I take requests!

January 30, 2017

7 hours ago, Kiaory said:

Well it was mostly just an idle thought, but if you look at some of the fandom, the witches each have clear themes (in fact, the wiki has official 'witch cards' form the writers for each one giving it's name and extra information) For example, the witch that kills Mami has a dessert theme, and the first one in the series has a flowers/garden theme.

I was just think about what one with a sneezing theme would be like...

EDIT: imagine how Kyoko would take having to sneeze with her mouth full. Pretty hard to avoid wasting food there...

OH my gosh yes that would be adorable. I need that. I need it now.

(Plain old me, pay no attention to the actual topic of the post and reply about the edit)

January 30, 2017

9 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

OH my gosh yes that would be adorable. I need that. I need it now.

(Plain old me, pay no attention to the actual topic of the post and reply about the edit)

Well, you have the power to write it...

January 30, 2017

Just now, Kiaory said:

Well, you have the power to write it...

I am currently writing three other fics and it might be a while before i can get to that.... :sadwalk:

January 30, 2017

Just now, RachTheCool said:

I am currently writing three other fics and it might be a while before i can get to that....

You have my sympathy. :hug: It'll be good when it gets there, though.

January 30, 2017

Just now, Kiaory said:

You have my sympathy. It'll be good when it gets there, though.

Pfft, how do you know it's going to be good? I'm not really that good at writing...

January 30, 2017

6 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

Pfft, how do you know it's going to be good? I'm not really that good at writing...

You have me to help you!

But seriously, I don't think you NEED to be good at working in a technical sense to write a good sneezefic. It's more about pacing and scenarios. As long as you write stuff appeals to you, I don't think there's too much room for error.

(Plus, it would take a lot for me to not enjoy a PMMM sneezefic now that one will exist. Like, it would have to be either completely nonsensical or have nothing to do with the original show.)

January 30, 2017

16 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

You have me to help you!

But seriously, I don't think you NEED to be good at working in a technical sense to write a good sneezefic. It's more about pacing and scenarios. As long as you write stuff appeals to you, I don't think there's too much room for error.

(Plus, it would take a lot for me to not enjoy a PMMM sneezefic now that one will exist. Like, it would have to be either completely nonsensical or have nothing to do with the original show.)

thank you for the support! im glad writing doesnt count because im not good at anything.

January 30, 2017

1 minute ago, RachTheCool said:

thank you for the support! im glad writing doesnt count because im not good at anything.

1 minute ago, RachTheCool said:

im not good at anything.

Awww. *hugs*

January 30, 2017

7 hours ago, Kiaory said:

Awww. *hugs*

*hugs back*

Sorry, I was in school. Also, I think I'm going to make a new topic called something like "Request bin" Where I'm gonna dump all my request fics.

January 30, 2017

57 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

*hugs back*

Sorry, I was in school. Also, I think I'm going to make a new topic called something like "Request bin" Where I'm gonna dump all my request fics.

That's a good idea, I think. That way people won't have to search through pages of discussion here to find hem. If you want, I could PM a moderator to get this thread moved to Observations, Stories, & Art, which is probably the best place for it (in my opinion). Or you could wait until you're validated and do it yourself if you like.

January 30, 2017

43 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

That's a good idea, I think. That way people won't have to search through pages of discussion here to find hem. If you want, I could PM a moderator to get this thread moved to Observations, Stories, & Art, which is probably the best place for it (in my opinion). Or you could wait until you're validated and do it yourself if you like.

Yes please, could you do that? Thanks!

January 30, 2017

16 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

Yes please, could you do that? Thanks!

It is done!

January 30, 2017

On 1/29/2017 at 5:05 PM, SleepingPhlox said:

Hey, if you're still up for Steven Universe stuff, it would be great to see a fic where Amethyst gets sick for the first time. And it's really miserable. But she discovers that the grossness of sneezing really freaks out Pearl and she finds that hilarious so it makes being sick almost worth it. But it's still miserable.

