline merely hitched again, pinning the napkin over her nose with both hands only for it to billow out with a second sneeze. “hitCHHiew!”

“Wash your hands before you touch anything,” said her boss.

“Yes, mb’amb.” She sniffled and then mumbled, more to herself than to Rosemary, “God, I hate sneezing.”

That single, seemingly innocuous phrase sparked her mentor’s curiosity. Rosemary watched with growing interest as Emmaline stood up and made her way towards the back sink to wash up, stopping to dip forward with another, more desperate “ihtCHhhew!” halfway there. She groaned with obvious annoyance before continuing towards the sink, oblivious to the woman scheming just behind her. Rosemary decided that her question could wait, especially since she already knew the answer.

The fairy wasn't the only one around here with some tricks up her sleeve.

Edited January 20, 2017 by AnonyMouse

[MaiMai]

Aaaaaahhhhhhh, Anony! I was talking to someone recently who knew who had me for Secret Santa and I thought I had guessed correctly, but apparently not, so this was a complete surprise to me! And very nice one, too! Oh man, I love where this story is headed!

I'm gonna have to pick out some of my favourite parts (which is honestly pretty much everything...! )

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

The bell on the door was so loud it sounded like Santa's sleigh was involved in a head-on collision just outside every time it swung open.

The first line totally got me with the amazing description! Omg, I love it!  And I adore how this is Christmas-themed, Christmas-related fics are my favourites!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

Despite having been raised by a very kind and clean human family, the fairy could not ignore the very annoying qualities that were common amongst the species.

I love how Emmaline has such a dislike for humans!  Poor thing having to work in a cafe and interact with all these humans, too!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

It was then that she conveniently met Rosemary’s gaze over the shoulder of her droning customer. The older woman pointed to the menu board and mouthed something too long and complicated to make out. Emmaline tilted her head and Rosemary repeated herself; this time the barista could make out the words “peppermint latte.” It triggered the script ingrained in her memory.

This is so funny to me, because I work in a cafe part time and I had to work Christmas eve, and I was in Rosemary's position with one of my colleagues a few times!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

But even in the face of homelessness, Emmaline couldn't resist putting a little spell on her customer's creme brulee latte. He sat by himself at a table for four during the busy lunch hour, jabbering away on a banana as if it were a phone and becoming increasingly cognizant of the fact that everyone was looking at him and whispering.

“Babe, I gotta go,” he said, putting the banana down and bristling as he glanced around the room. “What are you bozos looking at?”

Oh my gosh, I love Emmaline already! This is hilarious!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

“Oh, thank god,” Emmaline gasped, clutching her chest for melodramatic effect. “There was a peanut butter sandwich just sitting here, and I know how passionate you are about keeping this place allergen-free for our guests, so I selflessly disposed of-”

This might be my favourite piece of dialogue in the whole thing!  Emmaline being so melodramatic about the whole thing is precious, omg! And "selflessly disposing" of the sandwich.

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

Emmaline would have if she could have, but words were evading her at the moment. Her breath hitched twice, each soft intake possessing the delicate lilt of her speaking voice. She let the air back out in a gently sweeping exhale, her eyelashes fluttering softly as her oval-shaped nostrils rounded into perfect circles. She sniffled and huffed softly, bringing a napkin to her face as her expression crumbled. “hihh... hih-tzschiew!”

The way you described this whole part totally killed me, omg. And your spellings are adorable!

1 hour ago, AnonyMouse said:

The fairy wasn't the only one around here with some tricks up her sleeve.

OOOOHHH I AM SO CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT ROSEMARY IS GOING TO DO~

Anony, thank you so much for this! I absolutely adore this first part! I love the humour and I love Emmaline so much! The fantasy element is really lovely, too, understated fantasy is the best and this is totally perfect! It's so lovely and so atmospheric and I love it! I'm so, so excited to see what will happen next! Just, oh my gosh, thank you so much!!

Oh, and Merry Christmas~!

[NoV]

2 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

She looks human (well, like a smol human bean, but still human - think Lauren Mayberry of CHVRCHES if you want a visual)

You had my attention with the mention of Lauren  Very enjoyable start, and looking forwards to reading more.

[Anonymouse]

I am thrilled to bits that you enjoyed it, MaiMai! (You too, NoV!) Here is le part two. Special thanks to Winged for the beta assist!

---

There were too many customers today. More than one reasonably quiet patron was almost more than Emmaline could manage on a good day. This? This was not a good day. The old people who just walked in were already complaining. A young mother in the queue was fussing loudly over her daughter, and the woman with the service dog… well, she was waiting quite patiently behind the couple who kept giggling and whispering to one another between kisses, oblivious to their new position at the head of the line.

