Chanel's Folly (2017-2020 Drabbles) Updated Feb 16

[Selene]

21 hours ago, Chanel_no5 said:

Thank you! Keep waving that whip, I actually think it's working...!

Gladly, if it'll help to re-connect with your writing skills again   It must be awful not being able to access all the creative energy that's floating around in you, so I was very happy to see that you were writing again

"Outcome" was so much fun to read and to guess along with Prentiss and Blake whether it's allergies or not!

[lifelove1]

Both of these most recent drabbles are super cute! Glad you've found your muse again!

[Chanel_no5]

Prompt: Cut
Fandom: Big Love
Note: Binging the show, it’s... inspirational.  

 

”Oh my goodness, this is the worst it’s ever been,” Barb muttered to herself as she pressed her sleeve against her runny nose in a desperate attempt to stop the flood. She had been sure she was all stocked up on tissues, she was always stocked up on tissues, but it didn’t matter how many times she dug through her purse, they still persisted their absence. She had been alright this morning, apart from itchy eyes and a tickly throat. Nothing too bad. Nothing she couldn’t handle.

She had continued to be alright throughout the day, until returning home after running some errands. The neighbours had cut their grass while she was away, and as soon as she stepped out of the car, the overwhelming scent of fresh grass hit her in her face. It was like instant ignition, burning the whole length of her nose, all the way to the very tip, and two sneezes so crammed together they were basically one burst out of her before she could do anything but turning her head.

“AESSHH-AISSHHeew!”

Then, as she was still trying to regain her composure (and balance), her nose began to run. Copiously.

“You alright, Boss Lady?” Nicki asked quietly, picking up some of the children’s toys that were scattered in front of her house.

“Yeah… just allergISSHHoo! AllergiKSSHew!”

“Allergic,” she said dryly. “Yes. I can hear that. The whole street can.”

“It’s not like I can help it,” Barb snapped and rubbed her watery, burning eyes with her knuckles, sniffling wetly, but the itch was not satisfied, it only got worse. And the plentiful stream of moisture from her irritated nose wouldn’t let up no matter how much she tried to sniff it back.  

“Oh, it won’t stop tickling either,” she moaned under her breath and sneezed again, putting her entire body into the effort.

“Nice,” Nicki remarked and theatrically wiped some imaginary spray off the side of her face. “Go inside. I’ll get your groceries.”

She fished out a box of tissues from the bottom of one of the paper bags and shoved it into Barb’s hands.

“But take this with you.”

As the first wife hurried to get inside, Nicki sighed and shook her head. Maybe, just maybe, Barb wasn’t exaggerating her allergies after all.

Nicki smirked. She supposed she should feel sorry for Barb, and she did, in a way, but it was still good to know that the perfect woman she could never measure up to had some flaws of her own.

Cut grass. Nicki couldn’t imagine being so allergic to something that smelled so good. Well. Everyone had their cross to bear.

***

 

[tenderwarrior]

This was crazy good. I love your drabble. Thanks for writting!!

[Chanel_no5]

Thank you!!

Prompt: Nuisance
Fandom: Westworld
Note: So, I fell in love with Theresa Cullen's nose, and... I kind of thought the western setting offered a rather obvious allergen. So I played with it.  

 

“All I’m saying, is that you didn’t have to make the horses so life-like they’d be allergenic,” Theresa Cullen said in a thick voice. “This is why I fucking hate having to go into the park myself. HuESSSHHoo! Ugh.”

“Ah, yes, I can see how that would be a nuisance,” Ford said. “Bless you, Miss Cullen. Although we do warn our guests to be prepared with allergy medications. Staff should remember it on their own, wouldn’t you agree?”

Theresa didn’t bother answering, she was too focused on rubbing the side of her irritated nose so furiously he could hear liquid move within. Yes, liquid. He wasn’t so vulgar he would call it snot. He knew perfectly well how allergic Theresa was to the horses and it didn't concern him the slightest. It was in fact one of the reasons he had picked her for the position in the first place – that way she wouldn’t voluntarily enter Westworld, which limited the risks of her running into something that wasn’t for her to see. And of course she wasn’t going to take allergy medications if she could help it. They made her drowsy, and she loathed not being completely clear-headed.

Theresa stopped rubbing her nose and instead loosely cupped both hands in front of her face in preparation for the next itchy sneeze.

Bernard watched her closely with a musing look on his face.

“I haven’t noticed that tiny muscle movement at the corner of your mouth when you’re about to sneeze. Interesting.”

Theresa was caught off guard by his remark and lost the sneeze. She let out a watery groan and shook her head in annoyance.

“Mind your own fucking business and let me sneeze in peace, Bernard,” she sniffled.

"Sorry."

 

Edited April 30, 2018 by Chanel_no5
Added a word that fell out

[Chanel_no5]

Prompt: Human
Fandom: Westworld (Theresa/Bernard canon pairing)
Note: Yeah, another one with her. I'm not even sure why I post these any longer, but I think I want to get all the prompts done in at least one drabble thread.  

 

“Bernard, now is not the best time,” Theresa said as she opened the door to let him in. “I’ll get you sick too.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not prone to catching colds,” he said, pulled her in and kissed her deeply. Theresa, who had felt awful all day, allowed herself to find comfort in his kiss for a moment, but then broke it off.

“You’ll definitely catch this now,” she said and coughed against the back of her hand.

“Then I might just as well stay over,” he said with an inconspicuous smirk. Theresa could feel her lips form into a smile – damn that man, he could always force a smile out of her – but shook her head as she lit a cigarette.

“I’ll keep you up all night.”

“Don’t you always…?”

“Bernard!”

Now she laughed out loud, and the laugh turned into a raspy cough, worsened by the smoke rising from the cigarette. Bernard reached out, took it from her, and put it out in the ashtray. Theresa was so winded from the coughing fit she didn’t even deliver a snarky remark about his interference in her vice.

“Oh fuck this,” she croaked and blew her nose harshly, sneezed twice into the damp paper, and blew her nose again. “Sorry, I’m so disgusting.”

“No, you’re not. Only human.”

“This crap almost makes you want to be one of the hosts instead. At least they don’t get sick.”

“Ever heard of computer viruses?” Bernard deadpanned and slowly massaged her aching neck.

“You’re right,” she said. “Oh that feels good.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm…”

He kept massaging her until the tension began to leave her body, then embraced her from behind. He felt her breathing becoming irregular as she fought against the urge to sneeze again.

“S-sorry, I’m about to… heh-EERSSCHghh!”

“Ouch,” Bernard chuckled, “that sounded like it hurt.”

“You have no idea,” Theresa sniffled and tried to clean herself up with a couple of fresh tissues. “Now that you’ve seen me in all my messy cold-ridden glory, which efficiently ruins all ideas of romance, are you persuaded to leave the contagion zone yet?”

“Your definition of romance is depressingly narrow,” he said.