Only if you want to and have time of course! Just throwing the idea out there.

http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/index.php?/topic/69233-request-bin/&do=findComment&comment=837430

Here ya go

January 30, 2017

Just now, RachTheCool said:

http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/index.php?/topic/69233-request-bin/&do=findComment&comment=837430

Here ya go

Just out of curiosity, does this mean that one of my requests is next in line to be worked on? Or do you have other projects?

(If the answer is yes, may I please request that the PMMM fic is given priority over the original one?)

January 30, 2017

5 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

3 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

Just out of curiosity, does this mean that one of my requests is next in line to be worked on? Or do you have other projects?

(If the answer is yes, may I please request that the PMMM fic is given priority over the original one?)

Sorry about this, My quoting thing is messed up. And actually, I was about to notify you about that, but y'know, I had to wait 69 seconds before posting again.

January 30, 2017

4 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

Sorry about this, My quoting thing is messed up. And actually, I was about to notify you about that, but y'know, I had to wait 69 seconds before posting again.

It's ok. Also, after reading that fic, I really don't agree that your writing is bad. Sure, it's not SUPER polished, but you're solidly in the to 40% of writers on here. You'd be shocked how many people don't even know how to use line breaks. I think you'll improve even more with practice, too.

That said, I can give you a couple pieces of advice for writing if you like, now that's I've seen where you are.

(later. I have to go now)

January 30, 2017

1 minute ago, Kiaory said:

It's ok. Also, after reading that fic, I really don't agree that your writing is bad. Sure, it's not SUPER polished, but you're solidly in the to 40% of writers on here. You'd be shocked how many people don't even know how to use line breaks. I think you'll improve even more with practice, too.

That said, I can give you a couple pieces of advice for writing if you like, now that's I've seen where you are.

(later. I have to go now)

I'm not really good at improv, so i honestly wasn't writing up to my full potential here. And do you still want Sayaka to be the sufferer? And do you want a sickfic or an allergy fic?

Also, you can give me the writing advice if you would like. I'm sure it would help!

(Ok. Cya then.)

January 31, 2017

29 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

I'm not really good at improv, so i honestly wasn't writing up to my full potential here. And do you still want Sayaka to be the sufferer? And do you want a sickfic or an allergy fic?

Also, you can give me the writing advice if you would like. I'm sure it would help!

(Ok. Cya then.)

I'm back!

I thought that the PMMM fic you were going to write was the one we talked about with Koyko sneezing. If you'd like me to I could request something else, but I'd happily take just that one. (My original suggestion was going to be Sayaka trying not to sneeze while going on a hunt with Mami to avoid attracting familiars)

I'll post my advise and soon as I can type it up.

January 31, 2017

Just now, Kiaory said:

I'm back!

I thought that the PMMM fic you were going to write was the one we talked about with Koyko sneezing. If you'd like me to I could request something else, but I'd happily take just that one. (My original suggestion was going to be Sayaka trying not to sneeze while going on a hunt with Mami to avoid attracting familiars)

I'll post my advise and soon as I can type it up.

Oh alright! Just wondering... By the way, have you heard of the anime "Yuki Yuna is a hero?" Its a good anime, and relates an awful lot to PMMM. What's funny is that Kyoko is the exact opposite of my favorite character from Yuki Yuna is a hero. Kyoko is always eating junk food and is the tough one around, the cool one, y'know. Karin from Yuki Yuna is a Hero is healthy, nerdy, and anytime she's eating she's eating something like Sardines. Also, I do like PMMM and I am watching the 2 hour movie Rebellion right now.

January 31, 2017

Just now, RachTheCool said:

Oh alright! Just wondering... By the way, have you heard of the anime "Yuki Yuna is a hero?" Its a good anime, and relates an awful lot to PMMM. What's funny is that Kyoko is the exact opposite of my favorite character from Yuki Yuna is a hero. Kyoko is always eating junk food and is the tough one around, the cool one, y'know. Karin from Yuki Yuna is a Hero is healthy, nerdy, and anytime she's eating she's eating something like Sardines. Also, I do like PMMM and I am watching the 2 hour movie Rebellion right now.