Emmaline politely waited for the women to stop making out and order. She chose not to interrupt them at first, more curious than irritated by their behavior, but they were starting to hold up the other customers, and Emmaline was tired of listening to the mother argue with her offspring about shaving her head (“But you have such gorgeous curls!”). Rosemary told her they had gotten several one-star review on Yelp this morning that seemed to imply that the barista was not fast or friendly or able to foam milk properly. She aimed to prove those liars wrong on every count.

"Do you two share a digestive system or…?" she began, as the brunette unwrapped her legs from around her significant other. "Oh, goodness, I thought you were conjoined twins for a moment there."

The one girl chuckled, the other just grinning in amusement. They were so adorable Emmaline could not bring herself to chastise them for holding up the line, although one of the customers decided it was an appropriate time to scowl and huff. She looked like she might say something offensive, but before she could speak her daughter squealed.

"Mommy, the doggy!" she exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the service dog standing several feet ahead of her.

It appeared she was just now aware of the furry creature sharing her space. "Go ahead and pet it, sweetie," said her mother, beaming at her daughter and then the dog’s human companion. "She's so good with animals."

The person with the dog looked too meek to speak up, or was otherwise unable. Before Emmaline could intervene, one of the ladies ahead of her came to her aid. "Excuse me, but you shouldn't pet a service dog," she said sweetly, causing the girl to stop in her tracks. "He's doing an important job and you wouldn't want to bother him."

The girl stared at her wide-eyed, not used to being denied something she wanted. And yet, at the age of four or seven or five and three quarters (human children were a mystery to Emmaline), seemed to understand the logic behind the request. Still, her mother wasted no time rushing blindly to her defense.

"Do not address my daughter in that tone," she commanded. "How dare you! Come here, honey, don't let her touch you."

She beckoned her daughter to return to her, which she did with great hesitation, unsure of how the stranger had offended her mother. The younger women looked baffled and even slightly amused. Emmaline was dying to see how this would unfold, but she knew Rosemary would have her hide if she let this situation dissolve into chaos.

"Okay, excuse me," Emmaline said, clapping her hands a few times to get everyone's attention. "This is a coffee shop, not the Kardashian mansion. We need to keep this line moving."

Perhaps not the most friendly way to address a crowd of customers, but it got the job done. They stopped quarrelling and placed their orders one by one in various stages of shame, the female couple looking so perplexed and uncomfortable that Emmaline gave them their drinks on the house.  The mother was in the lower end of the shame spectrum; she complained to Emmaline about the “gays and lesbian ruining our country” and how she had to buy her daughter a special $200 bottle of shampoo to get her hair “just right” for the Miss Peach Beauty Competition this weekend. Emmaline could tell by the girl's face and forlorn sigh that pageantry was not her personal passion.

So Emmaline figured she could kill two birds with one stone and dole out a double dose of karma. As the girl ate her lonely fruit cup ("No pastries or hot chocolate before a competition!") her hair began to fall out. First a few strands came loose, tumbling unnoticed to the floor. It wasn't until her mother tried to adjust her pink barrette that a chunk of flaxen hair came out in her hands. The child gasped in glee and declared "My hair’s falling out!"

This might have been unexpected had Emmaline not heard her mention earlier how much she wanted to donate her hair to charity and "be bald to support Jacob," presumably a sick friend in whom her mother took zero interest. She wanted to teach the mother a lesson, not the daughter, who seemed polite and agreeable despite her mother’s influence.

Unfortunately Rosemary was in the back of the shop until just this moment. When she saw the girl’s hair falling out, her hysterical mother scrambling to gather it up and the increasingly concerned customers watching the spectacle she glaring at Emmaline, oblivious to the fact that she only smiled because she saw justice being done.

---

"That was weird, huh?" Emmaline asked casually, tapping her painted nails against her ceramic mug.

She took a sip of the cappuccino, letting the foam linger on her upper lip as she swallowed the sweet, warm liquid. She let out a contented “Ahh,” so incredibly nonchalant about the bizarre events that just unfolded. It didn't make her seem any less guilty in Rosemary’s eyes.

"You're way too relaxed about this whole situation."

"So a little girl experiences a non-life-threatening medical anomaly." She licked the remnants of her last sip from her lips before savoring another. "I've seen weirder shi- sorry... stuff."

Again the froth from the drink remained on her upper lip, utterly distracting to Rosemary, the tiny bubbles that popped and dissolved audibly not helping. They seemed to distract Emmaline, too, their interference causing just enough irritation to make her upper lip curl slightly. A small breath escaped the space between her lips as she began the frantic search for a place to rest her mug, her sensitive nose giving her very little time with which to work. Rosemary quickly realized she had to sneeze, but before she could offer any assistance Emmaline bent violently with a small, tightly restrained double, the movement causing some of the cappuccino to spill onto her shirt and pants. "h’tsh!-TSHh! Fuck!" she exclaimed, looking annoyed but not alarmed. "Sorry... but fuck."