“You are one stubborn man,” Theresa said, shaking her head. “Well, I warned you. Don’t complain if you catch it.”

“I won’t.”

“Let’s go to bed, then.”

 

[Chanel_no5]

I have TWO favourites!! That was long ago...! And those I will play around with until I'm bored. Not until you're bored. Until I am. Or at least until I'm done with all prompts.  

 

Prompt: Fear
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: I felt that was their dynamic to begin with. It resolved later, but yeah, I thought Blake was afraid of Strauss for starters.

 

It wasn’t that Blake was afraid of Strauss or anything childish like that. It was just that she…

Okay, yes, she was afraid of her. After the public humiliation she suffered thanks to Erin Strauss’s actions following the Amerithrax case, which triggered a bout of depression and anxiety that she could still feel remnants of a decade later, the very presence of her former boss was intimately linked to feelings of inadequacy, failure, and disgrace. And being a life-long overachiever, there was nothing she feared more than feeling that way.

Except maybe losing control in front of that very person who triggered those feelings.

But there was one thing even stronger than Blake’s fear, even stronger than her willpower, and that was her allergies. Normally she only had problems in spring and summer, (and any time she happened to get too close to a horse), but Strauss had a new perfume that to Blake felt like inhaling sweet-smelling itching powder.

And Strauss was leaning over her desk, trying to have a conversation. Blake’s verbal ability was down to “Uh-huh” and “okay”, and most of the time she left Strauss without a response. She knew Strauss would think she was just being difficult, having an attitude. They had butted heads many times in the past, and she wasn’t looking forward to having a new feud with her, but she was not going to admit that there was yet another thing that set her off.

“Alex,” Strauss finally said, “Do we have a problem?”

Blake was balancing on that fine line between control and giving in to the sneezing fit that teased her, and she knew that if she opened her mouth to answer, she would lose the battle. She shook her head.

Strauss leaned forward. Another whiff of that god-awful perfume followed, and Blake just couldn’t take it anymore. It didn’t matter if she embarrassed herself for a lifetime, everything she wanted was to sneeze. She turned away from Strauss and got her arm up as a shield, then she started sneezing. Started. It wasn’t two or three quick sneezes, this was a full-on allergy attack.

Strauss withdrew a bit, then it dawned on her that she likely was the culprit.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Without perfume.”

“T-thatTSSHew! That would b-beeeISSHHHoo! Be great… heAISCHHuuh!”

***

Prompt: Girlfriend
Fandom: Westworld
Note: I know where their relationship went in the show. And I refuse to accept that because if I’ve ever had an OTP this is it.

 

Bernard knocked, waited for her to acknowledge him, and then stepped inside Theresa’s office.

“You took off before I woke up.”

“I had things to do.”

He nodded.

“How are you feeling?”

Theresa’s eyes narrowed.

“About to brag, are you?”

“No. Why?”

“What man doesn’t want to brag if his conquest can’t walk the next day?”

Bernard gave her a half-smile.

“Sounds like you have some bad history with men.” Before she could reply, he continued; “Conquest, interesting choice of words. Especially since you were the one who initiated this.”

Theresa looked uncharacteristically insecure for a moment.

“And what would you call this… it… us… me?”

She felt like slamming her head against the desk. She was so allergic she could barely keep any coherent thoughts.

“We may not be there just yet, but in time, I hope to call you my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend, huh? You do play it safe, don’t you, Bernie?”

“I could say the same about you.”

This time Theresa smiled.

“For the record, last night was worth this,” she said with a gesture towards her aching back. “Although now I feel like I’m being torn to pieces every time I sneeze.”

“I could get you some antihistamines. And some painkillers.”

“That would be helpful. Thank you.” She paused. “Am I hoping for too much if I hope for a back massage tonight?”

“You could’ve gotten one this morning, if you had stayed,” Bernard said.

She sighed.

“A girlfriend would have. Like you said, we’re not quite there yet.”

She turned away from the desk and sneezed, and whether it was the sneezes themselves or the turning motion, the pain shot through her back and she finished the allergic outburst by spitting out a vicious, guttural word that he supposed was a Danish curseword. When "fuck" was no longer enough to cover it, things were bad.

“I’ll go get you those pills now,” Bernard said.

***

 

[silentdreamer789]

I love all of these, even the Westworld ones which I have no idea about! Your writing is wonderful, as ever  

[Kicker]

19 hours ago, Chanel_no5 said:

It wasn’t that Blake was afraid of Strauss or anything childish like that. It was just that she…

Okay, yes, she was afraid of her. After the public humiliation she suffered thanks to Erin Strauss’s actions following the Amerithrax case, which triggered a bout of depression and anxiety that she could still feel remnants of a decade later, the very presence of her former boss was intimately linked to feelings of inadequacy, failure, and disgrace. And being a life-long overachiever, there was nothing she feared more than feeling that way.

I loved this introduction. I haven't seen Criminal Minds, but the way you write it is very emotionally consuming! Despite not being familiar with the characters, I'm still pretty attached to them literally just because you write them so well.

Sidse Babett is such a babe. I love her as Theresa so the Nuisance prompt was a real treat. (Also, I totally love the sounds you use lol?) And I'm looking forward to the rest of these!

[Chanel_no5]

19 hours ago, silentdreamer789 said:

I love all of these, even the Westworld ones which I have no idea about! Your writing is wonderful, as ever  

Thank you so much!  

59 minutes ago, Kicker said:

I loved this introduction. I haven't seen Criminal Minds, but the way you write it is very emotionally consuming! Despite not being familiar with the characters, I'm still pretty attached to them literally just because you write them so well.

Sidse Babett is such a babe. I love her as Theresa so the Nuisance prompt was a real treat. (Also, I totally love the sounds you use lol?) And I'm looking forward to the rest of these!

Oh my God, thank you so much!! You have no idea how much I needed to hear something like that today! Thank you!!

I had actually never HEARD of Sidse before Westworld. Then I realised she was the actress playing Dr Sinsky in "Inferno", opposite Tom Hanks, and that was funny because she was the only reason I didn't turn that movie off. And THEN I learned that she was the one playing the Prime Minister in "Borgen". Which has been on TV here, and it's also a genre that interests me, but I can't watch Danish stuff. I can't get past the language. So basically, I've missed her for years because I can't listen to people speaking Danish. I need to get a grip on my language-related snobbery. ANYWAY. Expect more with Theresa to pop up here. Oh, and I have a longer fic with her in the fanfiction section as well, in case you're interested. It's called "These Fucking Allergies".   

 

[Chanel_no5]

And here we go, something I actually managed to whip up despite battling the headache to end all headaches today. Hopefully I'll get some more written tomorrow, in various fandoms.  

Prompt: Surprise
Fandom: Westworld
Note: pre-affair Bernard/Theresa.

 

“You’re sick.”