I haven't, but I can definitely put it on my list to watch. If it's dark, weird, and has good/complex characters it's probably up my ally.

As far as advice goes, there are a few things I'd recommend. Feel free to not take my advice if you don't want to, though.

The first and simplest is just a formatting thing: you're supposed to start a new line every time a new character talks. So person A can have all their dialog in one paragraph, but if person B says something you have to start a new one. And then you have to add a line break again if you go back to A. This makes dialog a little easier to read.

Second, although your wiring is good, I kinda felt like you were rushing through event a little. In the future, I would suggest you try to add some description in between the dialog and actions to let it breath a little. In addition to the normal things you'd describe, in a sneezefic I would recommend putting a fair amount of description into either how the sneeze feels for the person sneezing (does it itch? tickle? burn? How much? When does the sensation start? How does it change over time?) or into how their face and body look/move as they sneeze. Alternatively, you could describe both!

Third, in order to grab the reader's attention, a story does well if it has some sort of narrative arc. The narrative arc is a lot like a sneeze itself, actually. It starts with some event or circumstance that makes the story happen, called an Inciting incident (the tickle). Then there's the rising action (the buildup), where the tension/stakes/drama slowly rises. This should eb the bulk of the story. Third, you have the climax, which is like the sneeze itself. It's the big dramatic conclusion the wraps up the rising action. Last, you'll often (but not always) want to include falling action, which is just some sort of epilog after the climax so the story doesn't feel like it ends too abruptly. (I guess this would bee like sniffling/ rubbing the nose afterwards?).

Last, I would recommend not breaking character and addressing the audience directly in the middle of the story. So instead of saying 'I'm doing a time skip,' you could just say 'Later...'. You don't need to explain yourself to the audience. All of these are just guidelines though, feel free to ignore them if you feel it'll make the story better.

(I hope this helps. Sorry for being so long winded/bossy, I'm currently studying creative writing is all... :blush: )

January 31, 2017

2 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

I haven't, but I can definitely put it on my list to watch. If it's dark, weird, and has good/complex characters it's probably up my ally.

As far as advice goes, there are a few things I'd recommend. Feel free to not take my advice if you don't want to, though.

The first and simplest is just a formatting thing: you're supposed to start a new line every time a new character talks. So person A can have all their dialog in one paragraph, but if person B says something you have to start a new one. And then you have to add a line break again if you go back to A. This makes dialog a little easier to read.

Second, although your wiring is good, I kinda felt like you were rushing through event a little. In the future, I would suggest you try to add some description in between the dialog and actions to let it breath a little. In addition to the normal things you'd describe, in a sneezefic I would recommend putting a fair amount of description into either how the sneeze feels for the person sneezing (does it itch? tickle? burn? How much? When does the sensation start? How does it change over time?) or into how their face and body look/move as they sneeze. Alternatively, you could describe both!

Third, in order to grab the reader's attention, a story does well if it has some sort of narrative arc. The narrative arc is a lot like a sneeze itself, actually. It starts with some event or circumstance that makes the story happen, called an Inciting incident (the tickle). Then there's the rising action (the buildup), where the tension/stakes/drama slowly rises. This should eb the bulk of the story. Third, you have the climax, which is like the sneeze itself. It's the big dramatic conclusion the wraps up the rising action. Last, you'll often (but not always) want to include falling action, which is just some sort of epilog after the climax so the story doesn't feel like it ends too abruptly. (I guess this would bee like sniffling/ rubbing the nose afterwards?).

Last, I would recommend not breaking character and addressing the audience directly in the middle of the story. So instead of saying 'I'm doing a time skip,' you could just say 'Later...'. You don't need to explain yourself to the audience. All of these are just guidelines though, feel free to ignore them if you feel it'll make the story better.