"I'll let you have those.” Rosemary frowned with sympathy she couldn't help but feel in spite of her protégé’s recent behaviors. "Was it very hot?"

"No, but I like this shirt." She seemed to just now remember her coffee moustache and wiped it off with her wrist, keeping it there for a moment as her eyelashes fluttered, nostrils quivering at the same speed and intensity as if connected to her eyelids by the same inner mechanism. Soon her features relaxed again, her pre-sneeze grimace replaced by a tentative smile. Her nostrils continued to flicker as if the feeling was still bothering her, but she didn't sneeze, at least not yet.

"Whew, almost sneezed again," she announced, as if it hasn't been obvious. "Here, take this please. You can nuke it for me if you'd like."

She was forcing her huge mug into Rosemary’s hands, freeing up her own to grab an unnecessary amount of paper towels to tend to the spill and her leaking nose. When she saw how deep the stains were she tisked and got to her feet, making her way to the employee restroom where she could clean up more thoroughly. She left Rosemary alone in the back room with a mug of lukewarm coffee and slightly sinister intentions. She would heat it up, but that wasn't all. Like Emmaline had done so many times before, Rosemary said a few words over the drink, the fingers of one hand poised just above the surface. The liquid turned green for a moment before fading back to an innocuous light brown color.

Then she popped it in the microwave for twenty seconds and presented it to Emmaline, who drank up gratefully.

---

It wasn't long until the fairy was back in the bathroom, under somewhat different circumstances.

“hehh… heh-k’dSShhhu! heh’kTCHiew! hiihh-kiHSHHhhhiew!”

She sprayed the bathroom mirror slightly with each sneeze despite her attempt at covering with a few squares of toilet paper - the last she could find. When her breath started hitching again she managed a groan in between breaths, needing so badly to sneeze but not wanting to without proper coverage. She abandoned her efforts to regain control of her breathing, her tongue hanging lazily between her parted lips. Her eyebrows knitted together as if with deep concern as her nostrils flared out with each audible gasp. She was mortified, when she locked eyes with her reflection, to see how truly ridiculous she looked just before a sneeze.

“hehh-hih’HEHhh… heh-ohhh… hihh’ihKTCHHhhhhieww!”

She pressed the back of her hand against her nose as it started leaking from deep within her sinuses, like an avalanche loosened. It triggered a series of worsening coughs, each shaking more congestion from the walls of her lungs. Clearing her throat was painful but necessary, and it left her with a hoarser voice than before when she muttered "Buther Dature, please kill be dow."

"I hear you in here, sneezing up a storm." It was Rosemary, no doubt here to relish in her misery. "Should I have the weather service issue a warning?"

Emmaline looked up and saw her boss reflected in the speckled mirror. She was mortified that she didn't have the chance to wipe the glass clean before she snuck up on her. Her joking suggestion made the fairy nervous; she wondered if her magical identity was compromised.

"I cand't actually sdneeze storbs, you dowe," she said calmly, cupping one hand over her nose as she searched the already searched cupboards for something into which she could blow.

Rosemary gave her a funny look. "Of course not," she said. "That's some science fiction nonsense right there."

Before Emmaline could question her intentions she was handing her a box of tissues. The fairy snorted, turning the box in her hands as if deciding whether or not to toss it over her shoulder. "Why would I d-deehi’d… these… heehh-ihh’hHee..."

As if on cue she tugged two tissues out of the box and brought them up to her nose, her body scrunching up with a pair of suppressed sneezes. They produced a pair of muffled squeaks and identical twins “shhew!”s that followed each stifled release. She didn't look finished yet; in fact, she took yet another one of the tissues she was just about to discard and added it to the clump against her nose. "heht-CHHieuu!"

"Bless you!" exclaimed Rosemary.

Apparently thrilled with the attention, her nose succumbed easily to one more sneeze. She belted it out a full volume; it was pleasantly high in pitch, not piercing or forced, and just powerful enough to bend her forward a few inches. “hah’p-TCHHhew!”

"Bless you again!" Rosemary smirked knowingly to herself as Emmaline buried her face in even more tissues with a groan and a blow. "Are you feeling ill?"

"Just a tihh… hih! t-tickle..." she insisted, even as her face crumpled like crushed velvet. As it built she dropped the tissue box, her attention almost wholly consumed by the oncoming sneeze.

"Oh dear, another?" Rosemary smiled innocently.

Emmaline managed to roll her eyes, the last action over which she had any control before her body succumbed to one last sneeze. Tissues sodden and useless, she ditched them in the trash and pulled her shirt collar over her nose in an impromptu gesture. Her breath hitched twice more, each ragged exhalation causing the front of her shirt to billow out. The third gasp was the most desperate, culminating into a rushing “hehht’TCHHiiuuu!” that left the fabric of her shirt hot and slightly damp.