Bernard’s statement – it wasn’t even a question – took Theresa by surprise. She was more tired than usual, true, and she did feel a bit chilled, but it was hardly strange. She had spent too long in the desert sun yesterday and her skin wasn’t all that comfortable with that; she had a bad sunburn. Last night she had felt hot, and today she felt chilled. Nothing strange about that.

“I think your observation skills have let you down this time,” Theresa replied. “I’m fine.”

“Are you?” he asked, peering over his glasses in that way that she had grown to like a bit more than she possibly should.

“Who says I’m not?” she said.

“You do.”

“It’s possible this “guessing game” routine of yours is charming to some people, but I’m not one of them.”

The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried not to smile.

“On to the tells, then. First off, your posture. You usually hold your head high, back straight, and your movements tend to be rather brisk. Today, you slouch…”

Theresa noticed that she did indeed slouch, and quickly straightened.

“… you move somewhat sluggishly, and you hang your head whenever you sit down. As if you have a headache.”

That was true, but Theresa wasn’t willing to let him know that.

“Second, your eyes. They’re slightly watery and bloodshot, as if you didn’t get enough sleep last night, and have a glazed look. You also have dark circles around them. You’ve tried to hide it with makeup, but that only draws more attention to it.”

Theresa resisted an urge to pick up her cigarette case and take a close look at her reflection.

“Third, your nose is running. You might not have noticed it yourself yet, but every few seconds you sniffle.”

“That’s ridiculous, I don’t…” she trailed off as she realised she had started the sentence with a light sniff. And yes, her nose was runny, now that she thought about it. “It doesn’t prove anything,” she said in a sharp tone and briefly pressed the back of her hand against her nose as if making sure it wasn’t dripping.

“How about you leave office early today, and get some rest?”

“I don’t need to rest.” She sounded impatient. “What I need is to get a handle on the fucking mess your department has created with the last update… heh…”

The hitching breath was an immediate response to a sudden twinge in her left nostril. It faded, but only for a moment. Her breath hitched again, and then she sneezed to the side, accidentally spraying her own arm.

“AaESSSHH!”

The prickle returned the very moment it was extinguished, and she sneezed again.

“HaESSCHHoo!”

She winced in disgust at the wetness now covering her upper arm and started looking around for something to wipe it off with, but her desk was empty.

“Bless you,” Bernard said as he took a pack of tissues out of his pocket and handed it to her.

Theresa took the tissues and gave him a suspicious look.

“You just happened to carry an unopened pack of tissues today?”

He gave her that glance over the glasses again.

“I figured you would need them sooner or later.”

“Just so we’re clear on this, I don’t need looking after,” Theresa said. “I’m not one of those damsels in distress types.”

“Oh, believe me Miss Cullen, you don’t come across as a damsel in distress to anyone.” He changed subjects. “I talked to Ford about the updates and he has agreed to halt them for the time being.”

“Good.” She took out a tissue, folded it, brought it up to her nose and gave it a quick, forceful blow. She was surprised by how congested she was. She hadn’t picked up on that either until now.

Bernard got up and was about to return to his own office.

“Bernie,” Theresa said just before he left her office. “Thanks for the tissues.” She smiled. It was a tired but genuine smile.

He nodded and gave her one of his own in response before leaving.

For some reason, Theresa felt a warm, fuzzy, and not at all unpleasant feeling she hadn’t felt in many years. She thought she might be dangerously close to falling in love with this man.

Or maybe I’m just running a fever.

 

Edited May 1, 2018 by Chanel_no5
fixed a thing.

[Chanel_no5]

Prompt: Tender
Fandom: Westworld
Note: Yeah, sorrynotsorry, but this is my new OTP and I'm sticking to it.  

 

“Wine?” Bernard asked.

“Do you have one that pairs well with allergy medication?” Theresa replied dryly. “If not, I’ll probably be out cold after half a glass.”

“It’s bad today, huh?”

If he hadn’t sounded so sympathetic, she might have snapped in response, but instead she just nodded.

“Not sure what’s worse. Being drowsy from the meds, or itchy from the allergies.” She rolled her eyes in annoyance before doubling over and sneezing twice. “Not a word,” she warned as she rubbed her nose to discourage any possible followers to the sneezes.

“Guess those meds aren’t too efficient either way.”

“I said, not a word.”

He mimicked zipping his mouth shut, and Theresa smiled almost in spite of herself.

“It’s just so undignified," she sighed.

Bernard touched her cheek gently.

“I think it’s beautiful.”

“Allergies are not beautiful, Bernard.” She spoke as if he was a complete idiot.

“No, but you’re beautiful, with or without allergies.”

“I'm curious. Does this pass for charming in your world?” Theresa asked, but her voice was as soft as it could get, and she leaned into the touch.

“Depends. Does it charm you?” he asked.

“Strange as it may sound, it does,” she admitted with an acted frown, and he laughed.

“Let’s skip the wine altogether and go straight to bed.”

“I’m too tired for…” she began.

“Yes, but you’re not too tired to fall asleep in my arms, are you?” He stroke her hair out of the way so he could kiss that spot that sent shivers of pleasure down her spine.

"That, I think I can do with ease. Heads up though, I'm probably going to snore tonight, I'm so congested."

"Don't worry about it." He kissed her neck again. "In case nobody ever told you, you snore every night. It's never bothered me before."

"I feel so sexy knowing that about my nocturnal habits," Theresa muttered, but took his hand and followed him into the bedroom.

 

Edited May 1, 2018 by Chanel_no5
my proofreading sucks.

[Kicker]

I think that Theresa and Bernard are one of the most attractive couples on modern television. And you write them so sweetly. 

On 4/26/2018 at 4:37 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

she might be dangerously close to falling in love with this man.

Or maybe I’m just running a fever.

Ugh. I love them. I just want them to be happy. This made me so happy,  this line right here.

Both of these last two drabbles were so heart warming. 

55 minutes ago, Chanel_no5 said:

He stroke her hair out of the way so he could kiss that spot that sent shivers of pleasure down her spine.

"That, I think I can do with ease.

And their interactions are so good and fun to read! I'm so glad you updated. I can barely find vanilla fanfiction of these two, so this is a blessing. 

[Chanel_no5]

12 hours ago, Kicker said:

I think that Theresa and Bernard are one of the most attractive couples on modern television. And you write them so sweetly. 

Ugh. I love them. I just want them to be happy. This made me so happy,  this line right here.

Both of these last two drabbles were so heart warming. 

And their interactions are so good and fun to read! I'm so glad you updated. 

Oh yes. I really liked the little twist to have the rough, harsh-talking woman falling for the timid, low-key man. I loved how the only time she ever smiled was when she was with him. Their ending wasn't fair. Talk about starcrossed lovers. What was between them was definitely real, though, despite things.