(I hope this helps. Sorry for being so long winded/bossy, I'm currently studying creative writing is all... )

I dont know about the first piece of advice, but this is actually really helpful! I thought i was missing something... But actually, I forgot to add all the before sneeze buildups... whoops. Yes, There is a bit of rush in order to have stuff between dialogue, but i just hate a fic filled with "She said."

About Yuki Yuna is a hero, it is a little dark a bit... there's not really any character death but it is actually very similar to PMMM. One of the characters does attempt to commit suicide quite a bit in one episode, and is some dramatic twist about the characters being tricked or whatever. I tried not to spoil it too much... but I do hope you watch it!

Thank you for so much support! I really do appreciate it!

January 31, 2017

8 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

I dont know about the first piece of advice, but this is actually really helpful! I thought i was missing something... But actually, I forgot to add all the before sneeze buildups... whoops. Yes, There is a bit of rush in order to have stuff between dialogue, but i just hate a fic filled with "She said."

About Yuki Yuna is a hero, it is a little dark a bit... there's not really any character death but it is actually very similar to PMMM. One of the characters does attempt to commit suicide quite a bit in one episode, and is some dramatic twist about the characters being tricked or whatever. I tried not to spoil it too much... but I do hope you watch it!

Thank you for so much support! I really do appreciate it!

You are welcome to all the support you want. Besides, hopefully I get to read an even better sneezefic as a result of giving the advice, so it's not like I don't have an ulterior motive here.

Also, you don't have to include he said-she said if you don't want to. As long as it's clear from context who's speaking, you can leave the dialog tags off.

As for the anime, I'll definitely put it next on my list to watch. I don't watch anime super often though, so I can't promise how soon I'll get to it.

(also, we could take this conversation to the PMs if you want to stop cluttering up your nice request thread. You should be able to respond if I send you one, I think)

EDIT: in general, when I feel my fics are too dialog heavy, I try to add descriptions of what someone's doing physically (blushing, tapping their fingers, looking away, sitting down, etc) to break it up. I would recommend doing that instead of trying to hurry the plot along.

January 31, 2017

Just now, Kiaory said:

You are welcome to all the support you want. Besides, hopefully I get to read an even better sneezefic as a result of giving the advice, so it's not like I don't have an ulterior motive here.

Also, you don't have to include he said-she said if you don't want to. As long as it's clear from context who's speaking, you can leave the dialog tags off.

As for the anime, I'll definitely put it next on my list to watch. I don't watch anime super often though, so I can't promise how soon I'll get to it.

(also, we could take this conversation to the PMs if you want to stop cluttering up your nice request thread. You should be able to respond if I send you one, I think)

I looked it up and there was a sickfic on PMMM, but there still isn't an actual sneezefic on PMMM (I didn't actually read it, but believe me, I used page finder, and unless the writer is the worst speller in the world there was no actual sneeze in that fanfic.) So, I'm ready to be the first one to write a PMMM sneezefic!

(also, about PMs, I dont know how to do that tbh but if you could explain then I'd be happy with PMing you as long as you are.)

January 31, 2017

5 minutes ago, RachTheCool said:

I looked it up and there was a sickfic on PMMM, but there still isn't an actual sneezefic on PMMM (I didn't actually read it, but believe me, I used page finder, and unless the writer is the worst speller in the world there was no actual sneeze in that fanfic.) So, I'm ready to be the first one to write a PMMM sneezefic!

(also, about PMs, I dont know how to do that tbh but if you could explain then I'd be happy with PMing you as long as you are.)

I just tried it, and apparently I can't send you PMs yet. It let me type one out, but not send it. Which is obnoxious.

(also, can you send me a link to that sickfic? I usually only like stuff with sneezes, but now I'm curious.)

January 31, 2017

2 minutes ago, Kiaory said:

I just tried it, and apparently I can't send you PMs yet. It let me type one out, but not send it. Which is obnoxious.

(also, can you send me a link to that sickfic? I usually only like stuff with sneezes, but now I'm curious.)

Ooh that sounds pretty annoying.

Also, here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8711909/1/When-You-re-Sick

I take requests!

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