"You are not serving customers like this,” Rosemary said, shifting effortlessly from doting maternal figure to strict upper management. "I have half a mind to shut this whole place down for the day, the way you're sneezing all over."

"Fide by be," Emmaline said petulantly.

She kept the shirt over her face, exposing a sliver of pale belly when she straightened up from retrieving the tissue box from the floor. Releasing the abused fabric, she replaced it with a handful of tissues and blew until she was as clear as she was going to get.

"I feel awful,” she moaned.

"You look it, and so does that shirt," she said, noting its various stains. “Come up and borrow one of mine. I'll close up shop early so you can rest."

Emmaline wasn't about to argue with that. Giving one last, unproductive blow, she threw the tissues away and followed Rosemary to the bedroom.

[MaiMai]

EEEEEEEE, this part is just as lovely as the first! Oh man, I love it! Okay, I need to flail about, you know...everything?

21 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

Rosemary told her they had gotten several one-star review on Yelp this morning that seemed to imply that the barista was not fast or friendly or able to foam milk properly. She aimed to prove those liars wrong on every count.

I love how incensed Emmaline seems to be over the yelp review, omg. She's so snarky and contrary and yet at the same time I love her so much!

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

The one girl chuckled, the other just grinning in amusement. They were so adorable Emmaline could not bring herself to chastise them for holding up the line, although one of the customers decided it was an appropriate time to scowl and huff. She looked like she might say something offensive, but before she could speak her daughter squealed.

I think I said this when reading the first part, too, but some of this is way too familiar having spent the majority of my Christmas holidays working in a cafe most of the time...

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

"Okay, excuse me," Emmaline said, clapping her hands a few times to get everyone's attention. "This is a coffee shop, not the Kardashian mansion. We need to keep this line moving."

And the way she breaks everything up is fantastic! "Not the Kardashian mansion", omg.

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

Unfortunately Rosemary was in the back of the shop until just this moment. When she saw the girl’s hair falling out, her hysterical mother scrambling to gather it up and the increasingly concerned customers watching the spectacle she glaring at Emmaline, oblivious to the fact that she only smiled because she saw justice being done.

Okay, I kind of really love Emmaline for using her magic to do stuff like this. Is it bad that I do?

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

They seemed to distract Emmaline, too, their interference causing just enough irritation to make her upper lip curl slightly. A small breath escaped the space between her lips as she began the frantic search for a place to rest her mug, her sensitive nose giving her very little time with which to work. Rosemary quickly realized she had to sneeze, but before she could offer any assistance Emmaline bent violently with a small, tightly restrained double, the movement causing some of the cappuccino to spill onto her shirt and pants. "h’tsh!-TSHh! Fuck!" she exclaimed, looking annoyed but not alarmed. "Sorry... but fuck."

This is kind of....a really adorable thing to sneeze from...

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

She would heat it up, but that wasn't all. Like Emmaline had done so many times before, Rosemary said a few words over the drink, the fingers of one hand poised just above the surface. The liquid turned green for a moment before fading back to an innocuous light brown color.

OHH DAMN ROSEMARY IS DOING HER STUFF

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

Clearing her throat was painful but necessary, and it left her with a hoarser voice than before when she muttered "Buther Dature, please kill be dow."

Okay so a) the hoarse voice part is so cute. And b ), the "mother nature" line, I love that so much!

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

"I hear you in here, sneezing up a storm." It was Rosemary, no doubt here to relish in her misery. "Should I have the weather service issue a warning?"

Emmaline looked up and saw her boss reflected in the speckled mirror. She was mortified that she didn't have the chance to wipe the glass clean before she snuck up on her. Her joking suggestion made the fairy nervous; she wondered if her magical identity was compromised.

"I cand't actually sdneeze storbs, you dowe," she said calmly, cupping one hand over her nose as she searched the already searched cupboards for something into which she could blow.

This is one of my favourite parts, partly because of Emmaline's confusion over the storms comment, and how she points out that she can't do it anyway! (Also, the fact that she still thinks she's being subtle with the whole magic thing is kind of hilarious. )

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

"Oh dear, another?" Rosemary smiled innocently.

Rosemary pretending she totally has nothing to do with this, I love it!

22 hours ago, AnonyMouse said:

"You look it, and so does that shirt," she said, noting its various stains. “Come up and borrow one of mine. I'll close up shop early so you can rest."

Emmaline wasn't about to argue with that. Giving one last, unproductive blow, she threw the tissues away and followed Rosemary to the bedroom.

Awww, I love how she succumbs at the end...!

Thank you so much again, Anony, for writing this gorgeous story for me! It just gets better and better!