It's so fun to rewatch the show because the interactions between them have a completely different meaning now that you know they were already having an affair. Some interactions that didn't sound so nice the first time around, now sounds like teasing between two lovers. The "No Bernard, you may NOT record it." "Ah, there it is again!" is so cute.  

12 hours ago, Kicker said:

I can barely find vanilla fanfiction of these two, so this is a blessing. 

Spoiler

Are you entirely sure about that, as of today...?   I could've sworn ff.net got a bit of an update...  

 

[Chanel_no5]

Two more today. I have one other in progress as well, but it would seem it's going to be 18+ and therefore not posted in here. We'll see where it decides to go.  

 

Prompt: Green
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Note: It’s probably nice for Blake to get a break while I play with Theresa instead, but she won’t get away for too long. That wouldn’t be any fun. For me.  

 

Alex Blake had already sneezed twice during the ride between the local station and the crime scene, and she was struggling with all her might not to make it three. Morgan had cracked “hilarious” jokes and Reid had first “discreetly” given her some information on the communicativeness of the common cold, and the second time flat out asked her if she was getting sick.

Blake would have denied it even if she had been getting sick, for no other reason than it being her very nature to deny weaknesses, but she seriously didn’t feel like she was. She did feel more allergic, to be honest, but it was late September, and unless she was standing in the middle of a field of grass being cut around her, she didn’t usually have any allergic response to nature around this time.

She sniffled and held her breath as the tickle in her nose reached critical level, but then the urge faded again. She released the breath slowly and sniffled again, wetter this time.

“You okay?” Morgan asked.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine.”

“Your eyes look a bit red,” he informed her. “And you definitely sound like your allergies are acting up.”

“Morgan, I’m not allergic.” She had to get her arm up and sneeze wetly into her sleeve even as she tried to act fine, but although she could feel his amusement, she refused to acknowledge it. “It’s just sneezing. I’m sure you do it from time to time as well.”

“Uh-huh, sure, but you usually don’t, unless your allergies are bothering you.”

“I’ve already told you, I’m fihh-AAHnkTSCHuh!” She sneezed violently into her hands, cringing when she felt the spray soak her palms.

“Well,” Morgan said and made a gesture towards the endless fields, “there’s an awful lot of green out there. You’re definitely allergic to something or the other.”

“Sorry Alex,” Reid piped up, “but he’s right. The flora is very rich here this time of year, it can be anything.”

Blake sighed. Yeah. It seemed she had a secret, green nemesis lurking out there. Just what she needed right now, when the antihistamines she always brought were in the go-bag back at the hotel. Perfect. Just perfect.

“HeASCHOoo!”

"Should I keep blessing you, or...?" Morgan began, grinning widely. 

"Not necessary," Blake muttered. "I won't stop anytime soon."

***

Prompt: Discipline
Fandom: Westworld
Note: I almost wrote this as a “Four times Theresa didn’t stifle and the one time she did”-fic, but I was too lazy.

 

Theresa Cullen was not a stifler. Yes, she was well aware that she sneezed with all the feminine grace of an angry she-bear, but so what? When something is an undeniable fact, you can either be embarrassed about it, or you can own it. Theresa owned it.

For most part. But there were moments when even she had to admit that her loud, forceful sneezes could be embarrassing, or at least a bigger annoyance than usual.

The morning after her first night with Bernard, for example, when she woke up early with the full intent of getting dressed and sneaking out before he woke up. Not because she regretted last night, but because she was worried he might. She would feel more confident seeing him later, when she was fully dressed and ready for work. Not undressed and with a light but unmistakable hangover.

It was just that there was a maddening tickle in her nose. One of those tickles that makes sneezing completely irresistible, she simply knew it wasn’t going to go away on its own. And it was building fast, leaving her no chance of escaping Bernard’s apartment before it overtook her.

She clasped both hands over her mouth and nose, holding her breath to deny the sneeze the fuel it demanded, in the hopes that it would make it quieter, more manageable. The tickle reached an unbearable crescendo which seemed to drag out forever. Then it tipped over the edge, and her body convulsed violently as it absorbed the full force of the desperately contained sneeze. But the superhuman effort paid off; the sneeze was almost completely silent.

Theresa slowly removed her hands from her throbbing nose, feeling light-headed and out of breath.

Fuck, that hurt, I’m never doing that again!

But at least she was rid of the tickle, and Bernard was still fast asleep, so while painful, it was still a double victory.

The brazen seductress from last night quickly got dressed, grabbed her things, and scurried away like a timid mouse.

Bernard smirked a little as the door closed behind her. He had been awake almost an hour longer than Theresa, had gazed at her in the morning light and marvelled over how much softer her sharp features seemed when she was asleep. As much as he wanted to take her in his arms and repeat last night’s adventures, he had known that she would feel nervous and defensive waking up in his bed without a single protective layer to hide behind. So he decided to pretend to be asleep, giving her some leeway. She’d be ready to talk about last night once she was in her office, where she was the undisputed powerholder.

Speaking of powerholder… he was quite impressed by how fiercely she had tried to suppress that sneeze. Theresa certainly knew how to exercise strict discipline over everything she did… when she wanted to, that was.

 

[Leafeon78]

Aww I missed these so much, such lovely writing and characters keep up the great work.

[Chanel_no5]

Thank you!! I'm so happy you like them!  

 

Prompt: Stalked. And now I have to take a moment to explain my word association chain here, or it won’t make sense at all. I was thinking stalked – stalked by the tickle – tickle that won’t go away – stuck sneeze. Any complaints about this association chain I ask that you bring directly to my brain, but it won’t care today, because it’s doped up on sugar and watching the effects of a pollen count listed as High+ 

Fandom: Westworld

Note: This is the original drabble that later grew into the smutty thing I posted in the adult stories section last night. There’s no adult theme in this sneeze part however, and this is what I first wrote. I wanted to wait until I had at least one more drabble to add to the thread, though. Anyway. Here goes.  

 

 

“Hah-ahh… hhh… hhahh… oh, for fuck’s sake, come on!”

 

Theresa groaned and rubbed her nose so hard it was like she tried to punish it. This sneeze just wasn’t coming out. It felt like it was right at the tip of her nostril, fighting stage fright. She did not sympathise. She had been trying to get this sneeze to make up its mind for the past twenty minutes, and she was done fucking around. Looking at a light source usually worked, but this time the only thing it did was to bring the hesitant sneeze even closer to the edge, impossibly close, but it still refused to take the leap.

 

Theresa sniffled impatiently. How was it possible to need to sneeze so desperately and yet not be able to? Well, on to her next trick, then.

 

She lightly tapped that spot high up on the bridge of her nose, a spot that when touched always made her sneeze. The only one who knew about this weird quirk was Bernard, after he accidentally smacked her across the face when he turned in bed one morning. After making sure she was okay (it was just a light swat, it hadn’t even hurt, but it had been enough to make her sneeze) he had been highly amused when informing her on exactly which wires were crossed in her brain to create this quirk, and the photic sneeze reflex as well. Theresa hadn’t been particularly amused to learn that any wires were erroneously crossed in her brain, but if it could help her get this fucking sneeze out, she’d take it.

