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When A Mermaid Sneezes (F Gigantic)


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I had this strange idea for a story, and just went with it. So, here it is. 

Have you ever wondered what happens when a mermaid sneezes? No, you probably haven't, because as far as you know, mermaids don't exist. Well, they do exist. I met a mermaid last summer. As for what happens when a mermaid sneezes, well, I found out the hard way. 
   It all started back in June. I was staying on an island that I bought after winning the lottery. It was a private island- just me on it, left to enjoy the beach and ocean and other island stuff. There was a phone I could use if I needed anything- workers would show up to the island by boat within 15 minutes of being called. It was a great place. I was sitting on the beach, watching the ocean. All of a sudden, I saw a head pop out of the water. It was a pretty girl, with blue eyes, long, light brown hair, and somewhat pale skin. The girl must have seen me, because she swam to the shore, right onto some rocks, and called out "Hello!" 
I walked on over to the rocks to say hello to her, when I saw that she was actually a mermaid. I took a step back, shocked. 
She looked down at her tail, and back to me. 
"You look surprised. Have you never seen a mermaid before?" She asked
"I didn't even know mermaids were real" I said
"Well, we are" she said "I'm Molly, by the way"
I introduced myself, and started asking her all the generic mermaid based questions. 
"So can you breathe underwater?" I asked
"Actually, no. Mermaids have really strong lungs, that can hold a lot of air. We have to come up every few hours or so to breathe" Molly said. 
"So how do you interact with other mermaids underwater?" I questioned
"Well, when water doesn't actually go into our mouths unless we want it to. Its kind of magical" she said. 
"That's pretty cool" I responded. "So can you move around on land at all?"
"Actually I can. I've been practicing it for a while now. I can just balance and hop on my tail" she said, as she hopped onto her tail. 
"We can go back into my house, and hang out there if you'd like" I said
We walked, well I walked, molly hopped, over to my house- a large mansion with a huge pool next to it. Past the pool there was a lawn, the beach, then the ocean.  We sat by the side of my pool, on a couple of chairs I had, and just talked. So here we were- I befriended a mermaid. In fact, we hung out every day for the next few weeks. That's when it happened. We were sitting by the pool again, facing away from the house and out towards the ocean. We were talking about her moving in with me, and living outside of the ocean for a bit. Out of nowhere, a butterfly flew right at her, fluttering its wings in her face. Her nose scrunched up. That's when I witnesses the biggest sneeze I've eve seen. 
"HHUUUPP-SSSCCHHHAAAAAOOOOWWW!!!!!" Molly blasted out a loud, high pitched scream of a sneeze that actually blew me and my chair into the air, tossing me into the pool. At the same time, a massive wave formed in the pool from her sneeze, halfway draining it, and dowsing the lawn in water. 
"Are you ok?!" Molly asked, rushing over to the pool. I swam out of it. 
"I'm fine" I said, grabbing a towel. "That's a huge sneeze you've got there!" 
"Sorry about that" she said, giggling. "It's like I said, mermaids have really strong lungs"
We finished up our conversation. It was settled- Molly would move in with me, and live on land for a while. She went back out to the ocean to get a couple of things, then back to my house. I set her up in the room with an ocean view. 
"It's so beautiful!" She said
"Would you like a tour of the rest of the house?" I asked
"I would love that!" Molly said
I showed her all over the house, then we got to the front door. 
"Can I see outside too? I've only ever seen the pool area. We always went in through the side door" said Molly
"Sure" I said. 
We walked out, and I showed her the yard. The most exciting thing about it was the garden, which was actually pretty big. It had so many different plants. 
"Is that a real flower?" Asked Molly, pointing to one of the tulips. "I've never actually seen a flower before." 
I picked the tulip and handed it to her. "Well, now you have one of your own."
"It's so beautiful!" She exclaimed, as she lifted it to her nose and sniffed it. 
Thats when everything went bad. 
Molly's nose scrunched up. Her head tilted back and her nostrils flared. I took cover behind her. 
Molly blasted out three sneezes that completely destroyed the garden. Dirt and leaves were flying in the air. Hedges fell over and other plants were uprooted. 
She turned towards me and the house. 
"I'm so sorry. I...ahhh...AHHHH...HUPP-SSCCHHAAAAAOOOOWWW!!" Her sneeze blew me against the house and shattered the front windows. She was getting ready for another sneeze. She turned back towards the destroyed garden and let out another huge "HHHHUUUUUUPP-SSSCCHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!" That blew away everything that was left by the garden. My ears were ringing. Her head tilted back and her nostrils flared again. 
"AHHHHH....." She breathed in. 
I quickly pinched her nose to stop her sneeze. I could feel the pressure building. There was no way this sneeze wasn't going to happen. In fact, it was going to be huge. 
"HHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP-SSSCCHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Her sneeze blew me across the yard, to the side, as the front wall of my house crumbled under the extreme wind. She sniffed a couple of times, and with that, she was done sneezing.  I walked back over to her. She was sitting on the ground, crying. 
"I'm so sorry" she said "I didn't mean to destroy your house!"
I hugged her. "It's ok" I said "You didn't mean to."
"I guess you'll want me to move out already" she said
"No, just don't sniff any more flowers" I said. 
"Really?" She asked "You're not mad?"
"Of course not" I said. " You can't help how big your sneezes are"
And that is what happens when a mermaid sneezes. 

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Nice! I enjoyed this one. Destructive sneeze trope is always a favorite, lol. Thanks for writing this.

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Thanks @Gmsnz for keeping the giant sneeze stories scenario going - I really enjoyed reading this. Giant sneezes seem to be currently much less popular than they were in sneezefics, but I love them :D Thanks for posting this!  

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So awesome! Gigantic, destructive sneezes are always great, and I love the creative excuse you gave for why mermaids would have huge sneezes :D

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Lovely story!! Love the combination of giant sneezes and mermaids!

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  • 1 month later...

I must agree with achoo258 and Sneezingnonstop. Giant sneezes, combined with mermaids = goodness :D. And I, too, love your rationale for why mermaids have such powerful sneezes ;).


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