 

She could feel the nerve-endings contract within her nose, getting ready to build up to that forceful release that she craved so badly… she closed her watery eyes and took two hitching breaths… then it let her down again.

 

She was at a complete loss what to do next. This never failed to work. What the fuck was her body playing at today?

 

I’m going to get this sneeze out if I have to drag it out, she thought. But how? So far it had resisted the tricks she knew.

 

Her eyes fell upon the bobby pin she always kept attached to her sleeve. It was a practical thing to have on you, as it could help pinning together a piece of clothing in case of a wardrobe malfunction. Theresa was never going to be stuck anywhere in public with a broken button or a torn strap. Not happening. So far she had never had to use it, but she was an “in-case” girl by lifelong habit.

 

Maybe she could use that to coax out this stubborn sneeze from her irritated, enflamed nasal passages.

 

I can’t believe I’m doing this, she thought as she took the bobby pin from her sleeve and looked at it. But God, I really need to sneeze.

 

She carefully inserted the bobby pin into her left nostril and brushed it lightly against her irritated septum. Almost… not quite the right spot. A bit higher… rubbing against the inner wall. She was so itchy, and yet all this extra stimulation didn’t seem to work. She thought she would go insane yearning for this satisfying release, but her regal, handsome nose stubbornly resisted everything she could do.

 

Theresa was just about ready to give up and remove the bobby pin, when she accidentally brushed it against the tender lining on the opposite side instead. That, it turned out, was the final straw for her tortured nose. She took a sudden sharp breath as she removed the inducing tool, and then her upper body snapped forward as the sneeze finally, finally claimed her.

 

 “HaaERSCHuhhh! Huh… AESCHHoo!” She barely had time to take a sniffly half-breath before she burst forward with a third: “HuuESCHHoo!”

 

She felt light-headed from the sheer strength of these dammed-up sneezes. She very rarely sneezed three times in a row. It happened sometimes if she had a particularly nasty cold, and she had sneezed even twice that number in a row from her allergies at some point, but it didn’t happen often. If it was a random tickle she would only sneeze once. It was as if the prolonged wait had increased the number to make sure the urge was fully satisfied.

 

She inhaled cautiously through her nose to make sure the tickle really was gone, and to her relief it seemed to be. She wiped the bobby pin with a tissue and put it back in her sleeve.

 

It was certainly a practical thing to have around.

 

***

 

Prompt: Underground
Fandom: Original
Note: I tried to do something different with this one, it’s shorter than 100 words even, but I quite liked writing it so I decided it's in.  

 

 

The rains of April soon give way

To the sun of precious May

A warmth that wakes the seeds asleep

Underground, they’re hidden deep

Roused from sleep they rise to grow

Some are fast, some very slow

But in the end, they all spring forth

From West to East and South to North

Springtime once more conquers all

Its splendour is our wherewithal

These seeds will grow and bloom with ease

Not caring that they make you sneeze.

 

[Chanel_no5]

Prompt: Disarm
Fandom: Westworld
Note: I keep trying to indulge in some lovely allergic misery with this gorgeous-nosed lady, but that damn Bernard keeps interrupting by being all caretaking-y before I can even get there. Anyway. This is probably going to be the last drabble for a while, as I have two trades and a couple of non-fetish writings to tend to. Buuuuut I'll probably be back before anyone even misses me.  

 

Bernard could tell from their body languages alone that Elsie was snapping at Theresa, who was very close to losing her carefully maintained temper and lash out in turn. He was on his way to have lunch, but without a second thought he stepped into the glass cubicle to disarm the situation to the best of his ability.

“What’s going on?”

“Theresa is accusing me of lying to the QA!”

He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Theresa.

“I merely questioned why your department haven’t reported these anomalies until now, if this has been such a widespread problem,” Theresa replied, crossing her arms. A twitch in the corner of Bernard’s mouth made her aware of the gesture and she uncrossed her arms again, appearing uncomfortable as she did.

“Why haven’t we reported these anomalies, Elsie?” Bernard asked, frowning. The younger woman shrugged, still angry but no longer sure if she was entitled to be.

Bernard nodded.

“It’s on me, Theresa,” he said. “It should have been done, and if it hasn’t, it’s on me.”

Theresa only momentarily lost her composure at his quick admission, then she made a gesture towards Elsie.

“Fine. Will you please focus on solving the problem, now?” she said, but at least the hostility in her voice was gone. Elsie looked like she was about to give a final retort just for good measure, but Bernard shook his head subtly.

“Yeah, sure,” she sighed and went up to the host sitting immobile in the other end of the cubicle.

As Bernard left, Theresa caught up with him.

“Keeping your underlings safely tucked beneath your wings, Bernie?” she said.

“Just saving them from the wrath of that daunting woman in charge of QA,” he replied. “She has made more than one of my more sensitive staffers cry in the past, luckily, Elsie is pretty tough.”

“I am aware the general opinion is that I'm a bitch, but I’m really just doing my job,” Theresa replied.

“You’re doing it with a great deal of harshness,” he said. “Most people respond better to kindness.”

“Forgive me for not being all touchy-feely, but I’m not here to babysit engineers who can’t admit when they fuck up,” Theresa said.

“Though I did admit it, didn’t I?” Bernard said, catching her slightly off guard. Theresa tried to keep her face stern, but the tiniest smile slipped through her serious mask.  

“You did. You’ll get your reward tonight. If you don’t mind the risks involved.”

“Risks, huh?” he chuckled.

“Yeah. Apart from the obvious. I’m coming down with something. I’ve been sneezing all day.”

“You don’t look sick.”

“I don’t feel sick either, but nor do I normally sneeze more than once a day, and I certainly don’t call it normal if I sneeze more than five times in one day.” She raised a hand and rubbed a knuckle against the right side of her nose. “Worst part is the tickle doesn’t go away; I keep feeling like I need to sneeze again.”

“It could be allergies,” he said. “Didn't you say you had them last summer? It's starting to kick off again.”

Theresa groaned.

“Fuck.”

“I’ll bring some antihistamines when I come by tonight.”

“You’re probably the only man in the world who can make that sentence sound sexy,” Theresa mused as they parted ways down the corridor. “You should be the one writing narratives.”

“No thank you. I’m better at disarming fights than orchestrate them.”

She could hardly argue against that.

***

 

[Chanel_no5]

Told you guys you wouldn't have time to miss me. I'm actually not done with the other stuff I'm supposed to work on. But this happened anyway.   

Prompt: Love
Fandom: Westworld
Note: This is actually a continuation of another drabble I wrote mainly to console myself because I've been feeling out of it the past few days. That one is basically hinting at slightly too much naughtiness that I'd confidently post it here, but not enough action to warrant a post in adult section. It's a limbo drabble. We need a limbo board. (I'll ask the powers that be if it's okay to post it here, but in the meanwhile you'll have to make do with this.)

The funny thing for me with this character/pairing is that as much as I adore Theresa's nose and crush on her character, I think the thing that really gets to me is their relationship. I am in love with their love. For me, that is a new development. 

 

“Any clue as to why you keep sneezing yet?” Bernard asked as Theresa rolled over away from him and sneezed once with her usual loud, urgent exasperation. No public pretence of holding back or muffling this sneeze, he thought to himself, amused, as the force of her sneeze sent shockwaves through his own body.

“Ugh, no,” she replied and grabbed a couple of tissues from the box on the nightstand. Still laying halfway on top of him, but turning her head away from him, she blew her nose fiercely. To him, it sounded like a pointless effort. She wasn’t congested at all. She rubbed the balled-up tissues under her reddening nose before tossing them away, almost impatiently.

“Come here,” Bernard said and gently pulled her up towards him. “Are you getting sick?” He placed a hand on her forehead to check for a fever. Theresa seemed annoyed, but allowed the touch. “Well, you're not hot.”

“Careful Bernie, I might that that as an insult,” she said, resting her head against his chest. “No, I don’t think I’m getting sick. But if it’s allergies, I sure as hell don’t know what’s causing it. Could be anything.” She looked up at him with a playful smile. “Could be you.”

“God forbid,” he said and ran his fingers through her hair. 

"Not very likely either way," Theresa said and let out a contented sigh. "And even if it were, I'd soldier through. I like the way you touch me too much."

"I'm honoured."

"You should be. I'm not really the romantic type."

"Could've fooled me."

"Well." She smiled to herself in the dark. "I learned decades ago not to question a good thing, only enjoy it while it lasts."

"Is that you trying to be romantic? Because it sounds more like gloom and doom," he said. She chuckled. 

"Shut up, Bernard. I'm trying to enjoy a good thing."

They lay in comfortable silence for a while, and all of a sudden, the words that had been resting in his mouth for weeks were at the tip of his tongue.

I love you, Tess.

Before these words could make their way out and change anything between them, he swallowed them. But right before she fell asleep, Theresa looked up at him and smiled as if she had heard them anyway.

 

[tenderwarrior]

These are so cute! Love them 💖

[Kicker]

I love your descriptions. 

On 5/11/2018 at 3:34 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

usual loud, urgent exasperation. No public pretence of holding back or muffling this sneeze, he thought to himself, amused, as the force of her sneeze sent shockwaves through his own body.

I fucking love your descriptions. 

Reading these is so much fun. Obviously because of the incorporation of something that "pushes my buttons", but also because after the season one finale I've just really needed some lighter content regarding these two lmao. The end of the Love prompt was very sweet. <3 And thoroughly enjoyed! 

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎13 at 11:06 PM, Kicker said:

I love your descriptions. 

I fucking love your descriptions. 

Reading these is so much fun. Obviously because of the incorporation of something that "pushes my buttons", but also because after the season one finale I've just really needed some lighter content regarding these two lmao. The end of the Love prompt was very sweet. <3 And thoroughly enjoyed! 

Thank you!! I think I've said it before, (probably? Too lazy to check), but if you have any request regarding this lady, I am listening. Also when it comes to the pairing at large, because like I said, I'm in love with their love. I just adore how she plays the Alpha to his Beta. Also, I'm CRAZY about how she is actually very well-articulated, yet keeps throwing the f-word around.   My old English teachers would cry.  

On ‎2018‎-‎05‎-‎12 at 8:33 PM, tenderwarrior said:

These are so cute! Love them 💖

Thank you! There will be more Criminal Minds ones coming as well. I am so incredibly grateful to have shaken this writer's block that I don't dare deny anything that inspiration strikes at me when it strikes, however. I really felt like it would last forever. 

 

[Chanel_no5]

*waves* Hello. It's me again, trying to fill a few prompts.  

Prompt: Space
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Note: I saw this interview where Kate Mulgrew said that when she auditioned for the part of Janeway, she had a fever of 103. She didn’t mention other symptoms, but I was happy to fill in the gaps. And when I saw this prompt, I thought of Voyager, so I took up the challenge. I’m gonna say this though, I have tried for twenty years, and Janeway is nearly impossible to write in fetishy context! Thanks to @Selene for profiling Janeway’s sneeze mannerisms with me.  

 

Captain Kathryn Janeway very rarely sneezed. And when she did, it was a random single sneeze, and then she could go a week, maybe two, before it happened again. That she’d sneeze twice in a day was an anomaly.

And that she’d be up to three sneezes before even making it to the bridge that morning…

She sniffed and pressed the back of her hand against her nose for a moment as the number nearly went up to four before the tickle faded again.

… that was a bad sign.

It wasn’t the only bad sign either. She had a headache as well. She had those often, but when added to the frequent tickle in her nose, it had some disturbing implications.

Am I coming down with a cold?

Entering the bridge, she tried to dismiss the thought, but it was easier said than done.

“Status report?”

“All systems working normally, course is steady, no vessels or inhabited planets that our long-range sensors are picking up.”

A slow day, then. That was both good and bad news. Good because then she didn’t have to be as focused as usual, bad because there would be no distractions to take the crew’s attention away from her symptoms. She’d simply have to suppress her symptoms, in case this really was a cold.

Janeway walked across the bridge and sat down in her chair with a deep, involuntary sigh.

“Rough night?” Chakotay asked.

“It's just a headache,” she replied, but she had only just said it when the tickle flared up anew. She inhaled sharply, bent over to the side and sneezed against the back of her hand.

“HhhTSSHH!”

She straightened up with a light sniff.

“Bless you,” Chakotay said. The rest of the crew knew she preferred not to have her sneezes acknowledged, but Chakotay sometimes slipped up.

She ignored him. He chuckled.

“Sorry. Force of habit.”

At least they hadn’t been around to hear the previous three. Hopefully she was done now.

The morning dragged on, uneventful except from the recurring tickle that flared up, teased her almost to the edge of a sneeze, and then faded again. It made her hypervigilant about other symptoms; her throat did feel somewhat dry. Not exactly sore, but like it was on the way to become it.

“Huhh… TSSHH!”

 She sniffed, rolled her eyes in frustration when she felt the tickle was still there, and sneezed again.

“HehTSSHH!”

“Captain,” Tuvok said, “I have noticed that you’ve been sneezing repeatedly this morning.”

“Yes Tuvok, I have noticed the same thing,” Janeway replied curtly and gave her nose a quick rub. “So?”

“It is logical to assume you are in the early stage of the common cold. May I suggest you report to sickbay?”

“Even if I were coming down with a cold, there’s nothing the doctor can do about colds,” Janeway said.

“Nevertheless,” Tuvok began, but Janeway held up a hand to stop him.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m hardly dying. End of discussion.”

***

Prompt: Lunch
Fandom: Westworld
Note: Other people see colourful flower vines in the background of a scene and think about how pretty they are. I see them and think “now that’s a wasted opportunity for allergies”… so I fixed it. *shrug* (from episode 4, I THINK…) 

 

Theresa’s nose itched. Not the kind of itch you could rub away, but an allergic itch that only grew worse the more you tried to appease it. It was probably the purple flowers, but the culprit didn’t matter, only the reaction did.

“Everything alright, Miss Cullen?” Ford asked with a tiny smile, as if he knew exactly how much she fought against the demands of her nose.

“Yes,” she said, but her practical side took over almost as soon as she had said it. She couldn’t struggle through this lunch and pretend that she was fine. It was better to just be upfront. “I’m sorry, I think I’m allergic to something.”

“Severely allergic?” He didn’t sound like he thought so.

“No, I’m fine,” she waved it off. “It’s just…”

“… a touch of hayfever,” he said for her. “Ah, yes. A tiny flaw, a dent in the armour. Not serious, but awfully inconvenient. Some human… imperfection.”

Theresa nodded, not in the mood to interrupt his extravagant speech. She plucked with her napkin. She wasn’t shy about sneezing – though she’d prefer not to do it by the table – but she didn’t want to do it in front of Ford.

“I’m sorry…” her breath hitched, “I have to sneeze.”

She took the napkin, turned away from the table and held the soft fabric close to her face to make sure no spray escaped, and sneezed. She immediately realised she was more allergic than she first thought; the itch wasn’t relenting one bit.

“AEESCHH! HaEESCHHoo! HaERSCHhho!”

Three in a row was a lot for her, but she wasn’t done. Cupping her hands tighter over the napkin, as if that would somehow make the sneezes less violent, she sneezed twice more, feeling increasingly desperate over the itch not backing down. It felt like she would never stop sneezing.

“HaaSSCHOOO! AERSSHHHuhh!”

Jesus fucking Christ, what is this?!

“AaREESCHHHooo!”

Ford seemed to know she was done before she did, because he blessed her and promptly went on with the conversation, as if confident she wasn’t going to keep sneezing.

And she didn’t. Her nose still felt irritated, but she didn’t even feel like she might sneeze, much less know for certain that she would.

Theresa wasn’t the most imaginative type, but this place sometimes gave you wild thoughts, and now she momentarily questioned her own reality.

What if I’m a host, too?

Such nonsense.

And yet…

***

Prompt: Smallest
Fandom: Westworld
Note: Took a scene from episode 2, where Lee and Theresa talk. I like scaring Lee with her, for some reason.  

 

“I received your request to retire an additional fifty hosts…?”

“I need room for my new storyline. It’s not exactly a savage horde with twenty savages, is it?”

Without even uncrossing her arms, only turning away from Lee, Theresa sneezed.

“AEESCHOoo!”

Lee jumped and clasped a hand to his chest.

“Christ! Do you have to sneeze that loud?!”

Unfazed, Theresa simply said:

“Yes.”

“You’re scary,” he said, and when she glared at him he added; “Really, you are.”

“Because I don’t stifle my sneezes? That’s a bit rich coming from the guy who makes a whole scene production out of every sneeze, don’t you think?”

“Hey, at least I warn people in advance before I give them a heart attack!”

“So what you’re saying is that I should warn you first, and then give you a heart attack?”

“No, I’m saying…” he turned to look straight at her and saw a smug smile on her lips. “Oh, very funny.”

“I thought so,” she replied. “Back to your request. You get your twenty hosts. Not fifty. Keep arguing and you’ll be down to fifteen.”

“It’s the smallest horde in history…!” he began, caught her eye, and sighed. “I’ll make it work.”

***

 

[Selene]

Aaahh.. you did it! The elusive Janeway sneeze finally captured here for the first time... Now I feel all Blanche and therefore will quote her: "Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc Fantasy Triple!" The seldom-achieved JANEWAY fantasy triple?... I like that ^^

1 hour ago, Chanel_no5 said:

The rest of the crew knew she preferred not to have her sneezes acknowledged, but Chakotay sometimes slipped up.

This was such a nice little detail! I could see the amused chuckle on his face, while the rest of the crew watches in silent horror, hoping that Janeway will keep her cool

And then there was Tuvok... I heard his voice so clearly in my head when oyu had him point out that she might have a cold. Perfect Tuvok.

Perfect scene in general~ I hope the Captain did not struggle too much while you made her suffer At least both of you agree that there's no need to see the Doctor (ever)

 

1 hour ago, Chanel_no5 said:

I see them and think “now that’s a wasted opportunity for allergies”… so I fixed it. *shrug*

And a good thing you did! Very nice, desperate sneezes form Theresa. You write them so well every time... I hear the annoyance, desperation, and force in each of them...

 

1 hour ago, Chanel_no5 said:

Lee jumped and clasped a hand to his chest.

“Christ! Do you have to sneeze that loud?!”

Unfazed, Theresa simply said:

“Yes.”

I loved this exchange! And somehow, I pictured her with the same facial expression she has in the scene shown in your signature... An unspoken eyeroll added to the unimpressed statement

Theses were all great fun to read! Thank you for sharing!

Edited July 13, 2018 by Selene

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎7‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 2:34 AM, Selene said:

I hope the Captain did not struggle too much while you made her suffer

My dear, our lovely Captain didn't struggle half as much when I wrote her, as I did writing it. Twenty years in the making, and finally breakthrough! I'm glad you enjoyed that little piece of misery.  

 

 

 

Prompt: Naughty
Fandom: Westworld
Note: The idea just struck me when I read through the prompts and found this one. Only implied naughtiness, obviously.  

 

“Taking off? I just got here,” Bernard says.

“You gave me what I needed,” Theresa replies as she slips back into her dress. “I have to get back to work. Be careful when you leave, make sure nobody sees you.”

She puts on her shoes, quickly brushes her hair, and puts on some fresh lipstick. Since she’s standing in front of the mirror, Bernard can see the sneezy look invading her face, little by little as she struggles with the tickle. But Theresa isn’t exactly known for being able to hold back her sneezes, and this one is no exception. She quickly turns to the side and releases a violent, urgent-sounding sneeze.

“AERSSHH!”

She sniffles, then sneezes again.

“HA-ERSSCHHoo! Oh fuck,” she mutters under her breath.

“You okay?” Bernard asks.

“This is your fault, you know,” she says as she turns around to look at him, but she’s smiling. So whatever he has done, it can’t be too bad.

“Alright…?”

Theresa is just about to explain when another tickly wave hits her, and she sneezes again, and again. When she straightens up again she's winded and sniffly, with watery eyes and flushed cheeks. But she still smiles.

“I don’t know why it happens, but I get like this sometimes after… haESSCHHah! After particularly good sex.”

“Oh, I’m flattered.”

“You should be,” she says and laughs. “It must be more than a decade since last time it happened. HUhhhAARSSHHooo!”

“Bless you,” he says, and now he’s grinning broadly.

“Oh believe me, you’ve blessed me already,” she replies. “Four times in the past hour,” she adds with a playful wink before she heads for the door and returns to work.

 

***

 

Prompt: Abusive
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Note: Some more sick Kathryn Janeway, and angrily concerned B’Elanna Torres.  

 

The Captain is the glue keeping them together. She has never given up, never allowed anyone else to give up, and they all know they can count on her. She never abandons a member of her crew.

Except that’s not entirely true.

There is one member of Captain Janeway’s crew that she keeps neglecting, one member whose needs are pushed aside, diminished, and never properly taken care of. And that crewmember is Captain Janeway.

She lives off black coffee, shaking from the constant overdose of caffeine, she almost never sleeps, and what she eats is a mystery. Neelix does what he can, making sure there is easily accessible food – snacks, to be perfectly blunt - pretty much everywhere the Captain can be expected to be, but a cookie here and a fruit there doesn’t really cut it, does it?

Maybe it’s just B’Elanna, but she thinks the other woman, the strong leader who didn’t hesitate to put her faith in B’Elanna even when B’Elanna had no faith in herself, is crumbling before their eyes, and nobody does anything to stop it.

Oh, sure, Chakotay has probably suggested, in that soft voice he uses, that she’d slow down, and Tuvok has definitely informed her how illogical it is for her to keep pushing herself beyond human endurance, and the Doctor has given her more than one talking-to about her bad habits. But the Captain only smiles, nods, assures them she’s fine, and promise that she’ll take better care of herself – then she goes right back to abusing her body and her mind again. Because there really is no more fitting word for what the Captain does to herself. It’s abuse. And it pisses B’Elanna off, but so far, she has managed to control both her rising concerns and her Klingon temper. It worked as long as the other woman was in good health despite being tired and high on caffeine, but when you’re already so rundown, you can’t expect to stay healthy forever, and the Captain’s streak of luck in that aspect has run out.

It’s just a head cold, and she really does her very best to downplay it and hide her symptoms the best she can, but she sounds dreadful and looks even worse. Glassy-eyed and red-nosed, and her already raspy voice has deepened an octave and sounds very raw. You can tell from her voice alone that it hurts her throat to speak, but she does everything she can to keep a poker face.

B’Elanna does the same. Tries to keep a poker face, that is. But today her composed façade is going to crack.

It works for several minutes of having the sniffling, hoarse, feverish Captain hanging over her shoulder as they run this scan – B’Elanna isn’t concerned about the germs, if she gets it she gets it, and if she does, she’s nowhere near as rundown as the other woman to begin with – but she feels like she has to speak up. Only “speak” might be an understatement, “shout” is probably more like it. Gentleness didn’t work, logic didn’t work, medical science didn’t work, so why would B’Elanna’s lashing out work? Better to shut up.

“I think if we increase the plasma flow by 20 %, we should be able to…” Janeway’s voice falters, turns into a series of hitching breaths, before she turns away and sneezes into her cupped hands. “HaaaTSSHHH! Hahh… aaTSSHHH!-uh…”

It’s not the sneezes, not really, it’s that congested, weary little sigh afterwards, that finally tips B’Elanna over the edge. Chakotay once called her “violently compassionate”, and that’s probably the best way of describing it.

“This is getting ridiculous, Captain!” she all but shouts into the face of her superior. Janeway seems completely taken aback by this outburst for a second, but quickly gets her features together, pushing the illness as far aside as she can, going into full Captain-mode.

“Watch your attitude, Lieutenant,” she warns her subordinate.

“Do you hear yourself?! You’re so sick you can barely speak, but I’m the one who needs to watch my attitude?!”

B’Elanna knows she’s way out of line, and she really tries to rein herself in again, but it’s too late. She’s mad as hell with Janeway for treating herself like this, and she’s mad at her for making B’Elanna worried, and she’s mad at herself for reacting like this.

“If you treated anyone else the way you treat yourself, I’d report you,” she snaps, slamming a hand against the console for emphasis. “Is it really that hard to take one sick day? Don’t you trust us?”

Janeway looks as if she’s torn between anger and gratitude.

“B’Elanna, I won’t tolerate anyone speaking to me like that, and you know that,” she finally says, and despite how sick she sounds, her usual firmness has crept back into her voice, if only for the time being.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” B’Elanna says, softer now, taking a deep breath. “Permission to speak freely?”

“Now you’re asking?” Janeway says, raising her eyebrows, but there’s a tiny hint of a smile on her lips. B’Elanna only looks back at her. Janeway sighs and makes a tired gesture with her hands. “Permission granted.”

“I’m worried about you. I’m sorry, but that’s how I get when I’m worried about someone!”

“You yell at them?”

B’Elanna cringes. It’s not as if she hasn’t raised her voice towards Janeway before, but that was years ago, when she was still rebelling against everything that Janeway and her fancy Starfleet stood for. She’d like to think she’s different now, but maybe she isn’t.

“Only if I really care about them," she says, and adds under her breath "and they don’t seem to understand what’s best for them." Janeway either pretends she doesn't hear that addition, or she really doesn't hear it. B'Elanna continues: “But yes, I was out of line and I apologise.”

“Your concern has been noted and appreciated. Next time, voice it a little differently, hm?” the Captain says and checks some numbers.

“I believe Tuvok and Chakotay already have,” B’Elanna replies, crossing her arms. “And you brushed off their concern as well. Captain, I'm serious, you really need to rest.”

Janeway rubs her forehead with one hand, then sniffles.

“I’ll take it into careful consideration, Lieutenant. But right now, we have a warp drive to get back online. Unless of course you'd rather be dead in the water if a Borg cube shows upTSSHoo!” 

"Point taken," B'Elanna says and somehow manages to avoid rolling her eyes, thinking the Captain is annoyingly stubborn, knowing she would act the exact same way in the Captain's position. 

 

***

 

Prompt: None
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager 
Note: Promptless (and sneezeless) 100 word drabble, just because it happened and I didn't have the heart to just throw it away.  

 

"This rhinovirus you have acquired has significantly lowered your efficiency. It is only 42 % of usual capacity," Seven said. 

“That bad, huh? I thought I was at least at 50 %,” Janeway said, but the sarcasm missed its target.

“It would be at 50 %, if you did not constantly require removal of nasal discharge.”

Janeway blinked.

“What?”

Seven frowned as she searched memory for the more casual term.

“You keep blowing your nose. The repeated interruption is inefficient.”

“What do you suggest, Seven? That I just let it run?”

“Yes.”

“Charming,” Janeway remarked and blew her nose again.